JThimm88 Posted October 12, 2010 Report Posted October 12, 2010 Has anyone here read The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlessinger? She's not LDS, but my mother-in-law has read this book, recommended it to me (and her daughter, and one of her son's girlfriends to whom he'll soon be engaged), and I'm really enjoying it. Just wondering if anyone has read it and therefore has any thoughts on it? Quote
Wingnut Posted October 12, 2010 Report Posted October 12, 2010 My ward did it for book group a couple of years ago. I'm kind-of a slow reader, so I was catching up on the previous month's book. I didn't get a chance to read it, but I still attended the discussion on it. I wouldn't be opposed to reading it at some point in the future (though I'm generally wary of Dr. Laura as a rule). Where you're pretty recently married, it might not be a bad thing for you to go through not, instead of later. Quote
PrinceofLight2000 Posted October 12, 2010 Report Posted October 12, 2010 My ward did it for book group a couple of years ago. I'm kind-of a slow reader, so I was catching up on the previous month's book. I didn't get a chance to read it, but I still attended the discussion on it. I wouldn't be opposed to reading it at some point in the future (though I'm generally wary of Dr. Laura as a rule). Where you're pretty recently married, it might not be a bad thing for you to go through not, instead of later.I can see why you'd have reservations because she's very blunt and over generalizes at times, but at the same time a lot of what she says applies more to the people asking her or reading her material for advice than they would like to believe. You could say the same stuff about Dr. Phil, lol. Quote
NeuroTypical Posted October 12, 2010 Report Posted October 12, 2010 Many LDS are not Dr. Laura fans, and find her harsh, abrasive, uncharitable, and potentially harmful. Many LDS are Dr. Laura fans, finding her style and techniques useful and helpful.I'm a Dr. Laura fan, and I've read the book. I recommend all women read it before getting married, and after getting married if the marriage is in trouble. I recommend men do not read it, as it only causes pain to hear those things advocated and then not see your wife doing them. If men want to read a Dr. Laura book, go for Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage.And speaking of required reading for marriage, I can't say enough good things about And They Were Not Ashamed: Strengthening Marriage Through Sexual Fulfillment It is the LDS version of a 'how to do it' book. Approved by the church. Good reading for those going to be married, and those already married.LM Quote
MarginOfError Posted October 12, 2010 Report Posted October 12, 2010 Many LDS are not Dr. Laura fans, and find her harsh, abrasive, uncharitable, and potentially harmful. Many LDS are Dr. Laura fans, finding her style and techniques useful and helpful.I'm a Dr. Laura fan, and I've read the book. I recommend all women read it before getting married, and after getting married if the marriage is in trouble. I recommend men do not read it, as it only causes pain to hear those things advocated and then not see your wife doing them. If men want to read a Dr. Laura book, go for Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage.And speaking of required reading for marriage, I can't say enough good things about And They Were Not Ashamed: Strengthening Marriage Through Sexual Fulfillment It is the LDS version of a 'how to do it' book. Approved by the church. Good reading for those going to be married, and those already married.LMReally? That seems like a bit of an extrapolation. Quote
Just_A_Guy Posted October 12, 2010 Report Posted October 12, 2010 Really? That seems like a bit of an extrapolation.It's in the 2010 edition of the Church Handbook of Instructions, MOE. Keep reading--you'll find it. Quote
Wingnut Posted October 12, 2010 Report Posted October 12, 2010 I can see why you'd have reservations because she's very blunt and over generalizes at times, but at the same time a lot of what she says applies more to the people asking her or reading her material for advice than they would like to believe. You could say the same stuff about Dr. Phil, lol.Well, I think Dr. Phil is full of...Never mind.When I was 13, my aunt gave me -- for Christmas -- Dr. Laura's Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives. I was pretty offended at the time, but tried to read it several years later. I didn't get very far, because I don't like her style. Quote
PrinceofLight2000 Posted October 12, 2010 Report Posted October 12, 2010 Well, I think Dr. Phil is full of...Never mind.When I was 13, my aunt gave me -- for Christmas -- Dr. Laura's Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives. I was pretty offended at the time, but tried to read it several years later. I didn't get very far, because I don't like her style.What were the ten things and what was your issue with them? lol. Quote
NeuroTypical Posted October 12, 2010 Report Posted October 12, 2010 I should cite my source. There is a LSCW practicing here in Colorado Springs. She helped edit And They Were Not Ashamed, and she is friends with the author Laura M. Brotherson. She tells me the author submitted a final draft to church HQ for approval, made the couple of changes requested by the brethren, and then she published the book.It's not an official church publication, and it's not taught in our church buildings. But yes, it has been reviewed and approved by church leadership.LM Quote
Wingnut Posted October 12, 2010 Report Posted October 12, 2010 What were the ten things and what was your issue with them? lol.Well, if you read what I wrote, you'd see that I don't have a clue what they were, because "I didn't get very far."I don't like Dr. Laura's communication style. Quote
PrinceofLight2000 Posted October 12, 2010 Report Posted October 12, 2010 Well, if you read what I wrote, you'd see that I don't have a clue what they were, because "I didn't get very far."I don't like Dr. Laura's communication style.True, but I thought you'd at least have looked at the table of contents. Quote
Dravin Posted October 12, 2010 Report Posted October 12, 2010 True, but I thought you'd at least have looked at the table of contents. Browse Inside Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives by Dr. Laura Schlessinger Quote
Guest Alana Posted October 12, 2010 Report Posted October 12, 2010 I've read the Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands and 10 Stupid things Women do to Mess up their Lives. Sometimes I like her and sometimes I don't. I like listening to her radio show but turn it off about every 3 calls or so because she starts to annoy me or the caller does. Basically there are some things I totally agree with her on and others that I don't at all. The 10 stupid things book was probably written a long time before Care and Feeding of Husbands because it's harder to read. Care and Feeding was an easier book to read, made more sense in its organization. I'd have to say that I agree with almost everything in that book. In my house, if Mom (Me) is happy, everyone's happy. Nagging has never gotten me anything except resentment. I may not agree with Dr. Laura on everything, but when she talks about feeding a man, being sweet to him and treating him like a man, she really does have it pretty straight. I suggested to my sister that she read the book. She read a little and said it was ridiculous that she should be the one expected to do all the work. I could see how she got that out of the book at first. For me, the book helped me to focus on myself. Be the person I want to be, be the nice sweet thoughtful, not manipulative person I want to be, and when that happens, my husband really really wants to do everything for me he can. Dr. Laura in a way advocates a cookie cutter stay at home mom who loves to cook, is good at house keeping and always so patient. Of course, this isn't the real world, but the basic idea of being sweet to your husband isn't that radical of one and works in pretty much all situations. An idea that I don't fully support in the book is if your spouse wants to have sex, say yes no matter what, because your partners needs are more important that sleep or being in a bad mood. Yes, my husband is more important than an extra hour of sleep, but I prefer to have my cake and eat it too. Sleep and sex when it works for both of us, and hopefully that's almost all the time, and not an excuse to say no. The book doesn't deal with much the fact that there are some people who no matter how good you are to them, and no matter how much you focus on improving yourself because you want to respect yourself and respect others agency, there are still others who are just jerks. Happily my husband isn't a jerk, and I was able to pull some good ideas out of this book (and leave a few behind) and make our days together even better. Quote
JThimm88 Posted October 12, 2010 Author Report Posted October 12, 2010 I have to say, I'm about halfway through the book, and what I'm most enjoying about it is the input given by husbands. My husband and I have open lines of communication, but sometimes I wonder if he does feel like some of these other men and just doesn't tell me. While I'm not guilty of every single thing the women in this book do, I am guilty of some things, and so far it's been an eye opener. Thanks for your responses everyone! Quote
PrinceofLight2000 Posted October 12, 2010 Report Posted October 12, 2010 I have to say, I'm about halfway through the book, and what I'm most enjoying about it is the input given by husbands. My husband and I have open lines of communication, but sometimes I wonder if he does feel like some of these other men and just doesn't tell me. While I'm not guilty of every single thing the women in this book do, I am guilty of some things, and so far it's been an eye opener.Thanks for your responses everyone!In my experience that's because we're afraid of your reactions if we do feel that way. lol. Quote
JThimm88 Posted October 13, 2010 Author Report Posted October 13, 2010 In my experience that's because we're afraid of your reactions if we do feel that way. lol.If I'm not mistaken, that point was also made in this book, so I do agree. One thing I wrote to my mother-in-law in regards to how this book has made me view communication:"I'm only about halfway through, but so far it's made me realize how important open lines of communication are for both individuals; obviously the book is geared toward how women can change themselves to better their marriages and thus it's important for us wives to listen to our husbands input and put it into practice, but I also think it's basically telling us to communicate with our husbands... in a way that maybe isn't as harsh as it can be. I know I'm waaaaay guilty of just complaining to Eli sometimes, and it can get even worse when he tells me I'm complaining (I get annoyed, you know?), but reading this book has me asking, "Well, why do I think it's always about me, me, me, me, me?" because it's really not. It's about both of us."I can definitely see my husband as being afraid of wanting to attempt to talk with me when all I'm doing is spewing negativity out of my mouth!So, I guess in my previous post I should have said we GENERALLY have open lines of communication. Sometimes I know he's holding back, and sometimes I simply have to wonder if he isn't really saying what he wants to? Quote
Wingnut Posted October 13, 2010 Report Posted October 13, 2010 True, but I thought you'd at least have looked at the table of contents. I did, but I haven't touched the book in 15 years. We're not all still 19 years old. Quote
Just_A_Guy Posted October 13, 2010 Report Posted October 13, 2010 I did, but I haven't touched the book in 15 years. We're not all still 19 years old. So that makes Wingnut . . . how old again? Quote
Dravin Posted October 13, 2010 Report Posted October 13, 2010 You misspelled the anniversary of your 29th. Quote
Wingnut Posted October 13, 2010 Report Posted October 13, 2010 Hey, it's not like I'm pam or anything. Quote
pam Posted October 13, 2010 Report Posted October 13, 2010 Sheesh, I'm gone from the site a day and I come back to remarks about me. Quote
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