Trials of Faith

[Guest The_Doctor]

Has your faith ever wavered and how did you over come it? Also if you’re willing to talk about it, what caused your faith to waver?

[skalenfehl]

I voted no. My faith has never wavered, but my strength often has. If there is a God and I know there is, the trial is not His. It's mine. So I have to go back to the drawing board again and again until I get it right. I've had my face in the mud so many times in my life, though. Climbing impossible mountains can and often does seem overwhelming and daunting, but with every tiny step and with every mountain conquered, I am stronger for it. My victories have not been without great price.

My most recent experience is a case in point. The market is in shambles, I'm an expert in a dead field now...well almost dead. Being a successful contractor today is like ice skating uphill. It's almost fruitless but it sure does look funny. I decided that (after paying close attention to General Conference), I need to take a step back and look at my life and the choices that I have prayerfully made and be grateful for where I am. After looking for new employment for a month in order to support my self-employed habit (tongue in cheek) I decided that I've been trying to do this alone, in my pride and on my own steam.

On Tuesday I decided to turn it over to the Lord, let go of the steering wheel yet again and after recommitting to be on the path that He wants me to be on and on His terms, not mine. This was my pledge to Him in my personal prayer. That same day, I found the job that I know without a doubt He was saving for me. I realized again what I had forgotten. God sees beyond the horizon. He knows the best outcome for the best decisions we can make. It is His will that we succeed. We only need submit to that will. Learning patience and longsuffering is a big part of the process.

I'm reminded of Hemi's handy chart: http://www.lds.net/forums/christian-beliefs-board/14147-handy-little-chart-our-secretary.html

How true those scriptures are.

[Justice]

I voted no. I have never doubted that the Book of Mormon is true. I have struggled with doing the right things at times, but have never doubted that God lives or that the Church is true.

I have had many amazing experiences. There are times when I question if God really does know what's best for me, I always find out later that it's me, not Him, that doesn't understand. I wouldn't trade those struggles for anything if I have to give back what I learned along with them.

I'm amazed at how quickly God blesses us when we ask for and desire righteous things. It seems the wheels are turning even before we ask or even know what it is we need. He blesses us even though we really don't deserve it.

I've heard some good advice in classes over the years. Here are a few that I have taken to heart:

If your scriptures aren't falling apart then your life probably is.

There can be a fine line between teaching correct principles and being a hypocrite.

Most hard decisions are only hard because the one you don't want is the right one.

[daenvgiell]

still there... sadly to say so

[bubbleboy_619]

Yes. My faith has wavered.

Before being converted, I had many questions regarding free will and human suffering. Sometimes, I would think, Why does He let these kind of things happen? Why should people have the free will to kill and commit reckless acts of defiance and chaos? What is with all these natural disasters? Needless to say, I have wondered and pondered this.

At one point, a few years ago, I felt so strongly on this that I almost thought I was an atheist.

Then, as time went on, I said, There has to be a God. There are so many wrongs and injustices in the world. Justice must come sooner or later. For this reason, pondering about actually strengthened my faith.

Still, I have problems accepting things of the world and I always will. I remember reading 2 Nephi 2 a few weeks ago. Oh is it brilliant. It's one of my favorite scripture chapters so far. If evil did not exist in the world, how would we know that we are doing good in the world? Some things I cannot accept and some things I cannot excuse. One thing I do know, however, is that agency shows us how to profess good works. If we choose to do good works, then we choose what is right. When we choose what is right, we humble ourselves by honoring the Lord. As we prosper in our good works, our reward will come eventually. Take a look at Alma 40 and 41. We will all receive our placement to commensurate what we have done here on earth.

[Traveler]

I voted yes. There have been a number of times when the circumstances were so dark and bleak that I doubted did not believe I would live or survive through it. Two such circumstances occurred while I served in the army during the Vietnam era.

The Traveler

[Mirium]

No, my faith has never never wavered. There has never been any doubt in my mind that this church is true. Even at my darkest times its my faith that keeps me going. I wonder now how I ever survived without it before I found the gospel. I know that so long as we are willing to put our faith and trust in our Father in Heaven He can see us through anything. It won't be easy, it can be really painful but it is possible.

[Guest tomk]

Of course my faith has wavered. I am surprised that anyone would answer no to this question. This is the reason I need the Lord so desperately!

Edited October 12, 2008 by tomk

[Moksha]

The improbability of the narrative, till I learned how to define faith for myself.

[lindsayjane]

Yes. Although after going to church alone since I was ten, overcoming inactive, alcoholic parents, serving on seminary council, "wanting to be Hugh Nibley when I grew up," and even studying Hebrew and the ancient Near East at BYU, I never thought it was possible at one time. I thought I was solid and always would be. It took struggling with an inactive husband for five years then being divorced by my second husband (who I am still sealed to) after being married less than three years. Still to this day I can't trust feelings from the spirit that I may or may not be feeling. I have made so many bad decisions because of what I thought the Lord wanted for me. So I have a hard time now trusting what the right thing is. I can handle sadness and trials, that's not the issue. I've endured terrible things in faith throughout my life. The issue is when I end up miserable for trying to do the right things and feeling complete peace when I'm inactive and not living the standards.

[RainofGold]

I converted to the church more than twenty years ago when I was 15 years old. I have gone through many trials in my life and I'm still going through them right now.

I am married to a man that is not an active member of the church, we have two teens that I had to raise in the church on my own.

Not having my husband with me at church has made my faith even stronger and my testimony grow.

I would love to have my husband by my side at church and to be sealed to him and my children. But that's not that case, it has being really hard for me at times but I know that it has nothing to do with my Heavenly Father, is a choice that I made and now I am living with the consequences of that choice. I am thankful to him because He has never left my side, He has made me stronger because He knows that my children are counting on me. And no matter what happens I cant let them down. I can't let my Heavenly Father down either, because He has given me so much in my life that I don't feel that I deserve all the blessings.

I am thankful to Him for His love and His spirit that has being my constant companion in the darkest moments in my life. I know He listen to my prayers and that He cares about me.

My faith has grown as the years go by and I learn more about the life of Christ and His sacrifice for me.

[faithagain]

Yes, very much so. I gave up completely on church in '01 when my Mom died and then 9/11 happened 2 weeks later. I'm just now getting to the point where my faith is coming back. I am saddened it took so long.

[YoungMormonRoyalist]

Yes, my faith wavered when I was 14-15. It was the time when most teens in the church begin to honestly question the faith, when the begin to realize that they cannot rely solely on their parents belief, but must gain there own. I was always into history, philosopy, literature and the humanities in general, and in highschool I began to study other faiths, viewpoints and philosophies with a passion.

I came very close to being an atheist, and I still look with a certain admiriation to the view...which I may explain at another time. And then I reached a low point in my life, it was then that I began to meditate and pray on the scriptures and other books. It was then I had an amazing personal experience that brought me to a sudden belief in God and the church. Since then I've taken up my cross and a different view point on life: Theistic-existentialism, this is a short blurb on the philosophy, which is a sub-view of existentialism in general:

The main thing that sets them apart from atheistic existentialists is that they posit the existence of God, and that He is the source of our being. It is generally held that God has designed the world in such a way that we must define our own lives, and each individual is held accountable for his or her own self-definition.

In addition to this, it is commonly held that the only way to truly face the cruelties of the naked facts of existence is to have faith. This faith is by definition irrational, which means that you cannot be persuaded into faith; belief as the result of a logical proof of God would necessarily be an untrue belief. Reason may only bring you to the threshold of the domain of faith, and to apply reason to anything that lies beyond reason's reach is to "degrade" the irrational into the rational, which implies that you misunderstand it.

[Prodigal_Son]

Right after high school my life went down the crapper. I made poor choice after poor choice. During that lowest spot of my life, I remember having this ??fear?? that Joseph might have been a charlatan. I struggled for months with that concern. I'd come up with alternative explanations for everything he did/accomplished/proclaimed.

Eventually, I got my life in order. And as I faced this doubt head-on, I guess I addressed the problem with the old "by their fruits ye shall know them" approach. Though I couldn't, at the time, directly reconcile Joseph Smith - I realized that I had complete faith in the church and the Book of Mormon... And, therefore, Joseph was legit - else he couldn't have brought those miracles to fruition.

[Guest The_Doctor]

Eventually, I got my life in order. And as I faced this doubt head-on, I guess I addressed the problem with the old "by their fruits ye shall know them" approach. Though I couldn't, at the time, directly reconcile Joseph Smith - I realized that I had complete faith in the church and the Book of Mormon... And, therefore, Joseph was legit - else he couldn't have brought those miracles to fruition.

Could you explain the "by their fruits ye shall know them" thing? Was that about the church or something else?

[Prodigal_Son]

Could you explain the "by their fruits ye shall know them" thing? Was that about the church or something else?

I simply mean Joseph. Everything hinges on him, as he was the mortal creator/presenter/author of it all. But since I couldn't come to terms (at the time) with Brother Joseph, I had to look at what he did/created/accomplished - his "fruits". And having a firm belief in the Book of Mormon, and recognizing the Church's authority and rightness (is that a word?? :) ), I was able to determine that the only way Joseph could have brought about such powerful truths - was by being pure, holy, and divinely directed himself.

Did that make sense, or did I muddy the waters a bit?