Just_A_Guy Posted April 3, 2013 Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 "You don’t marry someone because he’s your soul mate; he becomes your soul mate because you married him."Discuss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wingnut Posted April 3, 2013 Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 Great article! Thanks for sharing. I'm not a fan of marrying young, but I don't consider 23 to still be too young. I think the author made a lot of good points about having more time to grow together, and I very much agree with her in a lot of things."You don’t marry someone because he’s your soul mate; he becomes your soul mate because you married him."I've never thought of it this way, but I think it makes a lot of sense. I didn't marry my best friend, but I think I'm married to my best friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anddenex Posted April 3, 2013 Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 Great article! Thanks for sharing. I'm not a fan of marrying young, but I don't consider 23 to still be too young. I think the author made a lot of good points about having more time to grow together, and I very much agree with her in a lot of things.I've never thought of it this way, but I think it makes a lot of sense. I didn't marry my best friend, but I think I'm married to my best friend.I didn't have any problems being married at 23, my wife was 19, and we have a wonderful marriage :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Godless Posted April 3, 2013 Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 I think people should get married when they're ready to do so. Some people are ready at the age of 18-20, others are well into their 30s or 40s. I think emotional maturity and social circumstances are more important factors than age. People need to evaluate the paths that life puts in front of them and find the best one. That path may lead to marriage quickly for some, later for others, or maybe not at all. Marriage is a wonderful thing, but there's no need to rush into it if you're not ready.I was 26 and my wife was 27 when we were married. Our wedding was the culmination of 10 years that consisted of an amazing friendship, a long-distance relationship we weren't ready for, a very ugly breakup, 2 years of not speaking to each other, another long-distance relationship, and almost a year of living together. It was a heckuva journey to get to where we are now, but I wouldn't change a thing. I think marrying her earlier than I did would have been a mistake. The decade preceding our wedding sent us on different paths. For her, it was college. For me, it was three trips to the Middle East and a move to TX. We married when we did because it finally made sense to do so. "You don’t marry someone because he’s your soul mate; he becomes your soul mate because you married him."There's certainly some truth to this line of thinking, but it can easily be used to justify questionable life decisions as well. Your partner doesn't need to be your "soul mate" when you marry, but it definitely helps if you make a solid emotional investment prior to tying the knot. Some people rush into it too quickly. Again, it has nothing to do with age and everything to do with maturity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ploomf Posted April 3, 2013 Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 I can say for me I was in no way ready in my early 20s to get married and looking back at myself I am so glad I didn't. I wasn't in any way to mature enough and with the combination of health issues, faith crises, and family issues that cropped up these last few years it would have put significant strain on a marriage. So I agree with Godless, it really does depend on when you are ready. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted April 3, 2013 Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 Mary Young was Brigham's second wife, whom he married after the death of his first, Miriam. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just_A_Guy Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 I thought it was "Mary Ann"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 3, 2013 Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 If we haven't raised our kids to be ready for marriage in their twenties, we've done something wrong. kids are growing up too slow, in the important ways at least. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted April 3, 2013 Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 I should note that Mary Young didn't marrry young, though she did marry Young. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just_A_Guy Posted April 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 (Historical trivia: The Youngs' marriage license was issued in February, states the ceremony was performed in late March, and their first son was born in October. (You do the math.) Young's non-Mormon biographer John Turner assumes that they had a religious ceremony earlier.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted April 3, 2013 Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 Embedded parentheses? What are you, a mathematician? Or a <shudder> computer programmer? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mnn727 Posted April 3, 2013 Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 "You don’t marry someone because he’s your soul mate; he becomes your soul mate because you married him."My marrying a 'he' in this state is still against the law and also against Church Doctrine, so I would have to say False. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Backroads Posted April 3, 2013 Report Share Posted April 3, 2013 I found it a great article. While I agree there is no set "right time" for anyone to get married, I do think our culture has become adept at making excuses to not get married. It used to be that marriage was practically a social necessity. Nowadays some treat it like a potential burden, something that will just get in the way of life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dahlia Posted April 4, 2013 Report Share Posted April 4, 2013 I was actually going to ask a similar question the other day; I was just thinking about how to phrase it. My son will be 36 in a few days. I know we shouldn't compare, but most of the people in my ward are around this age and they are married with kids. They have started their adult lives. Meanwhile, my son dates and has dated a few girls for a long time, but no marriage yet. Earlier, the excuse was that he was trying to find himself, then he didn't make enough money, then all the girls on match.com wanted guys with degrees, then the girls he met when he went back to college were all planning their own careers and weren't thinking of marriage. It's always something. I'm starting to think that he should find someone he is compatible with, can respect, and likes a lot. Love will come later. He may be dating such a person now, but she's also applying to PhD programs and will put her degree/career first probably. I say 'probably' because some of these chicks finally wake up at age 28 or 30 and realize that they won't be able to have kids forever. She wouldn't be the first to drop out if the right guy came along. Back to my point - I was head over heels crazy in love when I got married at 23. Like Cher in Moonstruck. So much drama. But looking back over time, wouldn't it be nice just to like and appreciate each other and not have all the drama? Can you make a rational decision to be married and just do the best you can? I'd hate to push him into something that could wind up in divorce and with the two of us having to sue her for full custody of the grand kids. : ) But how am I going to get the grand kids (and seriously, happiness and a companion for him, I'm not going to be around forever and he's an only child), if he doesn't get married? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wordnerd Posted April 4, 2013 Report Share Posted April 4, 2013 I thought it was a great article, one of the best results of marrying somewhat young was the experience of "growing up" together. We had a baby and a mortgage (and consequently no entertainment budget) while our friends were still partying it up. It caused us to evaluate much sooner where we wanted to go in life, and what sort of life we wanted for our family. If we had spent our twenties having fun alone, instead of struggling together we would not be nearly as settled as we are now. We weren't "mature" when we got married, it was the struggles that we went through together that matured us. This is what I think is behind the extended adolescence we see in society now, you simply won't grow up unless you take on adult responsibilities and strive to live up to them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted April 4, 2013 Report Share Posted April 4, 2013 I thought it was "Mary Ann"? Mary Ann was in love with the professor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted April 4, 2013 Report Share Posted April 4, 2013 Mary Ann was in love with the professor.You know that if Gilligan's Island had continued another season, Gilligan and Mary Ann would have gotten hitched? True story.Gilligan's first name: Willy. Another true story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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