In-active member is search of advice

[LDSCanadian]

I have been an in-active member for several years now and have not followed the commandments or lead a spititual life. I have struggled with the Word of Wisdom and become addicted to tobacco, alcohol, and drugs. I have overcome my addiction to alcohol and drugs, though I have not yet been able to stop using tobacco.

I wish to turn away from that way of life and return to the Church. I wish to truely make a repentance and seek Heavenly Fathers forgivness for the things I have done; though honestly I don't really know how, how I may truely do this. I feel that I can not return until I have freed myself from my past ways and thoughts, and am again worthy to be a member and partake in the Sacrement.

I feel I am at constant struggle with my faith and my desire to believe. I have been reading my scriptures to help strengthen my faith and testimony, however I find it difficult to bring myself to prayer. I feel Heavenly Father will not hear my words because my mind and spirit are clouded by my immorality by not following His teachings and commandments. I know it is in these times moreso then ever that we need to turn to Heavenly Father in thoughtful prayer, yet I still struggle with this.

I would like to thank you for taking the time to read this and would be most greatful for any help or advice anyone here may give me.

Thanks again, best wishes.

[beefche]

I feel that I can not return until I have freed myself from my past ways and thoughts, and am again worthy to be a member and partake in the Sacrement.

however I find it difficult to bring myself to prayer. I feel Heavenly Father will not hear my words because my mind and spirit are clouded by my immorality by not following His teachings and commandments. I know it is in these times moreso then ever that we need to turn to Heavenly Father in thoughtful prayer, yet I still struggle with this.

2 Nephi 32:8-9

8 And now, my beloved brethren, I perceive that ye ponder still in your hearts; and it grieveth me that I must speak concerning this thing. For if ye would hearken unto the aSpirit which teacheth a man to bpray ye would know that ye must cpray; for the devil spirit teacheth not a man to pray, but teacheth him that he must not pray.

9 But behold, I say unto you that ye must apray always, and not faint; that ye must not perform any thing unto the Lord save in the first place ye shall bpray unto the Father in the cname of Christ, that he will dconsecrate thy performance unto thee, that thy performance may be for the ewelfare of thy soul.

It's Satan who is putting these thoughts that you have to be worthy to go to church, pray, read scriptures, etc. Jesus was a Healer--not a museum curator. He came to the sick, not the whole.

When the thoughts that you aren't worthy to pray or to go to church come, then immediately remember Christ's love for you. Even if you can't feel His love, KNOW He loves you. Trust the scriptures. Trust Him to know YOU, really know you.

Contact your bishop. He is there to help you--he'll love and guide you, not condemn you. To find your local meetinghouse go here: LDS Maps

Good luck, brother.

[cullenh]

Wow beef said it all really !!! from Satan putting those thoughts there and your bishop is the source of strength you need right now.... we are here for you and know that Heavenly Father loves you and wants you to find happiness in this life so trust him and trust in yourself. We are all here for you as well and know that we all have had or have our struggles!

Cullen

[hazeleyes74]

I to recently have come back to the church...I can say it has been a decision that has given me the most peace I have felt in years. Meet with your bishop tell him what you want and where you are at in your struggle...he will lead you in what steps you need to take next. Also, never think that Heavenly

Father won't hear your prayers or listen to you...He knows you inside and out...what you are thinking before you think it. When you ask forgiveness for your sins you are forgiven and its a done deal...He doesn't remember them anymore. The biggest thing I have found is that you have to forgive yourself first.

Good luck

[chriscb]

"Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more. By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins--behold, he will confess them and forsake them." Doctrine and Covenants 58

[tubaloth]

Seek out the local ward, start to attend. Talk to the bishiop, but even more I suggest you talk to the missionaries. They can give you more one on one attention. They can come buy and read and just spend time with you (they do bring the spirit)

they also can help you pray again!

I know on my mission, the best people we met where those we were helping bring back into the church (because they knew what they had lost)!

[LDSCanadian]

Thank you everyone for your advice and support. It is most helpful to me.

I should seek out my bishop, but to be perfectly honest the thought almost teriffies me. I feel ashamed of the things I have done, and to put them to voice makes them truely real and they can not be hidden away in the corner with a sheet over it depending on what company is around.

I can not recall the scripture but in essance it speaks of when we come to kneel before Christ are we going to be able to look up at him or will our eyes be cast down because we are too ashamed to face Him and look up at Him. That is about how I feel. I feel greatly ashamed to go before the bishop and that seems great enough, but the thought of how I am before Heavenly Father can't be put into words.

To put it simply I'm scared, that not lightly said few things bring this level of fright into me, though spiders do come close lol (sorry after being so serious a little lightness was needed.)

Thank you everyone for your words and encouragment.

[jolee65]

Dont forget church is for sinners not the perfect because there is none, you would be surprised at the struggles people have even the ones that come to church with there wife or husband and children in toe looking like the perfect picture of faith and strenght and as far as anyone else knows you looking like the most together person in the church.

You are beating yourself up with shame, feel repentant but dont let it get out of control, take control like you did with your habits. The flesh is weak the Savior gave us away to cancel out the sins of the flesh, your part is showing repentance, taking of sacrament he did that for all of us including you now its time for you to take advanage of it.

But lets not forget the sacrifice Heavenly Father made as a parent to give His only Begotten Son.

Also not to be to light hearted but I would rather talk to the Bishop then Heavenly Father about my sins, get it over in this life not the next.

Keep us posted we do care about you.

so does Heavenly Father

Edited December 18, 2008 by jolee65

[kittymac1969]

Everyone here had given you some great advice.

I know what it's like to become inactive. I also know what it's like to face addictions. First of all , I want to congratulate you on overcoming what you have. That's a HUGE accomplishment!

I too was worried about going back to church. I let that fear keep me away for far too long. Then, one Sunday I decided to just do it. I was amazed at how good it felt. It gace me the strength I needed to start living the gospel again.

Talk to your bishop. If you are too scared to do that right away, just go to church. Let the Spirit have a chance to testify to you of Heavenly Father and Jesus' love for you. Then take it from there.

[beefche]

I feel ashamed of the things I have done, and to put them to voice makes them truely real and they can not be hidden away in the corner with a sheet over it depending on what company is around.

First, shame isn't a very helpful feeling. I think guilt is a better feeling, because oftentimes guilt will incur action. Shame incurs hiding.

Perhaps if you understand a little of the Bishop's responsibilities you may feel more comfortable. His job (if you will) is to be a spiritual guide for you. He cannot condemn you. He does not have that right. He has been blessed by the Lord to feel compassion and love as well as be guided by the Spirit to guide individuals (specifically, YOU) to greater peace and happiness.

This doesn't mean that you won't be required to do some hard things. You will. But, the wonderful aspect of talking with the Bishop is you will actually FEEL his love and God's love for you. It will be a physical feeling.

Start first by just going to church. Introduce yourself to the bishop and let him know you need to speak to him. Then when you do meet with him, if you don't feel you can "confess" that's ok. Simply tell him of your desires to change your life and that you need to do it a step at a time. Who said you need to confess all on your first meeting with the bishop? Maybe you will, perhaps you can't. He will likely want to meet with you on a regular basis (whatever regular is for the 2 of you). T

he missionaries can help, but even greater help will be some good home teachers. These will be men from your ward (congregation) who will visit you and help you. Ask that you be assigned to a couple of gentlemen who will visit you regularly. They will become your friends who will be there to help you.

Take the plunge and go to church Sunday.

[Hemidakota]

I have been an in-active member for several years now and have not followed the commandments or lead a spititual life. I have struggled with the Word of Wisdom and become addicted to tobacco, alcohol, and drugs. I have overcome my addiction to alcohol and drugs, though I have not yet been able to stop using tobacco.

I wish to turn away from that way of life and return to the Church. I wish to truely make a repentance and seek Heavenly Fathers forgivness for the things I have done; though honestly I don't really know how, how I may truely do this. I feel that I can not return until I have freed myself from my past ways and thoughts, and am again worthy to be a member and partake in the Sacrement.

I feel I am at constant struggle with my faith and my desire to believe. I have been reading my scriptures to help strengthen my faith and testimony, however I find it difficult to bring myself to prayer. I feel Heavenly Father will not hear my words because my mind and spirit are clouded by my immorality by not following His teachings and commandments. I know it is in these times moreso then ever that we need to turn to Heavenly Father in thoughtful prayer, yet I still struggle with this.

I would like to thank you for taking the time to read this and would be most greatful for any help or advice anyone here may give me.

Thanks again, best wishes.

Go see your Bishop and ask for help and a blessing....

[applepansy]

Everyone has give you good advice. I really can't add much to it, except that I KNOW our Heavenly Father loves us and wants to repent and "come unto him."

When you can face and voice, and then let go of the sins you will feel a lightness and happiness that is amazing.

Hang in there,

applepansy

[rameumptom]

Go speak with your bishop. He will give you counsel on things to strengthen yourself and to overcome your struggles. Church attendance and the gospel is not just for the strong, active members. Jesus taught that the healthy do not need a physician, but the sick do. The bishop is your ward's spiritual doctor - go see him.

[kodabear]

I agree with all that has been said to you. I would add one thing. It is normal to remember the things you have done, in the past. Let them be a reminder not to do them again. In time they will disapear into the past. Remember, that REPENT also means to turn from what ever it is that is wrong. Having been on both sides of the fence so to speak, I know how you feel and how hard it is to return.

Rember that your Heavenly Father loves you and will forive you. But, part of repentance is FORGIVING yourself. The Lord will forgive you long before you will forgive your self. But, it is absoultely necessary for you to do that.

As far as thinking about wrong things; memorize a hymn and sing it silently to replace bad thoughts. The best hymn I know is "I AM A CHILD OF GOD." This hymn reminds you who you are and that you have a Heavenly Father who love you and will forgi ve you.

[YoungMormonRoyalist]

Thank you everyone for your advice and support. It is most helpful to me.

I should seek out my bishop, but to be perfectly honest the thought almost teriffies me. I feel ashamed of the things I have done, and to put them to voice makes them truely real and they can not be hidden away in the corner with a sheet over it depending on what company is around.

I can not recall the scripture but in essance it speaks of when we come to kneel before Christ are we going to be able to look up at him or will our eyes be cast down because we are too ashamed to face Him and look up at Him. That is about how I feel. I feel greatly ashamed to go before the bishop and that seems great enough, but the thought of how I am before Heavenly Father can't be put into words.

To put it simply I'm scared, that not lightly said few things bring this level of fright into me, though spiders do come close lol (sorry after being so serious a little lightness was needed.)

Thank you everyone for your words and encouragment.

Shame, or guilt, or whatever you may call it, is an essential step in the repentence.

Remember that any terror we may feel about going to the bishop, or kneeling before Christ is not because we feel they will reject us, but because we are not worthy of the love they so freely offer us. Imagine Christ, reaching his hand down and saying 'Lay your sins upon me, I already know what they are, I've already paid for them, now if you'll just let me help you..."

It's a personal belief of mine that atonement of Christ not only involved the Messiah taking upon himself the sins of mankind, but everyone's sickness, afflictions, and hurts in life. But that's not all, I think....no....I know that he also took upon himself our joys, our happinesses, our righteous pleasures and hopes. The reason why he wants to help us so badly is because he knows what we are capable of, he knows the goodness inside of us. When he looks upon you he sees sin as just a bit of dirt or mud covering an otherwise beautiful diamond.

I've been through repentence before, I had to go to the bishop. Trust me, the sheperd of your ward is in Simultude of the Only Begotten. Lay your sins, but also your hopes for forgiveness at his feet. I garuntee you that as you leave his office you'll feel a spiritual weight come off your shoulders.

[RobertP]

Those realities can be hard to face. Advice can be true at times but not felt as easily. One thing that I think can help, is there is not much that bishops haven't heard. You aren't going to curl his hair with anything you have to bring before him. Don't let anything of that nature be your fear. You are not somewhere people haven't been. Talk to him, he can help. One place I think can help you beat the nicotine is here. Brain State Technologies, find a local office if there is one. They have helped people get off meth and all sorts of stuff, just let the brain find out how to be balanced and happy, read at least the one testimonial on that site from the meth addict. It is pretty powerful from my point of view. I have only been 3 times, more for other things, but I feel it has helped me bridge the gap a little between conscious and subconscious, you know, that part that wants tobacco even when you think you don't? They have a quit smoking program at the local one here, and I expect since they franchise that all of them will have that. Kind of a different outlook, but just tossing it out there. Getting sins behind can help one see better. Repentance gets us closer to God, and if we aren't standing where we can see down that straight and narrow path, things are more likely to block our view, which isn't to say there isn't something to see at the end of that path that we keep reaching for, just that we aren't standing in the right place to see or looking the right way. State of being affects our point of view. Repentance affects our state of being and allows us to see things that weren't visible previously.