shyguy Posted October 9, 2012 Report Share Posted October 9, 2012 Is it a weakness to apologise to someone? Does it make you look like you are inferior to that person. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 9, 2012 Report Share Posted October 9, 2012 An apology should be about doing the right thing, not about how you appear. In a healthy relationship, apologizing should be a bridge to bring people together, not a proof of who's right or wrong, superior or inferior. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applepansy Posted October 9, 2012 Report Share Posted October 9, 2012 A sincere apology is never a weakness. It takes courage to apologize whether you are right or wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted October 9, 2012 Report Share Posted October 9, 2012 A sincere apology is never a weakness. It takes courage to apologize whether you are right or wrong.It takes courage to apologize if you are wrong. It takes cowardice to apologize if you are right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bytor2112 Posted October 9, 2012 Report Share Posted October 9, 2012 It takes courage to apologize if you are wrong. It takes cowardice to apologize if you are right.Why....is it cowardice? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misshalfway Posted October 9, 2012 Report Share Posted October 9, 2012 If you are sincerely apologizing for something you've done, or some outcome that you regret, I would hope that it such doesn't equal weakness. I would hope that means that a person really cares about others. But I do think that sometimes people get into the habit of apologizing for everything to the point that they apologize for living. I do think there is weakness in this and that perhaps people sense it. I have a friend who apologizes for everything she says and is. She is sure she's offended someone before she even thinks the thought. I love her to death and I forgive her completely for this because I know her history. But still, it does get a little tired sometimes and it gets in the way. It makes me feel that she doesn't trust me to be anything but critical or easily offended. I wish she wasn't so afraid of such judgment, at least from me. But even saying all that, it might help if you were a bit more specific about what you are driving at. There are lots of kinds of apologies. Some of them are great, some are weak, and some are pointless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorningStar Posted October 9, 2012 Report Share Posted October 9, 2012 I would rather have an apology than have someone bring me a gift sheepishly in an effort to not actually apologize. It takes humility to acknowledge wrongdoing, not weakness. We're all wrong sometimes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted October 9, 2012 Report Share Posted October 9, 2012 Why....is it cowardice?Because it means you would rather give a false, insincere "apology" for having done nothing wrong than actually face the problem of someone demanding an apology where none is either required or appropriate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorningStar Posted October 9, 2012 Report Share Posted October 9, 2012 That's when you say, "I'm sorry.......... SORRY YOU'RE WRONG!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shyguy Posted October 9, 2012 Author Report Share Posted October 9, 2012 Thank you for all your wise and kind words. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jerome1232 Posted October 9, 2012 Report Share Posted October 9, 2012 (edited) It always takes two to tangoBoy howdy, if you only knew how much I hated this phrase. It may be strictly true, it does take two parties or more to have a conflict, but it's often invoked to imply both parties are always equally or partially at fault for the conflict, which just isn't true.edit:Also, in the United States, we spell it apoligize. ise is usually the UK way to spell things. Edited October 9, 2012 by jerome1232 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JosephP Posted October 9, 2012 Report Share Posted October 9, 2012 From what I recall this whole concept that apologizing shows weakness became popular because of a line in the old John Ford movie "She Wore A Yellow Rinbon" when an old wise Colonel played by John Wayne says to a young Captain; "Never apologize, Mister, its a sign of weakness" Since then this idea has become popular, especially among those who have slight education and parental upbringing. Like many macho concepts of manhood, its deeply engrained into some people and the absurdity of it matters not in the least. It is possible for an abused or weak person to use the term "I'm sorry" compulsively, and perhaps that is the origin of this idea. But anyone who has ever given or received a sincere eye to eye apology knows the courage it takes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted October 9, 2012 Report Share Posted October 9, 2012 Because it means you would rather give a false, insincere "apology" for having done nothing wrong than actually face the problem of someone demanding an apology where none is either required or appropriate.I understand what you're saying but I don't agree.I'm better now but for the majority of my life, I've believed that an apology should only be given when I am wrong. If I am right or haven't done anything wrong (in my eyes), I felt like the other person could sod off. But my thinking has matured over time. Even if you are right or haven't done anything wrong, feelings can be hurt, and it takes courage to get off your high horse and say, "I'm sorry." That said, if you don't mean it, then the apology means squat. But a sincere and genuine apology - it's a positive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted October 9, 2012 Report Share Posted October 9, 2012 I understand what you're saying but I don't agree.I'm better now but for the majority of my life, I've believed that an apology should only be given when I am wrong. If I am right or haven't done anything wrong (in my eyes), I felt like the other person could sod off. But my thinking has matured over time. Even if you are right or haven't done anything wrong, feelings can be hurt, and it takes courage to get off your high horse and say, "I'm sorry." That said, if you don't mean it, then the apology means squat.Under what circumstances would Jesus Christ apologize to you?Are we not to become like Christ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Backroads Posted October 9, 2012 Report Share Posted October 9, 2012 I suppose it depends on just what I am apologizing for. I believe in pretty much all cases one can find a way to still build up the person without backing down on what is right. I would not apologize for doing my job, but I will say I'm sorry the other person is upset or hurt over it--and I believe I can be genuine in that situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted October 9, 2012 Report Share Posted October 9, 2012 I would not apologize for doing my job, but I will say I'm sorry the other person is upset or hurt over it--and I believe I can be genuine in that situation.Being sorry that someone has hurt feelings is not apologizing. Apologizing means recognizing, acknowledging, and taking responsibility for a wrongdoing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applepansy Posted October 9, 2012 Report Share Posted October 9, 2012 It takes courage to apologize if you are wrong. It takes cowardice to apologize if you are right.I don't agree. Sometimes it takes more courage. A sincere apology, even if you're right, will often open the door to repairing a relationship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EarlJibbs Posted October 9, 2012 Report Share Posted October 9, 2012 I am with Vort on this one. If you are not in the wrong, why on earth would you apoligize for something? Would this be lying to yourself and someone else? Not apologizing for something you are not at fault for doesnt mean you are being a jerk. Being a pacifist doesnt mean bowing down just to make everyone happy. Avoiding confrontation doesnt mean that you need to apoliogize for something that you have no need to apologize for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted October 9, 2012 Report Share Posted October 9, 2012 Under what circumstances would Jesus Christ apologize to you?Are we not to become like Christ?Jesus would absolutely apologise for hurting someone else, regardless, of it being unintentional. That is who He is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted October 9, 2012 Report Share Posted October 9, 2012 I agree, Apple. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applepansy Posted October 9, 2012 Report Share Posted October 9, 2012 Because it means you would rather give a false, insincere "apology" for having done nothing wrong than actually face the problem of someone demanding an apology where none is either required or appropriate.I said: A sincere apology is never a weakness. It takes courage to apologize whether you are right or wrong.Example: Offering a sincere apology for offending someone, even if you're right, isn't cowardice. Even if it was unintentional offending someone requires an apology. It takes more courage to apologize and do it right when you're in the right than when you're in the wrong.Sincere apologies are about opening doors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jerome1232 Posted October 9, 2012 Report Share Posted October 9, 2012 I said: Example: Offering a sincere apology for offending someone, even if you're right, isn't cowardice. Even if it was unintentional offending someone requires an apology. It takes more courage to apologize and do it right when you're in the right than when you're in the wrong.Sincere apologies are about opening doors.The way I see it is you were wrong for offending them, and that is what you are apologizing for. You are not apologizing for the thing which you are right about. Just because the phrase "I'm sorry" is in there, doesn't make something an apology, sometimes the phrase is actually used to demonstrate empathy towards another. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted October 9, 2012 Report Share Posted October 9, 2012 The way I see it is you were wrong for offending them, and that is what you are apologizing for. You are not apologizing for the thing which you are right about. Just because the phrase "I'm sorry" is in there, doesn't make something an apology, sometimes the phrase is actually used to demonstrate empathy towards another.Your average dictionary defines "apology" as this:a·pol·o·gy   [uh-pol-uh-jee] Show IPAnoun, plural a·pol·o·gies.1.a written or spoken expression of one's regret, remorse, or sorrow for having insulted, failed, injured, or wronged anotherTo reiterate, yes, I believe the Lord and Jesus would apologise in amends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Backroads Posted October 9, 2012 Report Share Posted October 9, 2012 Jesus would absolutely apologise for hurting someone else, regardless, of it being unintentional. That is who He is.I think what Vort is saying is that Jesus would never do something wrong--therefore, has nothing to apologize about.I don't think Jesus ever apologized for people feeling bad about their sins. He did not give them unneeded guilt and he certainly gave them advice to change, but he never said "I'm sorry my teachings made you feel bad about your sin." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applepansy Posted October 9, 2012 Report Share Posted October 9, 2012 (edited) The way I see it is you were wrong for offending them, and that is what you are apologizing for. You are not apologizing for the thing which you are right about. Just because the phrase "I'm sorry" is in there, doesn't make something an apology, sometimes the phrase is actually used to demonstrate empathy towards another.Sometimes people will be offended no matter what you do. They choose to be offended. There is even a conference talk about taking offence where none is intended.Even if you didn't do anything to deliberately give offense (you're in the right) its still the right thing to do to apologize sincerely. :)"God will help us to be more forgiving, to be more willing to walk the second mile, to be first to apologize even if something wasn’t our fault, to lay aside old grudges and nurture them no more." --Pres. Uchtdorf Edited October 9, 2012 by applepansy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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