the spirit of christmas or lack ther of

[bcguy]

My brother is hosting Christmas at his place this year. While that is fine, what he is asking everyone to do is not. He is asking everyone to give one person, assigned to them a name, which they will buy them a gift cards. I can see the event last no longer then 10 minutes.

To me, that does not sound like a personal way to express gratitude to some one in the form of a gift. While some times, the gift may not always meet the taste of the person "clothing is a good example" it does show a sense of surprise.

Example would be , I emailed my sister-in law and wanted to borrow her rock tumbler. She has not gotten back to me. The idea was to tumble some agates that I spent several days looking for on the sands of the Oregon coast. I would tumble them, then when they were nice and shinny, I would make small holes in them and turn them into bracelets. I would give them as gifts to my Nieces.

I still to this day, have customer made items from mom and grandmother from the 1970s.

BTW, I am not to thrilled the way companies are to commercializing Christmas.

Edited December 21, 2012 by bcguy

[NeuroTypical]

Christmas griping - glad it's part of your family experience too.

[Guest]

My brother is hosting Christmas at his place this year. While that is fine, what he is asking everyone to do is not. He is asking everyone to give one person, assigned to them a name, which they will buy them a gift cards. I can see the event last no longer then 10 minutes.

To me, that does not sound like a personal way to express gratitude to some one in the form of a gift. While some times, the gift may not always meet the taste of the person "clothing is a good example" it does show a sense of surprise.

Example would be , I emailed my sister-in law and wanted to borrow her rock tumbler. She has not gotten back to me. The idea was to tumble some agates that I spent several days looking for on the sands of the Oregon coast. I would tumble them, then when they were nice and shinny, I would make small holes in them and turn them into bracelets. I would give them as gifts to my Nieces.

I still to this day, have customer made items from mom and grandmother from the 1970s.

BTW, I am not to thrilled the way companies are to commercializing Christmas.

I agree. The gift card idea is lame. Okay, I believe the "dictate what gift to give" over-all is lame. Sure, my kid writes down a Christmas list asking for what they want for Christmas. But, they don't expect to get them. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. Sure, if you want to ask somebody what they want for Christmas, that's cool. But nobody should expect to get exactly what they want for Christmas. It kinda just ruins the spirit of "gift giving".

[Guest]

We totally got rid of the pointless family gift exchange in hubby's family 2 years ago. I am SO happy.

My family just doesn't do anything anymore. There are too many of us. We get together and have a fun white elephant exchange.

[Guest]

We totally got rid of the pointless family gift exchange in hubby's family 2 years ago. I am SO happy.

My family just doesn't do anything anymore. There are too many of us. We get together and have a fun white elephant exchange.

[Backroads]

We all draw names, like we've done for years, and assign a price limit. It works. My MiL, however, dictates to her children exactly what they will be getting her.

[pam]

We don't do gift exchanges either. We just get together on Christmas night for pie. It's good enough for me.

[bcguy]

The best one is one made by my grandmother. Wow is all I can say, looked like a tree with purple quarts leaves.

My Grandfather made my Grandmother a table made if rare hard to find agates, amethyst and minerals. They were laid in a cast and clear acrylic was poured over the top of the minerals. The final layout looks like a dear head. I am the third person in the family to inherent it the table.

Did the idea of giving out Christmas gifts by Saint Nick to children or did it originate with the kings giving gifts to baby Jesus?

[pam]

I'm not always appreciative of homemade gifts no matter the thought. I've received some pretty hideous homemade gifts over the years. Notice I said not always. I've received some pretty awesome ones too.

[NeuroTypical]

Did the idea of giving out Christmas gifts by Saint Nick to children or did it originate with the kings giving gifts to baby Jesus?

Wise men, not kings. Young child Jesus, not baby. The point being, stuff morphs around so much in cultures, does it matter?

If you ever tire of being the relative that gripes, you should try being the relative that refuses to buy gifts because it ain't scriptural. If you do that, I'd personally paypal you a dollar if you came here and shared how it went.

[SanctitasDeo]

Wise men, not kings. Young child Jesus, not baby. The point being, stuff morphs around so much in cultures, does it matter?

This tends to be how I think. Christmas is such a mashed-up bunch of traditions from various versions of Christianity, pagan religions, nations, and cultures that I don't know that we can know where exactly stuff came from.

Personally, I don't really care that much (although it would be fascinating to know). I will use the traditions I like and that help my family celebrate the condescension of God.

I am at my in-laws right now. They do a white elephant thing rather than go through the complications of other systems. My parents don't have a system yet; I am their only married child. My siblings and I have always given each other a combination of homemade and other gifts depending on the year and what we know the others want or need.

Mostly, Christmas is a great time to be with family, help people, and think about Christ.

[Suzie]

If you do that, I'd personally paypal you a dollar if you came here and shared how it went.

Geez Loudmouth_Mormon, it's almost Christmas! Where is your spirit of generosity?

[bcguy]

Lots of history both good and bad about the church of the Nativity in Bethlehem. Seems Palestinians mostly live in the area. If you have not seen pictures of the supposed birthplace is, its interesting.

Church of the Nativity, Bethlehem

Also, I think it would be very interesting to spend time with a host family from each country. There are a couple very nice video examples of this on youtube.

[pam]

Not sure what the point was in mentioning mostly Palestinians live in the area.

[Guest]

I don't get the white elephant for gift-giving thing. I have a gigantic family. No need to give gifts. You can give if you like, you don't have to if you can't or don't like. We usually get Christmas cards even when we don't get a gift. Some is as simple as a folded piece of cardboard decorated with crayons/markers. White elephant is just a game thing - you can join if you like, you don't have to if you don't. And if we do hold it (it depends on whether we have enough people who wants to join in), it's always stuff in your house, not something you buy.

Gift-giving IS the thought. The desire to give somebody something as a material representation of how much you care or how you were thinking about them. It can be a pebble you found in your shoe that made you think of a time you were such a pain to your sister's neck, so you wrap it in paper with a note that says, "This pebble was in my shoe and it made me think of how much a pain I was and how patient and forgiving you were and how I have never told you how grateful I am for having a sister like you." Somehow, the "There, I gave a gift to somebody. Check." tradition of the White Elephant just doesn't make sense.

I treasure the homemade ones no matter how hideous. If my sister ever gives me a pebble from her shoe I would treasure it more than if she would have given me a 5 karat diamond that doesn't mean anything. I've made a lot of homemade ones and the effort it takes to make it always comes with thinking about who you're giving it to. That's the gift... not the "stuff". I find it more special than stuff from the store.

You know, now I got to thinking about gifts and my sister and this reminds me of the first time my sister gave my dad a Christmas gift. She must have been 6 years old or so. She wrapped a bag of popcorn (in the Philippines, theater popcorn is 1/10 the size of the microwaveable popcorn bags) and gave it to my dad. When my dad opened it, he completely understood why my sister gave him popcorn! A few weeks before that, I was whining about wanting a balloon after we got out of Church (there's always these balloon and popcorn vendors outside the Church) and my dad refused to buy it saying, "I can't even afford popcorn, how much more for something that you can't eat and would probably end up flying away!". So she spent money she's saved from her daily allowance and bought my dad popcorn. My dad took a few bites of the popcorn just to show my sister he liked the gift and then he kept the popcorn for a while right on his bedside table to "savor the thought". It lasted months!

Edited December 22, 2012 by anatess

[Dove]

Errr, what's so wrong with giving a gift to anyone under any circumstances?

It seems to me that beauty is in the eye of the beholder in this case.

I remember there being white elephant gifts given in my Orchestra class. I brought a generic gift and we made a game out of the different gifts brought and who got what. It was a fun and fulfilling Christmas experience to me at the time~being 14 and in Orchestra.

Maybe the name you will be assigned is someone who needs a gift this year, from somebody/anybody. Any gift given with sincere intent/effort to make it a nice gift will usually be accepted with gratitude by a wise person who knows not to look a gift horse in the mouth.....

Oh yeah, you said all you could bring was a "gift card." Have you thought of maybe breaking that rule and bringing a gift you would like to give? That may make this an easier pill to swallow.

Best wishes

Dove

[Bini]

We do gift exchange and I LOVE it. I love gifting others, there's just something about it that gives me the warm fuzzies all over, and it's nice being thought of too. The ballpark amount for gift exchange in our family is $30 (give or take a few bucks). That is what everyone has agreed upon.