scdoyle Posted June 30, 2011 Report Share Posted June 30, 2011 My wife's grandfather recently passed away and I was asked to help with dressing his body in his temple clothes. I have never done this before and the thought of it creeps me out a little. I've never felt comfortable at viewings that proceed funerals. I usually try to avoid going into the viewing room where the body is on display. If anyone who has done this before can give me some advice on what to expect or how to handle it I would appreciate it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarginOfError Posted June 30, 2011 Report Share Posted June 30, 2011 Ask your clerk to get you a copy of Instructions for clothing the dead Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truegrits Posted June 30, 2011 Report Share Posted June 30, 2011 My sister and I dressed our mother. It was a very emotional task to get through, for us. We would cry, remembering things that she had done, and we would laugh, remembering things she had done. Knowing our mother, we KNEW she would not have wanted anyone else to do it. We, as daughters, would not have wanted anyone else doing this last, and very special service. It is a poignant and loving memory that we share, and are thankful that we had that opportunity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted June 30, 2011 Report Share Posted June 30, 2011 My wife's grandfather recently passed away and I was asked to help with dressing his body in his temple clothes. I have never done this before and the thought of it creeps me out a little. I've never felt comfortable at viewings that proceed funerals. I usually try to avoid going into the viewing room where the body is on display. If anyone who has done this before can give me some advice on what to expect or how to handle it I would appreciate it.It will probably be done under the direction of the funeral home director. It doesn't really take that long. It's a dignified service that you provide to your loved one, and if done with the right attitude is actually a beautiful thing. But it all depends on your own mindset and your relationship to the deceased.I helped to dress my dad before his funeral, while my mother and sister watched. It is a sacred memory. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applepansy Posted June 30, 2011 Report Share Posted June 30, 2011 Was your wife's grandfather an endowed member? Are you endowed? Often the mortuary will dress the body in everything but the priesthood robes. It is a very spiritual and sacred experience. We dressed my son. He was 21 when he died and not endowed. It was a healing time. I participated more than my husband did but it helped him too. I don't have a problem being around a body. It was part of my job. I do understand the feelings though. The body is sacred. When in the presence of someone who is deceased I often get the feeling that they are close. Its a very sacred and spiritual experience for me. If you think of the body as a car without a driver it might help. If you really have a problem being around a body then I would suggest bringing that up before hand. It would be better that you let people know, especially your wife's family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwen Posted June 30, 2011 Report Share Posted June 30, 2011 I have participated in this process twice. I found it to be a very spiritual experience. Neither time was for a family member, I was RS pres at the time and was there to assist the family for one of them and there was no family for the other. I suggest you pray about it before and try to change how you view it. The only thing that makes it creepy is how you view the situation. There should be more than you there so if it really is just to much for you then you can step back and just observe. It's not something you are forced to do. Hopefully you can see it as an honor but I know for some it's just more than they can handle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwen Posted June 30, 2011 Report Share Posted June 30, 2011 Often the mortuary will dress the body in everything but the priesthood robes.I think this depends on where you are and the mortuary's experience with LDS. With the 2 I helped with we did everything. The one mortuary (the one where there was no family) was upset we wanted to do it and they refused to help us at all. They took us to a room where she was and left us. The second there was a daughter there and we were helping her. The mortuary was very helpful and respectful. That went much smoother and the spirit was very strong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scdoyle Posted June 30, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 30, 2011 Was your wife's grandfather an endowed member? Are you endowed? Yes and yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted June 30, 2011 Report Share Posted June 30, 2011 (edited) My wife's grandfather recently passed away and I was asked to help with dressing his body in his temple clothes. I have never done this before and the thought of it creeps me out a little. I've never felt comfortable at viewings that proceed funerals. I usually try to avoid going into the viewing room where the body is on display. If anyone who has done this before can give me some advice on what to expect or how to handle it I would appreciate it. Is this the grandfather on her father's side? Paul's father? Edited June 30, 2011 by pam Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just_A_Guy Posted June 30, 2011 Report Share Posted June 30, 2011 Required reading. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scdoyle Posted June 30, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 30, 2011 (edited) Is this the grandfather on her father's side? Paul's father? It's Don Bailey. Edited June 30, 2011 by pam Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted June 30, 2011 Report Share Posted June 30, 2011 It's Don Bailey. Oh my gosh. I'm so so sorry. Give Barbara a hug for me.*I had just realized I edited instead of quoting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scdoyle Posted June 30, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 30, 2011 Required reading.Thanks JAG!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applepansy Posted June 30, 2011 Report Share Posted June 30, 2011 Required reading.Thank you. That was beautiful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lost123 Posted July 2, 2011 Report Share Posted July 2, 2011 Please allow yourself to have this experience. When I had this experience with my grandmother I remembered the job of those who wrapped Jesus's body for burial and what an honor and privilege it was to do something so sacred. I have been to many many funerals and have to say that I love what I learn from each one. I grew up in a country where the whole family sleeps in the same room as the deceased body and where it is common place to give a kiss on the forehead to the deceased out of love and respect. I guess for me, it is comfortable and common place. There is nothing scary, in my opinion about it. It is a new experience for you and so feeling uncomfortable is natural. But instead of thinking of your own comfort...think of the love of the person who is deceased and the love you have for the family in mourning. Besides, when you realize that the body is something sacred - it helps you appreciate the situation. My advice...think of not being self centered in this situation. Think of it as a privilege. What can you expect. The body is generally pale, has some makeup put on to give some color, is cold (at least I think it does). It will smell a little of fermaldahide (spelling?). Drown out your thoughts of all this and remember the life of the person and the love you have for them. IMO, I think it helps in the grieving process to be involved in the handling of the body or to be able to be part of viewing the body. It is paying your respects. I am happy you have this opportunity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scdoyle Posted July 6, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 6, 2011 Well, I did it and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. At first it was a little creepy seeing his body on the table, but once we got started it started to actually feel good. There were a couple of times I felt as if he was watching and saying "thank you" to me for dressing his body. The only thing I would change about the experience would be to have more help. There were 3 of us and it was pretty difficult to move his body to get his clothes on. All-in-all a good experience. Thanks everyone for the advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Sachi001 Posted July 6, 2011 Report Share Posted July 6, 2011 Members of my ward were asked to dress our HPGL who died from a heart attack a month ago. When he died they did not know the cause so an autopsy was done by the county. They did not sew him up properly and was blood laden all over. He was cremated shortly after he was dressed. They said it was an ugly sight to behold. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avrham Posted July 6, 2011 Report Share Posted July 6, 2011 I have had the honour of dressing both my fathers step/biological I and my brother helped dress them it was very spiritual and I was grateful too be allowed the privilege of respecting both men ,my fathers it was the least I could do after all they did teach me how too ride a bike and wiped my bottom doing father/son fishing trips and so on:):) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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