Not sure what else to do. . .

[fedwrongwolf]

So, I've grown up in the church and have a strong testimony. I am 19 and have had plans of going on a mission for years, but for years I have been addicted to masturbation and porn. I have tried many times over the years and my record for stopping was about two months and that was around 6 years ago. my second best was one month and i did that last year. Most of the time it is a week to a week and a half of not viewing it followed by a few days to a week of viewing it.

I have met with my Bishop many times and my stake president a few times, but there is only so much they can help with. We have decided that I could receive my patriarchal blessing after two weeks, the Melchizedek priesthood after a month, and submit mission papers after 6 months.

Over the years my mind began to easily put all other thoughts aside and think about whatever thought is at the forefront. So, each time I'm trying to stop I easily put aside all other thoughts and begin down the wrong path again. I often am able to control myself from this one day, but the following day I just seem to give up the fight. I have realized that with most things in my life i just lack the proper motivation and perseverance. I always know what needs to be done but just can't bring myself to do it.

I am just not sure how to go about this anymore. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[FunkyTown]

Turn off the internet. Just get rid of it. I know you like Facebook. I know you like all those other nice things, but dump it.

Also dump your phone.

You have a million reasons to keep both those things and only 1 reason to get rid of them. The question is: Is that one reason important enough? If it is, then you'll have your answer.

[fedwrongwolf]

The thing is, i have a hard time finding other things i want to do. there are other things, but i lack the the motivation to do those things as well. in addition, my schedule keeps me up late at night. this prevents me from leaving my room or making to much noise so that i don't wake up my family.

I also don't need media every time. My imagination can get away from me at times

Edited August 1, 2013 by fedwrongwolf

[FunkyTown]

The thing is, i have a hard time finding other things i want to do. there are other things, but i lack the the motivation to do those things as well. in addition, my schedule keeps me up late at night. this prevents me from leaving my room or making to much noise so that i don't wake up my family.

I also don't need media every time. My imagination can get away from me at times

Wow. Sounds like you have a lot of reasons to keep those temptations.

[MrShorty]

For reasons I won't go into here, I find myself skeptical whenever we self-diagnose our porn/masturbation/sexual "addictions." If nothing else, I think we way over use the term addiction in these contexts.

If you are truly addicted, my first piece of advice would be to drop the expectation that you will overcome on your own. You may even need to find someone well qualified in addiction recovery to help you (if needed, your bishop should be able to help you find and pay this person for their service).

[Guest]

"Hard" isn't the same as "impossible". You can do hard things. Until you get past the mind block telling you that if it's hard, you can't do it, you won't.

Have you taken advantage of the LDS addiction recovery program? There are likely local meetings that deal with this very issue. As I read on a bishop's blog last night,

I have learned pornography is highly addictive and has nothing to do with sexual appetites and everything to do with escape. And that the habit is never overcome in isolation. - See more at: Confessions of a Mormon Bishop

Go to the meetings and do the work of breaking the habit. Find different escapes. You can do it. It's not just your mission on the line, it's your future marriage, too.

[MarginOfError]

The thing is, i have a hard time finding other things i want to do. there are other things, but i lack the the motivation to do those things as well.

Might you have a condition like depression or ADD? maybe you need professional counselling? Or a support group.

in addition, my schedule keeps me up late at night. this prevents me from leaving my room or making to much noise so that i don't wake up my family.

I also don't need media every time. My imagination can get away from me at times

Is this a work schedule or your own circadian rhythm? There are ways to change yoru sleep habits that involve exercise, discipline, and alarm clocks.

[fedwrongwolf]

Might you have a condition like depression or ADD? maybe you need professional counselling? Or a support group.

I'm kind of beginning to think that I might have sunk into depression at some point over the last couple years.

Is this a work schedule or your own circadian rhythm? There are ways to change yoru sleep habits that involve exercise, discipline, and alarm clocks.

It is a work schedule.

[Lakumi]

yeah porn addiction I see tossed around a lot but I think people often overthink it. I watched it in the past, but deleted it and haven't looked back. It was there but not an addiction, methinks you just need a hobby or something, don't overcomplicate it. something simple at first.

[Saldrin]

The thing is, i have a hard time finding other things i want to do. there are other things, but i lack the the motivation to do those things as well. in addition, my schedule keeps me up late at night. this prevents me from leaving my room or making to much noise so that i don't wake up my family.

I also don't need media every time. My imagination can get away from me at times

Go join a gym, work your body make that a hobby. that can have a profound effect on your brian chem and also like was said get rid of your most convenient access to it.

[james12]

Have you reached bottom yet? Do you realize that all your efforts have failed and that they will continue to do so if you try and use your natural self to free you from the natural man? That no force of will, no "new program" is going to help? If you have realized this then you have taken the first important step. For you are correct, their is simply nothing you can do.

Now take the next step, forget yourself and turn to God. Stop focusing on your problem and humble yourself before him as you never have before. Make the commitment to follow him with all your heart. Then plead for his support. Not once, not twice, but over and over and over again. I promise that if you do so his strength will lift you. It will not be you, for you have tried and failed. It will be Him. But this time, if you are sincere in your effort, you will now succeed because he will be with you. What's more you will have learned how to overcome many obsticles in your life.

[alison_143]

It seems like your head wants to change, but your heart is not willing. You need to have an intense conversation with God like Enos did. Read about Enos and use his example as your inspiration. The desire to stop has to be more than just logical. You need to know you need to stop because the Spirit told you so. Until that happens, your efforts will be in vain.

[MormonMama]

I think you mentioned that the computer is in your room? Get it out of your room. It needs to be in a public place in your house.

I once changed jobs because I had a problem with a strong attraction to a co-worker that was causing me to behave inappropriately. You might also need to change jobs so that you are awake when everyone in the house is too.

And as others have said, you may need outside help beyond your bishop.

Also, do you have pictures of Christ and/or the temple in your room? I find that when inappropriate thoughts pop up, looking at pictures of the Savior, the temple, or other Church-related images helps nip the bad thoughts in the bud. So does singing hymns, especially Primary songs (no way do I want those bad thoughts in my head while teaching my kids Primary songs, so those songs are a big motivator for me to get rid of such thoughts).

Find activities that get you out of the house. As someone else said, join a gym or find some other public activity to do. It might take you awhile to find something you can enjoy (or to learn to enjoy something you don't like at first), but change takes effort.

Walk the grounds of your local temple and go inside the Visitor's Center, if there is one. Do everything you can to fill your mind with appropriate thoughts and images.

Good luck. You CAN do this, but you most likely can't do it alone.

[Quin]

LDS Family services has counselors who can actually evaluate you for addiction/ depression/ etc. Bishops are lovely, but most have no formal training much less specialization.

Q