Murmuring goin' on in RS

[zookeeper]

In my ward the relief society president is someone very close to me. She has had to make some changes in order to align the ward relief society with instruction from the general auxiliary presidency. In the process of stirring things up she has dealt with negative gossip and complaints about her! She bears it well and puts on a smile, knowing she is doing the right thing but I want to stand on a chair and yell at some ladies to GROW UP! As she has asked me not to do that...I thought I'd get this off my chest by putting up a thread to discuss respect and humility when it comes to our leaders. As we watch our ward leaders struggle to do their best, hopefully we are not part of that croud that gossips and backbites. Any thoughts?

P.S. I do love my ward...just glad I'm in young womens at the moment.

[Starfish]

Give your RS president a BIG hug for me!

[ruthiechan]

Wait, people are getting upset with her for making the changes in RS the General RS leaders have asked the RS to make? Wow. Talk about not wanting to change your ways!

Give her lots of love and appreciation, and when you find a sister who is supportive of the RS then mention to her that mayhaps they should show their appreciation.

*hugs*

Pray for her and the murmurers.

[Hemidakota]

In my ward the relief society president is someone very close to me. She has had to make some changes in order to align the ward relief society with instruction from the general auxiliary presidency. In the process of stirring things up she has dealt with negative gossip and complaints about her! She bears it well and puts on a smile, knowing she is doing the right thing but I want to stand on a chair and yell at some ladies to GROW UP! As she has asked me not to do that...I thought I'd get this off my chest by putting up a thread to discuss respect and humility when it comes to our leaders. As we watch our ward leaders struggle to do their best, hopefully we are not part of that croud that gossips and backbites. Any thoughts?

P.S. I do love my ward...just glad I'm in young womens at the moment.

Stand next to her in defense when you hear others 'backbiting or gossiping'.

[Misshalfway]

I lived in a ward once....a young ward....where this was a terrible problem. The bishop dedicated a sacrament meeting to the subject. I have since moved from the area but keep in touch with one friend. From what I hear the situation hasn't improved. Many struggled to say anything supportive about the current bishop.

I suppose when we are called in leadership type callings, we kind of inherit the needs of those we serve. Perhaps they need some formal invitation to live a little better. Perhaps the Spirit could guide on this. Maybe this subject should be part of the RS or HT message. Seems to me like this group needs some leadership in guiding them to a better way, lovingly of course.

[Hemidakota]

Or the Spirit will withdraw itself. :)

[skippy740]

The next time you hear something not quite right - just say something like "You're right! We should go tell her that!"

This may cause them to think a little harder about what they're saying. Otherwise, while you're not "participating", you're encouraging it by listening. By trying to tie in the petty bickering with an ACTION step, it should stem it.

However, I'm not a sister, so please take my words with a grain of salt as I'm not always the best one to communicate with women. :)

[Elgama]

My advice is to provide emotional support and friendship to your RS president but stay out of it as much as possible it can destroy a ward or branch its better that as few people as possible are involved. Does your Bishop know about it?

-Charley

[pam]

Signs of the times...There will be much more murmuring going on. Things like this are just a start.

[Wingnut]

My mom was released earlier this year as RS President in her ward. When she was called, she dealt with some interesting problems. The lesson time was very often cut in half, because the announcement time took too long. It would go something like this:

1st Counselor: Sisters, I just want to remind you that Sister Jones' mother is in the hospital, and she's not doing well. It would be nice if you could take the time to give her a call this week or --

Sister Smith: That's not what I heard! I talked to her last night and she said her mother is doing much better and will probably be coming home today or tomorrow.

Sister Young: Well, I called her this morning before I came over and she said that things had gotten worse overnight again.

Sister Johnson: Well I made cookies this morning and took them over to her on my way to church and she was heading out the door to pick her mother up at the hospital to bring her home.

Sister Nelson: I got a text message from her during Sunday School, and she said that her mother was just transferred back to the ICU and it's really not looking good.

There was so much bickering and even yelling across the room that some days it had my mom in tears sitting in Relief Society, wondering how she could bring the sisters together to help them see the bigger picture of whatever was going on, Sister Jones still needed their support.

In my own ward, we have a lot of students. We are not a student ward, but there are many many medical, dental, and law students, and medical residents that live within my ward boundaries. We have many "-ites": medicalites, dentites, lawites, podiatrites, anesthesiologites, permanites (those who actually just live here), and so on. Somehow, our Relief Society isn't terribly divided. I, however, feel like the only one left out. I am neither a student family not a long-time resident. I am a 'permanite' but I've only been here 15 months. I don't quite fit in with any one group, but I have enough friends.

My Relief Society President is somewhat of an anomaly, though. She's 31 years old, has been married 'only' four years, and has no children. Her husband is a med student, so she works a lot. In fact, she's currently what would typically be referred to as a 'career woman.' She's high-powered, travels to three or four cities in a week, wears trendy suits and fabulous peep-toe heels. She has a great sense of fashion, and a great body with which to show it off. And she's a Democrat. She has confided in me that she feels sometimes inadequate and mostly out of place as the leader of the women in this ward, who are almost all mothers, many from Utah (and most very Republican), and either quite young (married young) or several decades older than she is. She has a whole set of issues to deal with other than gossip, which I don't think is actually too much of a problem in our ward. She deals much more with welfare issues.

Anyway, this doesn't really respond to the topic, but just throws out other scenarios. As women I think we like to commiserate and certainly have a need to know that we're not alone.

[zookeeper]

My advice is to provide emotional support and friendship to your RS president but stay out of it as much as possible it can destroy a ward or branch its better that as few people as possible are involved. Does your Bishop know about it?

-Charley

She did tell me that she spoke to the bishop for advice. Apparently (as we are both fairly new to the ward) there is a handful of gals that tend to stir up contention on occasion. Most people are just aware and don't let it sour the whole ward. Things just got stirred up more than usual with the new presidency making some needed changes. But I'm glad to have been aware of it since it has renewed in me the importance of speaking kindly of our leaders. When I'm in a leadership position I hope people will have faith in me. That while I am far from perfect, I am just fulfilling my calling as I believe the Lord wants me to.

[zookeeper]

My advice is to provide emotional support and friendship to your RS president but stay out of it as much as possible it can destroy a ward or branch its better that as few people as possible are involved. Does your Bishop know about it?

-Charley

She did tell me that she spoke to the bishop for advice. Apparently (as we are both fairly new to the ward) there is a handful of gals that tend to stir up contention on occasion. Most people are just aware and don't let it sour the whole ward. Things just got stirred up more than usual with the new presidency making some needed changes. But I'm glad to have been aware of it since it has renewed in me the importance of speaking kindly of our leaders. When I'm in a leadership position I hope people will have faith in me. That while I am far from perfect, I am just fulfilling my calling as I believe the Lord wants me to.

THANKS for all the great responses!!