Dating question for sisters

[EQ_Guy]

Hello. I have a question. If you were a single sister and you were interested in a single brother in your ward and he asked you out, would you go out with him? Or to put it different, would you ever be interested in a brother in your ward and decline to get together with him if you were interested?

Thanks

[Bini]

If I am interested, I'm probably not going to decline.. But there have been times when I had initially been uninterested and still went on the date. Guess it depends on the girl.

[Guest mirancs8]

If you were a single sister and you were interested in a single brother in your ward and he asked you out, would you go out with him? Or to put it different, would you ever be interested in a brother in your ward and decline to get together with him if you were interested?

To your first questions I was going to say no. But then when you put it differently my answer may change depending on a number of things.

Are you talking about the concern of being uncomfortable if that date went sour being that you have to see that person often. From my own recent experience if you keep the date on a friend level it will be just that, like an outing with a friend. I haven't experienced a date with someone from my ward (we only have like 2 single Bros lol) but if I went on a friendly informal date with him it wouldn't bother me. I would go on a date with him. A date is just that, a date.

With that said I can see how some might decline a date with someone in their ward even if they were interested.

I wouldn't decline a date with him just because he was in my ward. But just like any date I would have a clear boundary set. Try to keep deep emotions out of the conversations. Keep the conversation light.

[Wingnut]

I'm not sure I understand the dilemma. If I'm interested in a guy, and he asks me out, of course I'm going to say yes.

[EQ_Guy]

Ok, I'll be more direct. I've always an interest for this girl in my ward. I go to to a family ward and there's not many singles at all and actually she's the only one that I'm really interested in. My wanting to go out with her would be romantic. Meaning, maybe she could be the one. I have a hard time reading her, so I'm not really sure how she feels about me. And yes, I've wondered what would happen if it went bad between us and we had to see each other every week. I'm not talking about all that, my question was about if a woman would decline a date from a guy she was interested in.

I mean that was my question. And yes, I know there's other variables, but that was my question. I'm rushing now, so I hope I've made sense. :)

To your first questions I was going to say no. But then when you put it differently my answer may change depending on a number of things.

Are you talking about the concern of being uncomfortable if that date went sour being that you have to see that person often. From my own recent experience if you keep the date on a friend level it will be just that, like an outing with a friend. I haven't experienced a date with someone from my ward (we only have like 2 single Bros lol) but if I went on a friendly informal date with him it wouldn't bother me. I would go on a date with him. A date is just that, a date.

With that said I can see how some might decline a date with someone in their ward even if they were interested.

I wouldn't decline a date with him just because he was in my ward. But just like any date I would have a clear boundary set. Try to keep deep emotions out of the conversations. Keep the conversation light.

[EQ_Guy]

Thanks! THAT'S what I've been asking. I'm going to ask her out... I THINK!

I'm not sure I understand the dilemma. If I'm interested in a guy, and he asks me out, of course I'm going to say yes.

[pam]

I'm not sure I understand the dilemma. If I'm interested in a guy, and he asks me out, of course I'm going to say yes.

You might want to have a discussion with your husband first of course.

[skippy740]

Or... just arrange to be assigned to be her home teacher!

[pam]

Or... just arrange to be assigned to be her home teacher!

That to me would be very awkward. Especially if things didn't work out. Besides most single sisters are assigned to the High Priests aren't they?

[SeekYourWish]

That to me would be very awkward. Especially if things didn't work out. Besides most single sisters are assigned to the High Priests aren't they?

In singles ward isn't there only EQ? =]

[FunkyTown]

Just as an aside, EQ:

When you ask her out, do not go out assuming she could be The One. That will frighten off (Nearly) every girl. Go out with the intention of having fun. If it works out, great! If not, you both had fun.

If you go in thinking, 'Could she be the one?' then you will sabotage yourself.

Ok, I'll be more direct. I've always an interest for this girl in my ward. I go to to a family ward and there's not many singles at all and actually she's the only one that I'm really interested in. My wanting to go out with her would be romantic. Meaning, maybe she could be the one. I have a hard time reading her, so I'm not really sure how she feels about me. And yes, I've wondered what would happen if it went bad between us and we had to see each other every week. I'm not talking about all that, my question was about if a woman would decline a date from a guy she was interested in.

I mean that was my question. And yes, I know there's other variables, but that was my question. I'm rushing now, so I hope I've made sense. :)

[EQ_Guy]

I go to a family ward by the way. :)

In singles ward isn't there only EQ? =]

[EQ_Guy]

Oh come on, I'm not going to attack her with, "sooo... how many kids do you want to have...?" :) I meant she could be the one as far as I consider her a prospect. I know VERY little about her, so I really can't say if we'll even get along one-on-one - personality wise. :)

She's the only one in my ward that I'm interested in on that level.

Just as an aside, EQ:

When you ask her out, do not go out assuming she could be The One. That will frighten off (Nearly) every girl. Go out with the intention of having fun. If it works out, great! If not, you both had fun.

If you go in thinking, 'Could she be the one?' then you will sabotage yourself.

[bl8tant]

Oh come on, I'm not going to attack her with, "sooo... how many kids do you want to have...?" :) I meant she could be the one as far as I consider her a prospect. I know VERY little about her, so I really can't say if we'll even get along one-on-one - personality wise. :)

She's the only one in my ward that I'm interested in on that level.

But Funky's point is a good one: you think she could be "the one" because she's the only one you're interested in? In that case, find some other women to be interested in too. Don't confuse availability with suitability. Trust me on that one.

[EQ_Guy]

No, my main point is that I live in an area where there's not many single members. She's literally the only single in my ward that's in my age-range, etc. The others in my area are mostly too young or too old or something like that. And if there were 20 girls in my "range" I'd still be interested in her.

Maybe I didn't use the right words before, but when I said "the one" I meant I'm interested in her. Or meaning I'm interested in her enough to even consider her that way. There's others that I'm attracted to or whatever, but I don't consider them a prospect.

But Funky's point is a good one: you think she could be "the one" because she's the only one you're interested in? In that case, find some other women to be interested in too. Don't confuse availability with suitability. Trust me on that one.

[bl8tant]

OK, that makes more sense. I'm a firm believer in the "31 flavors" theory so I felt like I should warn you off making any snap judgments based on proximity :)

[pam]

In singles ward isn't there only EQ? =]

He said he was in a family ward.

[Bini]

I guess that's still kind of sort of their point though..

You should interact (mixing and mingling) with even those you perhaps don't initially see as "prospect" because who knows what will bloom from a seemingly platonic-lets-just-be-friends hangout. I went on a lot of dates, many of them I was uninterested in the guy but I wanted to give it a chance and get to know him for him. In fact, my husband is an example of someone I had not initially seen as potential husband material—but he totally was and is! So I think the point was to view the bigger picture while dating. Don't place unnecessary boundaries on yourself with the mindset that this particular person etc etc is more likely to be spouse material than another. You just can't possibly know. But I did read your comment and of course, finding people suitable in your age group and interests plays a big factor in compatibility as well. But then again, on another note, my husband is almost 20 years older than me and when we first met we had absolutely NOTHING in common. We have been married about three years now and all our memories are great ones we've made along the way, developing new interests and hobbies together too.

Best of luck with asking this girl out :]

[miztrniceguy]

Just ask her out and approach with the idea of having fun with no expectations. Don't talk about life questions, just find out what you might have in common.

[Tarnished]

When I was single if a guy asked me out and I was interested I would say yes, sometimes I would say yes even if I was not interested, because I understood that it often took a guy a lot of courage to ask a girl out.

[Wingnut]

When I was single if a guy asked me out and I was interested I would say yes, sometimes I would say yes even if I was not interested, because I understood that it often took a guy a lot of courage to ask a girl out.

My mom taught me to always say yes to a guy who asked me to dance, for that very reason. On my own, I translated that into the dating world. There was only one time that I regretted it, and I really regretted it.

[Guest mirancs8]

No, my main point is that I live in an area where there's not many single members. She's literally the only single in my ward that's in my age-range, etc. The others in my area are mostly too young or too old or something like that. And if there were 20 girls in my "range" I'd still be interested in her.

Do you have events for singles at a stake level in your area? It would be worth checking out that way you have more opportunities to meet different women.

[EQ_Guy]

Hi Bing. Thanks for replying. I just don't think people replying understand my situation. There literally is no one else in my age-range in my ward. There's some older, but I'd like to have kids, my own, so they're not suitable and the one that I'm attracted to that's older is a new member and has issues with Word of Wisdom and is going to get all of her... female parts taken out so....

I guess that's still kind of sort of their point though..

You should interact (mixing and mingling) with even those you perhaps don't initially see as "prospect" because who knows what will bloom from a seemingly platonic-lets-just-be-friends hangout. I went on a lot of dates, many of them I was uninterested in the guy but I wanted to give it a chance and get to know him for him. In fact, my husband is an example of someone I had not initially seen as potential husband material—but he totally was and is! So I think the point was to view the bigger picture while dating. Don't place unnecessary boundaries on yourself with the mindset that this particular person etc etc is more likely to be spouse material than another. You just can't possibly know. But I did read your comment and of course, finding people suitable in your age group and interests plays a big factor in compatibility as well. But then again, on another note, my husband is almost 20 years older than me and when we first met we had absolutely NOTHING in common. We have been married about three years now and all our memories are great ones we've made along the way, developing new interests and hobbies together too.

Best of luck with asking this girl out :]

[EQ_Guy]

Whoa, why'd you reget it... REALLY regretted it? I'd love to hear.

My mom taught me to always say yes to a guy who asked me to dance, for that very reason. On my own, I translated that into the dating world. There was only one time that I regretted it, and I really regretted it.

[EQ_Guy]

Yes, I think we actually do have some Stake thing coming up. There's more to my situation that I'd rather not get into though, so I don't expect anyone to fully understand my situation.

Do you have events for singles at a stake level in your area? It would be worth checking out that way you have more opportunities to meet different women.