Compassion

[zippy_do46]

Are we as a nation losing our compassion for others? Is it because we see compassion as a sign of weakness? Is our ability to shift our thoughts of thinking the best of people something we can change in these times? There are many that will take avantage of what they see as a weakness in our world today.

Teaching our children about compassion today is tough. We are told to "love one another" and yet we must teach them to not listen to those who ask for help in some cases.

What do you think?

Edited April 13, 2011 by zippy_do46

[pam]

I've heard it said many times by different GA's that compassion is being willing to assist the downtrodden but to not provide a constant handout. It's having the patience and the willingness to assist but to also teach them how to get out of the situation they are in.

Kind of like the welfare system of the church. It's not about free handouts. It's to assist when needed but it's also teaching about budgeting and provident living.

[Dravin]

We are told to "love one another" and yet we must teach them to not listen to those who ask for help in some cases.

That reminds me of my sister, if you don't agree with her you aren't listening. One can listen to someone without agreeing with them or giving them what they ask for, or giving it to them in the way they want. To be fair, one can not give people what they ask for, their terms or yours, without listening to them.

[HEthePrimate]

We are told to "love one another" and yet we must teach them to not listen to those who ask for help in some cases.

Must we? Perhaps we need to be wise about how we help people, but not ignore them!

[Bini]

I think knowing your personal limitations is important as well. If you spread yourself too thin, you're no help to others or yourself. Being functional is a necessity for everyone to be successful. If I cannot provide 100% effort to a certain cause because the cause is a bigger burden than I know I can handle, it's best to pick my battles, realise I can't save the entire world, and choose efforts that I can successfully aide in.

[HEthePrimate]

I think knowing your personal limitations is important as well. If you spread yourself too thin, you're no help to others or yourself. Being functional is a necessity for everyone to be successful. If I cannot provide 100% effort to a certain cause because the cause is a bigger burden than I know I can handle, it's best to pick my battles, realise I can't save the entire world, and choose efforts that I can successfully aide in.

That is so true! Sometimes I want to help, but find myself feeling overwhelmed. Like you said, we need to pick our battles and keep ourselves operational if we are to be of any use to other people. :)

Peace.

[beefche]

I think knowing your personal limitations is important as well. If you spread yourself too thin, you're no help to others or yourself. Being functional is a necessity for everyone to be successful. If I cannot provide 100% effort to a certain cause because the cause is a bigger burden than I know I can handle, it's best to pick my battles, realise I can't save the entire world, and choose efforts that I can successfully aide in.

Although I agree with the thought behind this, I disagree that you must give 100% of yourself in every cause. Sometimes all that is needed is 20% of your efforts. Case in point...I have 2 callings right now that I struggle with. I give what I can to them when I can and it is enough. It certainly isn't 100%, but when I can devote time to a particular calling, I'm there 100%. I KNOW that my efforts are needed at this time for those callings. And I'm certain that the Lord understands my limitations and why I can't give 100% to those callings every time it's needed.

I just worry that people think if we aren't "perfect" in giving service, then it's better to not give at all. I have never found that to be true. Our family has had HT and VT over the years who were far from perfect. But the 10% they did for us was sufficient and very welcome--and life changing. I am a firm believer that we may never know the impact we can have on others for things we think are flimsy efforts or less than steller attempts. The Lord needs US, imperfect and whiny mortals that we are.

[Bini]

Although I agree with the thought behind this, I disagree that you must give 100% of yourself in every cause. Sometimes all that is needed is 20% of your efforts. Case in point...I have 2 callings right now that I struggle with. I give what I can to them when I can and it is enough. It certainly isn't 100%, but when I can devote time to a particular calling, I'm there 100%. I KNOW that my efforts are needed at this time for those callings. And I'm certain that the Lord understands my limitations and why I can't give 100% to those callings every time it's needed.

I just worry that people think if we aren't "perfect" in giving service, then it's better to not give at all. I have never found that to be true. Our family has had HT and VT over the years who were far from perfect. But the 10% they did for us was sufficient and very welcome--and life changing. I am a firm believer that we may never know the impact we can have on others for things we think are flimsy efforts or less than steller attempts. The Lord needs US, imperfect and whiny mortals that we are.

Beefche, I think I should have phrased it more delicately. We should do the best that we can. Of course you can't give 100% of yourself every single time. I can't and don't do that in my marriage, as some days I only have 50% to give and others I have 150% to give. Bottomline, know your limitations and with the battles you pick (so to speak), give it your best shot.

[zippy_do46]

I like the way this thread went and maybe in a way these are the answers to what I had in mind.

The other day we passed a corner on the road and saw several men on the corners holding signs. My grandchildren were in the car beside me. They asked about these men. They were holding up signs asking for money and for food. My grandson asked me if we were going to give them money. I explained that we were not going to. This corner is also where the red light is. We had to stop. :)

The discussion started like this:

"OK , Nannie, we are suppose to help those that need us, right?"

:) Nothing like "out of the mouth of babes"

We walk a fine line of of giving in our world. There is alot of danger and we must teach our children to know that danger. I explained to them that we must be very careful when people ask for something.

Edited April 13, 2011 by zippy_do46

[zippy_do46]

Maybe this is where picking your battles comes in.

"I love the song "Because I have Been Given Much" This song seems to pop into my head when I see a need. Sometimes it has been there before the need is expressed.

[NeuroTypical]

Teaching our children about compassion today is tough. We are told to "love one another" and yet we must teach them to not listen to those who ask for help in some cases.

We must? According to who? Which cases?

Teaching kids about compassion in intertiwned with teaching them about the human condition and educating them about the horrible things that we do to ourselves and each other. It's also necessary to teach the difference between help (as in providing food, shelter, clothing, job training, etc.) and enabling (helping homeless folks support their addictions and chosen lifestyle, etc.) From what I see in my kids, a lack of compassion isn't a problem. Knowing what actually helps vs. what doesn't help is what's lacking. Misplaced compassion helps keep a lot of addicts in a position to support their addiction.

They were holding up signs asking for money and for food. My grandson asked me if we were going to give them money. I explained that we were not going to. This corner is also where the red light is. We had to stop. :)

The discussion started like this:

"OK , Nannie, we are suppose to help those that need us, right?"

:) Nothing like "out of the mouth of babes"

I carry a stack of "you are invited to a free meal" cards in my wallet, giving directions to the rescue mission. It's a great teaching moment to hand a cardboard sign guy one of these things, only to have them wave it aside and demand money. It's important for kids to see that some people will try to pull compassion out of you through decietful means.

Our church welfare system provides a great pattern to follow. Anyone who can be self-reliant, should be self-reliant. Anyone having problems being self-reliant, the church helps, if they are willing to work for it, and have a goal of eventual self-reliance.

When we woke up to news of the Japanese earthquake, I pulled my kids aside and let them know that without even getting up from the couch, our family was already helping in three different ways. First, our donations to the church's humanitarian aid fund would certainly be put to good use. Second, as a citizen of one of the most generous and charitable nations on earth, our tax money would be paying for the various govt relief efforts that would soon be headed to Japan. Finally, I assumed the place I work would be writing out a check to a relief agency and setting up a matching fund deal for employees (and they did).

Edited April 13, 2011 by Loudmouth_Mormon

[zippy_do46]

We must? According to who? Which cases?

Teaching kids about compassion in intertiwned with teaching them about the human condition and educating them about the horrible things that we do to ourselves and each other. It's also necessary to teach the difference between help (as in providing food, shelter, clothing, job training, etc.) and enabling (helping homeless folks support their addictions and chosen lifestyle, etc.) From what I see in my kids, a lack of compassion isn't a problem. Knowing what actually helps vs. what doesn't help is what's lacking. Misplaced compassion helps keep a lot of addicts in a position to support their addiction.

I carry a stack of "you are invited to a free meal" cards in my wallet, giving directions to the rescue mission. It's a great teaching moment to hand a cardboard sign guy one of these things, only to have them wave it aside and demand money. It's important for kids to see that some people will try to pull compassion out of you through decietful means.

The very reason we must teach them as much as we can because if not then others will teach through their actions or reactions to what our children do. There does come a point when our children will have to decide how they will do something.

When we woke up to news of the Japanese earthquake, I pulled my kids aside and let them know that without even getting up from the couch, our family was already helping in three different ways. First, our donations to the church's humanitarian aid fund would certainly be put to good use. Second, as a citizen of one of the most generous and charitable nations on earth, our tax money would be paying for the various govt relief efforts that would soon be headed to Japan. Finally, I assumed the place I work would be writing out a check to a relief agency and setting up a matching fund deal for employees (and they did).

I loved the way you did this. Compassion in action and a lesson well taught. :) Edited April 13, 2011 by zippy_do46