Law of Chasity

[dmr222]

I was inactive for a while and I experienced things that i never thought i would. I did have sex with multiple men. To be specific its been four. I am now attending byui and i wont be back for another 5 months for my break. and i had sex before i came up to school and im scared to tell my bishop because i am afraid that i will not be able to attend byui my winter semester. PLEASE HELP!!!!

[Daybreak79]

There is nothing we can do to help you, other than offer support! Go talk to your Bishop, it's the only way you will resolve this issue.

[pam]

DayBreak is absolutely correct. Not one of us on this website can assist you with this issue.

[thorn25]

i just want to know if i will be able attend byui again. I have a 5 month break and im worrying if it's enough time to repent and be able to come bak to school.

[dmr222]

My biggest concern is not being able to coem back to byui. I have a 5 month break and i want to know if that will be enough time to repent and be able to come back to school

[pam]

Couldn't remember what username you needed to use to post on this thread..dmr222.errrr thorn25?

Edited July 15, 2011 by pam

[Guest]

The eternal consequences of not repenting would be far worse than maybe missing some school. Repentance will take as long as it needs to.

[Backroads]

There's plenty of other schools and I know that BYU-Idaho does have some probation situations that could work out for you.

[Suzie]

My biggest concern is not being able to coem back

Sorry but I think you have bigger concerns than college. I'm not dismissing your concern, but your issues with chastity goes beyond whether or not you can attend college in the winter.

[Blocky]

If you're worried about how long it will take for the repentance process, it's generally true that the easiest time to repent is today. The longer you wait, the harder it is.

I agree, as someone who was in your almost same shoes, but not at a church affiliated school, repentance, no longer how short or long is eternally more important than saving face or finishing school sooner.

Edited July 16, 2011 by Blocky

[slamjet]

PLEASE HELP!!!!

And what help are you seeking from this forum, absolution? This thread doesn't feel right or legit.

[Guest Sachi001]

My biggest concern is not being able to coem back to byui. I have a 5 month break and i want to know if that will be enough time to repent and be able to come back to school

Only a representative of the Lord can discern such. You need to see the Bishop for counseling as you may spiritually fail again, and then risk losing all chance of going to any college. Especially if you wind up pregnant. Is the risk of a short physical exchange vs. losing time of college because you will have to attend to motherhood duties? Wise up!

[LDSJewess]

And what help are you seeking from this forum, absolution? This thread doesn't feel right or legit.

I agree Slamjet. I have wondered for a while about the legitimacy of a number of similar posts.

I am not judging here; rather making an observation.

One of the things that appeals to people investigating the church is the high moral standards that are not only set by the church, but also to the standards members set for themselves.

I have to say that I visit a lot of internet message boards from Jewish Boards, Beauty Pageant Boards, Health and Fitness Boards, Travel Boards, Political and social action Boards, you name it.

But I have yet to visit another message forum where there is such an extreme focus on people telling all about their sex lives from having sex with multiple partners like on this OP, to mastrubation, porn addiction etc:

Seriously, for a new investigator of the church, one may come across this forum and think that LDS people think of nothing but sex, and that Bishops are sex therapists.

The content of some of the posts look more like a transcript of the Jerry Springer show rather than a religious forum.

Maybe it is my chronological age or sense of maturity, but I don't know people from any religion, including athiests, that have such need to discuss their personal life on a public forum.

Which of course leads me to wonder about the reality or legitimacy of some of the posts here.

[lost123]

I agree LDSJewess. It is shocking how so many details are revealed of personal transgressions on this site. I think it is probably because it is an anonymous posting and whereas people wouldn't tell people openly about such issues they feel like they can anonymously. I think you would find the same thing posted for those of religions who hold a high moral code. For those religions who don't, many will openly (and sometimes proudly) discuss such transgressions in parties or amongst peers. Sadly so.

It is true that most every post of such a nature here shouldn't really be discussed here but with their ecclesiastic leader and the Lord. Those are the ones that have jurisdiction in the repentance process. Yet, every person's journey to become clean is different. The medication of the Lord's sacrifice and atonement is the same. To get to that point, some are confused, in the dark, afraid and need encouragement and/or clarification of how to proceed. The underlying theme seems to be the same - the desire to be in alignment with the Lord's commandments. Therefore...if this forum provides that encouragement to get there then it is one step in the right direction for these people.

The truth is that in this world of sin, no matter what religion you are in there are going to be cases of transgression. This is no different in the LDS faith. Yet, the beauty of it all is that Christ paid the price for each one of us if we just turn to him, repent, and let his grace be sufficient to be made whole again.

To the young woman from BYU-I....the message I hope you get from this is that as you take responsibility for your actions, turn to the Lord, and seek help to do this through your Bishop, you will be able to bear the consequences. The consequences are there to help you - not to hurt you. It may be a long hard road but the sooner you are on it.........the sooner the relief......and the faster the blessings of the gospel will be yours. Don't deceive yourself by waiting. Don't heap sin upon sin by deceiving those at the school when you know that your very character rests upon your integrity. Have courage.

[moocow]

I go there too and am in a similar situation. believe me this is a legitimate concern. there are MANY of us here struggling with this issue. repentance is made harder when you are at a church school because it means losing thousands of dollars, literally, along with the usual stuff that comes with church discipline and repentance. I love repentance, don't get me wrong. i would LOVE to just confess and be done. but if you were in our shoes, you would see the predicament. I am a week away from graduating. That sucks if I got kicked out now. Kind of makes you think right?

[skalenfehl]

If anything it makes me think more about what people's greater priorities are nowadays.

[skalenfehl]

It actually makes me think about what the real priorities of college goers are nowadays.

[pam]

In defense of the many who post here about sexual transgressions, masturbation, pornography, etc. While some may go to other boards such as travel boards, fitness boards, gaming sites and other sites of interest, I would presume that subjects such as masturbation etc are not the concern that people of the LDS faith have because of our teachings.

The world tries to tell us that masturbation is not bad, that premarital sex is okay. Yet we, as LDS, know better.

Is this a problem only among the LDS population? Absolutely not. LDS do not have the monopoly on sexual issues. Yet because we are taught the seriousness of these types of transgressions while a great part of the world are teaching that they are no big deal is a reason we see these kinds of conversations in abundance here.

People come here to use the anonymity because they want to hear a perspective from the one group of people they need to hear it from. LDS

How much more in general conferences are we hearing these topics mentioned as time goes on? It is a problem. Yet the world doesn't see it at the magnitude that we do.

So let's have some patience, love and understanding of the many who post here and ask for advice. What is the best way we can help them? Getting them to understand the importance of seeking councel from their local leaders. Cut and dry in my opinion. Even on this LDS board we have such a diversity of opinion as to what is considered large and small transgressions. Not for us to decide. We do more harm than good in making blanket statements about these types of issues.

Those that come here to make a joke out of it, their agenda is quick to come to the surface and the moderators will deal with them. But I would never want anyone who is honestly struggling to think that they can't come here and ask for advice. I would rather they come here and ask, than to go to another board where those site members are of the world and be told "you are making too big of a deal out of it."

Edited July 17, 2011 by pam

[Backroads]

I go there too and am in a similar situation. believe me this is a legitimate concern. there are MANY of us here struggling with this issue. repentance is made harder when you are at a church school because it means losing thousands of dollars, literally, along with the usual stuff that comes with church discipline and repentance. I love repentance, don't get me wrong. i would LOVE to just confess and be done. but if you were in our shoes, you would see the predicament. I am a week away from graduating. That sucks if I got kicked out now. Kind of makes you think right?

It does make me think, and I can see your perspective.

But I hate to say something else, but here it goes: If you were so concerned about the tuition/graduation/etc, why did you break the law of chastity in the first place?

[LDSJewess]

In defense of the many who post here about sexual transgressions, masturbation, pornography, etc. While some may go to other boards such as travel boards, fitness boards, gaming sites and other sites of interest, I would presume that subjects such as masturbation etc are not the concern that people of the LDS faith have because of our teachings.

The world tries to tell us that masturbation is not bad, that premarital sex is okay. Yet we, as LDS, know better.

Is this a problem only among the LDS population? Absolutely not. LDS do not have the monopoly on sexual issues. Yet because we are taught the seriousness of these types of transgressions while a great part of the world are teaching that they are no big deal is a reason we see these kinds of conversations in abundance here.

People come here to use the anonymity because they want to hear a perspective from the one group of people they need to hear it from. LDS

How much more in general conferences are we hearing these topics mentioned as time goes on? It is a problem. Yet the world doesn't see it at the magnitude that we do.

So let's have some patience, love and understanding of the many who post here and ask for advice. What is the best way we can help them? Getting them to understand the importance of seeking councel from their local leaders. Cut and dry in my opinion. Even on this LDS board we have such a diversity of opinion as to what is considered large and small transgressions. Not for us to decide. We do more harm than good in making blanket statements about these types of issues.

Those that come here to make a joke out of it, their agenda is quick to come to the surface and the moderators will deal with them. But I would never want anyone who is honestly struggling to think that they can't come here and ask for advice. I would rather they come here and ask, than to go to another board where those site members are of the world and be told "you are making too big of a deal out of it."

Pam,

I apologize for being hasty to judge. Truly it sems difficult for me to understand why so many have such emotional suffering and pondering over sexual issues.

I can say that from a biological and logical standpoint that so much emphasis is plased in the issue, than one would think it could get in the way of prayer, learning and service God in so many ways.

Regardless of our religious affiliation, it is statistically a fact that approximately 90 percent of all males from age 14 to 25 have at some time in their lives mastrubated. Also that men think about sex at least once per day. Considering that some of these men are not old enough to be married and some that are old enough are single; are we to assume that such a high percentage of males are sinful?

Is this sinful in and of itself? I don't have the answer to that. I consider the fac that this is very biological in nature. It is my personal belief that this biological and hormonal urge has nothing about being tempted by the devil. I do question why men have such urges more so than women, but the consensus is that they do have a much higher libido at an earlier age than women do. They are wired this way. They came into the Earth in their bodies this way.

Does this mean that I think they should use these urges recklessly? Of course not.

But I do believe that thinking of sex non stop and being addicted to porn, (but I would need to hear what the definition of addiction is in this case), would hinder one from placing their thoughts upon God and serving him. However, it is equalling hindering if the person who not only thinks or acts upon sex, will then spend even more time in guilt and ponderance of the issue until they are consumed by 1sr their biological urges and 2nd their feelings of guilt.

Mastrubation, thinking about sex etc: is not worldly. It is a normal urge of men no matter what their beliefs in God are or are not and no matter what church they belong to.

Personally, (and this is only my opinion), if I had a young son who was trying to deal with normal biological urges, I would confirm it is a normal response, but not to be ocnsummed with it so as to not function and progress in reaching his highest potential.

I would certainly not advise him to quit his college education so that he can work on controlling normal sexual urges.

The result of this can often be people marrying too young so that they can have sex and not worry about the law of chastity. At a 51 percent divorce rate in this country and so many children being raised in single parent homes, this is not the solution to overcoming the law of chastity.

We have to combine out God given common sense with the desire to serve God.

[skalenfehl]

Personally, I'm not without compassion, however, the OP is asking for help in a situation where we can't offer much. Either you tell your bishop and face the consequences or you wait and get your schooling done and deal with the aftermath then, whatever it may be. In the meantime, you just live with yourself and sin no more. I don't see it any more clear than this.

[pam]

Personally, I'm not without compassion, however, the OP is asking for help in a situation where we can't offer much. Either you tell your bishop and face the consequences or you wait and get your schooling done and deal with the aftermath then, whatever it may be. In the meantime, you just live with yourself and sin no more. I don't see it any more clear than this.

I agree with you Skal. However, I was responding to a couple of other posts in this thread that basically are condemning those who do come here asking for advice.

[LDSJewess]

I agree with you Skal. However, I was responding to a couple of other posts in this thread that basically are condemning those who do come here asking for advice.

Pam,

Again I do apologize if my earlier post seem condeming toward those asking and I see your point.

Sometimes when we are dealing with the internet and anonymity, we can get caught up in the lack of understanding. Some posts be it on this forum or not can come from very young underage people that just entertain themselves engaging in adult conversation.

I will say that no matter where I visit, I have not found many adults so free to discuss such intimate topics in detail. Perhaps some of that comes from my own frame of reference where people my age grew up not discussing these things so openly. (I'm not saying that is always good but where I was coming from).

Sorry again. I would not want to discourage someone asking for help.

[pam]

We are cool LDSJewess. :)

[dmr222]

finally someone who understands me. People that are commenting think im lying but im being very honest and it scares me to death to let my parents know that i cant go to school for a while. i just want to know how long will the repentence process takes and if ill be able to come back to school by winter time.