Just need some advice

[Cameron1991]

Well first off i should tell you ive struggled with pornography issues. Im a week clean but could use tips to stay clean.

Thanks!

[Mason]

Stay off the internet for 6 months.

Seriously, don't use it at all. Have someone else check your eMail if you need it.

[ryanh]

Hey Cameron - glad to see you are facing your issues head on and are willing to discuss them out here in the open. Was wondering what was going on and was thinking of sending you a PM.

Have you considered talking with your Bishop about it? Living where you live, I can guarantee you won't be the first person he has talked with that has had to fight this.

Congrats on the first week. Now, set your goal to make it two, and at that point, to make it three. Break your goals down into manageable pieces that you can focus on. If that means day by day, then do it that way.

[Cameron1991]

Thanks for your concern ryanh

I think i told you my family is inactive umm and ive only met my bishop a few times.

[Bini]

I wholeheartedly agree with Mason.

Of course this isn't the only step to take but it's definitely a step you should do or strongly consider. My ex dealt with the same problem and tackled it by refraining from using the internet for several months (advised by a Counselor and the Bishop). At the time he was inactive but was able to make a lifestyle change by heeding their advice/counseling and abstaining from the web until he had disciplined himself enough to get back online.

Best of luck!

[tubaloth]

First you should get an internet blocker. K9 is one I have used and its pretty good (I think it does slow down your internet sum but thats mostly just when the computer is starting up, I only think this, not sure).

Next find an escape. Usually there are signs when you are heading down the wrong direction. It takes time to recognize them, but once you do, you can realize where your choices are going to lead. When this happens you have to be Like Joseph and Run. So you need to find a way out. Either have a chapter from the scriptures that you can read (Alma 36) or there are talks from the Ensign that you can have printed out or even bookmark so you can switch quickly. You can have any number of talks like either Pres Hinckley's or Elder Oaks about Pornography or others just about how other people over came it. But the key is to have it ready, and for when the Satan sends forth his darts, you need a sheld.

You can also get in the habit of reading some talks every couple of days so you fortify yourself more.

Last its motivation! You have find your reason for the path you want to take. If you don't have any motivation then people tend to just go with the flow, and that doesn't really go anywhere.

[talisyn]

Well first off i should tell you ive struggled with pornography issues. Im a week clean but could use tips to stay clean.

Thanks!

Congrats! One day at a time, Cameron. IDK when an addiction gets easier to handle, but your week counts for a lot. I recommend learning a lot of primary songs. They have simple tunes and words that can push out all sorts of thoughts from your brain. I use them when I get mad at someone. In fact, I've managed to get myself trained so good that I will have a primary song in my head even before I realize I want to hit something

[Cameron1991]

Does anyone know a good part of the scriptures to read for inspirations when im feeling the urge?

[lost87]

2 Nephi 4...its my very favorite!

[skippy740]

Sing a hymn and LEAVE THE ROOM.

[MaMeeshkaMow]

I don't if this would help but it just came to me. Why not put pictures of Jesus up in the computer room? Or pictures of gospel themes? Picture of Mom even. Also, exercise a lot!!! Let's be frank here too. You might feel there is no other way to "release", that you have to do this to relieve those urges. You will also have those certain dreams that do release....I mean I'm not saying pray for those dreams but you know they will happen if you don't release the pornography way.

[Bini]

I don't if this would help but it just came to me. Why not put pictures of Jesus up in the computer room? Or pictures of gospel themes? Picture of Mom even. Also, exercise a lot!!! Let's be frank here too. You might feel there is no other way to "release", that you have to do this to relieve those urges. You will also have those certain dreams that do release....I mean I'm not saying pray for those dreams but you know they will happen if you don't release the pornography way.

I like this idea!

You could also surround yourself with pictures of family and friends. Might make it a bit more uncomfortable to google inappropriate things online if your mum, dad, grandma, grandpa, siblings and friends are looking at you. But I really like the idea of putting pictures of Jesus and other Gospel themed images up. Good suggestion :]

[ryanh]

It also helps me to ponder about how Heavenly Father sees everything. When I'm trying to quit or avoid something, I try to keep in mind how He is omnipresent. A couple pictures could act as reminders of this.

[ryanh]

Cameron,

Less active or not, I’m sure your Bishop would like to help you overcome this. No, I wasn’t aware about the family, just that you were less active. That does make it tough doesn’t it? I was 16 when baptized. Didn’t have any active family to support me. I know what that’s like. But I trust you can do what is right whether they are active or not.

As far as specific scriptures, I have no recommendations. I think what passages to go to is a highly personal thing. Some people find resolve from reading admonitions to repent or reviewing the consequences for sin. Others find greater strength to persevere by reading passages about God’s love and care for us. Dive into them and find what works for you. Perhaps some focused study would be of benefit – go to the topical guide (in between the New Testament and the Book of Mormon in a quadruple combination) and select a topic to review passages on.

LDS.org also is a great resource for research and study. Use the search tool to find talks by general authorities regarding porn, addictions, etc, and print them out to read when you need a distraction.

Something you may need overall is to nourish your Spirit. Your Spirit may be malnourished right now, and doing what you can to ‘feed’ it will go a long ways in overcoming the ‘flesh’.

We know that our physical bodies require certain nutrients to sustain life and to maintain physical and mental health. If we are deprived of those nutrients, our physical and mental vitality are impaired and we have a condition called malnutrition. Malnutrition produces such symptoms as reduced mental functions, digestive disorders, loss of physical strength, and impairment of vision. Good nutrition is especially important for children, whose growing bodies are easily impaired if they lack the nutrients necessary for normal growth.

Our spirits also require nourishment. Just as there is food for the body, there is food for the spirit. The consequences of spiritual malnutrition are just as hurtful to our spiritual lives as physical malnutrition is to our physical bodies. Symptoms of spiritual malnutrition include reduced ability to digest spiritual food, reduced spiritual strength, and impairment of spiritual vision.

Nourishing the Spirit By Elder Dallin H. Oaks

Also see: Spiritual Nutrients by President James E. Faust

Also, when trying to remove one habit from our lives, it is usually best to replace it with something better. Simply eliminating a habit/additicion is harder than replacing it with something more productive. I'm thinking about more than just reading a scripture or singing a primary song/hymn in order to distract ourselves. I’m meaning whole new habits – healthy ones - that provide us with a valid and compelling interest. Dirt bike riding, model airplanes, fixing up an old car or rebuilding an engine, carpentry, basket weaving or underwater BB stacking. Anything that we find of interest and obtain satisfaction in. Serving in church or the community too. Filling our time with work, service, and wholesome interests makes it much easier to choke out the weeds in our life and keep them from having a place to grow. The best way to keep weeds out of a lawn is to grow a thick, healthy, flourishing lawn.

[ryanh]

Cameron, as I was reading the April Ensign this morning (trying to catch up on the backlog of issues I haven't had a chance to read), I came across an article that may be of help to you.

See: Think About What You Are Thinking About

[wrbeattie]

I agree with lost87 2 Ne 4 is a great scripture (they all are) that helps us understand that we all have trials overcoming the natural man even great prophets like Nephi. And as he did, pray even when you feel you can't, pray!

[interalia]

Often addictive behaviours are tied to specific stimuli or "triggers." Reorganize the room where you normally view pornography. Consider the kinds of things that happen around you that make you want to look at pornography and avoid those stimuli until you are strong enough to form other associations with them. Do anything you can to prevent the onslaught of stimuli that reinforce the behavior. If that means dropping off the internet, then so be it. You can determine what causes your mind to go the direct that eventually leads to pornopgrahy. Cut those thoughts off at the pass by not allowing their triggers into your life.

Most importantly, keep the Lord in your life and in your struggles. Your bishop can and should be a part of your healing process.

[lost87]

so...i struggle with the same kinda thing and last night I just couldn't sleep...it was about 3am and getting hard to stay committed to not giving in. I had heard once eons (did i spell that right?) ago that we can command Satan to leave in the name of Christ...not sure if where I heard it from, or even if its doctrinally correct, but the thought came to me and I thought that maybe i'd try it before giving in to the temptation. I kinda said in my head "satan, in the name of Jesus Christ i command you leave and take this temptation with you"...it was amazing because just as i finished saying it my mind was crystal clear...almost like the stage was empty and waiting for the next act....the desire was gone, the not so great thoughts were gone and i was free to choose what i was going to run through my mind. It blew me away so much that I rolled out of bed and onto my knees to say thanks....now, im not sure if this will work every time, BUT i think that any time we turn to the Lord and recognize His power to help us, we are going to get the help we need.....just a thought.

[jherre]

Phone a friend. Find someone you can trust and use them as a support system. Talk it out.

Good luck and stay strong

[will227457]

get rid of your internet service and cable TV...no pay per view pornos.....you have to want to do it though......

[Laureltree]

Best Program if you truly want to get rid of your addiction:) hope it helps god bless:)

Sexual Addiction Recovery - LifeSTAR Network

[annamaureen]

I agree with other people's suggestion to avoid the internet entirely... but if you can't, try moving the computer to a public place (if you live with others) or away from the room you usually view pornography in. Turn it off at night, or whenever you feel the temptation most.

[Cameron1991]

Well just to update you guys on how im doing i lost strength a few days after i posted this and struggled for a few weeks. But i used some guy advice and now im 3 weeks clean

[JudoMinja]

Congrats on the three weeks! I went through some struggles with pornography of my own for about a year before I was finally able to overcome it. Sometimes I still feel urges, but I know how to tone them down and fight them off before they become dangerous now.

First off, I slipped up MANY times during my struggle to free myself of the addiction. Don't let your slip ups get you down. Try getting the book Putting on the Armor of God (can't remember the author). It has some advice on this I can paraphrase- If you focus only on the times you slip, you will always feel like a failure. Instead, think of the times you felt the urge and you did not give in. If you look at it this way, your wins will always outnumber your losses, and you will be able to maintain a positive attitude. Eventually, you'll be a pure winner.

All the suggestions given by others on here are great. I, personally, was cut off from the internet for about three months, then was only on in public and around other people for about another year before I can now trust myself to be on whenever I have the opportunity. (A good thing too, because it seems like the only chance I get to do the things I need to get done online is when everbody else has gone to bed.)

Above all, go to your Bishop. It doesn't matter that you and your family are inactive. This is something he needs to know about and can help you with. Overcoming any addiction is very difficult to do on your own, and an addiction of a sexual nature is the worst.

Once you have conquered this, remember it is an area where you are weak, and don't let your guard down. Keep barriers in place to prevent yourself from falling victim to pornography again. Never let them up. Even years down the road, you are more succeptible to this sin, because it is an area where you have been weak before and Satan knows how to wittle away at you.

You have the support of the Lord. Don't turn away from Him, and you will come off conqueror.

[Hemidakota]

Stay off the internet for 6 months.

Seriously, don't use it at all. Have someone else check your eMail if you need it.

Exactly!

For the common shrinks [ ] they will give the advice, 21-days of abstaining and tell yourself to obstain all works off evil seven times a day. Brainwashing or just remembering your own advice?