Proper attire for Sunday meetings

[funkenheimer]

My brother and I had a rather lengthy discussion last night regarding what is proper attire for church on Sunday.

It started when we met at my mom's house for Sunday dinner. He was dressed in a nice polo style shirt and khacki pants. I commented on how nice he looked. My brother works in the construction industry and I rarely see him in a clean shirt, let alone one that is wrinkle free and has a collar. He said he didn't have time to change after their Sunday meetings, theirs are later than ours. I asked him why he didn't wear a tie and the conversation went down hill from there.

I realize this is probably no big deal, but what is considered proper attire for men in the church? I almost always wear a suit or sport coat, and on the rare occasions I don't wear a suit or sport coat, I wear a button down shirt and tie at the very least. I don't really see this as a cost issue as these can be obtained for a very reasonable price now days.

Your thoughts......

[Wingnut]

While this discussion is oriented more toward female attire, there is some conversation in it regarding attitude and intent, which crosses gender barriers. Read here: http://www.lds.net/forums/general-discussion/23983-ladies-yw-wearing-pants-church.html

[lattelady]

My immediate thought on this is, it sounds judgemental. I think there can be people sitting in church in three-piece suits and dresses from Macy's that "look" great, but their hearts are FAR from spiritual. It says in 1 Samuel 16:7 "But the Lord said to Samuel, 'Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not a s man sees, for man looks at the outward appearane, but the Lord looks at the heart." I do believe there are some who truly want to dress in a a way that they believe is offering their BEST to God. If that's the motivation of their heart, that's an honorable thing. But because so many people judge the outward appearance, many have used that to hide behind! Even down to makup and a smile! Haven't you ever looked at another woman, ladies, and thought, "Look at her: she always looks so pretty and so happy; she must have it all together--she'd never understand how much crud I'm going through." It can be deceptive. I would just caution all of us, including myself, not to judge others on the basis of what they're wearing--let each man/woman decide before the Lord what is honorable to wear to church.

[Guest Believer_1829]

I think it is rather funny you thought how "nice he looked", until you found out he wore it to church, then it became below standard attire. Are you really THAT concerned about a tie?

When did the business suit of babylon become the proper attire for church, anyways?

[pam]

I think this thread is about what is the proper attire for men to wear to Church. Hopefully the link Wingers provided will help answer some of those questions.

I find it ironic when it's pointed out that someone is being judgemental they don't think they are also judging as well.

How about we leave the comments about being judgmental out and answer his question. The OP already pointed out when he made a comment that the conversation went down hill. That's what happens to these threads as well.

JMHO

[Guest Believer_1829]

Fine...

Whatever is clean and looks nice is proper attire for church. I would avoid the t-shirt and shorts route.

[lattelady]

I read at the end of funkenheimer's post an invitation to share one's thoughts--that's all I was doing. I personally feel that it's judgemental to take a look at another's clothing a deem it incorrect for the chapel, when to the person wearing it, it was appropriate. And in saying that, I felt that I was answering his question. The only reason that a thread like this would go downhill is if someone would fail to recognize that I was cautioning MYSELF, as well, to let others decide before God what is pleasing to Him. I've been guilty of that.

[mlbrowninwa]

In sacrament meeting yesterday, one of the speakers was talking about how to keep the sabbath day holy. During part of the talk he brought up dressing properly at church and how we are expected to dress in the best. However, he never really stated what that was. I have always worn a button down shirt and tie to church, and often wear a suit. That comes from my upbringing. My father always instructed us that we should dress our best when attending church, and I do not come from an LDS family. That being said, I don't think that it's really necessary to wear a suit and tie either. I don't think there is anything wrong with a nice polo and khakis. There are people that go to my ward that I know that is the best they have. We are there to worship God and help spread the gospel to all. I CHOOSE to wear a tie or a suit each Sunday, and will not think less of someone who does not. I welcome all that come each Sunday, and I think my ward does a great job of doing the same. We need to think more like Jesus would. Would he walk away from someone because they didn't have a tie on??? I think not.

[sixpacktr]

The uniform of the PH is a white shirt and tie. The Brethren have stated this time and again, and yet it seems that this discussion happens every 6-8 weeks. The sisters should dress as they would if they were in the presence of the Savior. That means a dress.

Too often we dress as we want because WE will be comfortable. And yes, there is no stipulation in the CHoI because this is a worldwide church, and there are lot of poorer people throughout the world that cannot afford even that. Yet I find it interesting in reading articles that such and such a young man in some 3rd world country, in reading that the Lord's anointed wear white shirts and ties go out of their way to look the part, and yet here in the States we constantly have people B&M about how 'the Lord looks on the heart and not on what I wear' and throw out the lame excuse that dressing up somehow is being vain. Sorry, but I agree that what is in your heart will be reflected in your dress. If you are casual in your approach to the Lord, it will show.

Why would anyone want to 'short' the Lord in what is his due?

Edited August 17, 2009 by sixpacktr

[hordak]

The uniform of the PH is a white shirt and tie. The Brethren have stated this time and again, and yet it seems that this discussion happens every 6-8 weeks. The sisters should dress as they would if they were in the presence of the Savior. That means a dress.

Too often we dress as we want because WE will be comfortable. And yes, there is no stipulation in the CHoI because this is a worldwide church, and there are lot of poorer people throughout the world that cannot afford even that. Yet I find it interesting in reading articles that such and such a young man in some 3rd world country, in reading that the Lord's anointed wear white shirts and ties go out of their way to look the part, and yet here in the States we constantly have people B&M about how 'the Lord looks on the heart and not on what I wear' and throw out the lame excuse that dressing up somehow is being vain. Sorry, but I agree that what is in your heart will be reflected in your dress. If you are casual in your approach to the Lord, it will show.

Why would anyone want to 'short' the Lord in what is his due?

Scratch that

Edited August 17, 2009 by hordak

[pam]

I think he is referring to scriptures that state fine apparel etc is being vain. Not that the words of the Lord are a lame excuse. Using one scripture to counter another.

Or even that one might perceive if someone dresses up they are being vain.

[hordak]

I think he is referring to scriptures that state fine apparel etc is being vain. Not that the words of the Lord are a lame excuse. Using one scripture to counter another.

Or even that one might perceive if someone dresses up they are being vain.

Just caught that

[lattelady]

"The sisters should dress as they would if they were in the presence of the Savior. That means a dress." Where did Christ say in the Holy Scriptures that 'when you are in My presence, wear a dress?' This is a law of man, not of God. I don't believe, nor have I ever said that dressing up is being vain. I do believe that there can be so much emphasis put on how we look that we ignore what's going on in our hearts: (i.e. judging others, pride, etc.)

[sixpacktr]

If you read through my comment, you see that my point is that the Lord DOES look on the heart, and that that is reflected in what we wear. The 'lame excuse' part is that people will twist the Lord's words to fit their own comfort zone so that they don't feel guilty (God knows I love him, I just don't like to wear a white shirt and tie, and jeans are just more comfortable...). I don't know how often I've heard from those that justify their 'non-dressing up' by stating that others just dress up but they are basically hypocritical evil people. Somehow, though, it never occurs that the person that chooses to not dress up (and let's remember, this is a CHOICE in this country) that they are in fact judging people by what they wear. Somehow, that person that dresses up is a hypocrite, probably cheats on his wife and steals food from poor kids' tables, that kind of tripe.

And, sorry, the Brethren are 'dead on'. They are Christ's representatives on the earth, so we should listen when they speak.

[Danite]

Well folks I guess It depends I don't always wear my very best suit but I always wear a white shirt and tie at least and dress pants and shoes. In some of my callings a suit and white shirt was what we were instructed to wear. I think you should wear some best or nicest clothes you own . Some folks can't afford expensive clothes and they should wear the nicest clothes they own,also some converts and investigators don't understand that this is a form worship and reverence we show tolds the Savior and his church. Seasoned members should be aware of this. So it depends on why your wearing the cloths. We can't always judge righteously in these matters.

[hordak]

This whole thing is a "sore spot" for me. My mother was one of the ladies who was looked down upon due to her Sunday dress. What people saw on sunday was her tacky sequined sweaters , stirrup pants, and her wardrobe that hadn't been updated since the 70s.

What they didn't see is that all the extra (not much) income the family had was used to take her children out for picnicks, used for gas to shuttle anyone who needed a ride. She wouldn't buy things for herself to "look the part" when there were family and friends in need.

They didn't see that when her kids went off to school instead of working she would walk 2 miles (in michigan winters) up to the school house to help lead a blind boy around during his lunch and recess, in between making zerox copies for the teachers simply because it needed to be done.

She knew the lord looks at the heart. She lived it. If she had been Catholic, instead of LDS she could have been made a saint.

Point is dressing up isn't bad or good. Like just about everything in life it is not the what, but the why that makes something good or bad. And while we have the ability to see the what, we do not know the why. The lord does. And that is all that matters.

[pam]

Sounds like you have a great mom Hordak.

[beefche]

Hordak, the fault lies with the other people who judged your mother. When did the Lord or even the general authorities of the church ever say that when you see another who is not dressed in "Sunday best" that they should be judged and confronted? When did they give each of us the ability to judge Sunday best for another person?

If one asks for my opinion, it seems as if others begin attacking me for my opinion. It happened on the other thread and now it's happening again (and BTW, it started to happen on another forum where we discussed the same thing). For whatever reason, church clothing is one volatile subject!

Look people. No matter what is said someone is going to be judged as judgmental. I can offer my opinion on the matter and be told that I'm unrighteous and evil because I judge another, when all I said was "I believe one should wear ______."

So, let's do everyone a favor--let people express their opinions and each of withhold judgement for those in position to judge (I believe that would be individual bishops and stake leaders, but I seriously doubt they are going to get involved in whether wearing a dress or tie to church is deemed worthy of their time).

[sixpacktr]

Hordak,

If there were people that looked down on your saintly mother, then that is their problem. And people like your mother are NOT the ones I refer to in my diatribes (yes, I know I come across rather harshly at times).

My point is that there are people that are not dressing their best because they don't feel it is necessary. We know that the 'seasoning' (thanks for that Danite) that comes with time in the church causes us to change from within because we want to (as Pres Benson put it: the world seeks to take the man out of the ghetto, the Gospel takes the ghetto out of the man). And yes, we are not to judge. But too often those that come here complaining about how they are being looked down on COULD do better, but somehow choose not to. Only a complete cad would look down on those that cannot afford better, and the Savior tells in many different instances of the consequences of such actions.

But I don't back off of my original point: there are too many that are too casual in their approach to our HF and Jesus, and it shows in how they dress. They do it because THEY want to be comfortable, and, IMO, because of some pride in that they don't want to approach the Lord in a manner pleasing unto him, but pleasing unto them.

Ask me how I know all of this. It took me many years to realize that my outward appearance was a reflection of my inward feelings. I had to learn obedience in order to truly feel the Spirit....

[hordak]

http://thm-a02.yimg.com/image/833b58633fa309dc Capone

http://thm-a03.yimg.com/image/94e1586f81cd8c44Gahndi

http://thm-a03.yimg.com/image/ce01a44cd87f02a6Mother Teresa

http://thm-a01.yimg.com/image/5605907eb7a21f12Dutch Schultz

http://thm-a03.yimg.com/image/3a03b52777167cc8Berny Madolf

Clothes do NOT reflect the heart.

[funkenheimer]

First of all I was not judging my brother, nor was I THAT concerned. I am just glad he takes his family to church every week.

This was more out of curiosity than anything.

I think I tend to agree more with sixpacktr.

I have always felt that your appearance is an outward expression of what is on the inside. I realize this is not always the case and does not apply to those who don't alot of money. Though I too have also noticed how those who have the least often make the greatest efforts to comply with all church policies and practices.

My brother does not fall into that category. He has a suit and tie and plenty of button down shirts.

As a side note - there were 18 elders in elder's quorum meeting yesterday in my ward and all of them had button down shirts (mostly white shirts) and ties and about half wore suits/sport coats.

[pam]

Okay not to change the subject..but having your avatar listed directly above the pictures you showed..I'd have to say your clothing doesn't reflect your heart either. hahaha

That was to hordak..Funkeheimer was too quick to post before I got mine up.

Edited August 17, 2009 by pam

[lattelady]

I think Hordak's picture illustration says it well! Sometimes, especially as I look at different thread--be it Word of Wisdom threads, or questions on alcohol, or clothing, or dress, that there is alot of micromanaging that goes on from different people--we just need to give others the freedom in Christ to be who He made them to be. To hear from Him, from His spirit on a give subject that He wants to work with them on.

[sixpacktr]

I beg to differ...These are the men we should be following, not the Bernie Madoffs or Al Capones of the world...

I'm sure that Satan himself would dress in a suit if it suits his purpose. My point has been all along that we have people to look up to, and we should emulate them...

[hordak]

Just to clarify. Beefche, i wouldn't call you judgmental ( Or anyone for that matter) for expressing their opinion. I agree it is wrong. And Sixpactr your outward appearance may change your inward attitude, in which case dressing up is important for you, nothing wrong with that.

My point is that things aren't either good or bad. It is our intentions that make them so.

Take drugs to kill pain= good

Take drugs to get high= bad

Dress up for church to be reverent=good

Dress up for church to fit in=bad

Don't dress up because you can't, because it keeps your focus off Christ= good

Don't dress up because you cant wit to bust out the 1st Samuel scripture and "put someone in their place" = bad.

Only the individuals and the Lord (as told in that scripture) know the intent of the action.In this case clothes, and thus us onlookers have no right to judge, offering opinions and help is one thing as long as we understand that we have know idea why so and so is wearing this or that.

So one shouldn't accuse someone of not being dressed up enough, anymore then one should accuse the other of being vain and dressing up too much, simply because they aren't dressed like us.

In conclusion, dress in the manor that enlarges your own spiritual experience at church. Focus on God, and not what others are wearing.(Whether it be the fanciest "vain" suit, or the "dingiest" casual wear you have seen.)