Girl says i love you?

[shawnspencer]

Hello

So me and this girl like each other very much. Yesterday I took her to a movie and afterwards shared our first kiss and then I told her I loved her. She said she loved me as well, however when I texted her goodnight later on and said the same thing she didn't say it back. So the thing is that I am about to go on a mission. Is this what she is doing to not get too attached? Is this something I should worry about or not? I love her with all my heart. Please offer some advice. Thanks. Oh and please be sincere I know I shouldn't be in love before my mission I tried my hardest not to be but sometimes you just cant help it. And I also already know the risks I am taking because odds say that she will probably be married when I get back so please don't lecture me on that. I get enough from my parents lol.

[shawnspencer]

Oh and she did text me goodnight she just didn't say I love you back but she did say it in person so I am just kind of confused.

[pam]

Having been a young girl at one time (my adult children don't believe it but I have pictures), I can kind of see where the girl is coming from. Saying it back in person would somehow relieve an awkward situation. Perhaps since you said it she felt she had to say it back. Remember you had just shared your first kiss. People get caught up in the moment.

Being alone probably gave her a chance to think that perhaps it's not a good thing to be saying it (though she may be feeling it) knowing that you are getting ready to go on a mission. Texting gives someone an opportunity to hold back without the awkward face to face situation.

Don't read more into it than there might be.

[Just_A_Guy]

Per your request, I will endeavor to neither advise you about how to focus on your mission, or warn you against the fickleness of the allegiance of teenaged girls generally.

But I will respectfully suggest that until you learn that love, unlike Intelligence, can be both created and destroyed, you may be setting yourself up for an awful lot of frustration.

And, Pam, I've seen a couple of those pictures of which you speak on Facebook; and I'm still not convinced they aren't forgeries.

[shawnspencer]

Ya I figured that she just didn't want to get too attached before my mission. Thanks^^

[pam]

And, Pam, I've seen a couple of those pictures of which you speak on Facebook; and I'm still not convinced they aren't forgeries.

I plead the 5th.

[sgp375]

There is nothing wrong with falling in love before your mission!! You can't help it! But it's true that it isn't always the easiest. But sometimes love isn't.

Trust the Lord, know he has a plan for you. Things will work out the way they are supposed to. If this is meant to be, then so it shall be. But be patient. You can't marry the girl right now, and you are going to be a little preoccupied for the next two years. Let the pieces fall where they may.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy,it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

Charity (love) suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

Doth not behave itself aunseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

[shine7]

Though it isn't the norm, I know of couples that pledged love before mission and ended up

together/married after he came home. Love is a tender and beautiful experience......

[EarlJibbs]

I am one of those out of the "norm"

I dated my wife in high school. We had talked of things like marrahe before me leaving on my mission. I can't say we promissed anything, although we both thought it to be a great idea. We wrote eachother diligently. She dated a lot of people while I was gone and told me of only a few (the few I knew I didnt have to worry about) and that was for the best since I needed my head in the game. When I returned I had to shake off TWO very serious pursuers from her. One talking marrage. I fought for her.

Why shouldnt you love before your mission? Even if chances are slim and there are not a huge percentage of people that actually make it, why not? As far as her telling you I love you, that is a hard one. A large part of building and maintaining a relationship involves great communication. It may seem scary, but maybe you should have a conversation with her if you really want to know where you are at and where you are headed. I wouldnt try to guess. Just do it in a place that she feels confortable and you both can leave if desired.

When I tell people about my wife and me, I always get a lot of resposnes about how rare it is. Well, que sera sera, but that doesnt mean I just sat around hoping. Best of luck to you.

[Nelly]

I met my husband before he went on a mission, I totally fell in love with him, but I had to wait! Because he was going on a mission and I could never, ever let myself let a guy choose me over a mission. She's a girl, a lot of things can be running through her mind right now. Such as, what if I fall too hard for him and he's leaving soon, how am I going to cope? (I did this.) She's scared out of her mind since you told her you loved her. (It took me a month to say I love you back to my husband!) Or she's probably trying to protect you so you are focused on the work of serving the Lord, and she's not a distraction.

I "waited" for mine, yeah I had some fun while he was on his mission, but we did stay in regular contact and avoided the "I Love you's" during his mission. I knew he was homesick and it wouldn't have been right to do that.

Don't think too hard about it, or read between the lines, it won't do you anything good. Do what you need to do, and things will work out like they're suppose to :)

xxxxx

[SoCal_Counselor]

Okay, first of all, it was communication by text. Was she busy and couldn't give a more lengthy response, was she just responding to your text, was she already asleep, etc. You can know that context of how she responded so you are left to assume. Communicating by text is usually not appropriate for meaningful conversations, or for arguments for that matter.

Secondly, should you fall in love before your mission? That is up to you. But it also depends on where your focus is. If you are so focussed on a girl when you are on your mission, it will make it more difficult to be engaged in the work of the Lord. If there happens to be a Dear John while you are on your mission and you are focussed on your relationship with her, it will continue to be very difficult to fulfill your responsibilities on your mission.

Lastly, if you do develop a relationship before your mission, I would suggest not giving her any more preferential treatment with letters/emails than you do the rest of your family. Don't talk about the relationship, or hopes of the relationship after the mission. Share your testimony and joys of working and serving the Lord, because that is where your focus should be.

[Timpman]

Run away and be free! There's very little good to having a girlfriend while on a mission.

[Timpman]

Okay, I know my post wasn't helpful. Here's my story. I dated a girl before my mission. I started to really like her so I broke up with her. We still wrote letters during my mission, but I was free. She dated some. Now we're married.

[Jennarator]

My mom always said if they are the right person, they will still be ther right person in two years. For me and my husband, he was the right person after 21 years. I say take it slow, don't read too much into the text.

[mhsmd]

I remember both boyfriends I've had saying "I love you" for the first time. There was so much pressure to say it back! I said it too soon once, and then stopped saying it. Both times I did eventually start saying it regularly because I was ready. She may have been responding to pressure, but don't worry! There is pressure because she likes you, and she wants to spend more time getting to know you, but she also doesn't want to lose the relationship by not responding in kind. Does that make sense? That's how I felt when a boyfriend said it to me for the first time.

[ClickyClack]

You want to hear confusing?

On about our third date, the woman to whom I have now been happily married for ten years, looked at me and said "I love you."

Then she got a startled look on her face, turned around, and ran away. And I literally mean RAN away. I just stood there laughing at the ridiculousness of the whole thing.

[pam]

Hopefully she's not still running away every time she says it. :)

[slamjet]

You want to hear confusing?

On about our third date, the woman to whom I have now been happily married for ten years, looked at me and said "I love you."

Then she got a startled look on her face, turned around, and ran away. And I literally mean RAN away. I just stood there laughing at the ridiculousness of the whole thing.

And that folks is an experience that will be passed down for generations

[bluedreams]

Take it from someone who's been in a complicated relationship thing for a while now: Don't worry too much. Even if she doesn't love you, blurted it out of a sense of pressure, or she's trying to keep and an emotional distance for your 2 year hiatus there's not much you can do. So don't worry about it. If it works it works, if it doesn't it doesn't. It's life.

With luv,

BD

[Guest]

So, I was talking to my work-mate on the phone and before I hung up I said, Love ya, bye.... something I always say to my husband on the phone. Talk about EMBARRASSING!

Anyway, I treat the words, I Love You, like the word God. Not to be used casually or just-because. When I say it, I look the guy in the eye and say it with conviction. So yeah, I might not want to type it on a chat screen.

Now, after I got married, there's nothing casual about me saying I love you... All. The. Time. It got so that it became a habit and found myself saying it to a work-mate. Yikes.

Anyway, there's no telling why she didn't text it. But, I can pretty much guarantee it is not as consequential as you perceive it to be. Especially since you got two years before you can do something about it anyway.