Outrage Over Post-Baby Selfie

[Bini]

Here's the story. There's a small poll posted as well. I voted: "I'm neutral - it shouldn't matter what other women do." Some women are able to bounce back into their pre-baby body and some women aren't. That's just life. What do you think? Especially those of you that have gone through pregnancy, birthing, and adjusting to post-partum life in general.

[Guest]

And here the theory prevails... Women are VICIOUS to each other.

One can't just be happy about somebody else's successes. Obviously, this athlete has a completely different lifestyle and the challenges of pregnancy is different for her. She is used to the athletic lifestyle and having that interrupted by pregnancy can be daunting as she wades through uncharted territory. To be able to bounce back from it with her athletic self intact is a big accomplishment that she thought is worth sharing so she can get some hurraahs and high-fives... but no... women has to bring her down and make her pay for everybody else's lack of self-confidence.

It's time for women to stop being crabs climbing out of the barrel and support each other's successes.

I'm with Mama Norway all the way!

[talisyn]

I appreciate that she's proud of her body, and I really like that she didn't do this: Hot Mom Defends Herself Against Facebook Haters

But I think she should have worn more clothes

[Wingnut]

I'm skeptical of the photo. It doesn't look photoshopped (it's too low-quality). What it looks like to me is that she took a photo long before she was ever pregnant, and saved it until now.

Some women do snap back quickly after pregnancy. There's a woman in my ward who just had her third baby (her first two were twins). She was still wearing pencil skirts to church at 24 weeks gestation. She was at church a few days ago, having missed only two weeks. What was she wearing? A pencil skirt. But while she's lost most of the water weight, girth, and hormonal fat, she still has loose skin on her belly (I could tell it was squished around).

I have a hard time believing that anyone, regardless of genetics, can look like this four days after delivery, unless the baby was born at 26 weeks. Skin just doesn't regain its elasticity that quickly.

But then I look at the rest of her Instagram feed and find this photo, captioned "8 days to go." Instagram And looking at comments and captions on other photos, the baby was only 5 lbs and change. So I suppose it's possible.

In any case, it doesn't seem like she had any sort of vicious intent. She's probably just ignorant of the effect it could have on others. Or she's aware of it, but still proud of her body, and that's fine.

[Guest]

I'm skeptical of the photo. It doesn't look photoshopped (it's too low-quality). What it looks like to me is that she took a photo long before she was ever pregnant, and saved it until now.

Some women do snap back quickly after pregnancy. There's a woman in my ward who just had her third baby (her first two were twins). She was still wearing pencil skirts to church at 24 weeks gestation. She was at church a few days ago, having missed only two weeks. What was she wearing? A pencil skirt. But while she's lost most of the water weight, girth, and hormonal fat, she still has loose skin on her belly (I could tell it was squished around).

I have a hard time believing that anyone, regardless of genetics, can look like this four days after delivery, unless the baby was born at 26 weeks. Skin just doesn't regain its elasticity that quickly.

But then I look at the rest of her Instagram feed and find this photo, captioned "8 days to go." Instagram And looking at comments and captions on other photos, the baby was only 5 lbs and change. So I suppose it's possible.

In any case, it doesn't seem like she had any sort of vicious intent. She's probably just ignorant of the effect it could have on others. Or she's aware of it, but still proud of her body, and that's fine.

This is actually not too rare in Filipinos and athletes.

Filipinos because the normal fare in the average Filipino household is fish (essential fatty acids for skin repair) and mangoes and greens (silica) so skin elasticity is easier to maintain. In addition, their diminutive size (a 7 pound Filipino baby is huge, 5-6 lbs is average) makes under 20lb pregnancy weight gain the norm. My dad used to joke about pregnant Filipino women carrying their basket on their heads selling their wares, stopping by the side of the road to deliver the baby, wrap the baby in banana leaves and put him in the basket and she continues to sell her wares. It is slowly changing now though because of the popularity of fast food and the increasing size of the middle class from Offshore Workers and foreign Call Centers that buy processed foods.

Athletes tend to have very low body fat percentage which makes skin more elastic. They also tend to maintain low weight gain during pregnancy because they are more nutrition conscious. I don't really have data to back this up. This is just from observation.

But yes, to be able to get the pre-pregnancy body back in under a week is quite an accomplishment even for Filipinos and athletes.

Edited December 4, 2013 by anatess

[Quin]

I have a few friends who snap back that quickly.

I have MORE friends who c-sect & abdomonoplasty in the same go (usually with their last kid).

It's a fairly easy thing to have the OB & plastic surgeon in the same theatre.

I think its hard for people who are genetically lucky (skin tone, no ab-rectis split, no toxemia, etc.) to comprehend that those that aren't ... Actually DO work as hard (or even harder) than they do, themselves. There seems to be an "If i can do it, anyone can!" attitude amongst a lot of people. Which is actually more indicative of low self esteem, than a viable working model.

I was lucky with my first pregnancy (in this sense at least, as I was a full term miscarriage) in that my body snapped back almost immediately. My second pregnancy was rough from day 1 (but successful in that I got my kiddo out of it!), and it took YEARS for my body to recover from it. I worked harder with my second pregnancy, but had a better body with my first. I sometimes wonder, if I got pregnant again, what would happen? Anyhow... I was in military-land (instead of parenting land) so I missed the "battle". Which Im grateful, for. I've gotten my comeuppance in so many other ways, that I love it when I get to skip any pride = falls.

Anyhow... It's something one sees a lot of in parenting-land. Especially amongst moms of singletons, that usually come from small families, themselves. The idea that instead of being lucky with XYZ (like having a naturally good sleeper, or no colic, or whatever), it's due to this thing that *I* did, that clearly *YOU* do not. Second or third kids usually destroy that sense of success over gratitude. But not always.

There's a parenting forum Im on, that about once a year someone comes on posing the q of WHY don't other moms WANT svelte gorgeous bodies???

Um.

Most do.

Most CAN'T however, due to a lot of factors which clearly don't apply in your life.

Not because its easy and they're all just lazy slobs.

Again, it's that weird combo of ego+low self esteem.

Honey. If it were easy, everyone would have it.

And yes. Simply working hard counts as easy.

Just because its easy for you, doesn't mean it's easy for everyone.

Q

[Guest]

Right, Quin! So for this woman with the svelte (love that word!) body 4 days after pregnancy, I applaud her for having been able to accomplish this difficult feat. Because, we all know... it's not easy.

It's like climbing Mount Everest, getting to the top, then you can't share the picture on the internet because people would feel like they're lazy slobs who can't climb mountains. The guy on top of the mountain surely don't expect you to get off your lazy bumm and be up there with him.

[Bini]

Wingnut, you make good points and there are others that are sceptic about the seemingly firmness of her post-baby belly. I think there's a fair amount of us (generally speaking) that acknowledge that some women are able to bounce back and some women aren't, but even when you do bounce back, the odds are you'll have some stretched or loose skin. I gained a lot of weight during pregnancy, I lost everything in about a month - I'd say three weeks if I were going to attempt being accurate. But I had awful stretchmarks (still do, it doesn't help that I have dark skin that tends to show scarring more than fair skin) and it certainly isn't nearly as firm as this woman's tummy is. There was a part of me that looked at that picture and thought, "Gees, rub it in why don't you!", hehe but there's a point where you just got to keep things in check. Fortunately, I have a wonderful husband that is always showing and telling me how beautiful I am to him, and that helps when I find myself starting to compare to others.

A bit of a branch off. I was linked to some articles about how the public was outraged over Kate Middleton's post-baby body. I thought she looked great, in fact, her post-baby bump is still there and yet there were those that thought she was flaunting herself because overall she appeared too slim for just having a baby. I guess I'm left wondering where the line is drawn?

[Bini]

Quin, funny you mention the OB and cosmetic surgery. I do have a friend that had a tummy tuck after her caesarean. She is an older woman now, in her mid-fifties, but it shows you that these things were done long ago..

[Wingnut]

Right, Quin! So for this woman with the svelte (love that word!) body 4 days after pregnancy, I applaud her for having been able to accomplish this difficult feat. Because, we all know... it's not easy.

It's like climbing Mount Everest, getting to the top, then you can't share the picture on the internet because people would feel like they're lazy slobs who can't climb mountains. The guy on top of the mountain surely don't expect you to get off your lazy bumm and be up there with him.

I disagree. If this is truly what this woman looks like four days after having the baby, she didn't accomplish anything. That's genes, pure and simple.

A bit of a branch off. I was linked to some articles about how the public was outraged over Kate Middleton's post-baby body. I thought she looked great, in fact, her post-baby bump is still there and yet there were those that thought she was flaunting herself because overall she appeared too slim for just having a baby. I guess I'm left wondering where the line is drawn?

I don't understand what's to be outraged about with The Duchess.

[Guest]

I disagree. If this is truly what this woman looks like four days after having the baby, she didn't accomplish anything. That's genes, pure and simple.

Genetics alone won't get you that tummy back. You have to work hard for it with the proper diet and exercise.

[Guest]

A bit of a branch off. I was linked to some articles about how the public was outraged over Kate Middleton's post-baby body. I thought she looked great, in fact, her post-baby bump is still there and yet there were those that thought she was flaunting herself because overall she appeared too slim for just having a baby. I guess I'm left wondering where the line is drawn?

Hmm... the articles I read... okay, they're from the check-out counter... gave me the impression that the public was outraged because she wore that blue dress that showed off her post-baby bump. They expected her to wear something more flattering to her post-pregnancy figure.

[Bini]

Hmm... the articles I read... okay, they're from the check-out counter... gave me the impression that the public was outraged because she wore that blue dress that showed off her post-baby bump. They expected her to wear something more flattering to her post-pregnancy figure.

I think it was more of her 'overall package' of just looking fantastic - hair - clothes - and body. WAH, though. I agree that women have a hard time being happy for other women.

[Wingnut]

Do people not understand that Kate has a team of people that make her look as flawless as she does every day? I'm sure she's a natural beauty, but she doesn't wake up looking the way we see her.

[Quin]

Not to mention the poor thing was so sick during her pregnancy that she was hospitalized.

1st the press eats her alive for being sick her entire pregnancy.

2nd the press eats her alive for being slim after being sick her whole pregnancy.

While severe "morning" sickness affects only a tiny portion portion of the population (it used to be universally lethal, and still kills), at the VERY least... One hopes that some benefit could be gained out of 9 months of uncontrollable vomiting, broken ribs, and terror of miscarrying. Not even all of them GET that... As severe emesis can trigger severe weight gain. That's just adding insult to injury.

[Quin]

Do people not understand that Kate has a team of people that make her look as flawless as she does every day? I'm sure she's a natural beauty, but she doesn't wake up looking the way we see her.

I lived in a house with 4 stereotypical/flaming gay men at one point.

I NEVER looked better in my whole life.

Before being allowed to leave the house each day I had my hair done, makeup applied, and wardrobe chosen... As apparently Im utterly hopeless.

Sometimes I risked their wrath to sneak out in sweats, but always made the point of turning the hose on myself before coming in.

"OH, I was just going for a run. I'm all sweaty. Let me shower."

I fooled no one.

Q

[Leah]

Genetics alone won't get you that tummy back. You have to work hard for it with the proper diet and exercise.

Just because that is your personal experience or opinion, doesn't make it fact. There are several of us here, I am sure, who have personal experience of just the opposite, myself included. Whether you believe it or not, there are those who have the good fortune to get their figure back without any dieting or exercise involved. My mother experienced it five times, I experienced it, other friends and relatives....I even knew a couple who ended up smaller after childbirth.

So...yes, it does happen.

[Guest]

Just because that is your personal experience or opinion, doesn't make it fact. There are several of us here, I am sure, who have personal experience of just the opposite, myself included. Whether you believe it or not, there are those who have the good fortune to get their figure back without any dieting or exercise involved. My mother experienced it five times, I experienced it, other friends and relatives....I even knew a couple who ended up smaller after childbirth.

So...yes, it does happen.

There is genetically toothpick and there is that Norwegian girl's athletic body. I was talking about that Norwegian girl's body, not yours or your mother's.

[Guest]

Not to mention the poor thing was so sick during her pregnancy that she was hospitalized.

1st the press eats her alive for being sick her entire pregnancy.

2nd the press eats her alive for being slim after being sick her whole pregnancy.

While severe "morning" sickness affects only a tiny portion portion of the population (it used to be universally lethal, and still kills), at the VERY least... One hopes that some benefit could be gained out of 9 months of uncontrollable vomiting, broken ribs, and terror of miscarrying. Not even all of them GET that... As severe emesis can trigger severe weight gain. That's just adding insult to injury.

I'm thinking about it and I think I would like to have the press eat me alive for the price of being a Princess. Unfortunately, my husband has no royal blood. :)

[Bini]

I'm thinking about it and I think I would like to have the press eat me alive for the price of being a Princess. Unfortunately, my husband has no royal blood. :)

Neither does mine. Boo hiss!

Seriously though, it's hard to imagine that living a life of luxury would be burdening, because all you see on the surface is the wine and dine. But I have to remind myself that living a high profile life comes with a big price to pay - little to no privacy - constant scrutiny from the world - the pressure of meeting all those extraordinary and unrealistic expectations of the world. In the end, no thanks.

[Backroads]

I think it's a silly thing to get worked up over. We celebrate photos of women losing weight or whatever, but we can't handle this.

[Suzie]

I don't understand what is the big deal about the picture. She was probably happy that her body was looking so amazing after giving birth and yes she was probably showing off a little and to be honest I do not see anything wrong with that.

Also, this lady isn't just "slim", she is an athlete and you can see by her pictures that even when she was pregnant she looked amazingly fit so I have no doubt that the picture was taken after she gave birth.

If you happen to be just slim/thin but not athletic the skin will stretch no matter what but if a person eats right, exercises, etc then it won't. Sure, genes are involved but I am confident that there is a lot of determination and hard work involved.

[pam]

It's nothing but jealousy that have some women so outraged over this.

[Guest]

I'm a chubby white girl and I'm jealous. My genes suck, and even when I was eating meticulously and my exercise routine was regular and vigorous, I couldn't get below a size 12 pant. I was nice and toned and got compliments (mostly because I had changed so much I think, not because I had an extraordinary physique), but past a certain point, I got stuck. Then I got stressed out and busy and fell off the wagon.

But I'm jealous. Not outraged. And props to her for putting the work in and having better will power than I do.

[pam]

I'm a chubby white girl and I'm jealous. My genes suck, and even when I was eating meticulously and my exercise routine was regular and vigorous, I couldn't get below a size 12 pant. I was nice and toned and got compliments (mostly because I had changed so much I think, not because I had an extraordinary physique), but past a certain point, I got stuck. Then I got stressed out and busy and fell off the wagon.

But I'm jealous. Not outraged. And props to her for putting the work in and having better will power than I do.

I have met you in person and chubby is not what I would have ever called you. You looked perfectly fine to me.