How to raise chaste kids?

[slamjet]

The best thing I learned about pornography from a friend who lost her husband to it was what her bishop told her: pornography and masturbation are forms of lust. Maybe that will help someone on this forum.

Actually, that's not 100% correct, but that's another thread.

[prophetofdoom]

Your kids will make mistakes. You have to accept that. Teach them correct principles about chastity and be very frank and clear about pornography and masturbation. Always teach them about faith in Jesus Christ and repentance.

I would want my kids to know the standards of the church. BUT, I would make it very clear that Christ has created an escape hatch from sin.

[Kolob]

For me I think what my own parents could have done better, is to have communicated with me every single thing they know about being chaste at an age early enough to help prevent any of it. Examples from parents are very strong. Habit forming house rules can help as well.

Things kids watch on the television can lead to thing on other type of media. Limit the internet usage at your home. Also the location of your computer should be somewhere where one is never alone.

Pray with your children. Support them in their church activities. Take and read advice/talks from Church Authorities.

Always have faith, and never give up on your kids if they should be led astray by the adversary.

You won't be able to control each minute of each day, what with school and other things, but the correct teachings of the gospels stand on whate truly chaste is, will better protect them. Remind your kids of the verses in Ephesians 6 about wearing the whole armor of god. Remind them that while in school or alone with friends (preferably never allow this) that they are never alone to say no. 1 with god on his side is the majority always.

Lastly I'd like to say simply.

LOVE THEM! I mean with all your ability.

Good luck in your parenting, remember the best and most true of all answers come from our heavenly father through prayer, he answers through your leaders, and the spirit. Listen to them.

[Blackmarch]

I am married to a husband who has recently converted. We our very much in love and has a great courtship, the only thing that could have been a deal breaker was because he was not a member, he looked at pornography. Through my support he was able to break the habit which is a great accomplishment seeing as the world does not view this as a bad thing at all, even within marriage. I know the lord really gave me strength to bear with him and be by his side while he was looking at these images because I am a bit jealous and would have otherwise never been willing to work through this situation as it really hurt alot. When I think of us starting a family, the thing that stresses me out the most is getting my potential boys to steer clear of the stuff. It seems impossible! I grew up in a small town and watched MTV and all that stuff, now I am in the city I see how different it is- kids talk about stuff I wouldn't in my wildest dreams been talking about with my friends, MTV and TV in general is bordering pornographic now. Things have really changed in the last 10 years. My husband said he was exposed to porn from friends who had their dads magazines, internet etc from an early age (12). Is it going to be impossible to steer my kids away from this without completely wrapping them up in cotton wool and sheltering them??? Also what do you teach them about masturbation? I mean, I know the church teaches you should not do this, however, I know how hard it is as a male to withold these feelings. I had one church member exboyfriend who told me flat out it was impossible and didn't know why the church would teach something so stupid. Should I teach my kids there is no exception and make them live in guilt through their adolescence? Or teach them this is the 'ideal' way but if they fall short it is okay, enabling us to have more trust an openness? I know this is stupid to be worrying about it right now, but I just see the extreme pain I went through and want to make sure I raise good boys that dont have to put another woman in the situation I was in. And I know this is becoming a huge issue and just have a feeling this is going to be one of my biggest battles with my teens.... Any suggestions?

1st things 1st... be the example today that you want them to be today, don't worry too much about your past other than let it be something you can teach them about. If you have things in the house you feel are borderline, maybe get rid of them.

2nd Set rules for your house... My family did away with the TV, and was very strict on what movies we could watch or go out to, as well as how we treated dates and etc..

IF we complained we were given the "while you live here you abide our rules" speech

3. have family home evenings and once in a while have lessons on things like Chastity and honesty, and whatver else you feel like needs to be taught

4. and most important love them no matter what.

[ruthiechan]

I started talking to my daughter about the word of wisdom, and about the law of chastity when she was four years old. It was in an age appropriate manner, of course. We've had continued discussions about these things.

It is a good thing too.

At 6 years old she was offered a glass of wine (yeah, I know, I was shocked too).

At 7 years old she was being encouraged to act sexy by her peers at school.

Both times she said no. Because she had been taught at home about these things. Church is not enough. It is only a supplement to at-home teaching.

Now she is 8 years old.

Every morning we read the Gospel Principles manual, we're on our second time through. We read scriptures nearly every night before bed (and if we're getting to bed late, we each say a short verse or article of faith we have memorized).

She knows what sex is (though, she still thinks her father and I only ever had sex once), and she knows what masturbation is,

She knows how too look at a piece of clothing and see if it'll draw the eye to her private parts (she wants people to pay attention to her as a person not to her private parts)

You need to teach your children what they need to know FIVE YEARS before they need to know it, and that timing is getting younger and younger.

Warding your home against evil by strategies already given are good, but they are not enough. Facilitate your children having their own spiritual experiences. Help them recognize the Spirit and develop a love for our Heavenly Parents and Jesus Christ. It is possible for young children to feel the Spirit and recognize it. There are many opportunities in day to day life to facilitate spiritual experiences in a child's life. That way, they will have the desire to do the right thing without you watching them.

Oh, I also prayed about when to discuss all this with my daughter, and in what manner, that way I knew she was ready for it.

Edit: Oh, this helped when teaching my child about the badness of drugs and alcohol: http://www.youtube.com/my_playlists?p=523AF2183817089A

Edited August 3, 2011 by ruthiechan

[Eleven]

youve got a lot of good advice here.

Communication is by far #1. however awkward, you GOT to tell them what God expects.

some may have opinions that certain expectations are impossible but they are not, trust me.

[Still_Small_Voice]

You've got a lot of good advice here.

Communication is by far #1. however awkward, you GOT to tell them what God expects. Some may have opinions that certain expectations are impossible but they are not, trust me.

A true disciple of Christ has faith that the LORD does not command us to do that which is impossible. The often quoted scripture I Nephi chapter 3 verse 7 applies here.

In James chapter 2 it is written that we show our faith by our works.