Recommended Posts

Posted

Welcome to the fun * world of horrible roommates! If you think she might get violent, tell the people in charge of housing and get a new roommate. If she actually does get violent, feel free to call the cops. For any other horrible behavior, feel free to absolve yourself of caring what she thinks about you.

* You will probably look back on the experience fondly, in maybe about ten years.

Posted

How did you to become roommates?

If you're in a dorm situation, you can ask the RA's for roommate change (I've done that).

If she's sub-leasing from you, kick her out. If you're sub-leasing from her, find someone to take over you lease and get out. (I've also done this).

If you co-leasing (ie, signed a lease together) things are more complicated. You could wait until the lease is over and then leave, or have someone take over your half of the lease (I've also done this).

Those are options for getting out. In the meantime you need to protect yourself/stuff physically and emotionally. Frankly, being roommates is a business arrangement-- she is not your BFF. As long as you are not violating the lease agreement, she is NOT entitled to tell you how to run your life , or that you have to care what she thinks. If she gets into your stuff, get locks. She badmouths you, don't listen. You do NOT need to hang out with her, have her approval, or even talk to her.

If she becomes threatening to you or your property, then that IS a lease violation, and you are perfectly within your rights to call the cops. (And you SHOULD call the cops if she's going to hurt you).

Posted

Seeing how you pay rent, too, you have the right to feel safe in your own space. I think she needs to be reported (RA, parents, cops, whoever) not just 'given to someone else to deal with'. It sounds like she may have mental issues and needs treatment/meds as this is not normal behavior. Good luck - hope you find some resolution soon!

Posted
She's almost kicked me, threatened to throw my purse out the window, and constantly talks about how I'm a terrible person. I do not think I'll think back to these years too fondly.
Threats of violence mean you should notify people. You do not need to put up with such things. There are laws to protect you - but only if you go about availing yourself of them. You say roommate - is this a college dorm situation? Private housing? If you feel comfortable sharing additional details, folks on this board can probably direct you to the correct place.
Posted
It's a co-lease situation. I am currently staying elsewhere. She contacted me several times in the past week saying She wanted to talk. Going with my RS president to "talk". I hate to bring others into this mess, but I REALLY don't want to go alone.

I think taking your RS Pres with you is smart. Any other impartial 3rd party would work. Remember to pray before the meeting.

I wish you all the best.

Posted
It's a co-lease situation. I am currently staying elsewhere. She contacted me several times in the past week saying She wanted to talk. Going with my RS president to "talk". I hate to bring others into this mess, but I REALLY don't want to go alone.

You are wise to take the RS pres-- a third party mediator will be a good thing. As others said, be sure to pray and stand up for yourself.

Posted (edited)
Chalk it up to a lesson learned and move on.

A re-emphasized lesson. People are never who they seem.

Also, if you trust someone, you are just setting yourself up to be hurt.

Edited by quietmouse
Posted
A re-emphasized lesson. People are never who they seem.

Also, if you trust someone, you are just setting yourself up to be hurt.

Don't let this experience make you cynical.

There are people who can be trusted. There are people who are exactly who you see them to be. Just be aware from now on.

Posted

I think it's finally almost over. I had to borrow over twice my share of the rent after she refused to pay her part (it would have been even more had I not paid my share already), and I terminated the lease, but I think I'm finally safe. I hope. Knock on wood.

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.