Can I still go to church?

[kate86]

Hi I am new to this site and this may seem like a silly question, but it is genuine. I am a 24 year old young woman and have been a member of the church my whole life. All through my youth I was an extremely active girl, president of all three young women's classes, graduated seminary with perfect attendance, etc. For the past couple of years however, i've been in a relationship where we do not keep the law of chastity. I still know the church is true, but when I am honest with myself I just don't want to live it right now. I will in the future but just not now. I KNOW that is absolutely terrible, but its at least honest. My question is...if I know that I am not trying to be clean, can I still go to church/read scriptures? I haven't in about 9 months because it just feels hypocritical. I know I can't take the sacrament, and I wouldn't, but I just want to go. I still feel the spirit from time to time, and I want to continue to learn...I just don't want to change that one part of my life. I follow everything else to a "T", just not that.

Would it be wrong to go to church and institute and study scriptures and even maybe pray?

[captmoroniRM]

So if you want to live it in the future, and will live it in the future, why not do it now?

Do you just want to "eat, drink, and be merry" now and plan on repenting later? You'd save yourself a world of pain and struggle down the road if you started living now. So yes, you can still go to Church, read your scriptures, and Pray . In fact, you probably should. Ask God if you should be doing those things. He'd be able to answer that much more effectively than anyone here on this forum.

[kate86]

Thank you so much for your response. I know what I should be doing, and I know that I should do it now. I've tried time and time again, but just can't and don't want to stop. I know thats what the Lord wants, and I know its terrible to not do what He wants. I know it will be hard to repent because I've tried so many times. I just want to wait a few months. I'm just not strong enough to make the sacrifices right at this moment to change things. I know it makes me a terrible person, but I just can't right now.

[questions67]

Hi I am new to this site and this may seem like a silly question, but it is genuine. I am a 24 year old young woman and have been a member of the church my whole life. All through my youth I was an extremely active girl, president of all three young women's classes, graduated seminary with perfect attendance, etc. For the past couple of years however, i've been in a relationship where we do not keep the law of chastity. I still know the church is true, but when I am honest with myself I just don't want to live it right now. I will in the future but just not now. I KNOW that is absolutely terrible, but its at least honest. My question is...if I know that I am not trying to be clean, can I still go to church/read scriptures? I haven't in about 9 months because it just feels hypocritical. I know I can't take the sacrament, and I wouldn't, but I just want to go. I still feel the spirit from time to time, and I want to continue to learn...I just don't want to change that one part of my life. I follow everything else to a "T", just not that.

Would it be wrong to go to church and institute and study scriptures and even maybe pray?

Go to Church & institute, study the scriptures, and pray, but you will find that you will be being held back spiritually by currently breaking the law of chastity. Please trust me when I say this- Talk to your bishop, stop breaking the law of Chastity, and you will be happier than ever. I was in a relationship for almost 3 years where for about 2 years we were breaking the law of chastity. I thought I was happy at the time. Since repenting and moving on and feeling the fullness of the spirit, I can honestly tell you- I wasted 2 years of my life. I had the same attitude as you- live now, repent later. Although this may seem like a "reasonable" philosophy, it is a slippery slope. You don't want to wake up in 5 years completely inactive because you let your hormones get the best of you. You already said- "I haven't in about 9 months because it just feels hypocritical". This should be a VERY strong sign to you that you should discontinue your sexual practices. You have already been inactive for 9 months because of these sexual practices, don't let the guilt last your lifetime. Talking to a bishop and resolving your sins will help rid you of the guilt and hypocritical feelings you are experiencing.

Please understand that I hope that this does not seem too upfront or rude, but I just feel the necessity to stress this issue since it affected me.

[wonderwoman1115]

i have gone through exactly what your going through i understand that the guy your with probably seems like the most amazing thing in your life.. but you need to right now get over it. i know your justifications for it are very convincing but thats what the devil wants you to think. you have an amazing future infront of you. are you planning on marrying this guy if so than he should be making you a better person not bringing you down. in my situation i actually turned addicted to him in a way where never wanted to let him go becuse of the warm feeling he left me and the feeling of belonging somewhere to someone was enough for me. i was with my guy for a year before i decided to give it up. after i did i realized that what i thought was happiness with him really wasnt it was actually bringing me down as a person. i aw sooo much happier now than i ever was with this guy. what i think you need to do it either A) dump him and move on get cleaned up and find a real man who can take you to the temple. or B) let him know you want to change clean up and if he doesnt like it than you just have to go with plan A. you will seem empty inside and depressed but that next time you open those scriptures or pray to your heavenly father you know without a doubt that what you did was right and you will never look back. you may not want to do this not but you cant always avoid the elephant in the room. heavenly father knows you. he knows your heart and your intentions but its up to you to act upon it. hell always make a way for you to return to him but wont force you into the gates of heaven. i wish you the best of luck and i hope after you pray you'll make the correct decision..

[captmoroniRM]

You've pretty much stated your problem in the response, emilyann. You keep saying "I've tried," over and over again. That and your wanting to delay repentance show that, in your heart, you don't want to give up whatever it is that is keeping you from actually overcoming it. Until you want to be rid of it, you won't. And I don't mean the kind of "wanting to be rid of it" that comes as because of our shame and guilt of what we've done. But the kind of wanting because it is separating you from the presence of your Heavenly Father, the kind of wanting to be rid of it because you know it offends your Heavenly Father. That kind of "wanting" makes a person willing to do whatever it takes, regardless of how much may hurt, or how hard it will be.

Though you may not be there yet, going to Church, reading your Scriptures, and praying are powerful tools to help get you there. They will help bring the Spirit more fully into your life and help awaken you to the understanding that sin offends God, and the consequences of our sins. You may not feel comfortable going in the beginning, like your a fish out of water. As you go and immerse yourself in the teachings of Christ, you'll learn that the real fish out of water is your pet sin. You'll realize that it doesn't belong in your life and more fully want to be rid of it, so you can finally be at peace with your Heavenly Father. It'll help you realize that only the Atonement of Christ can help you get rid of it, that you'll need His help.

[NeuroTypical]

I don't think you're a terrible person. I think you're a 24 year old girl with lots of hormones overriding your brain. You're not exactly the first person to be in your situation. If there's one bit of practical advice I can give, it's make sure you use multiple backup forms of birth control. Babies come from what you'e doing. And the last thing you want to do right now, is sentence some poor innocent kid to a lifetime of consequences from your hormonal being out of control. Have a kid when you're married - not now. You sound like someone who would feel bad about bringing a life into the world with the cards immediately stacked against her - higher chance of troubles with the law - higher chance of living in poverty - higher chance of following in your footsteps and getting pregnant out of wedlock. Please, for the love of that innocent life you're toying with - take precautions.

I KNOW that is absolutely terrible, but its at least honest.

Honesty is good. It's the beginning of repentence. If that's what you have to offer right now, I'm having a difficult time feeling that God would reject it.

Of course you can continue to come to church. Of course you can pray. You can always pray. Heavenly Father wants to have a relationship with all of His children - especially the ones who are following paths other than what He's laid out.

You are not a hypocrite by praying, coming to church, reading scriptures, going to institute, or availing yourself of any of the other paths that lead back to God. You would be a hypocrite if you pretended there was nothing wrong, or set yourself out there as an example of worthy discipleship. You might want to avoid praying in public for these reasons. But absolutely God wants to hear from you.

Desires to come back to God are blessings. Work with it.

When people come up to you, you can say "I'm not really in a good place right now - but I want to come to church and work on that." There's enough honesty for them - they should understand, and give you space.

Eventually, when you're ready to move to the next step and repent, you go to your Bishop and tell him what you've told us.

Good luck. Please don't make a kid.

LM

[Wingnut]

It feels hypocritical to you because it is hypocritical. But that doesn't mean you can't. You should definitely still read the scriptures and pray on your own. Go to church, but know that you may not be permitted to take the Sacrament (depending on your bishop's instructions) or hold a calling. But that certainly doesn't mean that you can't or shouldn't go.

I think that as you do these things, and stick with them, as you seem to want to, that you will feel a lot of personal conflict (or an increase in it) between what you know you should be doing and what you know is true, and the lifestyle and behavior you are currently engaged in. You may feel that you want to quit one or the other because they just don't jive together. Don't give up on what you know is right.

[Guest]

All the more you should go to church, embrace the scriptures, and do everything that can get you all the spiritual upliftment you can get.

Remember what God said - Cast your burdens upon me those who are heavily laden. Come to me and I will give you rest.

He is the one who can give you peace.

[Backroads]

Well, breaking the Law of Chastity IS a sin. That being said, it's difficult to go off sex when you're used to it... which is why it's so important to wait until marriage. It is a sin to decide you don't want to repent now, but I think you should follow what promptings you feel. If you feel you want to return to church, pray, etc, all of those things, for the love of all that is good, do it. Those things are good.

[ryanh]

I know it makes me a terrible person

Wrong! It does not make you a terrible person. It is disqualifying you for eternal blessings, and I would fear for your welfare were you to pass away now without a chance to fully repent. That's some pretty dangerous eternal roulette you are playing. But that doesn't make you any less valuable or important to our Heavenly Father, or the world. The adversary would have you tell yourself that you are terrible, and have you believe it that he might bind you into your path permanently. See: Satan's Secret Strategy and How We Fall for It

There are many things I would like to suggest to you in order to try to help, however, I'll only give my opinion in response to your opening question. It absolutely would not be wrong to attend church, institute, pray and study. Just the opposite!!! Those are imperatives to stay connected to the Spirit, and find the strength you need.

For anyone out there seeking the courage to repent and change, I remind you that the Church is not a monastery for the isolation of perfect people. It is more like a hospital provided for those who wish to get well. Do whatever you have to do to come into the fold and be blessed. "Come unto Me" Jeffrey R. Holland

On second thought, I can't post without commenting further on the situation you are in. I have a friend who was in a very similar position to where you are now. That was about 7 years ago. She gave in, and sincerely thought that she could repent later, and come back "soon". Before she knew it, it was 6 years later, many men later (some married), and hadn't been to church in all that time. She too was stalwart when young. Served a mission. Fully intended to be chaste until marrying in the temple. What she didn't realize at the time was that in stepping down the path of immorality, the light and truth she once knew "disappeared". The last year has been an extremely tough one for her to get back to a point where she is in full fellowship. Extremely hard.

Were she responding to you herself, I know she would adamantly tell you to stop now. Get married right away, or break up and change course. She would tell you that it will never be easier to do than it is right now - that the more entrenched you become in your pattern, the more difficult it will be to get out. She would warn you that while you may still be feeling spiritual promptings, those will diminish, and eventually, the light and knowledge you once had will dim. We cannot hold onto our testimonies and our spiritual knowledge without the help of the Spirit, and we won't have that help when we follow paths of sin. She recounts how, just six years later, some of her basic understanding that she heard over and over and over since primary is difficult to recall, and even more difficult to "feel". It's not because she is a bad person - it's because she's lost the light that was given to her by the Spirit.

The body of the natural man seems incapable of maintaining the substance of light, which is essential to spiritual life. That is our primary weakness, as Moroni pointed out. Whereas a resurrected celestial body “shall be filled with light, and there shall be no darkness in [it],” a mortal telestial body must receive ongoing transfusions of light in order to exist spiritually. Therein lies our answer.

Armed with this knowledge, we know how to defend ourselves and to heal from former sin. The Lord has told us how we can infuse light into our systems and thus protect ourselves. A few transfusion methods are scripture study, partaking of the sacrament, anointing with oil, charitable service, temple worship and, of course, prayer. The more our bodies are filled with light, the more we can comprehend all things, and the more we can detect and resist the onslaught of Satan’s temptations.

The Frightening Reality of Sin - Blog by Larry Barkdull

[Guest mormonmusic]

Go to Church and do all the things your heart is telling you, you would like to do Church-wise. That will expose you to strengthening thoughts that will help you finally repent. I don't think you should take the sacrament, however, or take on callings etcetera, but definitely, go and reconnect with your faith.

[kate86]

Thank you for all the responses and words of encouragement. I am shocked at how many people responded to try to help.

Part of me is afraid because I know that if I start going back I will get those conflicting feelings that so many spoke of, and I really just don't want things to change just yet. In a couple of months things can change and that will be doable, and its something that could be successful...but for them to change right now it would have to first tear my world apart. I'm just not willing to let that happen.

We are being extremely careful to use multiple forms of pregnancy prevention. I know its never 100% safe, but surely when you stack one method on top of the other on top of another the chances are pretty slim. I don't want to bring a child into an uncertain circumstance, and I know thats what it is at the moment...so we are being safe and doing many things to prevent pregnancy at this time.

I guess I will just continue to think things over for a little while and decide if I will go back now when I know I can't stop, or just wait until I can go back and commit to fixing everything. Either way I know that I shouldn't take the sacrament, accept a calling, or publically pray/speak (deifnately wouldn't feel comfortable doing that right now anyways). It is good to know that so many of you think that it wouldn't be wrong to go back now though. I very much appreciate your support.

Edited January 19, 2011 by emilyann
forgot to add something

[SeattleTruthSeeker]

Hi I am new to this site and this may seem like a silly question, but it is genuine. I am a 24 year old young woman and have been a member of the church my whole life. All through my youth I was an extremely active girl, president of all three young women's classes, graduated seminary with perfect attendance, etc. For the past couple of years however, i've been in a relationship where we do not keep the law of chastity. I still know the church is true, but when I am honest with myself I just don't want to live it right now. I will in the future but just not now. I KNOW that is absolutely terrible, but its at least honest. My question is...if I know that I am not trying to be clean, can I still go to church/read scriptures? I haven't in about 9 months because it just feels hypocritical. I know I can't take the sacrament, and I wouldn't, but I just want to go. I still feel the spirit from time to time, and I want to continue to learn...I just don't want to change that one part of my life. I follow everything else to a "T", just not that.

Would it be wrong to go to church and institute and study scriptures and even maybe pray?

When I was smoking, I kept telling myself that "Eventually I will quit,"

An Alcoholic says that he/she will eventually want to quit.

A gambler says to himself/herself, I will eventually quit, just not right now.

What do all of these have in common with what you are relating? The commonality is this: When we are doing things that are unhealthy and contrary to what we know to be right and true, we make excuses. We prolong and procrastinate.

While you ask a question of whether or not you ought to still go to church and yet maintain your lifestyle is like a married man asking if he should still remain married while cheating on his wife with another woman.

Yes, you are more than welcome to come to Church. Your boyfriend is more than welcome to come to Church.

Yet, the question is not whether or not you are able to come to church and read your scriptures, the question is are you willing to handle sitting in with your bishop and explaining your situation with him.

My wife and I were lucky. We had a very wonderful Bishop who encouraged us to continue to come to church.

Ask people here that know me and how much I was against the Church (yes, I used to be an apostate).

My wife and I used to live together before we were married. She was still asked by her bishop to wear her temple garments (she is an endowed member). We had hometeachers who came and talked with us. They did not condemn us, they accepted us and helped out us out as much as possible.

It was not until our Bishop finally said that we needed to marry. While we were already planning our marriage and how it was going to be, we prayed and realized that the best thing for us was to be married sooner than we had planned. It was a small wonderful ceremony. Nothing too extravagant. My wife made her own wedding cake, I wore a shirt and tie. We were married by our Bishop.

Soon after that we went through the repentance process, my wife was reinstated and then I was (well my records were straightened out after 15 some years, except for one detail that still needs to be fixed).

We both now are serving a calling in our new ward. We are now having FHE (not frequently, but we are working on it), and we are starting to abide by the Word of Wisdom (I have been smoke free for almost 2 years come this June).

Because of this, we now also have a wonderful 14 month old little girl that has changed our lives in ways we are just blessed with.

Do we still struggle? Yes, do we still have our own issues? You bet. Are we the typical Molly Mormon and Peter Mormon - Nope.

So, while you are more than welcome to come to Church and Ready your scriptures, you personally have to get to the point in your life to make a decision of what really is more important. Continue to live a life that is not in accordance with the Church standards and make excuses that you will eventually get around to changing, or willing to be open and honest with yourself that as you take small steps, they will lead you into a more fulfilling and happier life (not saying you are not happy).

The decision is ultimately up to you.

I encourage you to read the account of the Rich Young Ruler and the Prodigal Son. While you read the Rich Young Ruler, instead of thinking of wealth, think of your personal situation. Insert your name and situation in the context. Do this for the next thirty days (seriously, not kidding here) and then see what happens.

I wish you luck.

[wonderwoman1115]

In a couple of months things can change and that will be doable, and its something that could be successful...but for them to change right now it would have to first tear my world apart. I'm just not willing to let that happen.

the funny thing about this is that if you just trust in the lord he will always provide a way and it will always be "doable" just in a different way. he loves you unconditionally.. and wants nothing but the best for his princesses. we need to remember we were sent here to live a life for him. not in a year or couple months but now. if you have your patriarchal blessing it would remind you of the love and promises he has blessed you with..

you are a daughter of a king. royalty, do you think that royalty now on earth will jeperdise there chances of obtaining the thrown when they know the treasures there going to be blessed with after there crowned. no way. there going to do everything right to reach that goal. sad thing for them is if they mess up they cant repent and all will be forgotten (in a worldly sense) the media will destroy there chances before they can become clean. we are blessed with an amazing gift of the atonment. he died for us. he suffered for our sins. because he loves us..

wickedness never was happiness. and waiting till "your life is in order" is just nonsense. because saten will do everything in his power to prevent order in your life. leaving you persuaded that there will never be a right time to change. dont be foolish and just do it. walk away from the problem before its too late.

[Gramajane]

I'm thinking that there are two postitions that Satan wants us to take when we fall;

a. I'm too terrible to go to church, or pray or ___ at this time- later I will repent...

b. I'm just fine and a good person, I pray and read my scriptures and later I will take care of this "little detail"...

but either one of them leads us to not ----just "repent asap"!

--- which is the ONLY way to clean up our act, and like stains on clothing--

the longer the stain "sets" the harder it is to get it out--

also like a sliver in our finger, if we get it out asap, it is MUCH easier than waiting for

swollen, sore, infection that is hurting the rest of the whole body and can kill us if blood poisoning sets in!

-- so I suggest you get a piece of paper and write down the goods and bads if you go to the bishop right now,

and the goods and bads if you don't fix this asap!

I think you will find out that it is possibly selfishness and or pride that is the problem?

May God continue to bless you (and us all) with what is needed. Gramajane

[kate86]

I have already talked to my bishop many times...he knows everything that is going on. I met with him back in June just before I stopped going to church and nothing has changed since then...other than the not going to church part.

[Cosmicore]

While others condemn, the Lord knows all and is forgiving. Sometimes we need to go until it hurts. I'm currently inactive and despite the fact that I don't really know if the church is true or not anymore, I am planning on going until it hurts and maybe then I'll have a change of heart. You know what is right, but when you don't, God is there. God is always there regardless. Seek him out and continue to read your scriptures and pray and maybe God will change your heart if you sincerly desire it.

[Guest]

Thank you for all the responses and words of encouragement. I am shocked at how many people responded to try to help.

Part of me is afraid because I know that if I start going back I will get those conflicting feelings that so many spoke of, and I really just don't want things to change just yet. In a couple of months things can change and that will be doable, and its something that could be successful...but for them to change right now it would have to first tear my world apart. I'm just not willing to let that happen.

We are being extremely careful to use multiple forms of pregnancy prevention. I know its never 100% safe, but surely when you stack one method on top of the other on top of another the chances are pretty slim. I don't want to bring a child into an uncertain circumstance, and I know thats what it is at the moment...so we are being safe and doing many things to prevent pregnancy at this time.

I guess I will just continue to think things over for a little while and decide if I will go back now when I know I can't stop, or just wait until I can go back and commit to fixing everything. Either way I know that I shouldn't take the sacrament, accept a calling, or publically pray/speak (deifnately wouldn't feel comfortable doing that right now anyways). It is good to know that so many of you think that it wouldn't be wrong to go back now though. I very much appreciate your support.

I guess we don't understand what the difference is between now and 2 months from now? What's happening in 2 months that would make it "easier"?

[kate86]

I guess we don't understand what the difference is between now and 2 months from now? What's happening in 2 months that would make it "easier"?

He lives 2 states away, so when we see eachother we stay at eachother's apartment. Finances don't allow us to get a hotel....not that that would make it much better or easier to keep from doing things. In a few months he is moving here, will have his own place, and when it gets late, or things start getting shady or hard I can easily just take the 3 minute drive home. We can be together without "living" together in a few months= infinitely easier to stay clean.

[SeattleTruthSeeker]

He lives 2 states away, so when we see eachother we stay at eachother's apartment. Finances don't allow us to get a hotel....not that that would make it much better or easier to keep from doing things. In a few months he is moving here, will have his own place, and when it gets late, or things start getting shady or hard I can easily just take the 3 minute drive home. We can be together without "living" together in a few months= infinitely easier to stay clean.

I actually am very skeptical of this. The reality is that it will be much more easier for you than it will be harder. He will most likely not want to leave. Days will turn to weeks. Et all. And, I will have to disagree, it will be much more difficult to "stay clean" because where there is a will, there is a way.

What this actually tells me is that if you are not able to stop having sexual relations with your boyfriend while you guys are having a long distance relationship, then you honestly are not that concerned about living according to the Gospel Standards.

Granted, yes, my wife and I were living in sin before we were married -(and not to make excuses here), our decision to live together was more economical because I could not afford a place on my own, and she could not afford a place on her own. We decided to pool our resources together and move in.

The reality is that you have to come to the decision as to how important it is for you to return back to Church.

For my wife, she finally drew the line and I supported her in it. If your boyfriend truly does love you and respect you, and you are sincere in your desire to return to Church, then it should not wait 2 months down the road when he lives 3 minutes away from you, but it should be starting right now today. Little steps at a time. And, when you go and visit, or he goes and visits, you remove the temptation of being alone. What this will do is help you and your boyfriend out in remaining abstinent while courting one another.

The question I must ask here is if he is a member. If he is, then it would be good that he also works on his return back to the church. If he is not, then it will make it more difficult for you in your relationship - and sadly, speaking as a guy, he is going to use every word of persuasion to enable you to continue to participate in that which is not according to Gospel Standards.

The problem I have is that most people are not speaking openly and honestly. While we are not here to condemn, we ought to speak thoughtfully, honestly, and openly about what your situation is and what is more important.

All in all, it won't be much easier for you to stop the sexual relationship, contrary, it will enable you to become more active in your sexual relationship.

[kate86]

you honestly are not that concerned about living according to the Gospel Standards.

The problem I have is that most people are not speaking openly and honestly. While we are not here to condemn, we ought to speak thoughtfully, honestly, and openly about what your situation is and what is more important.

The entire point of my original post was to say that I am "honestly not that concerned about living according to Gospel Standards".....but is it wrong to go to church if I honestly don't want to follow that part of it. That was my question...you are pointing out things that I've already openly admitted and am fully aware of.

I am "honestly" saying that my situation is that I am having sex and I do not want to stop/will not stop for right now but I would possible like to start attending church again. Thats is about as open as it gets. I know that repenting SHOULD be more important, but it isn't. I honestly do not want it right now. I don't want to be happier, or feel better...I know thats wrong, but its honest.

Edited January 20, 2011 by emilyann
grammar mistake

[SeattleTruthSeeker]

The entire point of my original post was to say that I am "honestly not that concerned about living according to Gospel Standards".....but is it wrong to go to church if I honestly don't want to follow that part of it. That was my question...you are pointing out things that I've already openly admitted and am fully aware of.

I am "honestly" saying that my situation is that I am having sex and I do not want to stop/will not stop for right now but I would possible like to start attending church again. Thats is about as open as it gets.

I did read that and had forgotten you said that. You are correct. However, I still believe and will say this:

a) you can, and should, attend Church.

b) you can, and should, read your scriptures.

c) You can't expect the ward, leaders, and Bishop accept your lifestyle and what you have chosen.

d) You can't blame the ward, leaders, and Bishop for their counsel and advisement against how you are living your life.

e) You can expect that a decision will eventually need to be made where you have to choose between the Church and living the Gospel as opposed to living your life as you currently are, or vice versa.

f) You can expect that when you decide to become more serious about Church and participating in the repentance process and to be fully restored as a Member of the Restored Gospel that your relationship with your boyfriend will become more difficult and strained and will cause you more problems.

g) You can expect that as you become more involved with the Church and participate in the Church that temptation to revert back to your old habits will become more difficult and challenging for you to overcome.

h) You can expect that things will be difficult for a while and that heartbreak maybe on the horizon.

Those are the realities. Those are the things that have to be understood.

Choosing the Church and working on restoring your testimony, faith in Jesus Christ, and living more appropriately according to the Gospel Standards are going to offer you more blessings in your life than 15 minutes of passion and satisfaction.

[Guest]

He lives 2 states away, so when we see eachother we stay at eachother's apartment. Finances don't allow us to get a hotel....not that that would make it much better or easier to keep from doing things. In a few months he is moving here, will have his own place, and when it gets late, or things start getting shady or hard I can easily just take the 3 minute drive home. We can be together without "living" together in a few months= infinitely easier to stay clean.

I have some newsflash for you, Emily, regarding the above bolded lines. You are deluding yourself, girl!

Bottom line is - you are not ready to repent. There's no - oh, I will repent later. Not happening.

So yeah, of course you can continue to go to church. And that's what you should do. But, I'm just going to warn you right now - the giant discepancy between the lessons you will receive at Church will become drastically juxtaposed with the life you are leading and will cause you great conflict and guilt.

This is what we want. So that it will be an impetus for you to change. And if you embrace Christ, you will change.

The warning is - if you wait until that time to change, you are in for a lot of hurt.

If you change now - it will not be as bad - especially with him 2 states over.

I know it is difficult. It is insanely difficult to stop. But take it from the ones who have been there, done that - if you think it is difficult now, just wait until you see how difficult it can still get. It can be a decision that will prepare you for bigger decisions to come. Once you are married, with children, and all that stuff - the decisions are just going to get much harder and if you can't take a stand now you'll have to walk the refiners fire to take a bigger stand later.

You can make it easy. Just say NO! Really! See what your boyfriend says... I'm interested to know...

Edited January 20, 2011 by anatess

[SeattleTruthSeeker]

I have some newsflash for you, Emily, regarding the above bolded lines. You are deluding yourself, girl!

Bottom line is - you are not ready to repent. There's no - oh, I will repent later. Not happening.

So yeah, of course you can continue to go to church. And that's what you should do. But, I'm just going to warn you right now - the giant discepancy between the lessons you will receive at Church will become drastically juxtaposed with the life you are leading and will cause you great conflict and guilt.

This is what we want. So that it will be an impetus for you to change. And if you embrace Christ, you will change.

The warning is - if you wait until that time to change, you are in for a lot of hurt.

If you change now - it will not be as bad - especially with him 2 states over.

I know it is difficult. It is insanely difficult to stop. But take it from the ones who have been there, done that - if you think it is difficult now, just wait until you see how difficult it can still get. It can be a decision that will prepare you for bigger decisions to come. Once you are married, with children, and all that stuff - the decisions are just going to get much harder and if you can't take a stand now you'll have to walk the refiners fire to take a bigger stand later.

You can make it easy. Just say NO! Really! See what your boyfriend says... I'm interested to know...

It is good to know that I am not the only that finds this recent revelation somewhat troubling. We know she is not going to stop so my question is why bother asking this here and then insist that they are being sincere. These types of things set up red flags that we catch and call people on.