Do all single males need to get married?

[Bracket]

Hello everyone here,

Do all single males within the Church need to get married.

Former President Ezra Taft Benson stated:

Understand that temple marriage is essential to your salvation and exaltation.

However, there are some males within the Church who are not able to get married mainly because of mental handicaps. Most of them are not able to get married. And there are a few males within the Church that are homosexuals. Are they also supposed to get married?

Is the Church really a place for single (never married) men over 35 years of age? Or is there a better place for them?

Edited June 1, 2010 by Bracket

[volgadon]

The church is really the place for all.

[Bini]

I was under the impression that everyone will have the opportunity to marry and have families, whether it be in this life, or the next. There are many many many reasons why someone may not marry and have children in this lifetime. One reason could be as simple as premature death of a child or youth. How could that person possibly fulfill the goals of marriage and procreating in that limited time frame they have on earth. It's just not possible.

I agree with the above poster, the Church, is welcoming to all and is for all. If perfection were a requirement, it'd be an empty church because none of us are perfect.

[SanctitasDeo]

However, there are some males within the Church who are not able to get married mainly because of mental handicaps. Most of them are not able to get married. And there are a few males within the Church that are homosexuals. Are they also supposed to get married?

Is the Church really a place for single (never married) men over 35 years of age? Or is there a better place for them?

Where do you suggest that they go? Did the Lord set up another church for such men somewhere else where the gospel can also be found?

I think the gospel is simple, and many tend to make it too complicated. If a man is faithful and tries to the best of his ability, repenting of his mistakes along the way, then he will find a place with Christ.

[Dravin]

I think something Elder Oaks said is applicable.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks: Thank you, Kristen. Now, brothers and sisters, if you are troubled about something we have just said, please listen very carefully to what I will say now. Perhaps you are a young man feeling pressured by what I have said about the need to start a pattern of dating that can lead to marriage, or you are a young woman troubled by what we have said about needing to get on with your life.

If you feel you are a special case, so that the strong counsel I have given doesn’t apply to you, please don’t write me a letter. Why would I make this request? I have learned that the kind of direct counsel I have given results in a large number of letters from members who feel they are an exception, and they want me to confirm that the things I have said just don’t apply to them in their special circumstance.

I will explain why I can’t offer much comfort in response to that kind of letter by telling you an experience I had with another person who was troubled by a general rule. I gave a talk in which I mentioned the commandment “Thou shalt not kill” (Ex. 20:13). Afterward a man came up to me in tears saying that what I had said showed there was no hope for him. “What do you mean?” I asked him.

He explained that he had been a machine gunner during the Korean War. During a frontal assault, his machine gun mowed down scores of enemy infantry. Their bodies were piled so high in front of his gun that he and his men had to push them away in order to maintain their field of fire. He had killed a hundred, he said, and now he must be going to hell because I had spoken of the Lord’s commandment “Thou shalt not kill.”

The explanation I gave that man is the same explanation I give to you if you feel you are an exception to what I have said. As a General Authority, I have the responsibility to preach general principles. When I do, I don’t try to define all the exceptions. There are exceptions to some rules. For example, we believe the commandment is not violated by killing pursuant to a lawful order in an armed conflict. But don’t ask me to give an opinion on your exception. I only teach the general rules. Whether an exception applies to you is your responsibility. You must work that out individually between you and the Lord.

LDS.org - Ensign Article - Dating versus Hanging Out

[prisonchaplain]

I'm not sure about your church, but in most there is a severe shortage of single men. However, many may feel like honey attracting bees, when they show up...

[Guest mormonmusic]

I think there is ample evidence that the Lord does not hold people responsible for omissions in this life when it's due to no fault of their own. His gospel is just and fair. Therefore, a person who doesn't find the right person, who never gets a confirmation that the person they are considering to marry, or can't find someone suitable will not be held accountable.

However, the Lord also knows the state of your heart, so if

"not finding someone suitable" is a cover for selfishness or other things within one's control, there may well be judgment....

[bl8tant]

I think something Elder Oaks said is applicable.

LDS.org - Ensign Article - Dating versus Hanging Out

You definitely win the prize for comparing failure to date to being a machine gunner! Well played, sir, well played.

[Hemidakota]

Hello everyone here,

Do all single males within the Church need to get married.

Former President Ezra Taft Benson stated:

However, there are some males within the Church who are not able to get married mainly because of mental handicaps. Most of them are not able to get married. And there are a few males within the Church that are homosexuals. Are they also supposed to get married?

Is the Church really a place for single (never married) men over 35 years of age? Or is there a better place for them?

Marriage is only required for those who will be 'heirs unto salvation', meaning, the highest state in the Celestial Kingdom. All other states, including telestial and terrestrial, 1st and 2nd state of the Celestial kingdom, do not require temple marriage [fullness of the priesthood]. Unless, you have the desire to be eternal and preside in the same presence of the Godhead, eternal marriage is the key.

We had choices in coming here and taking on the roles of morality. Some of which, we require others to do their works prior to the final resurrection. All of it, will be done in the millennium.

Yes, we do have a few in the church are non-practicing homosexual. In my humble opinion, they should wait and allow a correction to be made in their lives prior to taking on the final covenant made in the temple. It will be then, they will find their eternal companion.

However, it is your choice. :)

[FunkyTown]

I will hesitantly agree with Ye Olde PC.

I've heard the statistic that there are 6 active single women past the age of 30 for every 1 active single guy.

I guess it depends on where you go.

[Dravin]

You definitely win the prize for comparing failure to date to being a machine gunner! Well played, sir, well played.

I'd like to take credit but it belongs to Elder Oaks.

[Guest]

All you upstanding single men over the age of 35... I have lots of female cousins...

... and they all need visas.

[Moksha]

I've heard the statistic that there are 6 active single women past the age of 30 for every 1 active single guy.

.

How many of them are holding out for the elusive Mr. Right? There are more single guys in my ward than single women.

BTW Bracket, welcome to the forum. President Benson's thoughts on salvation and marriage may be a variation on past speculation that one needed to be a polygamist to attain salvation and exaltation.

[Nomad]

Hello everyone here,

Is the Church really a place for single (never married) men over 35 years of age?

Well I've visited twice now and the security guards haven't tossed me out on my ear (a new experience for a Sunday morning) so I'd have to say we're welcome.

[FunkyTown]

How many of them are holding out for the elusive Mr. Right? There are more single guys in my ward than single women.

BTW Bracket, welcome to the forum. President Benson's thoughts on salvation and marriage may be a variation on past speculation that one needed to be a polygamist to attain salvation and exaltation.

You are in the wrong ward, my friend. Come to England. It's a real problem.

There just simply aren't enough active men compared to women here.

[Guest mormonmusic]

Funkytown -- I was once engaged to this "Miss Littlewood's" beauty queen from Wales. She served a mission in North America, and then returned later and we fell into infatuation to each other. Then it fizzled after we got to know each other better.

During the throes of infatuation, a couple of my friends, university professors at the time with some international experience, told me they thought part of her attraction was the opportunity to live in North America, and that she'd be a "hero" or source of envy in her home country for the "achievement". My magnetiic good looks, overpowering spirituation and charisma were only of secondary importance, they said :)

I never knew what to believe; fortunately I realized we weren't compatible so I ended it and it didn't matter -- however, Ialways wondered this -- do you see this as something that many British woman would do just to get married and into American/Canadian society? After the relationship fizzled there were others in her Ward who started making aggressive moves toward me, unlike what I'd experienced in my home country....so I always wondered how strong the desire to live in the US is among women there. Is it considered exotic or enviable?

Just curious since you live there and have been steeped in the culture.

And by the way, I realize there are many women who are not

[bl8tant]

You are in the wrong ward, my friend. Come to England. It's a real problem.

There just simply aren't enough active men compared to women here.

Sweet! I love women with English accents. Can I stay on your couch when I come to visit?

[rayhale]

As it has been stated before, there are many reasons that someone is old and still single, some has been stated already; being handicapped or having homosexual feelings. There are other reasons besides those, for example, women get conflicting statements from the Church, they should get a good education, go to collage, get a good job (while single), yet once married, and have children, they should be a stay-at-home mom. With that, most men, especially, men that think women should be a stay-at-home mom, they feel intimated with a smart woman with a well-paying job.

There are other reasons than being handicapped or having homosexual feelings that would make it difficult for a person to get married, lets face one reason, being ugly or not being very social, being shy, or have children out of wedlock, which could put other singles, especially young singles, off, and not want to date you.

[LostMarine]

The last time I was at a singles ward (six years ago) the ratio was 7-1 sisters to brothers. It felt like a meat market. Being recently divorced and now almost 30 I shudder to think what re-entering the dating scene is going to be like. As a father of two beautiful children I know its a must. Good luck my brothers.