Russian Princess

[Maxel]

So here's the deal. I'm writing this because I want you all to share in my pain and help me through this crisis. And I'm bored. But mostly the pain thing.

Anyway, I met this awesome girl about 5 years ago. We'll call her Megan for the sake of ease ("Megan" is so much easier than "that girl I like"). I only knew her for a couple of months, but she had a MAJOR impact on me (like, completely profound. I can't give all the details, but vision-from-heaven type profound). I moved away from Colorado (where I lived), and have lived out of state since then.

At the beginning of the summer, I decided to move back to Colorado. I was so excited to see her again! I would sweep in and dazzle her with my charms and knowledge of... stuff. So THEN I find out that she's going to study abroad in Russia- for 10 MONTHS!! She's already there, studying the Russian language this semester. So now I have to wait longer to meet her... I cried when I found out.

So now I'm sad. But she still talks to me on Facebook! I just received a message from her, and I felt so glad that I did a little dance!

Anyway...

I know this is random, but I'm really missing her tonight (I know... how dumb is it to miss someone you haven't seen for 5 years and barely know? It's... hard to explain.) so I thought I'd post about it. I'm bored and emotional, and the two are NOT a good combination.

So, here's a poem just for her, although I know she'll never read it (thank goodness!):

With your curly black hair, I think you are pretty.

My arms long to hold you close, and my lips long to touch your cheek.

How weird is it that I write poetry about you?

Please don't file a restraining order.

:confused:

[Guest]

Laughing about the restraining order. I feel you, man.

So, here's my story... I had ice in the car and I asked DH to put it in the freezer before it melts any more than it already is. He didn't do it because he was watching baseball - okay, so he didn't do it right then and there... So, I got mad and turned off the TV and he got very upset with me and now we're being "I'm not talking to you except to say pass me the salt"... Waaaaaa.

[john doe]

I think Donny Osmond sang a song about that back in Pam's day.......... it was called Puppy Love.

[talisyn]

Aww Maxel, that was a nice poem. I hope she's worth the restraining order

[Maxel]

This isn't puppy love... This is puppy infatuation. HUUUUUUUGE difference.

Oh, and I haven't received a restraining order yet! Things are looking up!

[pam]

I think Donny Osmond sang a song about that back in Pam's day.......... it was called Puppy Love.

Back in MY day? I think your wife had it on a 45.

[john doe]

Back in MY day? I think your wife had it on a 45.

Yeah, but she's older than me too.

[will227457]

Maxel

please return your man card

your membership has been revoked.....

[beefche]

Naw, he's a man, just not a great poet.

[Maxel]

Nah, I'll keep my man card. I've learned, through a year of having my roommates trying to revoke it, that if you stand up for your actions then it can't get taken away.

The woman I finally marry will love my corny poems!! And she won't file restraining orders!!

(Hopefully.)

[sixpacktr]

It's okay Maxel. When you get married you'll have to turn in your man card, so keep it as long as you can. I had 3 daughters, no sons. I watch chick flicks and LIKE them (since none of you know my secret identity, I don't care that you know!), I have to go shopping. Want to watch the game? But I wanted to watch 'High School Musical' for the 90th time this week! is what you hear, and guess what? you don't get to see the game..

But the ultimate is when you wake up in the morning next to the woman you love, full of wonder that she actually married YOU. Then she wakes up, gives you a glare that would melt steel, and stalks off. You wonder at this, ask questions, wonder some more, and then 2 days later you find out that she had a DREAM and in the DREAM you were mean to her.

Oh yes, you WILL be in trouble for things your wife dreams about you....

Thought you ought to know...

[john doe]

Well, at least you're not Balloon Boy's dad.

[Vort]

With your curly black hair, I think you are pretty.

My arms long to hold you close, and my lips long to touch your cheek.

How weird is it that I write poetry about you?

Please don't file a restraining order.

I feel your pain, Maxel. To help you out, I've tried to put into words the feelings I get from you. If you want to copy this poem verbatim and send it to your beloved, that's all right with me. You don't even have to give me credit. Just sign at the bottom.

TO MY SNUGGLYWUMS

Too long, dearest, I have lived

Falsely, suff'ring that I've lied.

Let me, darling, to you give

What I'm feeling now inside...

When you were near, my heart had wings

And I knew the taste of hope --

I discovered many things

Looking through my telescope.

To be apart from you is death

Stay near unto me -- please

Let me smell your sweet, sweet breath

While you eat Limburger cheese!

Let me not fall into despair!

Let me revel in your charms!

Let me stroke the silky hair

Growing from beneath your arms!

My feelings come from up above

And override all other issues!

My one and only, truest love,

Don't deny me your used tissues!

Must I thus my feelings fight?

Is it wrong for me to hope?

Is it wrong I wish to bite,

Fondle, pull, molest, and grope?

Near you's where I long to be;

Upon you I wish to dote,

And yet I suffer cruelly:

Cuffs, police dogs at my throat.

Day by day, my private hell

Mocks me as the days go by.

And I sit here in my cell,

Begging -- pleading -- asking why?

Sans toi, all alone I dance!

Your lack's not filled, not by a mile,

By my cellmate's furtive glance

Or his shy and toothless smile!

With deepest longing and purest love,

<sign here>

Hope this is of help!

Edited October 22, 2009 by Vort

[Maxel]

Hey, I'm not THAT creepy.

Not QUITE that creepy.

Maybe a little creepy... I guess starting a forum post about pining away for a girl you barely know is kinda stalker-ish, eh? Don't any of you DARE tell her about this!

lol... Man, I'm tired. That was a good poem, Vort. I'll be sure to save it for posterity.

[sixpacktr]

TO MY SNUGGLYWUMS

Too long, dearest, I have lived

Falsely, suff'ring that I've lied.

Let me, darling, to you give

What I'm feeling now inside...

When you were near, my heart had wings

And I knew the taste of hope --

I discovered many things

Looking through my telescope.

To be apart from you is death

Stay near unto me -- please

Let me smell your sweet, sweet breath

While you eat Limburger cheese!

Let me not fall into despair!

Let me revel in your charms!

Let me stroke the silky hair

Growing from beneath your arms!

My feelings come from up above

And override all other issues!

My one and only, truest love,

Don't deny me your used tissues!

Must I thus my feelings fight?

Is it wrong for me to hope?

Is it wrong I wish to bite,

Fondle, pull, molest, and grope?

Near you's where I long to be;

Upon you I wish to dote,

And yet I suffer cruelly:

Cuffs, police dogs at my throat.

Day by day, my private hell

Mocks me as the days go by.

And I sit here in my cell,

Begging -- pleading -- asking why?

Sans toi, all alone I dance!

Your lack's not filled, not by a mile,

By my cellmate's furtive glance

Or his shy and toothless smile!

With deepest longing and purest love,

<sign here>

Hope this is of help!

Vort,

I know I speak for us all here on this board when I say, from the bottom of my heart:

Get some help. Soon. Really. Before your mind deteriorates any further...

[Moksha]

Maxel, love is as perennial as the grass. You are young and no doubt experience the pangs of love much more intensely than we who take Ibuprophen. You have years before Brigham Young's designation as a menace to society (age 25).

:)

[Maxel]

I'm already a menace to society... Mwahaha.