Mission right for everyone?

[mmaverick]

So I've heard it said that a mission, "if it's right for you", will happen. Problem with that is that a mission is a "priesthood duty, an obligation". Therefore, it is right for you if you hold the priesthood, and so there is a way.

I was baptized about 4 months ago. I've been dating an amazing girl for a little less than that. Well, even though it would be really hard for her, she has told me she would try to wait for me if I served a mission. I hope she would, but I also know I can't use that as a criteria.

Couple that problem with this though: My brother is 4 years younger than myself, and has Down Syndrome. Neither of my parents are members, and my mom left my dad about 10 years ago. Since then, I've been the one to help my dad out with my brother. It's not easy for him to be able to go to work all the time if my brother gets sick, or if school is out, or if my dad has to work on a weekend, or in the evening. I live at home and attend a University 15 min from where I live so I can help my dad.

Another thing is that I'm a philosophy major. I can't really do anything with that, so I'll have to go get another degree in something else. I would like to get a law degree, and I have considered finding an accredited online program to do that. My dad is not in great health, and always intimates that he's just hanging on until he knows I can take care of myself and my brother, then he's ready to check-out.

I have no problem with serving a mission. I don't know much, but I know the Spirit would guide me. I don't have any problems with giving up everything material. I've learned plenty of patience from taking care of my brother. Nothing about actually serving a mission scares me. What I worry about is my family. I don't feel like I can leave my dad and my brother here on their own and put myself 2 years father back from being able to take care of myself. If I stay I can still take care of my brother. Work and go to school, help my dad pay for me to get another degree. Also, if I stay, my girlfriend would probably transfer to the school I go to, would live nearby, and help me help my family even more.

I'm worthy, I'm physically and mentally able. But am I able to do this to my family?

[mmaverick]

So I've heard it said that a mission, "if it's right for you", will happen. Problem with that is that a mission is a "priesthood duty, an obligation". Therefore, it is right for you if you hold the priesthood, and so there is a way.

I was baptized about 4 months ago. I've been dating an amazing girl for a little less than that. Well, even though it would be really hard for her, she has told me she would try to wait for me if I served a mission. I hope she would, but I also know I can't use that as a criteria.

Couple that problem with this though: My brother is 4 years younger than myself, and has Down Syndrome. Neither of my parents are members, and my mom left my dad about 10 years ago. Since then, I've been the one to help my dad out with my brother. It's not easy for him to be able to go to work all the time if my brother gets sick, or if school is out, or if my dad has to work on a weekend, or in the evening. I live at home and attend a University 15 min from where I live so I can help my dad.

Another thing is that I'm a philosophy major. I can't really do anything with that, so I'll have to go get another degree in something else. I would like to get a law degree, and I have considered finding an accredited online program to do that. My dad is not in great health, and always intimates that he's just hanging on until he knows I can take care of myself and my brother, then he's ready to check-out.

I have no problem with serving a mission. I don't know much, but I know the Spirit would guide me. I don't have any problems with giving up everything material. I've learned plenty of patience from taking care of my brother. Nothing about actually serving a mission scares me. What I worry about is my family. I don't feel like I can leave my dad and my brother here on their own and put myself 2 years father back from being able to take care of myself. If I stay I can still take care of my brother. Work and go to school, help my dad pay for me to get another degree. Also, if I stay, my girlfriend would probably transfer to the school I go to, would live nearby, and help me help my family even more.

I'm worthy, I'm physically and mentally able. But am I able to do this to my family?

[skippy740]

Share your concerns with your Bishop. Just because the rest of your family aren't members doesn't mean that members of the ward can't help out somehow.

Try to brainstorm with him. Keep in mind that (last I checked), you'd need to be a member for at least 12 months before being eligible to serve a mission. You have time for you and the Lord to figure things out.

[NeuroTypical]

Hi Mmaverick,

Just briefly, I decided to not go on a mission, because of my mom's failing health, and I was the one to help my dad. Two things I'd like to mention:

- Even though I didn't go, here I am covenentally sealed with two kids and active in the church.

- If I had it to do over again, I would have gone on the mission.

I do not believe "if it's right for you it will happen". I believe a mission would have been right for me - but I chose otherwise. It takes choice and effort to make the mission happen.

Happy choosing!

[rameumptom]

You definitely need to discuss this with both your bishop and your father. Get their input on this. It may be that the ward can help your Dad with your brother, and with the finances of your mission while you are gone.

Or, your bishop may determine that your mission is to take care of your brother. Get input from those involved, or who need to be involved, so you make the best decision with all the data you need to make that decision.

More college can always come later. I received my Master's degree when I was about 40 years of age. So, you can always do more later, as needed.

[Wingnut]

You might reconsider law school. There is an overabundance of unemployed law grads right now.

[Just_A_Guy]

Mmaverick, as far as I know there aren't any ABA-approved online law degree programs (and you really don't want to go through a non-ABA-approved law school). If you can't commit to a full time law program but want the law degree, consider a school with a four-year, part-time program. That's what my cousin did and it worked out well for him. (Right up until he blew his client trust account on bad investments, got disbarred, and went to prison. But up until then, he was doing great.)

Edited February 6, 2011 by Just_A_Guy

[pam]

I do apologize. I know that is a sad story...but where is the laugh button.

[john doe]

I suggest you counsel with your local leaders (bishop and/or Stake President) while in the process of making this important decision. We can all encourage or discourage you in this matter, but ultimately we are not close enough to the situation to give you anything more than generalized advice.

[Mute]

That is a really hard choice to make. I respect your devotion to your brother. That is admirable. You've placed the responsibility to take care of your brother on yourself. However, you do need to have a chance to live your own life. I'm not saying don't care for your brother or don't do it if you are the only one who can. If you really want to go on a mission though, is there any way your mother could take care of your brother while you're away?

If you feel there is a good chance your family will not be able to make it without you, then I may not go unless you can find some help for them while you're away. Family is important. Maybe people in the church could help though or is there anyone you know and trust that could help take care of your brother while you go on a mission? Just make sure you go for you and that it's what you want to do. Good luck in your decision. I hope it works out for you.

[mmaverick]

I do apologize. I know that is a sad story...but where is the laugh button.

What do you find funny?

[Just_A_Guy]

I think she was referring to what I said about my cousin, Mmaverick.

[Backroads]

Speaking of two guys I know: My cousin's husband, and an ex-boyfriend of mine. They did not serve reasons for family reasons. My cousin's husband's father had just passed away and he felt it was more vital to say home and help with the family than serve a mission. One of the most spiritual, stalwart men I know. Ex-boyfriend: Young sibling was going through chemo. Again decided to skip the mission for the time being in order to stay with the family. It's not as if either of them were trying to avoid the mission--they say if things would have been different they would have gone on missions in a heartbeat.

Discuss it with a bishop and others, pray about it, think about it, use your good sense.

[pam]

I think she was referring to what I said about my cousin, Mmaverick.

That's exactly what I was referring to. I should have quoted to make it more clear. I assumed it would be since my response immediately followed JAGs.