The adventure of [My name here]

[Gazelem]

Well hello everyone,

I am a 19 year old male who attends BYU-Idaho. I have a strong testimony, a wonderful family, and wonderful friends.

When I went to have my final mission interview with my Stake President in Rexburg, I felt very prompted that I was forgetting something. In the interview, the Stake President told me to come back in a couple weeks because I hadn't been praying about the choice to go on a mission.

I thought that was a very odd thing to pray about because prophets have instructed us to go when we become of age without question, but I prayed anyway. My answer was a pit in my stomach followed by confusion.

"Woah, what?" ~ You-all out there

After more prayer and studying the scriptures that terrible, "You're forgetting something", feeling came back. My mind began to dwell on how ineffective tracting is becoming, which I didn't understand, but it came back to me again and again anyway.

I didn't understand why I was getting these feelings so I asked my roommate for a priesthood blessing. I kept him informed later through my story.

I later prayed for a long period of time in my room and in my prayers I asked to know why I have received these answers.

That night, I dreamt that I was sitting in mission prep and the class had finished. When I stood up to leave, a man stopped me and I had never meet him before. He said:

"You're [My name here], I know who you are. You are a gifted individual. I want to show you something."

He pulled out a tablet computer and showed me visitor statistics on websites I've built. I build websites, and I'm very good at it. I have spent a good portion of my life practicing and honing this talent. He then said:

"This is a project that you have yet to start building"

Then he showed me another visitor statistic that was well into the millions. He said:

"You have been blessed with gifts and talents, which you will use to touch the lives of millions."

At this point in my dream I hadn't realized that it was a dream. I knew I had a class in a few minutes so I tried to wrap it up with the stranger and go to class. He again stopped me and said:

"[My name here], did you really believe your gifts and talents are for your own benefit."

The rest of the next day I walked through my classes feeling like the oh-so-popular poker face meme. I knew that the night before I had prayed to know why I was receiving answers I didn't understand. This lead to another problem though:

What happens when I don't go on a mission? What will people think? I feel like this is a very spiritual experience and not one that I would tell freely, so I can't tell them this story. I tried to explain it to my dad but he cut me off and told me that I had received false revelation. He did advise me to talk to my bishop about this experience.

So I did, and my bishop told me about someone he knew that didn't go on a mission even though his Patriarchal Blessing said he would. He said that he is serving his mission now in his home ward because of his member missionary efforts. He encouraged me to cut my parents and others out of the decision to serve a traditional mission. I followed that council closely.

When the world wide training was broadcasted, they spent a long time talking about member missionary efforts and how missionaries are now to use the internet as a tool for teaching. I knew that I wasn't crazy. I haven't felt the spirit like that in a long time.

The semester ended and I went home to a place where I wish I had stayed in school. My families disappointment is aversive, and they spend a great deal of time trying to talk me into going on a traditional mission, but I know that I have received an answer to my prayers.

When I went to church here in my home ward, I got called into the bishops office and he told me that I was going on a mission and that's final. He said he had prayed to know if everyone should go on a mission and received an answer.

My parents have become more critical of me and my flaws and the bishop here at home isn't helping like the one in Rexburg did.

I know what the lord has asked me to do (which is a longer story), but I would like to know what I should do about my family being so critical and disappointed in me. My options are:

• Go on a mission anyway
• Go back to Rexburg
• Move into my own apartment here in Denver

TL;DR

Boy prays about the choice to go on a mission, receives answer that directs another action. Parents don't approve of Boy. Boy dreads waking up in the morning.

[Lakumi]

Though I don't understand the whole mission thing and how others in the family see it (being...what do you call a person who will convert but who hasn't converted yet?) I can understand at the base of it, leaving everything for two years and how some might not be able to cope with that.

(I'd never go on a mission, being almost 25, not having/willing to spend that kind of money and knowing I could never cope with it).

I hope things work out for you, I don't think being that age is good for anyone, regardless of what they do or what religion they are.

[JodyTJ]

It's totally up to you. Going on a mission is a big thing (I'm not a Mormon yet), and that's two years of your life. If you feel that your prayers are saying go on mission, do it. Just keep your family close. I want to do a mission after a year in the church. For me, it'll be more difficult, seeing as my parents are not LDS. I am going to keep my parents opinions seriously, but I think it would be good to go on a mission.

[TalkativeIntrovert]

I get really cranky when people accuse others of receiving false revelation. We have been told that we can all receive personal revelation and to discredit yours means that they discredit everyone's including the prophet. They are putting their needs above yours to start with! Anyway, off my soapbox.

Not everyone will agree with what you do, whether you go or not. So you need to stand true to yourself and true to the revelations you have received. Hopefully, when the naysayers see how committed you are to following the path you have been shown, they will admire you for your strength, even if they still disagree!

I am not one for quoting scriptures, but if you think to the life of Jesus, he had a lot of people in opposition to what he knew he had to do.

It is a tough situation you are in as your opponents are those you love and respect (family and bishop).

I wish you well, whichever way you go.

[Dark_Jedi]

I feel for you, and empathize with the struggle you must be going through going against the will of your parents and Bishop. I have said this many times before, here and elsewhere, that your experiences are your and yours alone and other people's experiences are theirs and theirs alone. No one else can tell you what you feel, only you know. You must always do what you believe is right.

Just a couple side notes here, both related to the idea that everyone should serve a mission. That is indeed not what the church teaches, and your bishop was out of line telling you what he did, pure and simple. Secondly, Howard W. Hunter did not serve a mission.

[applepansy]

Read your scriptures. There are stories that will help you.

Remember three things: 1- It's never bad to be obedient to parents and bishops. Even IF they are wrong, you will be blessed for being obedient. 2- The Lord is mindful of you. He knows you better than know yourself. 3- Trust the Lord!

The process of turning in your papers to go on a mission is officially saying "I will serve wherever the Lord needs me." If I was in your shoes, I would be obedient and turn in my papers. Then fast and pray that I would be able to do all the Lord asks of me.

[bytor2112]

Two thoughts:

1. The revelation was meant for you only perhaps as insight to future deeds.

2. Serving a mission may better prepare you to accomplish what the Lord has shown you in the future.

[NeuroTypical]

Full disclosure upfront: I did not serve a mission, but I wish that I had.

the Stake President told me to come back in a couple weeks because I hadn't been praying about the choice to go on a mission.

...

I asked my roommate for a priesthood blessing.

...

I later prayed for a long period of time in my room and in my prayers I asked to know why I have received these answers.

...

"You have been blessed with gifts and talents, which you will use to touch the lives of millions."

So, great story so far, but I'm wondering something. Why did you end up interpreting your dream as counsel to not go on a mission? I read your post 3 times, and can't really find that information anywhere. So you've been given gifts and talents that will allow you to build great websites that spread the gospel and accomplish wonderful things. What does that have to do with not going on a mission?

How do you know the dream wasn't along the lines of "don't get complacent after you get back from your mission, because you'll be forwarding the Lord's work through the internet"?

But anyay, back to your story:

I knew that the night before I had prayed to know why I was receiving answers I didn't understand.

...

I tried to explain it to my dad but he cut me off and told me that I had received false revelation.

...

He encouraged me to cut my parents and others out of the decision to serve a traditional mission.

...

When I went to church here in my home ward, I got called into the bishops office and he told me that I was going on a mission and that's final. He said he had prayed to know if everyone should go on a mission and received an answer.

Wait - so one bishop counseled you to make the decision yourself, and your home ward bishop told you he received revelation that you will go on a mission? You specifically, or just "everyone"?

Duelling bishops? Or is there more to the story?

But anyway, all that aside, your main questions:

What happens when I don't go on a mission? What will people think? I feel like this is a very spiritual experience and not one that I would tell freely, so I can't tell them this story.

Meh. Tell those with stewardship over you the truth and then don't talk about it any more. Tell everyone else you're gay and then bat your eyelashes at them until they go away. Who the heck cares what other people think? You'll be sniffed disdainfully at, by women who seek only a RM. Their loss. You'll be treated poorly by people who treat people poorly who don't conform to their expectations of what people should be. Maybe they'll grow up someday and be worthy of your friendship. But you'll also be treated well by folks who understand the role of righteous judgement, and that negatively judging someone else automatically for not going on a mission is unrighteous judgement.

My families disappointment is aversive, and they spend a great deal of time trying to talk me into going on a traditional mission, but I know that I have received an answer to my prayers.

...

My parents have become more critical of me and my flaws and the bishop here at home isn't helping like the one in Rexburg did.

Yeah, this isn't really a mormon specific issue. This is more of a "young man starting to spread his wings in a direction his family doesn't want" thing, and it happens to lots of people. Your duty is clear - love and honor your parents (Those are the two commandments - love, and honor.) Tell your home ward bishop you'd be interested in hosting a conference call between him, and your other bishop, so the two bishops can fight it out and get back to you with a clear coherent story.

I know what the lord has asked me to do (which is a longer story), but I would like to know what I should do about my family being so critical and disappointed in me. My options are:

• Go on a mission anyway
• Go back to Rexburg
• Move into my own apartment here in Denver

Good list. I think you've thought this through. And the start of your story indicates you've also prayed and sought the Lord's counsel.

I'd still like clarity about why you think the Lord counseled you to not go on a mission. I mean, if that's just the part of the story you're not telling us, then ok. But from what you've told us, "Mission now, websites later" seems like a fine inspired life plan to me.

No matter what you decide, I hope you come here early and often. We need more people here who understand internet memes.

Edited August 13, 2013 by Loudmouth_Mormon

[estradling75]

I think you need to pray for further instructions from the Lord.

You have personal revelation which you need to seek further clarification on in regard to timing.

You have those whom God has placed in stewardship over you giving you direction. Simply blowing them off is unwise. You need to council with them as well. You need to find the path that the Lord as set for you that meets the expectation he has for you.

[Jenamarie]

If you believe your website-building skills are your "mission", have you asked the Lord how you can start on it now? Have you prayed about what steps you can take to further those skills, and how to find opportunities to apply them to the spreading of the Gospel?

If you truly believe that this is the mission the Lord wants you to serve, then it's time to start "serving", and let the fruits of your labors speak for themselves, when it comes to others opinions about it. :)

[mnn727]

Just to touch on one thing you said

My mind began to dwell on how ineffective tracting is becoming, which I didn't understand, but it came back to me again and again anyway.

It was just announced 2 weeks ago here that Tracting has been thrown out in 3 Missions (including ours) it is being replace with service, from 10 AM to 4 PM the missionaries do service, thus reaching people though their actions rather than knocking on doors when most people are not home anyway.

We're a "test market" and it appears to be going very well so far.

I am an adult convert so I did not have the opportunity to go on a mission yet, DW and I are looking forward to that when we retire in 10 years.

Now having said that, I see Return missionaries as having great advantages over non-missionaries as relates to: work ethics, ability to handle rejection, goal setting and accomplishment, public speaking, language skills - even those not learning a foreign language have advantages in communication.

Really gives RM's a head start in the business world - something to think about. The final choice however is between you and God.

Edited August 13, 2013 by mnn727

[Dark_Jedi]

Just to touch on one thing you said

It was just announced 2 weeks ago here that Tracting has been thrown out in 3 Missions (including ours) it is being replace with service, from 10 AM to 4 PM the missionaries do service, thus reaching people though their actions rather than knocking on doors when most people are not home anyway.

We're a "test market" and it appears to be going very well so far.

Interesting. The Church has known for a long time that tracting is very unproductive if not counter productive. I think the problem always was that there wasn't something else productive for the missionaries to do when they didn't have appointments. There were many days on my mission where we tracted out of lack of anything better to do just to fill in that "full time" of the full time mission. This would seem to be much more productive than tracting, and actually going into the community and providing something of value can only be good - not to mention the people also serving who will get to know some members of the church in a way they never had before.

That was off track and off topic, so I must say Gazelem I really feel for you. You came here to seek advice (it is the advice forum after all) on how to deal with your parents and your decision. It really must be awful for you to be living in that situation. I know you presented options in your OP (go anyway, got back to BYU-I, move out), but don't let people here make that decision for you - you would be better off letting your parents make it (but I'm not suggesting you do that, either). No one on this forum can recieve any inspiration or revelation for you.

Each person blazes his or her own trail in life, and in your case you appear to be blazing yours based on a sincere belief in doing what you think is right. That is commendable and far above and beyond what most people your age are doing.

We can take the option of going and look at it from other perspectives. What if you go anyway and absolutely hate it? Not all missionaries come back saying it was the best two years of their lives - you might be surprised how many there are actually. Or, you may go and love it. Truth is, there is no way to know unless you go, but going isn't necessarily the best option. Follow your heart - do what you think is right and what you think you are supposed to do. You are not the first guy to be in this position nor will you be the last.

Almost all (there are creeps out there) young men and women come to a point where they have to assert themselves to their parents that their own lives are their own. I have kids (a 19 year old son, in fact, who is going on a mission), and I know from the other side of the issue that's hard for parents. They raised you your whole life expecting you'd go on a mission and this news is hard for them. You may as well have told them you're gay or you 're leaving the Church altogether. I don't know where you are in order (youngest, oldest, middle), but it's hard for young adults at that point in their lives also, although sometimes easier if an older sibling has already done it (easier for parents, too). In the wild momma birds push the grown young from the nest and momma bears viciously chases off their grown cubs. Humans generally do it differently, it's getting to be your time. This has to be your decision.

[Praetorian_Brow]

Your skills that you have developed may languish for awhile, but they will still be there when you get back. I would hazard a guess that you feel more comfortable around computers than people, which can be a handicap when dealing with family, friends or the business life.

I did not serve a mission, but I was in the army and inactive when it was all the rage to go and when I reactivated myself, I was sarcastic with those who pushed me to go on a mission because I thought it was a ridiculous idea, considering I have a rather interesting take on the culture and my testimony was shaky. That being said I have been told by others I would have made a good missionary.

On a certain level, when I do go to church, I resent how everyone can't stop talking about their mission and the awkward pause when I say I didn't go on one. Or, some woman thinks I am not ideal, because I am not her fantasy Mormon man. Nothing like sitting every Sunday, feeling shunned in some way because I don't share my military stories as everyone breathlessly advertises their coming of age ritual.

In some ways, I regret that missed chance, because I have seen what the Mormon manhood ritual does for those kids that are unsure of themselves as they leave the nest. Their self confidence is night and day. The stories I have heard about missionaries, is in stark contrast to the fantasy that is foisted as they are kids with issues going into a stressful environment who bring their own baggage. It seems to me, a lot go because they are expected to, a lot go because it would be shameful not to, a lot go unworthy, a lot break the mission rules, but in the end they come back with a self confidence and self assurance that they didn't possess before they went.

Your revelation may not apply as of yet and going on a mission would be one of the hardest things you have done, if not the hardest, but think about the next 60 plus years of your life knowing that you had a chance to help yourself and others, but you didn't take it.