Law of Chastity in divorced male

[TonyB]

Hi all i'm 38 divorced male, new convert to the church and was wondering i was married for a long time, i'm use to intimacy and now i'm single and joined up to the church. i have one daughter i'm raising myself and i was wondering how am i suppose to keep this, i have not done anything yet as in way of sex. Or anything like that i been doing good but i don't understand this is hard and i'm having a hard time understanding this. I been reading the bible as well as the book of Mormon and i only see it listed there. can someone help me understand.

[skippy740]

The law of chastity as taught by the LDS church is simple: Sexual relations are only between a man and a woman who are legally and lawfully wedded to each other.

When divorce happens, we are a chaste people and are to be celibate because we are no longer in a marriage relationship.

I'm divorced too, so I have a decent idea of what we are both missing in our lives.

As far as how to keep it... we just do.

[TonyB]

thanks this makes me feel better to know i'm not the only one :) so basically we just sub stain from sexual encounters with women until married again? If so heck i been doing that all along its been 5 yrs for me know and this is before i was LDS. i just was having a hard time understanding what the law of chastity is And what all was included in this law i understand now and i hope i can last longer then the 5 yrs i try hard.

Edited April 27, 2013 by TonyB

[Leah]

The Law of Chastity is clear. The eternal rewards for keeping it are worth far more than a few moments of physical pleasure.

There are a lot of us...widows, widowers, divorced people...who keep it every day. For years if necessary. It CAN be done.

[Leah]

thanks this makes me feel better to know i'm not the only one :) so basically we just sub stain from sexual encounters with women until married again? If so heck i been doing that all along its been 5 yrs for me know and this is before i was LDS. i just was having a hard time understanding what the law of chastity is And what all was included in this law i understand now and i hope i can last longer then the 5 yrs i try hard.

There is actually more to the LOC than that.

You can find plenty of information at LDS.org. It is spelled out very clearly.

[Dravin]

A direct link from LDS.org on Chastity, it should get you started: Chastity

[TonyB]

thanks all :)

[pam]

Shoot what is sex? I have a vague recollection of it. :)

[Leah]

Shoot what is sex? I have a vague recollection of it. :)

I am pretty sure I had it at least once. I mean, if the fact that I have a daughter mans anything.

Or maybe I found her in the cabbage patch?

[skippy740]

Shoot what is sex? I have a vague recollection of it. :)

I think that's what Eve said in the garden of Eden... but I wouldn't know.

Do you remember Pam?

[pam]

I think that's what Eve said in the garden of Eden... but I wouldn't know.

Do you remember Pam?

Either you think I'm Eve or you have forgotten Eve was the only female in the Garden of Eden. Nice try at the age jab though.

[skippy740]

Eh... it was worth a shot. :)

[selek]

Either you think I'm Eve or you have forgotten Eve was the only female in the Garden of Eden.

Incorrect.

As per the Biblical account:

21 And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

22 And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth.

Eve may have been the only HUMAN female in the Garden, but she was not the only female.

And so, perhaps, rather than an age jab, it might have been a horse of a different color...

[pam]

Incorrect.

As per the Biblical account:

21 And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

22 And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth.

Eve may have been the only HUMAN female in the Garden, but she was not the only female.

And so, perhaps, rather than an age jab, it might have been a horse of a different color...

Oh he knew that I meant the only female HUMAN. Sheesh.

[mnn727]

There are a lot of us...widows, widowers, divorced people...who keep it every day. For years if necessary. It CAN be done.

Even some of us really old married folk

[Vort]

I am pretty sure I had it at least once. I mean, if the fact that I have a daughter mans anything.

Or maybe I found her in the cabbage patch?

Wasn't that Brigham Young's example of lying to kids about sex?

[skippy740]

Incorrect.

As per the Biblical account:

21 And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

22 And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth.

Eve may have been the only HUMAN female in the Garden, but she was not the only female.

And so, perhaps, rather than an age jab, it might have been a horse of a different color...

Were you trying to call Pam... a whale???

We just do age jokes with Pam.

[BadWolf]

ROFL... Im glad someone ELSE went "A whale??? How is that an improvement?!?!"

Duck the backhand!

And now back to our regularly scheduled program..

As a divorced chick me'self... I could wish the Law of Chastity read slightly differently (after marriage instead of within marriage). I never USED to be irritated with my libido. Now I have to frequently pick myself up by the scruff of my neck and shake myself.

I don't know for others... But sensory seeking helps moderate the Climbing. Of. The. Walls.

- Music

- Dance

- Sports

- Massage

- Cooking

- Road Trips

- etc.

Aka taking the sensory part of my brain out for a jog on a daily basis.

I just have to be careful NOT to do anything

- Fear based (life affirming sex cravings = defeats the purpose)

- Quantity based (bad news for waistlines & good news for my doctor's new boat)

For ME, quantity is often the hardest. I push myself until Im injured, or just keep eating. What Ive found is that doing things like putting Harissa on Corn, or Chimichurri on rice will give me the Zing! Im looking for without needing to change pants sizes.

[Reason]

The Law of Chastity is clear. The eternal rewards for keeping it are worth far more than a few moments of physical pleasure.

There are a lot of us...widows, widowers, divorced people...who keep it every day. For years if necessary. It CAN be done.

Including married people who have a spouse that refuses any intimacy and will not do anything. I feel your pain. It is hard not let it get you down, almost worse when you are suppose to be able to have and still cannot.

Don't give up, keep the faith, most importantly remember your conversion and what brought you to the Gospel in the first place.