Soliciting Priesthood Blessings?

[Janice]

I have an opinion question for everyone...

What do you think of being asked if you would like a blessing? Reason why I ask... my mother is constantly volunteering my father to give people blessings. Just about every time someone suggests a little bit of a trial or struggle, she says, "Have you asked for a blessing? Fred! Come here! This person would like a blessing!"

(Fred being my father.)

Every time she does this I cringe. When she does it to me I downright bristle. It's not that I don't like blessings or don't believe in them. I do! It's just that if I want a blessing I will ASK for one. And I don't think I would ever yank my hubby out of a crowd and pronounce, "Sister so-and-so would like a blessing" when sister so-and-so never said any such thing.

I can tell I'm not alone in this. I'd say most of the time she does this, it's not just me who cringes, but my father and the person upon whom she's imposing a blessing. I know in the past it has caused some over-sensitive types to take offense.

Am I being over sensitive? Should I say something? What would you do? Do you known others who are blessing solicitors? Do you feel it's appropriate? Inappropriate?

Curious to hear your thoughts.

Janice

[pam]

I think the person who she thinks needs a blessing needs to ask for it. Part of a blessing is the faith of the person receiving the blessing. Perhaps she needs to take a different approach. "Hey if you need a blessing, my husband is available." Then leave it at that. That gives the person the opportunity to accept or not. To take up the offer or not. It's not for anyone else to decide a person needs a blessing. Unless that person is incapacitated to ask for one.

I'll use my dad as an example. He was on life support and we requested as family to have his best friend give him a blessing. I think my dad would have liked one but was unable to ask himself.

Edited July 28, 2009 by pam

[BenRaines]

I agree. Blessings are asked for by the person needing or as Pam has stated for an immediate family members request due to inability. A baby can't ask but person responsible for baby can.

Ben Raines

[beefche]

I think the way you presented the scenario is not the way to suggest a blessing. I agree that the person should ask for one.

However, there are times when people are hesitant to ask for various reasons. Some believe they aren't worthy, don't want to trouble the priesthood holder, thinks they don't need it, etc.

In a case like that, then someone close to the person needs to lovingly help them understand the purpose and blessings of a blessing. I had a situation where I was sick, my HT asked me if I wanted a blessing, I made excuses of not needing one, and my HT taught me a great lesson about blessings. He did it in a loving, instructional manner. I learned from that when to ask blessings.

So, if you decide to talk to your mom yourself about this, pray for guidance from the Spirit. I'm thinking your mom has the best intentions, but the manner in which she is doing it needs help. I'm sure it'll be easy to hurt her feelings for her good intentions, so I think the scripture of correcting someone and showing forth an abundance of love would be needed here.

[sixpacktr]

We are not to solicit blessings. We studied this in our PH meeting this last week, and we just aren't to do it.

That being said, however, there will be times when we are moved upon by the Spirit to gently ask someone if they would like one. Not loudly, not in a 'look at me' type of persona, but quietly, in a humble way. And I think those times are very, very rare. I have had that opportunity, only once in my life, where I felt prompted to ask a brother if he wished to have a blessing. As I was sitting on the stand looking out over the congregation, I could see pain there, and just felt prompted to do so. Even then, I fought it because I knew we just don't do that. But the Spirit confirmed that in this instance it was right to do so. And it was a sweet experience, and brought much comfort to him.

So the Spirit should guide, as in all things. But, PH holders shouldn't solicit. And DEFINITELY not their wives! :)

[Seanette]

I've been known to offer a suggestion to someone who seemed in need that he/she should consider requesting a blessing, but would not make that request for that person (unless he/she was incapacitated AND within my stewardship).

[Justice]

I think it shows concern and faith to suggest to someone that they have a blessing.

I don't really think it matters what prompts a blessing, if the person who receives it doesn't agree to it then it won't happen.

I've had people ask me if they could give me a blessing before. A lot of good came from it.

[prospectmom]

And DEFINITELY not their wives!

So sixpacter... you do not think we as women can discern that a fellow member needs a blessing???? You do not think we should even suggest it to someone in distress???? HMMMMMMM I know I do not agree with you on this one. I know we as women are at times ( most of the time) more sensitive and in tune with what is going on . We are the nurturers after all so what is your beef with this????

[Seanette]

Uh, deep breath here?

I don't think anyone thinks it's wrong to say to a friend or relative who's having some difficulty "have you asked for a blessing?" or "maybe you should get a blessing". The problem comes when someone who does not have stewardship over the person in need says "you're getting a blessing" in violation of that person's agency to choose to make the request for himself/herself.

[MarginOfError]

We are not to solicit blessings. We studied this in our PH meeting this last week, and we just aren't to do it.

That being said, however, there will be times when we are moved upon by the Spirit to gently ask someone if they would like one. Not loudly, not in a 'look at me' type of persona, but quietly, in a humble way. And I think those times are very, very rare. I have had that opportunity, only once in my life, where I felt prompted to ask a brother if he wished to have a blessing. As I was sitting on the stand looking out over the congregation, I could see pain there, and just felt prompted to do so. Even then, I fought it because I knew we just don't do that. But the Spirit confirmed that in this instance it was right to do so. And it was a sweet experience, and brought much comfort to him.

So the Spirit should guide, as in all things. But, PH holders shouldn't solicit. And DEFINITELY not their wives! :)

And DEFINITELY not their wives!

So sixpacter... you do not think we as women can discern that a fellow member needs a blessing???? You do not think we should even suggest it to someone in distress???? HMMMMMMM I know I do not agree with you on this one. I know we as women are at times ( most of the time) more sensitive and in tune with what is going on . We are the nurturers after all so what is your beef with this????

I don't think that is what sixpack was trying to communicate. I think the notion was that Priesthood holders should not be approaching people and seeking opportunity to perform ordinances that are supposed to be performed at a person's request and by that person's faith. If it is inappropriate for the person who holds the Priesthood to solicit the ordinance, then it would seem at least as equally inappropriate for the wife to do it.

Quite contrary to what you understood from sixpack, I think it's very important that sisters are able to teach about priesthood and help others understand when it is appropriate to ask for one. For instance, if a sister is doing her visiting teaching and feels a woman could use a blessing, but hasn't asked for one, perhaps that sister should teach the woman about the priesthood and how it can bless our lives.

Just as it would be inappropriate for a priesthood holder to say, "May I give you a blessing?" it is inappropriate for his wife to say, "I'll call my husband and he'll come give you a blessing." On the other hand, just as it is appropriate for a priesthood holder to say, "if you feel you need a blessing, I'm willing to provide that." his wife may suggest to someone, "If you ask my husband, I'm sure he'd be willing to come give you a blessing." But really, the thing that sets the two scenarios apart is whether the principles and purpose of the priesthood are understood.

[prospectmom]

Just as it would be inappropriate for a priesthood holder to say, "May I give you a blessing?" it is inappropriate for his wife to say, "I'll call my husband and he'll come give you a blessing." On the other hand, just as it is appropriate for a priesthood holder to say, "if you feel you need a blessing, I'm willing to provide that." his wife may suggest to someone, "If you ask my husband, I'm sure he'd be willing to come give you a blessing." But really, the thing that sets the two scenarios apart is whether the principles and purpose of the priesthood are understood.

__________________

Well done margin explained so well...... I wish all had you skill

[Snow]

I have an opinion question for everyone...

What do you think of being asked if you would like a blessing? Reason why I ask... my mother is constantly volunteering my father to give people blessings. Just about every time someone suggests a little bit of a trial or struggle, she says, "Have you asked for a blessing? Fred! Come here! This person would like a blessing!"

(Fred being my father.)

Every time she does this I cringe. When she does it to me I downright bristle. It's not that I don't like blessings or don't believe in them. I do! It's just that if I want a blessing I will ASK for one. And I don't think I would ever yank my hubby out of a crowd and pronounce, "Sister so-and-so would like a blessing" when sister so-and-so never said any such thing.

I can tell I'm not alone in this. I'd say most of the time she does this, it's not just me who cringes, but my father and the person upon whom she's imposing a blessing. I know in the past it has caused some over-sensitive types to take offense.

Am I being over sensitive? Should I say something? What would you do? Do you known others who are blessing solicitors? Do you feel it's appropriate? Inappropriate?

Curious to hear your thoughts.

Janice

Have you had her labs checked lately?

Sounds like her potassium is out of whack.

[pam]

Snow be nice. You might actually find out you like it.

[Snow]

Snow be nice. You might actually find out you like it.

I suppose it could be the creatinine instead???

[pam]

Must we discuss something that would be rid of by bodily functions? Don't make me get out my razor blades and bottle of gin again.

[deseretgov]

Blessing require the faith of those receiving, giving, and present for the blessing. Volunteering someone to give a blessing doesn't allow the person who is sick or injured to have faith and request one. If you just went around asking people if they would like a blessing chances are very few(members) would say no, regardless if they had faith or not.

So for me, even if I think about giving someone a blessing I won't do it unless they ask for it.

[Justice]

I know we as women are at times ( most of the time) more sensitive and in tune with what is going on.

I couldn't agree more with this. You didn't say it but I will, and women are generally more sensitive and in tune with the Spirit.

I'm not trying to earn brownie points, and my wife doesn't read this forum... I just happen to agree.

As with most things we do, there is a right way and a wrong way. If anyone thinks women should not suggest to someone they have a blessing, or mention to a Priesthood holder than someone is in need of a blessing, they have probably witnessed it done the wrong way. From my experience that is generally not the case, however. Women usually use the Priesthood of those who preside with grace and humility. As a member of a Branch Presidency, it was more enjoyable to watch how women led their organizations... with love and patience. Men usually rely more on procedure and goals.

It's natural that women lead Relief Society and Young Women. It is inspired that women lead Primary... IMO.

[Justice]

Blessing require the faith of those receiving, giving, and present for the blessing. Volunteering someone to give a blessing doesn't allow the person who is sick or injured to have faith and request one. If you just went around asking people if they would like a blessing chances are very few(members) would say no, regardless if they had faith or not.

So for me, even if I think about giving someone a blessing I won't do it unless they ask for it.

What you say has truth in it. But, remember that Christ healed people both ways. Many came to Him and asked Him to be healed. Also, He healed many who were brought to Him by another, or He approached some and asked if they wanted to be healed.

From my experience, just because a person doesn't ask doesn't mean they don't want to be healed, nor does it mean they lack faith. Also, just because someone asks for a blessing does not mean they should be healed.

I don't think it does any harm to ask someone if they need a blessing. As I said, I have been asked before and I was glad I was. I knew I wasn't feeling my best, but did not think to ask for a blessing regarding my condition.

Now, if a person is asking several people every week if they would like a blessing, as is being alluded to, that's probably the wrong way. But, if the spirit prompts you through your love and concern that someone needs a blessing, it is the right thing help it happen.

[sixpacktr]

And DEFINITELY not their wives!

So sixpacter... you do not think we as women can discern that a fellow member needs a blessing???? You do not think we should even suggest it to someone in distress???? HMMMMMMM I know I do not agree with you on this one. I know we as women are at times ( most of the time) more sensitive and in tune with what is going on . We are the nurturers after all so what is your beef with this????

Ummm, no beef. If you had read the original post, it almost seemed like the sister was setting up shop in the foyer (or, if we go by nearly every Mormon church I've been in, the chapel) and nearly hawking for her husband to give blessings out. Hence my phrase 'and definitely not their wives!'.

And again, read the tone of my note as well. Was there any semblance of my slamming women in there? NO, there wasn't. Instead I said that blessings should not be solicited, period, but that there are RARE cases when the spirit touches you and says to the PH to ask the person 'would you like a blessing?'

Never insinuated that someone, who, in quiet conversation with someone else, not suggest to them that they not seek a blessing. But to have a wife go around to people and then calling over to her husband 'hey, so and so needs a blessing and I volunteered you' is not right.

So get your undies or garments or whatever out of the wad you've twisted them in and quit looking for reasons to be offended. My gosh, life is too short and it wastes too much of your energy.

And Margin, thank you for understanding what I was saying and explaining it for me to the board. I guess I never realized how touchy some of the sisters on this board are.

Oh, yeah, yes I did. I just have been away for so long I forgot...

[prospectmom]

So get your undies or garments or whatever out of the wad you've twisted them in and quit looking for reasons to be offended. My gosh, life is too short and it wastes too much of your energy.

Took no effort at all and thanks to Margin I do understand what you said sompletly . Besides the way you wrote it opened you up for such a response and I was happy to ablidge so it took no effort to respond and if you read the op and interpreted it differently good for you. I took it as a daughter uncomfortable with her mothers actions. Her mother's fault seems to me to be she is overzealous in her conviction about the importance and benifits of a blessing. She means no malace and honestly it is a matter for her Bishop to speak to her about, also her husband. I do not think it is her daughter's place as it might be interpreted wrong and hurt feelings may result. Sure she shouldn't be doing it how she is but her intentions seem honest , I think it could be handles in a positive and supportive way acknowledging the womans intentions and encouraging her ........

Not touchy at all your words were clear-----

Edited July 29, 2009 by prospectmom

[Guest dec2057]

Your mum is kind hearted and means well. Perhaps a better approach may be to quietly and gently ask if the person has asked for a blessing. If they say no, but that they would like one, then she may suggest their home teachers or her husband, but pushing a blessing on anyone is not a good idea.

[Guest Believer_1829]

I believe it is entirely appropriate to ask someone if they would like a blessing if they are telling us about a situation in which a blessings would be beneficial. Many people might not ask because they feel like they are imposing, but will gladly accept if the offer is made. It appears the problem with the OP's mother is she asks and then barges right ahead, volunteering her husband's services, before receiving an answer.

[drjackcv]

We are not to solicit blessings. We studied this in our PH meeting this last week, and we just aren't to do it.

That being said, however, there will be times when we are moved upon by the Spirit to gently ask someone if they would like one. Not loudly, not in a 'look at me' type of persona, but quietly, in a humble way. And I think those times are very, very rare. I have had that opportunity, only once in my life, where I felt prompted to ask a brother if he wished to have a blessing. As I was sitting on the stand looking out over the congregation, I could see pain there, and just felt prompted to do so. Even then, I fought it because I knew we just don't do that. But the Spirit confirmed that in this instance it was right to do so. And it was a sweet experience, and brought much comfort to him.

So the Spirit should guide, as in all things. But, PH holders shouldn't solicit. And DEFINITELY not their wives! :)

One of the counsellors in our stake presidency last week was down and counselled the Melchizedek Priesthood brethren in general session that we are living beneath our privileges if we don't offer blessings to people.

There was significant tension in the room, and some gentle requests for clarification. Unfortunately, time ran out before the issue was resolved.

I'm pretty sure that what you said is what he meant, but what came over is that we should be asking people if they want blessings, when moved upon by the Spirit, on a fairly frequent basis. Conversations with other stake and local leaders since have made it clear to me that this is their interpretation, and they are prepared to solicit the opportunity to give blessings rather frequently as a result of this counsel.

The Handbook 20.6.1 says,

"Brethren should administer to the sick at the request of the sick person or of those who are vitally concerned so the blessing will be according to their faith. (see D&C 24:13-14; 42:43-44, 48-52). Melchizedek Priesthood holders who visit hospitals should not solicit opportunities to administer to the sick."

20.8.3 says

"Melchizedek Priesthood holders may also give blessings of comfort and counsel to other family members and to others who ask for them." [emphasis mine.]

It seems clear that the past and current rule of the Church is explicit: we do not normally offer, solicit or volunteer blessings. Inspired exceptions have historically been, and I expect will continue to be very rare.

I can only recall two instances wherein the Savior Himself volunteered blessings unasked: one at the pool of Bethesda, and later blessing the children in 3 Ne 17:5-21. The event in 3 Nephi is really arguable (see v. 5, 8, & 20.) Is there any reason to suppose that our inspiration will be significantly more frequent than the Master's? I anticipate rather the opposite, and don't expect to be so inspired more than 1-4 times in my entire life.

We are not living beneath our privileges if we follow the Savior's example, and I don't think our stake president's counsellor was suggesting that we are.

Now, if the soliciting mom is sensitive to the needs of others, then her husband must need and approve of this sort of off-policy recognition. If she is not, then it brings C.S. Lewis's comment to mind:

“She's the sort of woman who lives for others - you can tell the others by their hunted expression.”

Happily, nobody every said good sense or correct doctrine never faileth.

[Jezebel2011]

From first joining the Church, if I wasn't feeling well but at Church, one of the Stake presidency would suggest having a Blessing. When I agreed she went and found my Home Teachers and got them to do it.

Now I just ask when I feel I need one done.

The very fact that someone sits down on the chair in order to have the Blessing done is agreeing to it being done, so I can't see any problem in someone else asking for that Blessing on the Member's behalf.

[drjackcv]

Jezebel2011's experience illustrates a principle that I have learned as a temple ordinance worker: God and His Church lovingly give us wide latitude in our obedience to clear policy -- but there is no better way than the way God lays out -- the strait and narrow.

The most expedient way to obtain the greatest benefit from priesthood blessings is by doing it the Lord's way in every particular. In order to stay on the blessed strait and narrow, one has to frequently appear narrow-minded.