Daughter's baptism

[Guest]

My daughter is getting baptized next month. When I was a kid, you got baptized, had ice cream with your family, and that was it. Now it seems like it's become a bigger production. I don't care about church culture or status quo, but I do want to do the polite and proper thing.

Most family that will be coming will be driving anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour. It's a stake baptism at 4:00, so won't be done until after 5. . .right around dinner time. That makes cookies or something simple seem insufficient. With people driving that distance and the meeting finishing at dinner time, are we somewhat obligated to provide some kind of meal afterward?

We're going through a busy, destructive, hard phase with the toddlers and having people over to our house would be hard. I guess we could try to reserve space to eat at the church instead. I just wonder if we need to go to the trouble.

[Jenamarie]

I would go the reserve-church-space route and just buy pre-made sandwhiches (Subway or Costco, etc) with a giant bag of chips dumped into a bowl, and ice water. Maybe even a white sheet cake (Costco again) if your DD would like that. Set up some tables, but I wouldn't go so far as table clothes.

[classylady]

When my children were baptized we had quite a lot of family attend. I just thought it was the nice thing to do, to offer dinner because of their effort in attending. We did it at our home, not the church, but the church would be fine as long as you can get it reserved. Some of the meals we had: potato bar with chili, rolls with ham and salads, turkey dinner, chicken salad on croissants with salads, and potluck.

[skippy740]

Set up some tables, but I wouldn't go so far as table clothes.

I recommend keeping clothes on at the table... especially in the church.

(You probably meant 'cloths'.)

[Iggy]

We just had a baptism two weeks ago. 8 year old, mommy, daddy and 3 younger siblings, both sets of grandparents, daddy's 4 siblings and all of their children, mommy's 3 siblings and all of their children. All of the Primary Presidency and her teacher plus spouses attended, Her CTR class mates and parents. Quite of few of the members were there too.Plus 2 of the three Branch Presidency and wives. HUGH group!

The baptism was at 8 AM - she was confirmed at the same time. No food or snacks were offered. All of her family went to one of the local resort restaurant for breakfast ~ Family only.

Not one of the branch members felt slighted or offended.

Do what you and your immediate family is comfortable with, and not what you think the ward is expecting. If your daughter wants to invite all of the kids from primary to cake and ice cream at your house AFTER dinner, then do so. If she just wants to be with family - so much the better.

[viannqueen3]

I like jennamarie's idea of sandwiches and chips. You could always have people bring side dishes if you want to do something more elaborate.

I think it's courteous to have more than just token refreshments if it's close to dinner time. My cute niece was baptized recently and the service started either at 5pm or 6pm (I can't remember). Pretty much all the family members, us included had to travel over an hour to get there. Honestly I was kind of annoyed that basically right after the baptism we had to run over to a local restaurant and spend $25-30 to feed my little kids because all they were all starving. My SIL was just having cookies and light refreshments afterwards. Which is fine if your an adult, but my little kids aren't going to last on snacks alone during a four hour event that's happening during dinner time (figuring one hour travel time both ways, one hour service and one hour spent and family members home after).

[pam]

Personally I don't think you are obligated to feed them all dinner just because it falls within the dinner hour.

To me baptisms are meant to be kept simple and special. Not to be something to have to stress over.

[Backroads]

Why not just announce a potluck?

[Bini]

I would go the reserve-church-space route and just buy pre-made sandwhiches (Subway or Costco, etc) with a giant bag of chips dumped into a bowl, and ice water. Maybe even a white sheet cake (Costco again) if your DD would like that. Set up some tables, but I wouldn't go so far as table clothes.

That's exactly what I was going to say.

I attended a wedding not too long ago, and the catering were various sandwiches assembled by and from Costco. Worked out great for everyone that attended. You can also grab a big quantity of dessert that will feed the many :) Like a cake, or cupcakes, or cookies.. After all, it's a baptism and I suspect there will be a lot of kiddos running around.

[Bini]

Personally I don't think you are obligated to feed them all dinner just because it falls within the dinner hour.

To me baptisms are meant to be kept simple and special. Not to be something to have to stress over.

Eowyn is not obligated. That said, it sounds like SHE is considering it more so than not. Providing something (lite snacks or otherwise) if she desires will be a generous gesture.

[Bini]

Why not just announce a potluck?

I may have read into the OP but if some guests are traveling an hour away, transporting unrefrigerated food for that long could be an issue, even when on ice.

Side thought. Maybe if people are interested in having dinner together, suggest that people chip in X amount of dollars, or just go out and have everyone pay for themselves? I think that's a reasonable solution if people want to visit over a meal..