IVF questions/support/help!

[INfertileMyrtil0315]

Hi All,

My husband of 10 years and I have two children, both of which we had a difficult time becoming pregnant with. Everything is fine with me, hubby has severe MF infertility and resistant to treatments and surgery. We have been trying for the third time for the past year and recently started seeing a reproductive endocrinologist. Did a few unsuccessful rounds of IUI, now moving on to IVF with the medication regime beginning in a few weeks.

As this will be the third and final addition, I am seeking advice as to what we should do with whatever embryos we have remaining after a successful transfer. I also have some general questions as to the medications, procedure, retrieval, etc!

If there is anyone who isableto answer my curiosities in the most detailed fashion possible (!!!) I would so so so greatly appreciate it!

[annewandering]

If you dont want extra embryos then dont let them take extras. Its the simplest answer. They do the extras as insurance but I hardly see how it is necessary.

[Guest]

This is absolutely impossible to answer on a general scale. It's totally between you and the Lord.

Unfortunately, anne, it's not as simple as choosing how many they "take". It depends on how many eggs they're able to harvest, how many of those will fertilize, and how many of those divide enough to qualify to transfer to the uterus. . . and then, whether that takes, which is statistically not the majority. So if that cycle fails, you either turn to the "extras" which would have been frozen, if they survive the freeze and then the thaw, or start the whole process again. It's financially and physically very hard on a couple, and way more complicated than most people realize.

Having been through it I wouldn't personally do it again if I already had children, but that is my choice and easy for me to say with my 5 children sitting here driving me bonkers. The decisions are difficult and heart-wrenching and include so many variables, that I would never judge someone who did their best to make the right decision for their family and follow what is right overall.

Edited July 26, 2012 by Eowyn

[Guest]

As far as questions about the procedure, I'm happy to answer whatever I remember. :) It's been awhile since we went through the ovulation stimulation and egg retrieval part of it.

[INfertileMyrtil0315]

Thank you E fot explaining that to Ann! Nothing about IVF involves a "simple as that". It's clear she's never been thru the process:/ Definitely too many variables involved and mucj like pregnancy, every IVF cycle is different (how many eggs are harvested, tje quality thereof, how many accept fertilization process, how many grow to blastocytes, how many mature enough to transfer and finally, after all of that, if the embryo implants into the uterus. Each fresh cycle of IVF costs between $12-15,000 (as opposed to transferring a frozen embryo costing under $2,000) so it is imperative to maximize the number of embryos harvested to be both practical and cost effective.

We're definitely goig ahead wth IVF, i think one of my challenges in the process thus far has been having people judge me with comments like "well you already have one of each....maybe it's not meant to be...etc). Pretty much the worst thing to tell someone who struggles with fertility. It's a matter of feeling like X amount of kids will make one's life complete. For us, we feel our family is incomplete until this last one comes along. And as a mother, i have a constant empty feeling and i know what is missing but unfortunately cannot remedy the situation with a date night like "normal people" can!

So i would appreciate anyone's constructive and nonjudgmental advice, preferably from those who have actually experienced the process and can offer both the experience and knowledge.

Thank you!

[pam]

Good luck to you through the process. I've been through infertility treatment though never made it to the point of attempting IVF. But I do know the feelings and the emotions and the frustration that goes with infertility treatment.

[annewandering]

Thank you E fot explaining that to Ann! Nothing about IVF involves a "simple as that". It's clear she's never been thru the process:/ Definitely too many variables involved and mucj like pregnancy, every IVF cycle is different (how many eggs are harvested, tje quality thereof, how many accept fertilization process, how many grow to blastocytes, how many mature enough to transfer and finally, after all of that, if the embryo implants into the uterus. Each fresh cycle of IVF costs between $12-15,000 (as opposed to transferring a frozen embryo costing under $2,000) so it is imperative to maximize the number of embryos harvested to be both practical and cost effective.

We're definitely goig ahead wth IVF, i think one of my challenges in the process thus far has been having people judge me with comments like "well you already have one of each....maybe it's not meant to be...etc). Pretty much the worst thing to tell someone who struggles with fertility. It's a matter of feeling like X amount of kids will make one's life complete. For us, we feel our family is incomplete until this last one comes along. And as a mother, i have a constant empty feeling and i know what is missing but unfortunately cannot remedy the situation with a date night like "normal people" can!

So i would appreciate anyone's constructive and nonjudgmental advice, preferably from those who have actually experienced the process and can offer both the experience and knowledge.

Thank you!

nope never been. I do appreciate the knowledge however. The point I was really addressing was the question of what to do about extras. It is a question that you need to be comfortable with. :)

I am glad you are going for it. There is nothing like the frustration of not being able to have children when you want them. Dont worry about what someone else might say to you, negatively. Their problems are theirs and not yours.

[Guest]

anne is a good egg and didn't mean offense. It's just a fact that most people who haven't been through it don't know. And why would they, unless they had an unusual desire to study up on the ins and outs of fertility treatments? I've had to learn to be patient with others who say things that might upset me, for my own sanity. Even my friend who basically accused us of murder before we had even decided about IVF.

[Vort]

anne is a good egg

A bit off-topic, but how come no one is ever called a good sperm?

[Bini]

A bit off-topic, but how come no one is ever called a good sperm?

Cos egg is more efficient to say.

[Guest]

Oh, Vort. I have started and deleted so many replies to that.

[annewandering]

sperm is a taboo word and egg isnt. :)

[INfertileMyrtil0315]

Thank for the humble reminder E! Such a good reminder to be patient. I'll have to message you later when i get a sec to ask some questions!

[beefche]

A bit off-topic, but how come no one is ever called a good sperm?

It is completely auditory. The words "good egg" both have soft vowel sounds. Whereas, "good sperm" is a soft vowel sound (the "oo" in good) followed by a harder consonance sound (the "sp" in sperm). It just doesn't sound as good to the ear.

[annewandering]

Icky correlation but eggs are food. Bad eggs are spoiled. No culture on this earth, that I have ever heard, of eats sperm as part of the diet. It is solely related to reproduction therefore slightly titillating. If there are jokes they are going to be off color ones.

[beefche]

I think Andrew Zimmern has eaten sperm. I think it was some kind of fish sperm, but I don't remember. That man likes the reproductive organs as a meal.

[annewandering]

I think Andrew Zimmern has eaten sperm. I think it was some kind of fish sperm, but I don't remember. That man likes the reproductive organs as a meal.

That is the guy that eats disgusting things right? If so, well fits.

[INfertileMyrtil0315]

I think i need to delete this thread and start a new one...totally needed IVF advice but it turned into use of proper grammar and eating sperm???!! Sheesh.

[annewandering]

oh it will get back to it. Its been a hot topic in the past and will be here I am sure. Just have to wait for all the ladies who have had the experience to be on. :)

I promise no more icky comments from me. :)

[Guest]

LOL threads veer off-topic from time to time. Ask away and I'm sure you'll get answers.

[INfertileMyrtil0315]

Hahaha! It was such a random topic turn!! I'm new to this site- how would I search for similar topics/posts like mine?

[annewandering]

Hahaha! It was such a random topic turn!! I'm new to this site- how would I search for similar topics/posts like mine?

hmm i dont know lol. maybe the browse? oh just a sec. I see a search button just above this post. :)

[Dravin]

You'll need to use the 'advanced' search function (LDS Social Network Forums - Search Forums), the quick search function doesn't work.

[slamjet]

As one who has IVF children, I will give this advice:

- (at the risk of a flame war) If you are definitely not going to have any more, have the zygotes destroyed. No harm because after looking at then through a microscope (yes, I can say I saw my children while they were just dividing cells) I'm convinced that they are, at that point, just a dividing cell. No more, no less.

- If you think you might want to try again, save them. When we went to have one last go at children, the freshly harvested zygotes never took. So they dipped into the freezer and used the ones that were originally harvested a bit over three years prior. So our last four children were all conceived at the same time, but born over three years separate.

So good luck. It's a much easier process now days, mainly, no needles. How I miss those needles. To be the one injecting caster oil based hormones into my wife's tushy was such a joy... NOT!

[Guest]

Oh, the injections. . . I still have some knots in my hips. No kidding.