Lds Family services counselling?

[Anon16]

Hi All,

Thank you for your advice and responses to my last post. I really appreciated the comments and insight, it gave me several different perspectives that I didn't have.

So, now I have several other questions.

Have any of you worked with the LDS Family Services counselors before?

What was your experience? I am going to be starting to work with someone very soon and I would like to be prepared. It's about my family life, and self esteem and etc.

What kind of things should I not say, and what kind of things will they ask?

Around how long would I need to work with this person?

Thank you

Anon16

[Dravin]

Have any of you worked with the LDS Family Services counselors before?

Yes, but it was just a couple visits before I went a medicinal route.

What was your experience?

Eh, not sure how to classify it. He was a nice guy, he was prepared to work with me to create a game plan and hold me accountable to it, but like I said, I didn't go to him long.

What kind of things should I not say, and what kind of things will they ask?

Normal rules for politeness apply, so I wouldn't go cursing him out or calling them a jerk or anything. As far as the questions asked, that is going to depends on how much you volunteer and your particular issues. The point of questions is so they can know you and your situation well enough to give you informed counsel. They may also ask questions to set up a rapport and set you at ease (How's life going? Oh, you like Halo? What about them Mets?).

Around how long would I need to work with this person?

Until you don't. Not to be flippant, but you'll work with them either until you are stalled or until you've achieved your purposes in going to them in the first place. How soon either of those occur depends on you.

[NeuroTypical]

Have any of you worked with the LDS Family Services counselors before?

Yes - once briefly in Utah, once for years in Colorado. Both very good experiences.

LDSFS counselors have a variety of professional degrees. They are not your bishop, don't grant absolution. You don't need to impress them or prove anything to them. They're there to help.

If you don't like the one you try, try someone else until you find a good fit. Like any other humans, they have a variety of personalities and techniques and levels of knowledge.

[Guest mormonmusic]

I met with one on my mission. He was absoutely great. Firm, but helpful and supportive -- and smart.

Then, my wife and I worked with one on an adoption and he was terrible. He rejected us from the adoption pool over the phone for the most asinine and heartless reason. The way he delivered it was crass and he made my wife cry. Two years later a new director took over and apologized. The new director said he "would never have put his name to that letter" -- referring to a letter the rejecting counselor wrote us after we requested it, detailing the rejection.

So, I don't seek out counselors at LDS Social services. Sometimes they are members of your Ward or Stake, or relatives thereof...and although I have faith in professionalism, I don't feel like taking the chance of confidentiality breaches.

[HEthePrimate]

To a large extent it depends on the counselor you get. Just because it's an LDS-provided service doesn't mean that you'll "mesh" with every single counselor. If one doesn't work well for you, request another, until you find someone you like.

[skippy740]

I have not used LDSFS... but really should in the future. The idea behind LDSFS is so that there is an understanding of the LDS culture in your therapy and certain gospel standards. As it was said before, there are still as many personalities in LDSFS as anywhere else... but at least something like this won't happen:

I work part time as a teacher of family doctors. This program provides training on psychiatric disorders and emphasizes the importance of emotional support. The new doctors are given plenty of time in clinic to visit with their patients and learn about their challenges. One of our interns who had never lived in Utah and knows nothing about Mormons is still struggling to understand the cultural climate here. Last week he was interviewing a new patient and stumbled upon what he thought was a raging psychosis.

Doctor: "Well, Mrs. Olsen, we've talked about your high blood pressure and your medications. Are you experiencing any particular stress in your life?"

Patient: "Oh, yes! It's the Sunbeams. They're driving me crazy."

Doctor: (Very surprised) "The sunbeams."

Patient: "Yes. I've never had trouble with them before, but this group won't sit still. They bounce all over the room, and run out the door and down the hall."

Doctor: (Reaching for a pen) "Have you told anyone about this?"

Patient: "Of course. I told the president."

Doctor: "Really! What did the President tell you?"

Patient: "She said Sunbeams are like that. I'm just going to have to learn to deal with them."

Doctor: (Concerned that he may be missing something) "I know people who are sensitive to sunbeams. Do they cause you to rash or anything?"

Patient: (Confused) "A rash? No."

Doctor: "What's the biggest problem they're creating?"

Patient: "It's the noise. They just won't quit talking."

Doctor: (Astonished) "The sunbeams are talking to you?"

Patient: "Well, yes. But mostly to each other."

Doctor (Scribbling furiously in the chart) "I see. Can anyone else hear them talking?"

Patient: (After a moment of stunned silence) "You're not LDS, are you?"

[Backroads]

must.... laugh... at... skippy....

I've never used one and my associations have had mixed experiences with them. My husband is firmly against them (he went to one when trying to save his last marriage and thinks the counselor just made things worse). I have a coworker who is seeing one and says he has been incredibly helpful.

[JudoMinja]

I've never been to LDSFS, but I have received professional counseling/therapy, and I think going to an LDS counselor isn't going to be much different from going to a regular counselor except for the obvious cultural understanding that skippy identified :).

With all counselors there are good ones and not so good ones. There are some that work well for you and some that don't. Their job is to help you get through any emotional/mental hardships and determine whether or not you may need some medication too.

[sister_in_faith]

I think you should give it a try and just see how it works out! There is NO harm in talking to someone!!! :)

[applepansy]

I tried an LDS family services counselor. I saw her for two visits. Her declarations after one visit were astounding. She left me speechless. I'm still, years later, trying to figure out what I said that led her to make some of the judgements she made. I decided to go back thinking maybe it was just the first visit. The second visit was more unbelievable. I quit going. I couldn't justify paying $80 a visit for someone to tell me to do things that didn't make a bit of sense.

Just because you see an LDS counselor doesn't mean everyone of them will be what you need. Do not be afraid to ask to see someone else if the first or even second don't seem like a good fit.

The right counselor can make a positive difference in your life. The wrong one will be a nightmare.

Best Wishes.