Nervous About Serving My Mission

[TheEdge]

Hello! This is my first real post here, but I felt like it was important enough to post. Hopefully I can get some advice on this, even though I'm very new here...

I received my call in early June to the Brazil Goiania mission! I am really excited to serve the Lord and the people of Brazil, I truly am.

But I am also very nervous. I received my call about 6 months before I report to the Brazil MTC (on November 23). At the time I was just so happy and excited, I didn't even think about leaving in November. But now, as the time soon approaches...I am so scared. Scared to leave my family, my friends, and everything I've known my entire life. I just don't know if I can do it. I don't know if I'll be able to handle it. The other night, I just completely broke down as I thought about being in a different country for two whole years, unable to talk to the people I love. I just sat and cried. Whenever I think about leaving, I get really anxious and literally start shaking and my heart starts pounding and I start breathing faster.

And it's not even to the two month point yet. I still have about nine weeks till I fly out. I can't even imagine how scared I'll be once it hits November 1st. Thinking about how scared I'll be by then makes me even more scared now...

I just don't know what to do.

I attended one year of college, so I have a year of experience away from home. But I was still able to call and text my friends and family and I was able to visit home every so often. I won't be able to do that on my mission...

I pray daily, multiple times, asking Heavenly Father for comfort. Asking for the Spirit to be with me and to calm me down. I read the scriptures, especially the Book of Mormon, and study them intently, looking for answers. But I still feel so scared, so nervous, so inadequate...if I'm already feeling these emotions, how will I be able to be a successful tool in God's hands? How will I be able to bring the message of the restored Gospel to the people that need it most?

I'm sorry for rambling and venting. But I really need some advice and some guidance. Anyone who has experienced this and is willing to talk to me about it...I would appreciate it. And any advice or anything from anyone else would be appreciated as well.

[classylady]

I remember feeling most of those same emotions before I left on my mission to Germany. It's been quite a few years since I served, but what you're feeling, I believe, is perfectly normal. It is scary to leave home and family. And, of course, we question our ability to serve the Lord. Missionaries are not perfect. Each missionary has their own strengths and weaknesses. Missionaries are the Lord's tools in building up His Kingdom here on earth. The Lord knows you personally. He knows of your desire to serve. He also knows your fears and weaknesses. And you are still called to the work! If anxiety is truly getting to you, ask for a priesthood blessing.

[Dravin]

Scared to leave my family, my friends, and everything I've known my entire life. I just don't know if I can do it. I don't know if I'll be able to handle it. The other night, I just completely broke down as I thought about being in a different country for two whole years, unable to talk to the people I love. I just sat and cried. Whenever I think about leaving, I get really anxious and literally start shaking and my heart starts pounding and I start breathing faster.

I'll be honest with you, I cried in the MTC. I say this not to try to cast the MTC as some sort of torture but to show I know the fear and anxiety you're speaking of. In my case my parent's letters got delayed and I felt so very alone until they finally got to me.

A couple things:

1) You will get to talk to them twice a year. I know it doesn't sound like much but it doesn't help anyone to exaggerate the actual situation.

2) If we extend the concept of talk beyond the verbal you will be able to write/email family and friends once a week.

3) You may be physically seperated from family but you won't by any means be alone. There will be the following there to help you and be a means for receiving tender mercies from the Lord (speaking of which, a good talk: The Tender Mercies of the Lord - general-conference )

a) The spirit.

b) The mission president and his wife.

c) Your companion.

e) Members you serve with.

d) Even investigators and other non-members.

But I still feel so scared, so nervous, so inadequate...if I'm already feeling these emotions, how will I be able to be a successful tool in God's hands? How will I be able to bring the message of the restored Gospel to the people that need it most?

To put it simply you will learn. Nobody expects you to be a cultural and lingual savant who knows and understands everything out of the gate. You will be awkward, you will miss home, you will have to learn to swallow that lump in your throat. But you will also grow, and if you hearken to the spirit you can become a weak thing made strong.

Something to keep in mind as you are praying so desperately to overcome your fears:

27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that dhumble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

Nothing promises it will happen instantly, nor is there any promise that it will come without effort. Often weak things become strong not because our fears and weaknesses disappear in an instant but because of the grace of God and learning to lean on the Lord we develop our capacities over time.

[RMGuy]

Good luck, and best wishes. You willl hear from many who say it was the greatest two years of their life. I try to live my life so that each succeeding year is better than the last, so I can't say that. But I can say it was good.

Some advice, for what it is worth....take it slowly. Don't feel like you have to, or even are going to conquer the world from day one. Take each day as an opportunity to learn something new: something about the culture, your companion, the Gospel, the language, the way in which you learn, etc.

Understand that this is going to be a rough two years (I think you have a good grasp on that) but that you can do it. At the same time, be sure that you are doing what you want to do as well. I don't say that in terms of "well I want to go see this movie so I'm going to." You need to be obedient, but you also need to understand the letter of the law and the spirit of the law and how those two things work. IF I could offer you no other advice than that it would be the one thing I would share.

Understand the letter and the spirit of the law. Understand where YOU are with regards to those things. Understand that your companion(s) may be somewhere else. It is, in my experience, the biggest source of companion problems as well as general angst with rules etc. You need to know where you stand. I will use an example from your own post....contacting family.

The rule says only call home twice a year. How are you going to react in a situation in which you learn by a letter that something is seriously wrong at home, or you have a problem in the field that you believe only your family can solve? Letter of the law obedient? Spirit of the law obedient? Are they different? If so, how so?

Remember that there were many Letter of the law aspects that the Savior himself broke because the spirit of the law was important. But he also said, "if ye love me, keep my commandments." For me that is one of the biggest challenges of the mission. How you answer those questions.

Now most importantly. Good luck, and enjoy it. Hard? yes. Fun? For sure.

Best advice I recieved was from my trainer who said:

There are 3 types of missionaries:

1. The jokers. They don't care about the gospel. They are out for a good time, or because dad promised them a new car, or because their gf was going to break up with them if they didn't come out

2. The pharasee's. For these missionaries picking out a tie is a matter of fasting and prayer. They don't really care about the gospel either. They care about looking good in the eyes of others.

3. The boys. The boys have fun. When they work, they work hard. When they play, they play hard. But whether they are working or whether they are playing they are having fun, because the gospel is meant to be joyful, and if you aren't having fun, you're doing something wrong.

I always tried to be one of the boys. What abou you?

-RM

[beefche]

I second what Dravin said. I'll be honest--I hated the MTC. I wanted to give up so badly in the time I was there. But, I kept remembering that I wasn't there for me.

One thing that helped me through the difficult times on my mission was that I remembered that every prayer in each temple session in each temple in the world prays for missionaries. Each and everyone and each time. THAT is powerful. One of the most sacred moments and I am being prayed for. Remember that, Elder. Remember that you are not alone. It is through the difficulties of life that we come to know our Savior and begin to understand real happiness.

Stick with it--you can do this. You can do hard things.

[dahlia]

It is OK to cry. Your companion is going to feel anxious,so don't think you have to put on a front. In time, you will get used to things and become more familiar with the language and it won't be such a struggle.

Let people be nice to you. My elders told me of folks who invited them in when it was cold, even if they didn't want to hear the gospel, people felt sorry for them out in our subzero weather. Let the ward members be nice. Maybe it's different here, but most the people in my ward, males and females, have been on a mission. They are so caring about the elders and can't do enough for them. Let other people have their chance to serve you and do for you.

Good luck on your mission!

[rameumptom]

I felt very scared before going on my mission to Bolivia. It is just a little bit of "cold feet" that every one feels just before going into a major event in their lives (marriage, college, mission, etc).

Just accept the fact that there will be times in your life when you will be scared, but that the Lord will take care of you. Then trust Him as you move forward. He will quickly turn your fears into joy that you went.

[Guest mormonmusic]

In times like these, I like to reflect on the words of Marcus Aurelius who said something like "don't worry about the future for we'll meet it with the same abilities that we meet the challenges of today and yesterday".

You've already had a lot of challenges in your life so far, and handled them -- you'll handle this one the same way. Stuff will come up, but you'll deal with it.

[Guest FixingTheWrongs]

It is a scary step, but it will be worth it. Never loose faith that what you are doing is worth it. I was scared, it seemed like two years is a long time. After a few weeks you'll get into a routine and the time will not be as noticable. To quote a Tale of Two Cities, "It was the best of times and the worst of times." Thats how I look back on it. I had more fun and joy meeting people and grew more spiritually than I ever would have doing anything else. At the same time I faced a few challenges, that to this day, I wonder how I ever go through.

Pray always, do your best, work hard, and have a little fun everyday. Enjoy the culture and people you meet and the great joy that you are sharing the Gospel of Christ.

[naebug]

I have to de-lurk here and contribute. I ditto everything already said above, and I would like to add something.

Speaking as a convert who just one month ago reached her one year anniversary I say even when you are nervous or afraid or lonely keep driving on. The missionaries who taught me and my son and baptized us are forever in our prayers and I know there are so many people you will benefit as you go out on your mission.

One more big thing to remember (IMHO) is that even if you do not SEE results do not let discouragement eat you up. You will never really know what seeds are sprouting after you have finished an encounter. One missionary left before I even went to church once, but his teaching and his love impacted my choice to be baptized and grow in faith. So if you get down, remember that. You may have planted the seed another missionary will tend to later.

I am so excited for you and I will keep you in my prayers. There is a verse in D&C 50...it is about he that reeiveth and he that teacheth, both are edified and rejoice. (from memory, so could be very off on the wording) but it is true. You will see and you will rejoice with those you teach and help.

PS I write letters to lots of friends and family. If you would like shoot me a PM with your mailing addy when you get it and I will add you to my snail mail zoo.

[beefche]

IOne more big thing to remember (IMHO) is that even if you do not SEE results do not let discouragement eat you up. You will never really know what seeds are sprouting after you have finished an encounter. One missionary left before I even went to church once, but his teaching and his love impacted my choice to be baptized and grow in faith. So if you get down, remember that. You may have planted the seed another missionary will tend to later.

I am the product of years of missionaries--10+ years. So, I second what naebug said. You cannot, I stress CANNOT, measure success by the number of baptisms. You focus on doing the work and success will come.

[Vort]

You cannot, I stress CANNOT, measure success by the number of baptisms.

I agree with you, but in fairness it should be noted that many people, including leaders -- including General Authorities -- implicitly measure mission success by number of converts. How many times have we heard an illustration of So-and-so's true conversion offered by the speaker saying, "Then So-and-so served a mission to the land of Far and Away, where he baptized over one hundred people"?

In the same sense, we cannot measure success in gospel living by the position we are called to serve in, yet countless times we have heard some variation of, "Because Sister XX became active again, she brought her six children into activity, and one is a Primary president, one a stake Relief Society president, two are bishops, and one a stake president." (The sixth, apparently, is an abject failure, never serving in a position above Young Men's president.)

[estradling75]

In the same sense, we cannot measure success in gospel living by the position we are called to serve in, yet countless times we have heard some variation of, "Because Sister XX became active again, she brought her six children into activity, and one is a Primary president, one a stake Relief Society president, two are bishops, and one a stake president." (The sixth, apparently, is an abject failure, never serving in a position above Young Men's president.)

Well by that standard I am also an abject failure... Not only that but I appear to be going in reverse

[TheEdge]

I have to de-lurk here and contribute. I ditto everything already said above, and I would like to add something.

Speaking as a convert who just one month ago reached her one year anniversary I say even when you are nervous or afraid or lonely keep driving on. The missionaries who taught me and my son and baptized us are forever in our prayers and I know there are so many people you will benefit as you go out on your mission.

One more big thing to remember (IMHO) is that even if you do not SEE results do not let discouragement eat you up. You will never really know what seeds are sprouting after you have finished an encounter. One missionary left before I even went to church once, but his teaching and his love impacted my choice to be baptized and grow in faith. So if you get down, remember that. You may have planted the seed another missionary will tend to later.

I am so excited for you and I will keep you in my prayers. There is a verse in D&C 50...it is about he that reeiveth and he that teacheth, both are edified and rejoice. (from memory, so could be very off on the wording) but it is true. You will see and you will rejoice with those you teach and help.

PS I write letters to lots of friends and family. If you would like shoot me a PM with your mailing addy when you get it and I will add you to my snail mail zoo.

Wow, naebug, this was so inspiring. Especially to hear this from a convert who has such a strong spirit like you do. Thank you for your words of encouragement! It is very much appreciated. And I will PM you when I get my mailing address. Thank you so, so much.

[RMGuy]

I aspire to serve in nursery. That has got to be the funnest calling in the church. That or sunbeam teacher. I always love when I am asked to sub in those callings :-)

-RM

[Dravin]

I agree with you, but in fairness it should be noted that many people, including leaders -- including General Authorities -- implicitly measure mission success by number of converts. How many times have we heard an illustration of So-and-so's true conversion offered by the speaker saying, "Then So-and-so served a mission to the land of Far and Away, where he baptized over one hundred people"?

It is an interesting phenomenon.

You have the above concept of success and then you have PMG which defines it as:

You can know you have been a successful missionary when you:

• Feel the Spirit testify to people through you.

• Love people and desire their salvation.

• Obey with exactness.

• Live so that you can receive and know how to follow the Spirit, who will show you

where to go, what to do, and what to say.

• Develop Christlike attributes.

• Work effectively every day, do your very best to bring souls to Christ, and seek

earnestly to learn and improve.

• Help build up the Church (the ward) wherever you are assigned to work.

• Warn people of the consequences of sin. Invite them to make and keep commitments.

• Teach and serve other missionaries.

• Go about doing good and serving people at every opportunity, whether or not they

accept your message.

• Develop Christlike attributes.

• Work effectively every day, do your very best to bring souls to Christ, and seek

earnestly to learn and improve.

• Help build up the Church (the ward) wherever you are assigned to work.

• Warn people of the consequences of sin. Invite them to make and keep commitments.

• Teach and serve other missionaries.

• Go about doing good and serving people at every opportunity, whether or not they

accept your message

Baptize people isn't on the list. I think it's a consequence of the goal setting and reporting management* combined with who doesn't feel a success as a missionary when they baptized people ? It can lend itself to situations where because you were sent to say Amsterdam you feel a failure even though you've met the above qualifications and then look to someone else in the mission who has baptismal success who isn't doing the above.

*This is not a bad thing. It's just easy to forget that success in goals, or success in high goals is not the same thing as success as a missionary.

[naebug]

Glad you liked it Beefche. Oh, and you are very welcome Edge. Tickled I could help.

Honestly if I could stand outside the MTC one day and just tell each Elder And Sister what a wonderful choice they had made and how excited and proud I was for them I would. Somehow I dont think the management would be down with that though. That and I live so far from Utah. hehehehe.