Not sure about my testimony

[KayaLove00]

Over the past couple years I have been increasingly losing my testimony. I am 27, married in the temple, and have been living up to the standards. I just am not sure anymore if the church is the true church- my questioning actually started when I went to take out my endowments. It literally freaked me out but I held it all inside. Also, the more I learn about Joseph Smith and him marrying really young girls ...and marrying women who were already married to men seems quite bothersome. I have prayed for understanding and I keep getting the same feeling- uneasiness and a stupor of thought. I used to accept all the teachings without question-which I don't think is healthy now that I am looking back because now I am doubting and am actually stating to THINK about things. I also disagree immensly with the church's involvement in Prop 8 on sooooo many levels. I see most members, including my own family, becoming more and more dogmatic and judgmental- something the prophets have warned against. Does anyone else feel the same as me???

[pam]

I can't relate. I can honestly say I've never once questioned my beliefs in the Church nor it's doctrine nor it's history. In that I am grateful. I've never gone though a doubting stage. I may not have always followed the teachings and the gospel (I'm not perfect) but I have been a lucky one in never doubting.

[bytor2112]

The things of God can only be understood by the power of the Holy Spirit. That's a favorite saying of mine,not mine originally, but so true. Did you have a testimony....Holy Spirit? If yes, try and remember how that felt versus how you feel now and ask yourself what's different. Church history can be very confusing, especially when we try to view 19th century events through 21st century lenses. The detail and facts surrounding different "questionable" events are not all that clear. Remember that the adversary seeks to make you miserable like unto himself. Don't fall for it. As for Prop 8, that has been debated to death on this site. My own opinion is that if President Monson was led to take a stand then it was for a righteous cause. Whether or not g/l marriage should be legal or not is wholly irrelevant in the eternal scheme of things, as it will never lead to Eternal life. My suggestion is to not let the secular aspects of life overshadow the Spiritual. There are only two directions in life....toward Heavenly Father or away. Dogmatic? Yes. But still true. I hope you figure things out, I think most people have trials of there faith at some point during their lives. Best of luck!:) Edited December 18, 2008 by bytor2112

[bmy-]

I also do not agree with the churches public stance on prop-8. It's a personal decision in my opinion and i'm a firm believer in leading with your actions and not your mouth. Thank goodness for us that our stance on prop-8 has nothing to do with our salvation, no?

As for Joseph marrying 'younger' women -- that particular topic is subject to debate. Many of those women were joined to him after he had passed through this life. He had his weaknesses just like you and I.. cut him some slack. [Not to mention that men marrying younger women was nothing out of the ordinary in the past]

[tubaloth]

my questioning actually started when I went to take out my endowments. It literally freaked me out but I held it all inside.

I don’t think there is anybody that actually goes through the temple the first time, and doesn’t at least think it’s a little weird. I know I did, but as I study the scriptures, went to the temple more often, I came to understand so much more. I tried to figure out so many more things.

Then I hear things like that the Temple Endowment is same thing that Nephi (and Lehi) saw in the Tree of life vision. I can see what they mean in parts of it.

But really this probably comes for a lack of understanding, and probably preparation.

Talk to your husband about the things you find strange, talk to your bishop. Get a Institute study guide on the temple! There are many ways to find answers if you want them?

Also, the more I learn about Joseph Smith and him marrying really young girls ...and marrying women who were already married to men seems quite bothersome.

This also is natural to some extent. When I first started to hear about these things I didn’t want to accept them. But I also knew where my testimony was founding in! I knew Joseph Smith was a prophet, I knew he had seen Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ! I know he translated the book of mormon! I know these things because the spirit told me! No matter what I did to try to talk myself out of it, it never worked! I couldn’t do it!

So I had to realize, Joseph Smith was commanded to do a lot of things! I can’t say I understand everything that Joseph Smith did, or even all Joseph Smith knew. But I do know Joseph Smith was called a prophet!

So how is your scripture reading? How is your reading in the book of mormon?

Usually when a testimony suffers its because its not getting the spiritual nourishment it needs.

I have prayed for understanding and I keep getting the same feeling- uneasiness and a stupor of thought.

1. what kind of understanding are you searching for? Are you praying to know if Joseph Smith was a prophet of God? Are you praying to know if the Book of Mormon is true? Are you praying to know that Christ has restored his Church to the earth? Isn’t this the understand you seek? Specific questions lead to specific answers. I just don’t know what you were expecting to have happen?

I used to accept all the teachings without question-which I don't think is healthy now that I am looking back because now I am doubting and am actually stating to THINK about things.

I agree that is unhealthy, but I think you getting things mixed up in your head! I suggest you take some time and read the Joseph Smith Manual we are using to study now! Pray, learn, grow. See if those teachings are true! You have to start somewhere.

I also disagree immensly with the church's involvement in Prop 8 on sooooo many levels.

That’s fine, people can disagree with each other. Does that affect your stance on the Book of Mormon and Joseph Smith?

I see most members, including my own family, becoming more and more dogmatic and judgmental- something the prophets have warned against.

So because others aren’t following the Prophet you feel:

1. There is no reason for you to follow him

Or 2. He must not be a prophet because people aren’t following him?

Not sure what logic you are using here!

Study the Gospel! I feel you have drifted away from what the Church really is (maybe the media has done this to you). Get a Gospel Principles book.

http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=7b2a5f74db46c010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=ea697befabc20110VgnVCM100000176f620a____

Build the foundation of your knowledge of the Gospel. Start small. If this foundation is not in place, then thing in the temple aren’t going to make sense.

See if you believe the foundation teachings before you move to bigger things!

Good Luck!

Alma 37:6-7

[kona0197]

I am still waiting for my answer from above weather the BoM is true. Every time I ask I get the worst feeling.

[bmy-]

I am still waiting for my answer from above weather the BoM is true. Every time I ask I get the worst feeling.

'True' is a funny word.. if you're asking if every event in the BoM took place as described you might get the wrong vibe.

Have you tried asking whether or not Joseph Smith was a true prophet? Or you could also try reading the D&C and praying about them.

Or my favorite: Are our Articles of Faith 'true'?

[kona0197]

This might anger you or others and I am sorry but I am not convinced he was a prophet yet.

But this thread is not about me and my views are well known so back to topic.

[bmy-]

This might anger you or others and I am sorry but I am not convinced he was a prophet yet.

But this thread is not about me and my views are well known so back to topic.

I'm fairly hard to anger.. especially in intelligent conversations. You'll find your way sooner or later. Whatever it may be. Best of luck

Kaya -- hold tight and keep at it. Questions have a way of working themselves out.. and you'll likely end up with more questions than you have now. It's how we grow.

[bytor2112]

I also do not agree with the churches public stance on prop-8. It's a personal decision in my opinion and i'm a firm believer in leading with your actions and not your mouth. Thank goodness for us that our stance on prop-8 has nothing to do with our salvation, no?

Perhaps, not. But certainly the First Presidency and the Lord are concerned for the salvation of those entering into these unholy unions. The voice needed to be clear and unequivocal, that g/l marriage in the Lord's eyes is abhorrent and will rob those who continue unrepentant in this lifestyle of eternal life. I think the church is obligated to clarify and take a stand on moral issues. Whether we choose to follow the council or not.......well we have our agency.

[bytor2112]

I am still waiting for my answer from above weather the BoM is true. Every time I ask I get the worst feeling.

Kona, the answer of whether or not the church is true and the Bom comes in different ways. Often it is confirmation by the Holy Spirit when you are singing a hymn or offering a prayer at church. I don't think I have ever prayed about the BOM and at that moment felt the Spirit confirm to me that it wa true, but I have definitely felt the Spirit when I have read it. Mostly, I feel the Holy Spirit when my life is in order, when I am seeking the Lord's face, when I have an unquenchable thirst for righteousness.....when I am doing his will, that is when the holy Spirit seeks to commune with my spirit. If you aren't living your life in order with the Lord's teachings, perhaps giving that a try will help bring the Spirit and confirm to you sacred truths.....truths that lead to eternal life.:):)

[Gwen]

Over the past couple years I have been increasingly losing my testimony. I am 27, married in the temple, and have been living up to the standards. I just am not sure anymore if the church is the true church- my questioning actually started when I went to take out my endowments. It literally freaked me out but I held it all inside. Also, the more I learn about Joseph Smith and him marrying really young girls ...and marrying women who were already married to men seems quite bothersome. I have prayed for understanding and I keep getting the same feeling- uneasiness and a stupor of thought. I used to accept all the teachings without question-which I don't think is healthy now that I am looking back because now I am doubting and am actually stating to THINK about things. I also disagree immensly with the church's involvement in Prop 8 on sooooo many levels. I see most members, including my own family, becoming more and more dogmatic and judgmental- something the prophets have warned against. Does anyone else feel the same as me???

you may not be losing your testimony but rather gaining it. we are all converts, raised in the church or not. this is by no means the pattern for everyone's experience but one i hear a lot. if you look at the pattern of what most consider converts, they have lived a life without the gospel, good or bad they come to a point where they have a need, some trial, that causes them to realize they need some kind of greater understanding. in seeking that understanding they find the gospel. follows is the testimony and change of heart. some are able to make those changes faster or with more "ease" than others but they still must get there. that is the conversion process, the realization that you need god and his word. so how does that fit if you were raised in the gospel and you have always had god's word? do you know you need him? at some point you have to become converted. you have to know you need god and his word. not sure i know how else to do that but to have questions and trials. you may very well lose your testimony in the trials you are facing. but it may actually be your conversion that is taking place if you choose that route.

because you asked if anyone else has felt as you do..... a little about me. i was bic. been active in church my whole life. married at 20. unlike many i do feel i was very prepared to attend the temple and found it to be a very pleasant experience. today i'm 28, 6 kids; 5 are mine, one is a stepson. with the pregnancies of my first few i had some very hard trials. i also had some very strong and real spiritual experiances. however, these last few yrs have been very hard on me and my testimony. on more than one occassion i felt i was losing my testimony. i have questioned a lot of what i felt i knew so clearly. those very strong and real spiritual exeriances i had prior are what have carried me through, even if the church wasn't true i knew what i had personaly experianced, i couldn't deny those answers. no matter how much logic i've come up with or how distant i've felt from the spirit those experiances all point back to one truth. in all this i have learned to differentiate between the church, the gospel, and my faith. i find them to be 3 seperate things yet one in purpose. kinda like the godhead. lol they are intertwined. i'm still not where i think i ought to be or where i want to be. i still question a lot and my journy to conversion is far from complete. some days i still question one of the three. i don't really know when or where it will all land but i do feel more and more each day that i'm being lead to a real conversion of my own, that change of heart we must all receive.

i guess the only advise i have is figure out what you know, the things you will never let go of.. where do those point you? what do they mean to you? keep searching. don't give up till you know. oh and forget about what everyone else is doing, this is between you and the father. sort it out with him.

hope something in all that rambeling was helpful. lol

[RainofGold]

I converted to this church when I was 15, when I was 25 and married to a non-member I went to the temple to get my endowments. I have to admit that I was a little confused about everything and it just seem too much for me to process. But the spirit that I felt in the temple I've never felt anywhere else, and that's what kept me going back. After a few times of going to the temple I prayed for the spirit to guide me and to open my mind and heart to have a better understanding of the covenants that I was making. I've had some of the most powerful and spiritual experiences in the celestial room and had my prayers answered.

I know what it feels to "not" have a strong testimony of the BoM and Joseph Smith. For the longest time after I joined the church I would struggle with this. I remember always reaching for the bible for scripture study and not feeling anything when reading the BoM. It wasn't until I truly had the desire to learn about the BoM and the prophet Joseph Smith for myself and prayed to my Heavenly Father to let me know the truth that I gained my testimony and now I can say that I know without a doubt that the Book of Mormon is true and that it was given to Joseph Smith to translate and that Heavenly Father and His son did appeared to him.

You have being blessed with the gospel in your life and with a temple marriage, I hope that you find what you are looking for.

Take care,

Rain

[Misshalfway]

It is ok to question your testimony. It is ok to go thru periods of time when you are not sure. It is even ok to disagree with the Church. It is the Spirit we follow and the church itself is an earthly organization meaning that it isn't and won't have the perfection of the eternities. I am not even sure if "church" will be part of the Celestial Kingdom. But we support our church and its leaders in that imperfect walk and we sustain them as they sustain us as we walk the best walk we can.

The Temple itself is more ritualistic than other parts of our worship. Perhaps a study of the Old Testament and the practices associated with temple worship back then might help. Remember that it really isn't about the rituals so much as it is the purpose or lesson behind them. They are teaching tools that help to school us in our slow learnings and as we learn to discipline our lives and give our will to God.

Remember that true worship and real deep testimony isn't something that is done in our duty alone. It has more to do with the changes that happen in the very center of who we are and how those changes dictate what we do. I have recently gone thru a difficult period of years where I questioned every corner of this faith. I argued with it. I protested it. I plead to God for light and understanding and for direct answers to my discontented heart. And now I am more sure about this church than ever. I have learned that the light comes after the struggle thru the dark and that God doesn't always remove the struggle before he answers. I now do things in the church for completely different reasons than I did them before. I have also learned that whether I agree or disagree with something the church does is completely irrelevant to whether or not I will obey. When God says go to Nineva.....you go to Nineva... ..even when you don't want to because the people are hostile. You get what I am saying here???

It doesn't matter if you agree with the church on Prop 8. What is important is that your mind and will are in line with God's mind and will on the subject. If you lack wisdom on the subject, go to the Father of us all with your concerns and then vote your conscience ..... not your opinion. Sometimes we are led without the benefit of perfect vision and clear understanding.

Your worship of God.....your understanding of God is something only you can find for yourself. And I don't suppose you will get your testimony any differently or easier than the rest of us. Testimony is something that must sustain adversity and temptation and the deceptions of the devil for it to become strong and immoveable. Perhaps God is inviting you to that stronger place by taking the rug out from under you for a time.

Trust what you do know. Trust your inner self to discern truth. Trust that God is leading you by the hand as you place your faith and trust in His wisdom and in his directions.

Edited December 18, 2008 by Misshalfway

[Misshalfway]

Just one note about the judgmental nature of others. We live in confusing times. Our scriptures have warned us the evil will look good and good will look evil. These muddy waters are confusing and it is difficult for all of us to travel thru. We must....as the BofM teaches in the dream of the tree of Life.....to hold on to the rod for safety as the murky cloudy air blinds our vision for a time. I believe the issues surrounding gay marriage are just a small part of this full frontal satan assult on our senses. All the more reason to petition the Spirit for guidance as to where we should position ourselves. Love isn't tolerance. Tolerance isn't always connected to love. Judging practices as evil isn't the same as judging people. Both sides of the Prop 8 issue need to learn that.

If the people of the church seem judgmental to you.....hold your judgements of them in discipline. Take the position of "as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord" and move forward in compassion and true charity as you deal with your fellow man. Each of us have our own sinful struggle. Each of us need time and patience to work it all out and space to make mistakes and learn from them. Perhaps you see the weakness of another and object to it. Remember that seeing a weakness of another is sacred information and not for you to judge but for you to hold and then exericise your Christlike attributes such as patience and tolerance and long suffering.

[rameumptom]

If you read the Bible, you'll see all kinds of terrible things that God's prophets did. Moses and Joshua slew entire towns of people, including women and children. Samuel slew defenseless kings. The list goes on.

It isn't an issue of what we think about the things Joseph did. It is an issue of whether Joseph was called as a prophet of God. So, you first need to stop looking beyond the mark, as Jacob in the BoM warned about. Stop focusing on the non-doctrinal issues, such as Joseph's lifestyle. That is for God to worry about.

Instead, focus on the teachings and doctrines. Go back to the basics and Book of Mormon, study it, and pray about it.

As for the temple, it is strange. I remember my first time and how weird it seemed to me. Yet I have a testimony of it. It is strange because it is based on ancient ideas- and modern Americans do not understand symbolism and ancient things very well. The endowment prepares us, washing and anointing us to be "kings and priests unto God and his Father" (Rev 1:5-6), just as ancient priests and kings were washed in the Old Testament. The endowment then is a sacred rite that prepares us for the actual event when we enter into God's presence. Anciently, this was a very standard rite, where the people are guided through passages and rites, until they entered God's realm and presence. We see this in ancient Hebrew, Egyptian, and Babylonian rites, as well as those from many other ancient civilizations.

The ancient Christian writing, The Apocalypse of Paul, is very reminiscent of our endowment. Paul is led by a guide (the Holy Ghost) through levels of heaven. At one point, he is challenged and cannot go on. The Holy Ghost tells him to give the token he has. Upon giving it, Paul continues to the highest level of heaven and its blessings.

Many other ancient writings also suggest this. We even find endowment concepts in the Book of Mormon: 1 Ne 1, 1 Ne 8-15, 2 Ne 2, Alma 9-13, 3 Ne 11-12, etc.). Many members recognize the story of the Brother of Jared seeing the finger of God as an endowment experience.

One major point in the book of Mormon is the story of King Benjamin's great speech. It is reminiscent of ancient Year Rite ceremonies performed in the ancient middle east. Here, the king stands before the people and shows himself to be the symbol of God. In the ceremony, the king symbolically saves the people, and then binds them to himself as representative of binding them to God. They are bound to the king/God with a covenant, after which they receive a new name: in the case of Benjamin's people, the name of "children of Christ." All of these are elements that LDS recognize. Why? Because they are ancient and have been restored by Joseph Smith through our modern endowment.

[bytor2112]

The Temple was odd to me my first time as well. I glanced back at my wife during the endowment and she gave me a "look", I didn't glance back again. My Bishop and Stake President went with us and later that day were sealed. Our children were in the sealing room waiting for us, when we all came in, well, you can imagine their surprise.

I live 6 hours from the closest Temple, so, when I go it is for at least two days or longer and I attend from early morning until evening. I have found that being in the Temple all day for two or three days and participating in sealings and other ordinances as available has really made me love and understand the Temple so much better. I always try and remember that I am their on the Lord's errand and to help our deceased brethren.

[rameumptom]

I would add one more thing: our attitudes often determine how much of the Spirit and testimony God gives us. It is one thing to be unsure of our testimonies. It is another thing to accept ideas of the world (such as SSM) and judge the LDS standard from it, and then wonder why God isn't telling us anything.

The laws against same sex marriage are proscribed in the Bible. It warns about homosexual activity, and establishes marriage between man and woman - as God's purpose in this is not only to encourage intimacy in a relationship, but to create and nurture children - something that cannot occur in SSM.

God has his standard. Satan chooses to twist and warp that standard to his goals, and then feeds us the freedom line. People are free to choose their actions, but not the consequences to sin. And it is sin, regardless of whether all of Hollywood embraces it or not.

To gain a testimony of higher things, we must first determine in our minds that we will not proscribe nor circumscribe the will of God. We must go to God with an entirely open mind and heart, and allow Him to fill it as He pleases. If we go to him with restrictions, demands, creeds, or exceptions, then he will allow us to believe what we will. Why give us more light and truth, if we wouldn't believe it anyway?

Too many people today are wanting the gospel to be a buffet: pick and choose which portions you want. But it isn't a buffet. There are tables of food, and you must choose which table to sit at: celestial, terrestrial, or telestial. To sit at the celestial table, you must develop a taste for celestial foods. Otherwise, they will not be to your liking, and you will go to the other tables for a taste.

Clearly you are struggling. However, the first question is to determine not why Joseph did this or that, but what is your own personal stance on the clear commandments of God? Are you willing to follow God and His will anywhere? Or are you trying to have one foot in Zion and the other in Babylon/Hollywood? What are you doing to seek God's will, and not the will of the world? Just how effective are you in your prayers and scripture study? Obviously, you've spent time on some anti-Mormon lists, or talked to some anti-Mormons, because most members don't care about Joseph Smith's polygamy. The way they see it (and I do), is that if God ordered Joseph to do it, then he did it - even if it was something out of the ordinary. Or are you going to condemn Abraham for attempting to murder his son, or Moses for wiping out entire towns? It is the same thing, and you either take the whole celestial table of food, or you'll find your tastes elsewhere.

[Guest DeborahC]

I can relate.

I have a gay son, and it's difficult to see how he fits into the scheme of things.

Church members are human, and can be unkind.

Although I believe that each member has a right to follow the Church's teachings on Prop 8 if they care to, it horrifies me that the Church could be taking a political stance. To say the teachings of the church do not support Prop 8 is one thing, but to encourage people to vote one way or the other is NOT within the arena of what's acceptable to me. Dictating how a person votes their heart and agency in a private voting stall is way out of line, in my opinion.

I think it would be much more favorable to "love" every single person and to let God do the judging.

[Saguaro]

Over the past couple years I have been increasingly losing my testimony. I am 27, married in the temple, and have been living up to the standards. I just am not sure anymore if the church is the true church- my questioning actually started when I went to take out my endowments. It literally freaked me out but I held it all inside. Also, the more I learn about Joseph Smith and him marrying really young girls ...and marrying women who were already married to men seems quite bothersome. I have prayed for understanding and I keep getting the same feeling- uneasiness and a stupor of thought. I used to accept all the teachings without question-which I don't think is healthy now that I am looking back because now I am doubting and am actually stating to THINK about things. I also disagree immensly with the church's involvement in Prop 8 on sooooo many levels. I see most members, including my own family, becoming more and more dogmatic and judgmental- something the prophets have warned against. Does anyone else feel the same as me???

First, let me tell you that you are not alone, many people are going through the same thing you are or have gone through it. For my wife it started earlier this year when she found out about JS and his wives, and I too have started to learn more about our history and have looked at things with a more critical eye. Since then we have met many other people who have had similar doubts, but yet remain in the church. Doubting and thinking are natural and human, don't feel like you've done anything wrong, no one would have a testimony of anything if they never doubted, questioned, or thought about these things.

Regarding Joseph Smith, I know it's hard to swallow, especially if you've never learned of those things before. Many in the church try to explain it away as not being a big deal, or say that he was sealed to them after he died. Yet LDS historians (Compton, Bushman) have documented as many as 30 or more women that he was married to during his lifetime, some under age by today's standards, some already married. Joseph was convinced that that plural marriage was a commandment from God and he was doing the right thing. Maybe he was right, or maybe polygamy was just a big mistake that brought a lot of persecution upon the church for many years. What you have to decide is can you let that go, look past it, and still see Joseph as a Prophet? I for one can. Joseph did so many wonderful things and revealed so many great things, but he was also human, prone to make mistakes.

I too did not support Prop 8, here in Arizona we had a similar one, prop 102. We were asked to go door to door, make phone calls, etc., but I did not participate. The first presidency counseled us to support marriage, I believe the best way to support marriage is to make my marriage the best it can be for me, my wife and my kids, not force my idea of marriage on others through legislation. I did not speak out against the church or its actions, I quietly followed by conscience by not supporting prop 102 and voting as I saw fit, never has the church ever told us how to vote.

I'm not sure any of this will help you, but I do hope your testimony can be strengthened. But you may find that your testimony may never be exactly the way it was before, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. We often say "the Church is true", but true can mean something different to each person. You could also ask if the church is "good". There are a lot of good reasons to stay in the church even if you don't have a rock solid testimony of every doctrine.

[HiJolly]

Over the past couple years I have been increasingly losing my testimony. I am 27, married in the temple, and have been living up to the standards. I just am not sure anymore if the church is the true church- my questioning actually started when I went to take out my endowments. It literally freaked me out but I held it all inside. Also, the more I learn about Joseph Smith and him marrying really young girls ...and marrying women who were already married to men seems quite bothersome. I have prayed for understanding and I keep getting the same feeling- uneasiness and a stupor of thought. I used to accept all the teachings without question-which I don't think is healthy now that I am looking back because now I am doubting and am actually stating to THINK about things. I also disagree immensly with the church's involvement in Prop 8 on sooooo many levels. I see most members, including my own family, becoming more and more dogmatic and judgmental- something the prophets have warned against. Does anyone else feel the same as me???

It's good to think, but it can get a bit scary. If someone wants to learn the history of the church, I suggest they start NOT WITH THE INTERNET, but with Richard Bushman's excellent book Rough Stone Rolling -- who you listen to can make all the difference in the world.

Good luck, and believe in God. He will lead you right, if you are careful not to get down in the muck with the professional enemies of the Church. Another good source is LDS FAIR Apologetics Homepage .

HiJolly

[bytor2112]

It's good to think, but it can get a bit scary. If someone wants to learn the history of the church, I suggest they start NOT WITH THE INTERNET, but with Richard Bushman's excellent book Rough Stone Rolling -- who you listen to can make all the difference in the world.

Good luck, and believe in God. He will lead you right, if you are careful not to get down in the muck with the professional enemies of the Church. Another good source is LDS FAIR Apologetics Homepage .

HiJolly

I am about half way through Rough Stone Rolling........excellent!!

[bert10]

It is possible...to lose one's testimony if one loses contact with life.....for example you can begin to regain your testimony in the church...we can talk about J. Smith later and Jesus Christ later in this post.

Testimony of the Church:

Don't you know any of your Mom's and Dad's friends that are heavy smokers or drinkers and how are they doing today? We LDS knew things about smoking and alcohol etc over 170 years ago. Don't you have any friends that are drinking regularly and doing drugs today?

Temple stuff don't worry about it for now. It cannot do you any good if are about to lose your testimony.

There is much ado about finding Carbon dioxide on a planet from a nearby star...Well guess what? We knew this 170 years ago - that there are other planets in the Universe that not only has life but are inhabited by humans.

Joseph Smith and marriages. There is a difference between a marriage and a wedding. A marriage deals in ONESS and the Celestial Kingdom is about ONESS [Marriages] A man may be given by GOD more than one wife...But that does not necessisarily means obligation to being made intimate physically.

J. Smith was way before his time in many things...imagine asserting that he had scriptures written on metal plates? It was much later this was confirmed as we began to find scriptures written on metal plates.

As important as it is to have a testimony of the Church and that of J. Smith was a true prophet....none can compare to having a Testimony of Jesus Christ which is only given by the Spirit of Revelation as John taught us in Revelation.

Revelation 19:10 - And I fell at his feet to worship him. And he said unto me, See thou do it not: I am thy fellowservant, and of thy brethren that have the testimony of Jesus: worship God: for the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy.

If you receive this testimony...you will never be adrift again. For whenever you shall turn to the left hand [error] or the right hand [zealousness]...God shall be there...to say...this is the way keep on in this direction...

Every Cross roads in our life is representation of the Cross. Which we can continue to ascend upwards..or we lose or bearings and turn to the right or we shall turn to the left and a few actually chose to go downwards into perdition. In the book of Mormon the Mist came and many lost their hold on the Rod and became lost in the mist [confusions [errors/zealousness]

Isaiah 30:21 - And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left.

This way is called the way of Holiness by Isaiah and only the wayfaring man shall be able to walk it...and yes, even more than this.... the way is so easy to follow.....even a fool cannot err if he is listening to GOD in his heart.

Isaiah 35:8 - And an highway shall be there, and a way, and it shall be called The way of holiness; the unclean shall not pass over it; but it shall be for those: the wayfaring men, though fools, shall not err therein.

I hope this help. Find you the testimony of Jesus and the rest shall fall into place.

peace be unto you

bert10

Over the past couple years I have been increasingly losing my testimony. I am 27, married in the temple, and have been living up to the standards. I just am not sure anymore if the church is the true church- my questioning actually started when I went to take out my endowments. It literally freaked me out but I held it all inside. Also, the more I learn about Joseph Smith and him marrying really young girls ...and marrying women who were already married to men seems quite bothersome. I have prayed for understanding and I keep getting the same feeling- uneasiness and a stupor of thought. I used to accept all the teachings without question-which I don't think is healthy now that I am looking back because now I am doubting and am actually stating to THINK about things. I also disagree immensly with the church's involvement in Prop 8 on sooooo many levels. I see most members, including my own family, becoming more and more dogmatic and judgmental- something the prophets have warned against. Does anyone else feel the same as me???

Edited December 19, 2008 by bert10

[Prodigal_Son]

I like to compare this life to rowing a boat upstream. If you're not constantly moving those oars, the current is carrying you in the wrong direction.

I've been where you're at. I had different issues, but the same overall concern. And it stuck with me until there was some catalyst in my life that got me back into the scriptures, back onto solid ground.

Not sinning - going through the right and proper motions - is simply not enough to hold us at anchor. It's kind of like the proverbial "feeling alone in a crowded room". Until you find the inner capacity to affect some changes in your life and behaviors, that feeling isn't likely to go away.

I wish you the best, and would encourage you to NOT pass final judgment on these matters until you're in a more secure place. Be patient and WEARY THE LORD WITH YOUR PRAYERS.

Bruce R. McConkie once said, (paraphrasing) "All truth is being broadcast at all times." Thus, it's up to us to "tune in" - and then the reception will be crystal clear. God bless you.

[kona0197]

I also do not agree with the churches public stance on prop-8. It's a personal decision in my opinion and i'm a firm believer in leading with your actions and not your mouth. Thank goodness for us that our stance on prop-8 has nothing to do with our salvation, no?

It's not a personal choice. God made Adam and EVE. I believe homosexuality is a sin and a disease.