Missionary Opportunity (for 700 Bucks)

[cenizas]

Hi Folks,

Im new on this forum and am hoping to get some feedback about a situation.

My wife and I live in Utah. She has a an old high school non member friend that has since moved to Alabama. Last Septemberish, she tried to introduce the gospel to her. They exchanged emails, phone calls, and a BOM was given. This was a HUGE step for my wife to make. She hasnt always been so confident in her beliefs, so needless to say, I was extremely proud of her for making the attempt to share the gospel. Unfortunately, the friend wasnt receptive. . . at all. Making me even more proud of her, my wife set a goal for herself. Not being one to give up on someone, she decided she would work hard to prepare herself to try and share the gospel again with her. Her plan was to read the ENTIRE standard works before April general conference. She decided this would help her be more receptive to the spirit, build her testimony and help her answer any gospel related questions her friend might have.

Well, time has gone by and we are quickly approaching April. Im happy to announce that she has in fact finished her reading goal. She has grown so much during this time and is now an incredibly spiritual person. She has come a LONG ways since our courtship. I couldnt be more proud of her.

Just yesterday she called her friend and told her of her intentions to fly out and see her. Not wanting to drop a bomb on her, she told her friend that her intention was more than just a trip to catch up and hang out. The wife told her she wanted to take her to general conference and talk further about the church. Once again, the invitation to learn more about our beliefs was not well received. Her friend told her she is welcome to come out but it is unlikely they will attend general conference together. My wife offered to attend her church in exchange for attending general conference together. Her friend was still unwilling to commit to that. With that knowledge, my wife is still wanting to make the trip.

This is where the 700 bucks comes in. Thats how much its going to cost for a weekend trip. Airfare, car rental, etc. We dont make a lot of money. 700 dollars is a lot for us. I want to be supportive of her efforts, but I have a hard time spending the money on the trip when I dont see it being all that productive. I have been a missionary, and of course ran into many people this stubborn. I just dont see the signs of this going anywhere right now. It doesnt seem to be the right time. So I ask you this. . .how can show my faith, support my wife, while at the same time be sensible?

I NEED some input .....please!

-TA

[Guest MrsS]

My take in a nutshell - if this is what Father wants to happen the money will be there for the trip, with no hardship to you.

[prisonchaplain]

Pray together that if God wants this trip to happen, the money will arise. Short of that miracle, agree that God's timing is not always ours, and continue the patient, slow witness.

BTW, I find the "I'll go to your church if you'll go to mine," approach interesting, and yet I'm uncertain about it. Has anyone here done this (with any faith tradition)? What are your thoughts.

[MaidservantX]

Doesn't she also see where the money is coming from and where it is going? Doesn't she see the whole financial picture with you and doesn't she have a solution for what is going to happen with other needs and expenses if this trip is taken?

I personally wouldn't take this missionary experience this far, BUT, I do not know what the Spirit is telling your wife (and you). You have a right to get confirmation from the Lord on this matter to see if it is worth the investment.

Just in a brief post with limited information about your financial picture (which of course you should not share it all with us online, lol), it's hard for anyone to say whether you can afford to go. Everyone including spouses have different ideas about how to define 'afford'. I personally like to put a little money out there for things above the basics, even if it means I have to work harder before and after, and a missionary (slash honeymoon?) trip could be just the thing for you guys.

If you don't have $700 for a ANY kind of trip, or you are not able to meet your expenses currently, I think you should be realistic. I don't think the Lord expects that kind of sacrifice from your wife, nor does he (unless she is feeling some special prompting of the Spirit) expect her to try to be spiritually heroic in this situation. Although I've been there -- you feel like, what else is life for if not to try to shepherd our brothers and sisters; and some times we go about it even when we feel fears and inexperience, and I think the Lord is glad when we just do our best, which it sounds like your wife is trying to do and I'm glad you are supporting her.

But money is money. Whatever you use has to come out of somewhere.

[CrimsonKairos]

BTW, I find the "I'll go to your church if you'll go to mine," approach interesting, and yet I'm uncertain about it. Has anyone here done this (with any faith tradition)? What are your thoughts.

Not a "show me yours I'll show you mine" type deal, but me and a few buddies skipped LDS Institute one night to go to a local synagogue. It was cool, I enjoy Judaism and Hebrew so it was cool. I don't think I've done a quid-pro-quo thing though as far as church attendance with another faith.

[prisonchaplain]

I think I'll start a new string. This should be interesting . . .

[LT04]

The Elder missionaries in my ward did the quid-pro-quo with an investigator last summer. It worked he became a member now hes in the Elders quorum presidency.

As far as the $700 can't say any thing that hasn't been said.

[Dale]

Not everybody, or many people wants to convert over to anothers religion. If the person has rejected your religion backing off is a good idea. I hate it when my Evangelical friends make me a target for witnessing. I hate it when people are out to save my soul.

My own cheap sharing religion technique is to read religious books in front of people. I let a friendly religious conversation take place. If they are interested in my religion I give them more information. If a person becomes a believer, interested investigator through your books, or wants a new church home they will express that need.

Not all spiritual promptings are of God. It's possible to want a friend to convert so bad you confuse your passion for God telling you to do it. Any situation where a friend traps a friend into an uncomfortable witnessing situation does not feel good to me. That will cause the friend to feel they need to avoid you rather than be with you.

I could see possibly see her going down if her friend was getting baptized into your church. But her going down to try & change her mind about the church is a waste of money. Bad bets in life should be avoided.

[begood2]

Dale,

I think you are on the right track! You can't pressure someone into believing the things that you do. At best you'll simply drive them away.

[shanstress70]

Gosh, if a friend of mine was pressuring me like that after I told her I wasn't interested, I'd surely back off. I would tell her that I want her to come visit, but not to pressure me bc I have my own beliefs.

How would your wife feel if this friend was doing the same to her, trying to get her to join her church?

If the friend isn't worth spending $700 just to go spend time with her, don't do it.

[Gwen]

there is a time to be a friend and a time to teach. money is obviously a problem when such a big move takes place. has your wife thought about contacting some members in the area (i live in AL lol), try to build friendships without pressuring? how is your wifes friend adjusting to the move, is she active in a chruch, made friends, that kind of thing? there are many ways to share without losing a friend, but it sounds like, as others have pointed out, that she may do just that.

[cenizas]

Thank you all for your comments. Its interesting to see how some of you have had the same concerns as I, while others are taking the 'faith' approach. After thinking about this more, and having a great talk with the wife, we both feel that our biggest concern about this not the money, but rather the fear of driving this girl further away from the church instead of nearer to it. Sometimes sharing the gospel can be like trying to feed a squirrel. You just gotta take it slow, be consistent, and not make any sudden movements. One unexpected move will definitely chase it away, unlikely to return.

The other thing that we thought of yesterday is the feeling of taking away from the calling of missionaries. It was interesting to think of all the sacrifices missionaries make to fulfill their responsibilities. Not only are the sacrificing and working hard, but we sometimes forget that they are set apart for missionary work. Sending my wife out do basically do their job I feel is a little insulting to missionaries. I feel like it is our responsibility to plant the seed and participate in the missionary work, not necessarily to take it over.

The wife is going to the temple today to think things over and make her decision together. If she comes home and says she still feels like she should go, Im not one to argue with God.

Thanks again for your comments!

[mom_of_jcchlsm]

Don't remember where I heard (read?) this, but it was a statistic that the average person who joins the Church has had three to four positive contacts with Church members before taking the Missionary discuassions. Those early contacts are neighbors, friends at school or co-workers, etc. who share their testimony either directly or through example. They are instrumental in conversion, even if the contact was long ago and is no longer a part of the convert's life. Your wife's friend may not be at a point in her life right now when she is ready to consider the Gospel seriously, but in five years? or ten? Who knows? Perhaps in the future, she will let the missionaries in, simply because she has had a good experience with a few "Mormons" here and there over the course of her life, and your wife's contribution to that will fulfill her missionary desires.

Also, a friend is a friend, with or without conversion. It would look really bad if your wife were to drop this friend like a hot potato because she has rejected the Church at this time in her life. It may create a negative-impression-for-life about the Church. I realize it may be difficult to maintain the friendship, especially at a distance, and it may even be a little embarassing or awkward after her hard-care missionary approach, but a consistent friend is a valuable thing. And as long as they are friends, and the other person knows your wife is LDS, whenever a question about the Church comes up, it will be natural to ask an LDS friend, rather than to seek outside info.

[Maureen]

...BTW, I find the "I'll go to your church if you'll go to mine," approach interesting, and yet I'm uncertain about it. Has anyone here done this (with any faith tradition)? What are your thoughts.

IMO, it doesn't work. I usually find that the one offering to go to "yours" if you go to "theirs" first, never really keeps their word; there's always excuses to not follow through.

M.

[cenizas]

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...BTW, I find the "I'll go to your church if you'll go to mine," approach interesting, and yet I'm uncertain about it. Has anyone here done this (with any faith tradition)? What are your thoughts.

IMO, it doesn't work. I usually find that the one offering to go to "yours" if you go to "theirs" first, never really keeps their word; there's always excuses to not follow through.

M.

I think you are right. Ive gone to several other services with the understanding that someone would be coming to my service. Never worked. They always bailed.

[Maureen]

The other thing that we thought of yesterday is the feeling of taking away from the calling of missionaries. It was interesting to think of all the sacrifices missionaries make to fulfill their responsibilities. Not only are the sacrificing and working hard, but we sometimes forget that they are set apart for missionary work. Sending my wife out do basically do their job I feel is a little insulting to missionaries. I feel like it is our responsibility to plant the seed and participate in the missionary work, not necessarily to take it over.

I think your correct there. Let the missionaries to the missionary work and your wife can do the friendship work. :)

M.

[Newbert_Zero]

Please tell us the outcome of this. I am interested to here if she will end up spending the 700 for a potential missionary experience.