Friends

[Soul_Searcher]

When I started at uni I made really good friends with a girl. We had long chats in the car, got on so well, she was lovely I thought I had made a friends for life, we told each other everything about life, had so much in common etc.

Well, obviously there is a few of us who hang around together. My friend started getting friendly with this other girl, who I am friends with too. But then they started being a bit nasty to me and another girl-Ignoring us, walking off etc, meeting up and not telling us, declaring their love for each other on facebook (nauseating). Anyway, that eventually settled down and we were all friends again.

I text them both occasionally but they never respond. Through facebook I gather my original friend is going on holiday with the new friend and her family. I have never done anything to upset either of them so y they are acting this way. At the original friends wedding she and the new friend gave me these cold looks and when I walked over they would stop talking.

Why do girls act like this? Its like the new friend has turned her against me, she is very hard. This is not the first time this has happened to me. Shall I give up texting them? Bearing in mind we wont see each other now till September.

I know I should give up but I think they could turn on me and say, well u didnt text etc...if I keep in contact as least I am ok, if you know what I mean.

I wonder if it is something in my personality that makes my friends act this way towards me. This is about the 4th time this has happened in my life. :(

Edited June 21, 2009 by Soul_Searcher

[Maureen]

Soul_Searcher, this is baffling. This type of conduct usually happens in junior high (12-14 years old), but you'd think by the time a person hits University she would have grown up and matured. I have no idea why some people act this way. You could be straightforward and ask in person (not text), each girl individually what has happened; but in their immaturity they may just ignore you. Believe it or not, there are mature girls out there that are decent, polite and respectful. Don't settle, if they can't give you an answer or be respectful to you, don't give them the time of day. You don't deserve this kind of treatment.

M.

[Dr T]

Sorry to read that SS

[Soul_Searcher]

I know Maureen, me and my other friend have said the same thing, its like being back at SCHOOL. I did confront my friend about it the first time round and she apologized and said Oh Ive got a lot on at the minute thats why I've been 'distant'. I dont think she will get it, and Im reluctant to confront the situation further in case it turns nasty which I could see happening. I know they are not worth my friendship, but its sad when I thought I had a friend for life and told a lot of personal stuff to.

The good side is that I have made good friends with this other girl, who is younger than all of us but the most mature. She's kind and loving, and I know she would never do anything like this. I'll stick with her

[talisyn]

Good choice. You never have to settle. Sometimes even being alone is better than being with frenemies.

[StrawberryFields]

When I started at uni I made really good friends with a girl. We had long chats in the car, got on so well, she was lovely I thought I had made a friends for life, we told each other everything about life, had so much in common etc.

Well, obviously there is a few of us who hang around together. My friend started getting friendly with this other girl, who I am friends with too. But then they started being a bit nasty to me and another girl-Ignoring us, walking off etc, meeting up and not telling us, declaring their love for each other on facebook (nauseating). Anyway, that eventually settled down and we were all friends again.

I text them both occasionally but they never respond. Through facebook I gather my original friend is going on holiday with the new friend and her family. I have never done anything to upset either of them so y they are acting this way. At the original friends wedding she and the new friend gave me these cold looks and when I walked over they would stop talking.

Why do girls act like this? Its like the new friend has turned her against me, she is very hard. This is not the first time this has happened to me. Shall I give up texting them? Bearing in mind we wont see each other now till September.

I know I should give up but I think they could turn on me and say, well u didnt text etc...if I keep in contact as least I am ok, if you know what I mean.

I wonder if it is something in my personality that makes my friends act this way towards me. This is about the 4th time this has happened in my life. :(

This post had me really confused. I have been away for awhile but it didn't sound like Soulsearcher I know, well it isn't this is Soul_Searcher.

You are on the right track Soul_Searcher go with the friends who treat you right. :)

[Hemidakota]

When I started at uni I made really good friends with a girl. We had long chats in the car, got on so well, she was lovely I thought I had made a friends for life, we told each other everything about life, had so much in common etc.

Well, obviously there is a few of us who hang around together. My friend started getting friendly with this other girl, who I am friends with too. But then they started being a bit nasty to me and another girl-Ignoring us, walking off etc, meeting up and not telling us, declaring their love for each other on facebook (nauseating). Anyway, that eventually settled down and we were all friends again.

I text them both occasionally but they never respond. Through facebook I gather my original friend is going on holiday with the new friend and her family. I have never done anything to upset either of them so y they are acting this way. At the original friends wedding she and the new friend gave me these cold looks and when I walked over they would stop talking.

Why do girls act like this? Its like the new friend has turned her against me, she is very hard. This is not the first time this has happened to me. Shall I give up texting them? Bearing in mind we wont see each other now till September.

I know I should give up but I think they could turn on me and say, well u didnt text etc...if I keep in contact as least I am ok, if you know what I mean.

I wonder if it is something in my personality that makes my friends act this way towards me. This is about the 4th time this has happened in my life. :(

What is the definition of a true friend?

[Heavenguard]

I'm sorry about your situation, Soul_Searcher, it sounds real crummy.

I guess there are two things about friends in life.

The first is sometimes your close friend will become closer friends with someone else new. It might be that their personalities click better, have more similar interests, etc. I've thought about this too, as I've unwittingly "stolen" someone's friend at church myself, but when I think about it, the original pair of friends are so different. On the other hand, "stolen" friend and I have common interests, professions, and even taste in clothing. It's just natural that we do things together, because we like doing the same things, understand things the same way, etc.

The second point is that sometimes people ... they're just jerks. I hate to say it, but it may even be that part of their bonding together as friends may have been over saying unkind things about you.

This is not a reflection on you. They are the ones who have been undeservingly mean and exclusive. You were even willing to reach out, but they backed off. I'm sorry for your loss, Soul_Searcher, but you wouldn't want friends like them anyhow. If they were to "accept" you again, who knows how long till they do something like that again? You seem like a real genuine lady who unfortunately fell into a lot of fair-weathered friends.

[Soul_Searcher]

Ah thanks heavenguard. It just makes you question whether it is you as its happened before. I think I am too trusting.

My husband is my best friend anyway :)