Patriarchal Blessing Qualms-- help?

[madhats]

So about a week ago, I received my patriarchal blessing. I prayed for a long time beforehand that it would reveal what I needed to do in this life, relationship wise. Among other things, it promised that I would be married to a young man in the temple (am I allowed to say that...?)

Problem? Sadly, yes. I express homosexual tenancies and was planning on living celibate for my life. I hoped that my patriarchal blessing would confirm my decision.The thought of being with a man, at least in this life, is not one I am able to cope with. It makes my anxiety disorders inflame. For the sake of my sanity, marriage is a terrible idea during this life.

So why was it promised in my blessing? What do I do from here? i asked my mom, and she said it may have to do with the next life, but no: it also mentioned kids.

I'm sorry. I feel like a repulsive human being, but I cannot do this. It repels me. Am I allowed to continue with celibacy, or, since it was promised in my blessing and since I specifically prayed for the answer to appear in said blessing, would it be a sin to not marry?

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

Bless your heart. I'm sorry you are having this struggle.

A couple things that came to my mind...

First, your mom could be right. Even with kids, it could still be talking about the next life. My niece's blessing mentioned marriage and kids and she died of a brain tumor at 18. Perhaps she will have children during the millennium. I don't know how that will all work out, but I believe it will.

Second, sometimes homosexual people do marry to people of the opposite sex and have happy marriages. I wouldn't recommend it to everyone, but sometimes it can work. You don't need to decide right now is all I am saying. Are you familiar with Josh Weed's blog. He is one of those people, but others have mentioned on his blog that they are making it working, and I listened to a podcast once about such a marriage. Again, I don't say this to pressure...if you don't want to think about it, that is ok. I'm just trying to help you put your mind at ease that it does work for some people.

For now, I would say try to enjoy the rest of your blessing, and try not to focus on the part you don't understand.

[Anddenex]

I would recommend this video from a young man who also has homosexual tendencies, and in light of this story -- this could be you also. The link doesn't connect you with the correct video, however once on the site scroll to the bottom of the page and click to view "Ty's Story."

The atonement of our Savior provides saving grace, an enabling power beyond our current strength. When we exercise faith in this enabling power, elements in our lives we thought impossible might actually become possible.

Your patriarchal blessing is not a must, but according to your faithfulness. I would not move forward with any marriage until you are comfortable, and that you be open and honest with your partner should you move forward.

[EarlJibbs]

I think there are a lot of us that ponder our Patriarchal blessings and suppose that the things talked about will happen fairly soon. There are so many things that I thought only applied to me as a youth, but come to find out that they can apply anytime. And others seem specific, that I have not been able to recognise being fulfilled or not.

I am sorry for your trials. Do not be discouraged. Who knows when the things mentioned can come to pass. I think that we live in a way that we will be worthy of the blessings and the rest will work itself out. I wish you the best of luck.

[MorningStar]

The blessings promised are based on our faithfulness, so just focus on the things you can do and you never know - you might be surprised one day and find the perfect guy. :)

[MarginOfError]

My patriarchal blessing states that I will be able to use my musical talents to bring in financial gain for my family. It hasn't happened yet and I've entirely given up any pursuit of music. I simply lack the desire, the drive, and the talent to make that happen. It was something I was interested in at the time I received my blessing, but my desire faded. I don't lose any sleep over it.

I haven't ruled out the possibility that something could happen in the future to make that promise come true, but if it is going to happen, it's going to have to fall into my lap and I'm okay with that.

I would advise that you not worry too much about that part of your blessing. Focus on being the best person you can be right now. Then, if 10 years down the road you happen to find that one rare man that you are sexually attracted to, you'll be prepared to be with him. If you don't meet that person, then you'll still be prepared to be happy and righteous woman. But don't let one phrase sour the entire experience. Happiness can still be found regardless of whether or not every last promise in your patriarchal blessing comes true.

[Jennarator]

I agree with your mom. Patriarchal blessings are eternal.

[Guest]

My husband's patriarchal blessing says he will bring NATIONS unto Christ. NATIONS. He didn't serve a mission.

Then, years later, he met me. Filipino. Catholic. He thought about his patriarchal blessing about Nations and he laughed... I was a very die-hard Catholic and when we married, I told him that I was born Catholic, I am Catholic, and I will die Catholic. And so he thought, well, I guess his patriarchal blessing was to make sure he supports me in following Christ as a Catholic.

Anyway, years later, I'm LDS, my Filipino-American kids are baptized by the power and authority of the Priesthood, and several of my Filipino ancestors have had their temple work done.

You never know what it means down the road. It may mean somebody in your family is going to have tons of children and you get to help them raise those kids... who knows. But, one thing is for certain, if you are already convinced nothing of the sort is going to happen to you, then you will fulfill your own prophecy. A cup that is already full cannot be filled with new stuff.

[Jennarator]

Random thought. You find a best friend (man) you marry him, never consummate and adopt.....not saying it is ideal or anything.....just want to say you never know what is going to happen. Something else could happen that you just haven't thought of. Could still happen in the earthy time, or it could be eternal.....you don't know. Pray and ask for confirmation of this blessing. Tell Heavenly Father what party you snuggle with and ask him to confirm it's truthfulness to you. You will get a peaceful feeling. You will know it is a real blessing meant for you.

[THIRDpersonviewer]

So about a week ago, I received my patriarchal blessing. I prayed for a long time beforehand that it would reveal what I needed to do in this life, relationship wise. Among other things, it promised that I would be married to a young man in the temple (am I allowed to say that...?)

Problem? Sadly, yes. I express homosexual tenancies and was planning on living celibate for my life. I hoped that my patriarchal blessing would confirm my decision.The thought of being with a man, at least in this life, is not one I am able to cope with. It makes my anxiety disorders inflame. For the sake of my sanity, marriage is a terrible idea during this life.

So why was it promised in my blessing? What do I do from here? i asked my mom, and she said it may have to do with the next life, but no: it also mentioned kids.

I'm sorry. I feel like a repulsive human being, but I cannot do this. It repels me. Am I allowed to continue with celibacy, or, since it was promised in my blessing and since I specifically prayed for the answer to appear in said blessing, would it be a sin to not marry?

It must be hard to hear something you were not expecting in the blessing, especially when you took time to think and to ponder what you felt would be best.

I just re-read my blessing the other day. I felt like I have coasted for the last little while in my life, its been busy, stressful and so forth. And I felt fearful that I hadnt been doing my part to fulfill my blessing. The truth was when I finally read it, it really put me in a position to reflect and see where my life is, what I needed to do in order to fulfill the Lord's purposes for me.

I think that realization hit me was that it is the Lord's will, desire, for us. Even though I felt uncomfortable and that I FELT and EXPECTED something regarding the outcomes of the blessing, the Lord felt otherwise and let me know.

He only let me know after months of not reading my blessing and I finally deciding that I needed to face my challenge and accept whatever is best for me. Me not reading was me not being willing to stand up and face the trial but me just running away and ignoring it. The day, very literally the day, when you set aside fear to accept whatever the Lord has in mind for you, then you will be filled with much peace. You will feel a greater confidence in what the Lord has promised.

Thats what has happened for me. I know the issues are different, but the reality is that we all go through things that are hard. What me be hard for me is easy for you. Dont qualify what you are struggling through to be more than what others have experienced. I guarantee that most people in this world have had sexual struggles(I won't absolute everyone, but literally 99.99%). Heterosexual and homosexual alike. It's something that in both cases we learn control. Learn discipline. So this advice, I hope is a loving encouragement that the Lord really is watching out for you. God is giving you what you need to grow. To help you feel love. To help you feel that you are His daughter. You can talk to Him, He will answer at different times and in different ways, but be as open as you can to what He wants you to do. I know He loves you. He will always love you.

[mnn727]

Patriarchal Blessings can take years to have effect. I was kind of disappointed in mine when I got it, as the years go by (20 now) I can see things in it I did not understand when I received it.

Give yourself time, stay faithful and don't worry about it. Put it away in a safe spot for a while, pull it out every few years and read through it, you might be surprised.

Edited April 2, 2013 by mnn727

[Finrock]

Good afternoon madhats! I hope you are doing well. :)

So about a week ago, I received my patriarchal blessing. I prayed for a long time beforehand that it would reveal what I needed to do in this life, relationship wise. Among other things, it promised that I would be married to a young man in the temple (am I allowed to say that...?)

Problem? Sadly, yes. I express homosexual tenancies and was planning on living celibate for my life. I hoped that my patriarchal blessing would confirm my decision.The thought of being with a man, at least in this life, is not one I am able to cope with. It makes my anxiety disorders inflame. For the sake of my sanity, marriage is a terrible idea during this life.

So why was it promised in my blessing? What do I do from here? i asked my mom, and she said it may have to do with the next life, but no: it also mentioned kids.

I'm sorry. I feel like a repulsive human being, but I cannot do this. It repels me. Am I allowed to continue with celibacy, or, since it was promised in my blessing and since I specifically prayed for the answer to appear in said blessing, would it be a sin to not marry?

In my experience and from hearing others' stories this is what I have learned: Meanings and blessings of a patriarchal blessing become clear over time as you regularly refer to the blessing with faith.

On a side note, I think the implied blessing from what you have shared is wonderful. If fulfilled, it means you will be free from your anxieties and you will be able to enjoy all of what the gospel of Jesus Christ has to offer us in mortality. Temple marriage also ultimately implies exaltation. I think those are marvelous and wonderful blessings!

Regards,

Finrock

[BadWolf]

Let me tell you a story about my uncle...

At his funeral, there were over 100 children. None were his, and we all were his. Nieces & nephews by blood, our own children (great N&N), god children, interns/ students/ mentees.

There were over 400 adults.

My uncle died "alone".

Not married.

No children of his own.

But his funeral was a carnival.

Hundreds of people who loved him.

Hour after hour of people telling funny stories.

Walls of photos: snowball fights, field trips, kayaking, climbing, swimming... A few passersby thought we were holding a fundraiser for a children's organization or overseas orphanage. Nope. Just a celebration of my uncle's life. Which was fuller & richer than 10.

My uncle died beloved.

Surrounded by a huge family (blood & friendship) of those who cherished him.

______________

One thing Ive learned in my own life, is that life rarely looks how we think it shall, and in 10 years time, its usually mindblowing how different life is from how we thought it would be. For better, for worse, for just our understanding of it.

Here's a thought exercise for you:

Come up with 8 off the wall ways your blessing could be true, but none of which "set" in 10 years.

I'll start you off:

At the age of 91 you marry a Hunza man in rhe karakorum mountains of Pakistan, and like most residents, you & your husband live to 120 years old. After nearly 30 years of marriage you & your husband pass, surrounded by your stepchildren, and great-5th great grandchildren... A matron in the community, beloved by all. You frequently chuckled with your husband over your PB, since he was not only the youngest son of his parents, but seemed to personify the adage "grow old, not up". Until the day he died, he was up to mischief and radiated boyish charm.

Edited April 2, 2013 by BadWolf

[madhats]

Thanks everyone! Also, Iunderstand that there is a degree in the Celestial kingdom where single people are... can I just shoot for that?

[Anddenex]

Thanks everyone! Also, Iunderstand that there is a degree in the Celestial kingdom where single people are... can I just shoot for that?

Yes, however, I believe you will ultimately be happier in our eternal life while living in the highest degree in the Celestial Kingdom.

The question you must ask yourself, "Do you want to experience a 'fullness of joy' or not"?

[Praetorian_Brow]

I have a Patriarchal blessing and it was one of the best spiritual experiences I have had, but I do understand that most of what was communicated to me is not directly from God. Saying that does not lesson the experience for me as I understand that what is said is filtered through the Patriarchs experiences and perceptions.

It is not entirely surprising that most blessings, if not all contain the obvious reminders of family, marriage and temple. The clause that ones faith is not enough for what is written to occur or that the promise will happen with time, seems to be more of a idealistic cover story to prevent people from dwelling on the fact that the Patriarch is human.

What is less obvious is where you are at a certain point in life and practicing the faith that by reading and studying your personal scripture you are practicing your trust in the process of exercising faith.