Caught wanting

[RipplecutBuddha]

Don't worry, I've not gone off an broken any LoC standards, but the strangest thing happened a few weeks ago.

There's this 21 year old woman that has become a regular weekly guest at our diner, and she'd been coming in with this guy I had assumed was her boyfriend. As they became regular visitors we talked an joked with each other casually, building friendships between both of them and my night crew as well as myself.

So far, everything's cool and level. So then one night this woman asks me how old I am. I tell her I'm 38 (which is true). And then she asks me out. Turns out the guy she comes in with is her adoptive brother, and is married. I very warmly accepted her invitation, but my mind was reeling, to say the least. The last thing I expected to come out of her mouth actually did.

Well, we dated for a week, and went out on two dinner dates. After a couple days of minor text chat, she told me she wanted to break it off, that she needed to think more about her future, etc.... Of course I was very understanding, and secretly was rather glad to see a break quite early on, rather than drag it out over time. I was getting comfortable with her company, but there was a constant part of me that would not ignore the age gap.

Now we are still friends, and they still come in every weekend. They're genuinely good people.

Now for my issue. I moved to Cheyenne immediately after my divorce was filed. It took me a year to get thorugh the emotional impact of it, and ever after that I have settled back down into bachelorhood rather comfortably. However five years into the single life, after this little episode I catch myself wanting to get a real relationship going again. I loved being married, and I seriously want to get sealed to the best woman I can possibly attract. However the options in this town are limited when dealing with a near 40-year-old. Certainly I don't think I ought to be out courting 21-year-olds, but I can't ignore the command from HF. Prayer is helping a lot, but the gentle push to start looking is obvious.

Maybe I should ask HF to start kicking some good candidates my way....

[Dove]

I would say to go for it... You definitely have an advantage as, after a certain age, women certainly do outnumber the men in church membership. I'm trying to say that the field is open for you to begin looking, even if it is not immediately in Cheyenne.

Yes, ask Heavenly Father to guide you to a good person/mate/spouse~ No better way to go about it. The name you chose, "RipplecutBuddha" seems to point to you being fit and attractive. You probably won't have any problem finding a beautiful woman to nest with.

Best of Wishes

[Anddenex]

I think asking HF to "gently push" some potential candidates your way is much better than "kicking" them your way.

[Guest SquidMom]

I wouldn't worry too much about the age gap. As long as the woman is mature and looking for the same things in life as you, it can work out. Alot of women want an older man, anyway..... :)

[annewandering]

I wouldn't worry too much about the age gap. As long as the woman is mature and looking for the same things in life as you, it can work out. Alot of women want an older man, anyway..... :)

Agreed! Now on to the real point of my post. Squidmom! Those kittens are even cuter than the one in my avatar!!!

[Guest]

I have cousins...

[RipplecutBuddha]

It's just that I've never been asked out before. I always did the asking before this, so I was caught off guard by more than just a bit. I seriously was not even pondering dating anyone until this happened. I suppose I could interpret it to mean the Lord wants me at least looking around a bit, as though he might see an opportunity coming for me that I don't see.

Just for background I work at a hotel/diner on the overnight shift across the street from a bar. The bars here in Wyoming close at two AM so we get hit by the drunks that want to eat. Allow me to assure you how unattractive the most gorgeous woman can be if she's a loud, foul-mouthed, slobbering drunk willing to hit on anything male with two legs, a pulse, and a brainwave.

I think the Lord is just reminding me of how good marriage can be, and that he wants me in one. I guess I just thought I'd have to wait until I was in a better position financially and career-wise before I could make a serious effort of it. I'm probably under-estimating myself, of course, but it's how I see it.

I appreciate the comments and support, and unfortunately my body is more along the lines of the happy buddha rather than my avatar....that one's inside...

[classylady]

Of course I have no idea if this was the Lord's way of telling you to get back out into the dating field and start looking for an eternal companion. But, the experience has opened your mind up to the possibility. I say, "go for it."

[mnn727]

There are LDS Singles sites and they work. Just google LDS Singles, you'll come up with 4 main websites for meeting singles.

[miztrniceguy]

Hey, I lived in Wyoming when I met my wife on the internet. We just celebrated our 10 year anniversary and today is our son's 7th birthday. We are only 2 years apart in age. We got married when I was 36 and she 34.

Edited December 15, 2012 by miztrniceguy

[Vort]

We hot married

The best way.

[SanctitasDeo]

The best way.

I was waiting for that. I didn't have to wait long.

[Guest SquidMom]

Agreed! Now on to the real point of my post. Squidmom! Those kittens are even cuter than the one in my avatar!!!

I don't know, the thumb sucking is pretty adorable.... I stole them from my sister's Facebook page :)

[C_T_R]

I loved being married, and I seriously want to get sealed to the best woman I can possibly attract. However the options in this town are limited when dealing with a near 40-year-old.

The best woman you can possibly attract? What does that mean? It sounds like you're looking for a woman that fits some sort of resume that you think is on your "level." Look for love. I mean love. Who cares if she's "above" you or "below" you if you buy into that jargon. I would say options, anywhere, are limited when you're looking for someone you're attracted to and compatible with on such a deep level. But then, I'm an idealist. It just sounds like, from your statement, you'd still be somehow settling because she would just be on your level.. and that there would be "better" women out there, but this is as good as you can get.

I dunno, maybe you didn't mean that? Maybe you did. Just rubbed me wrong. Think about it.

[Guest SquidMom]

The best woman you can possibly attract? What does that mean? It sounds like you're looking for a woman that fits some sort of resume that you think is on your "level." Look for love. I mean love. Who cares if she's "above" you or "below" you if you buy into that jargon. I would say options, anywhere, are limited when you're looking for someone you're attracted to and compatible with on such a deep level. But then, I'm an idealist. It just sounds like, from your statement, you'd still be somehow settling because she would just be on your level.. and that there would be "better" women out there, but this is as good as you can get.

I dunno, maybe you didn't mean that? Maybe you did. Just rubbed me wrong. Think about it.

I'm a girl (may be obvious...) and the real truth is that girls like hot bodies. BUT, we LOVE a good man. The "best woman you can attract" is one that will love every imperfection that you have as if you were Adonis, because she just thinks that YOU are that great! Oh yeah, they're out there. We're not as shallow as men think we are. My husband of 8 yrs is 5'7", 215 lbs, (was 280 a yr ago) and hasn't had a full head of hair since he was 18. I think he's gorgeous.

Don't settle for anyone that doesn't measure up to Your needs and expectations. Because, whatever you look like, you deserve to be recognized and appreciated for who you are inside.

[RipplecutBuddha]

When I say the best woman I can possibly attract, I come from a vantage point of understanding that the majority of women out there are above me by at least a little bit. I've dated 6 women in my life, and married one for almost three years. I looked up to each of them as examples of fine women unique in their own manner, yet worthy of the best I could give them. I've rarely been critical of any woman, unless their behavior was blatantly intended to offend or draw attention to themselves. That I just don't deal well with from anyone, much less a girlfriend.

The only real standard I have is that I'd prefer a woman who is a member, or interested in becoming one. My ex-wife is Methodist and was never interested in joining the church. It wasn't the reason we divorced, but I strongly believe the marriage was not as united against the world as it could have been, and the different faiths played a part in that.

[pam]

Do you like older women?

[RipplecutBuddha]

My ex-wife was almost five years older than me, so sure

Though it would really put the AG working relationship into an interesting dimension....