Backroads Posted October 7, 2013 Report Share Posted October 7, 2013 Two young persons, both college students. Wife inexperienced with money and household work. Husband married her on the rebound, in love with love itself. Wife runs up $15,000 in credit card debt. Husband takes up three jobs to pay for this. Husband also does housework and wants his alone time. Wife feels completely emotionally abandoned, Husband is angry at Wife. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted October 7, 2013 Report Share Posted October 7, 2013 1. Wife should lose the credit card and get a job. 2. Husband and wife should be coached by someone (parents, bishop, quorum president) on how to function as a married couple. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 7, 2013 Report Share Posted October 7, 2013 Sounds like someone I know 20 years ago. I wish they'd have done what Vort suggested back then. Instead they are now still in a lot of debt, she has no respect for him, and he's been beaten down by her over the years. It's sad. He loves her though and has fought through an unhappy marriage for their kids. In a word, they should fix it now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 7, 2013 Report Share Posted October 7, 2013 Oh, and no kids until they do fix it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Backroads Posted October 7, 2013 Author Report Share Posted October 7, 2013 From what I understand, the credit cards are no longer in existence in this mortal world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted October 7, 2013 Report Share Posted October 7, 2013 Eowyn beat me to it. For the love of pete, try to be grown ups first before having a kid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 7, 2013 Report Share Posted October 7, 2013 Eowyn beat me to it. For the love of pete, try to be grown ups first before having a kid.And try growing up first before contemplating divorce. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sadsister Posted October 7, 2013 Report Share Posted October 7, 2013 I would also suggest reading "The Five Love Languages." This is an awesome book that helps one understand how others see love. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwintonCounseling Posted November 22, 2013 Share Posted November 22, 2013 · Hidden Hidden Everyone wants to live happily ever after, and the good news is there are ways to achieve that, but it's going to take some effort. Check out this article for some tips on strengthening a marriage:How to strengthen your marriage Link to comment
person122 Posted November 22, 2013 Report Share Posted November 22, 2013 Two young persons, both college students. Wife inexperienced with money and household work. Husband married her on the rebound, in love with love itself. Wife runs up $15,000 in credit card debt. Husband takes up three jobs to pay for this. Husband also does housework and wants his alone time. Wife feels completely emotionally abandoned, Husband is angry at Wife.How long have they been married? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Backroads Posted November 22, 2013 Author Report Share Posted November 22, 2013 How long have they been married?2 yeaers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quin Posted November 23, 2013 Report Share Posted November 23, 2013 I'd want to know the rest of the picture. As in...I know literally hundreds of college students who put 20k on cards every year. And pay them off every year. It's a question of covering for bad timing/gaps in financial aid. Most of the time, these are "kids" graduating with 800 perfect credit scores... Because they have 4-8 years of assuming debt and paying it off. I know scores and scores of college students who put a big move, first & last, and up to their entire first year's tuition on credit cards. Easily totalling 25k or more. They pay it off slowly over the course of their time in school. I know far too many (1 is too many, I know dozens) whose ultra-crappy "student medical insurance" didn't cover their medical needs ... And are 10s of thousands in debt from emergency surgery. And then they lose their financial aid (because of having to drop classes). I know hundreds who go to the ER ONCE and have to put 10k on their credit cards (average ER visit wi X-rays and labs round here is 10k). Those are just the student related ones off the top of my head. Meanwhile there are dozens of other REALLY JUSTIFIABLE reasons why someone can have to smack down 5 figures on a credit card. Either a hole in one, or a series of events. So I'd want to know what the money was spent on.... Before passing ANY kind of judgement. ...Dot dot dot...And what's with MR. And working 3 jobs AND being a student?There's no way he's doing 120 hours a week minimum, PLUS commuting, PLUS school. Even on 3 hours of sleep a night. So 1) these are part time jobs, or at least some kind of combo ... Which is doable even as a single student, much less a married student. I've done that. Wih kids. MOST students do that. They cobble together hours from several sources for income and their CV. It's pretty normal. 2) How is his income affecting his financial aid? (My ex won a $500 scholarship that put him over the limit. We had to GIVE BACK 30k in grants, GRANTS! DARN IT! over that measly $500. I could have killed him. I literally had to walk away for a week to calm down. Oh. That 30k had to go on our credit cards, by the by.____________Ahem. I put the bias on the opposite foot for both of these on purpose. Because the bias could be legitimate EITHER way. She could be completely justified in her spending. She could be a frivolous idiot. He could be pulling the martyr card, for doing very normal things, or even making things worseHe could be superman digging them out of a hole. I don't know which these 2 are. So I cannot even begin to say what could be done to better their situation, much less what should be. But I am curious as to the rest of the story. Q Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Backroads Posted November 23, 2013 Author Report Share Posted November 23, 2013 Sadly, the story has ended. They have filed for divorce. Apparently the wife was physically abusive. There was one full-time job plus two part-time jobs. The credit card debt was spent on... junk. Clothes, candy, frivilous items. Not your usual student-necessary debt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quin Posted November 23, 2013 Report Share Posted November 23, 2013 Drats. I'm a hopeless romantic. I was hoping that she paid for his first quarter at JohnsHopkins & the move there ...While he was working his tail off to further their family's goals...And there's just the (usual) disconnect between what sounds bad and what is when people are tired and broke. Q Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Backroads Posted November 23, 2013 Author Report Share Posted November 23, 2013 I'm also a hopeless romantic and I liked this girl, too. But also keep in mind I knew the guy since he was born. Perhaps my view is skewed, but it's one of those loyalty things. I do regret him bouncing into this relationship after his old girlfriend dumped him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Threadkiller Posted November 24, 2013 Report Share Posted November 24, 2013 (edited) And try growing up first before contemplating divorce.I might also add: try growing up first before contemplating marriage! One of the things that bothers me in the LDS church is the push to get married!Hard News Cafe » Blog Archive » Rush to early marriage feeds Utah’s higher-than-average divorce rate I hope that link isn't an anti site! Edited November 24, 2013 by Threadkiller Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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