Passing on. . .

[Guest]

Something I've thought about now and then for awhile is the idea of how we and others react to passing on. It's always sad when someone dies. Even if we know we'll see them again, we mourn. It's usually scary for the one dying. Sometimes tragic, if it seems to be before one's time.

Do you think it was the same when we came here? Surely we had friendships and bonds with other spirits. Was it painful to leave and be left? Was it scary to pass into an unknown world that we knew would be lone and dreary (after all, passing into heaven sounds much nicer, and we still fear that). Or was all of that overshadowed by the joy of opportunity and growth?

I usually don't like fringe-y kinds of topics like this, so mark your calendars.

[Misshalfway]

Well, if it was anything like the death we experience here, I'd imagine the emotions would vary. When my grandmother learned she would most likely die within the week, she told the family to get her Taco Bell no matter what her Dr. said. :) She wasn't afraid or sad or anything like that. She was rather happy to get on with it.

When I think about being in the pre earth life, I imagine being jealous that my older brother got to go first. I'm pretty sure he butted in line.

[Latter Days Guy]

Personally I'm not really afraid of dying, the whole death thing doesn't worry me. What really gets me is the though of not being with my kids/family and being there for them when I'm gone. The thought of not being with my kids is a very upsetting feeling and just thinking about it makes me well up inside

[Quin]

Thank you for giving me something to think about that I never have, before! .

It's a really cool thing to ponder.

[Sharky]

Recently my mother passed. She had spent many years tolerating dialysis & finally heart disease was being to take it's toll & causing the dialysis to be less effective.

She decided enough was enough & elected to decline further dialysis, to return home on hospice, & die with her family around her.

She was there at home for 8 days before passing. Eight days that we shared laughter & memories & yes tears.

She was very much at peace with her decision & looked forward to being greeted on the other side by her parents, siblings, my oldest brother, & a grandchild.

Those final days were days of joy & celebration. A celebratory tone encompassed the funeral as well.

Yes for a time we will be separated, though we will be reunited.

Yes, we mourn the loss .... She mourned the loss of her ability to walk, the loss of being able to reside at home ...

[Zeitgeist]

With one exception, all the deaths among my relatives and friends have been very sudden. My stepfather was perfectly fine one day but rose to his feet and started to say, "I have a headache." He died between the syllables "head" and "ache." (For the final 10 years of his life, his entire diet had consisted of fried chicken, Coke, and ice cream. They didn't even bother with an autopsy.)

The exception was a very close friend of mine who died at age 42 of an incurable disease that slowly overtook him. His mom flew out toward the end. At the hospital, she invited all his friends and family to help decide whether or not it was time to let him go. The doctor explained that "death comes as a friend to many people," which gave us the courage to pull the plug. Well, under state law here you can't actually pull the plug on life support. You must dial it way down instead. My friend was gone in 10 minutes. I went home and slept, and when I woke up I found myself seeing everything in black and white. All the color had drained out of my world. I wandered around the neighborhood and felt real anger at children playing. How could anyone play at a time like this? But my grief slowly disappeared, my anger dissolved, I began seeing colors again, and I am comforted now with the memories of my friend's many acts of kindness to me.

Reminds me of the atheist's funeral ("all dressed up and no place to go"). But I think we all do have a place to go.

[john doe]

Get used to it. Very few people get off this rock alive.

[classylady]

Something I've thought about now and then for awhile is the idea of how we and others react to passing on. It's always sad when someone dies. Even if we know we'll see them again, we mourn. It's usually scary for the one dying. Sometimes tragic, if it seems to be before one's time.

Do you think it was the same when we came here? Surely we had friendships and bonds with other spirits. Was it painful to leave and be left? Was it scary to pass into an unknown world that we knew would be lone and dreary (after all, passing into heaven sounds much nicer, and we still fear that). Or was all of that overshadowed by the joy of opportunity and growth?

I usually don't like fringe-y kinds of topics like this, so mark your calendars.

My feelings on this, is that we were all in Heavenly Father's presence, and we knew the plan. We knew we needed a body to progress. I feel that we probably were excited to be getting a body and perhaps even naively thought that we would be able to pass any trial given us. I don't know if we fully understood what it would be like to have a veil that blocked our memories of the Preexistence and of living with our Father. We may have been sad to leave our loved ones behind. But, at that time in our "lives" we knew it would only be a short time before we would be together again. Perhaps, and this I don't know for sure, but the passing of time to us may have been different. Leaving our Heavenly Father and others behind for 80 years, (or however long we live) may have seemed like a blink of an eye.

Here on earth, we live in faith. We don't have memories of our lives before this earth. We mourn and grieve those who have passed on. We don't see them after they are gone. Whereas, in the preexistence we may have been able to get a glimpse of our ancestors and the earthly life. We may have met some of our ancestors (grandparents, etc.) as they have come back home to Father. We may have been given instruction before coming down to earth on how to deal with our family and made promises about our Gospel service.

With all that knowledge that we had in the preexistence, I don't feel we would have felt that same level of grief that we experience here in this life when someone passes on.

[Traveler]

The view from here we call death - but the view from "there" would more properly be call birth.

The Traveler

[Bini]

What an interesting thing to think about.

My only thoughts are that we were probably less frightened of coming to earth to gain bodies, because we had the Lord standing there beside us, talking us through his plan. Now that we are here in mortality, and the veil has dropped over us, we continue with his plan but on faith. For those of us that journey a bit of a rockier road to salvation, it is indeed very frightening at times, when you cannot see the Lord and must rely on Him with belief.

[drham3rd]

I think I share Bini's feelings! I would think that the knowledge we had as spirits was more preparatory than what we experience in this mortal life. I have never been able to "prepare" for someone's passing! Grief overtakes me every time!

[Seminarysnoozer]

Something I've thought about now and then for awhile is the idea of how we and others react to passing on. It's always sad when someone dies. Even if we know we'll see them again, we mourn. It's usually scary for the one dying. Sometimes tragic, if it seems to be before one's time.

Do you think it was the same when we came here? Surely we had friendships and bonds with other spirits. Was it painful to leave and be left? Was it scary to pass into an unknown world that we knew would be lone and dreary (after all, passing into heaven sounds much nicer, and we still fear that). Or was all of that overshadowed by the joy of opportunity and growth?

I usually don't like fringe-y kinds of topics like this, so mark your calendars.

I think it probably was scary because we all knew that some wouldn't make it back to the same kinds of relationships. Like the fear one might have when they leave for a mission, there is mostly excitement mixed with a little fear of the unknown that comes with taking on something that hasn't been done before. I am sure the underlying feeling was mostly joy.

[Traveler]

Shakespeare:

Nothing is as good or as bad as it seems; only that thinking makes it so.

[mordorbund]

The plan of salvation model we usually draw on the board is really the "state machine" of salvation (the plan as described in the scriptures is more principle-based). Birth and death are but two transitions in this model. And just as the transition of birth has already been compared to the transition of death as a way to speculate on premortal emotions, I suppose we can use this life's transitions as analogies as we'll.

When you left on a mission, what did you feel? What about your loved ones? How did you feel when you friends left on their missions?

When you left for college, what did you feel? What about your loved ones? How did you feel when your friends left for college?

What about when you moved away? And the next time you moved away? And when you moved again? How did your loved ones feel? How do you feel as your friends move away?

Finally, what do you feel when a loved one passes? How do you think that loved one felt (my experience is that the closer you we're to the passing itself the less speculation is needed to answer)?

My own answers tend to be as repetitive as the questions themselves with only a difference of degree.

[Misshalfway]

I think I share Bini's feelings! I would think that the knowledge we had as spirits was more preparatory than what we experience in this mortal life. I have never been able to "prepare" for someone's passing! Grief overtakes me every time!

But do you think you'd feel the same about your own death?