a-train Posted May 31, 2007 Report Share Posted May 31, 2007 You Know You Are NOT From Utah If...You did early morning seminary like a REAL Mormon, not this during-the-school-day sissy stuff.You've seen black people.'Oh My Heck' hurts your ears.Your neighbors think the missionaries that came over for dinner were Jehovah's Witnesses.Jell-O is gross.You can navigate without benefit of a mountain for reference.You leave the county to go to Church on Sunday.A person in your ward who met a General Authority is considered amazing.The Y is just short for YMCA.Napoleon Dynamite is the only 'Mormon movie' you've seen.Your ward rented a bus for a youth temple trip.On your mission people said things like: 'Not from Utah or Idaho? I think that's the first missionary we've ever had from somewhere other than there..'You can't walk, but have to drive to do your home/visiting teaching.Your local video rental has never heard of Johnny Lingo.You like the taste of beer and drink O'Douls.You don't own any snow skis, boards, or equipment, nor do you have a ski rack on your vehicle.On a trip to Utah you assumed everyone you talked to was Mormon.You don't know who the Osmonds are, or you you've heard of them but don't know what they look like.There are no paintings of Joseph Smith available at your local mall.When you see a Mormon bumper sticker you honk and wave.One that definitely happened to me and is my personal favorite: You were asked by your bishop to run to the liquor store next to the Ward Building to buy bread for sacrament because the Teacher who was to bring it didn't come through.-a-train Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr T Posted May 31, 2007 Report Share Posted May 31, 2007 Ha. Those are great a-train. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StrawberryFields Posted May 31, 2007 Report Share Posted May 31, 2007 Where on earth did you get those? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mamacat Posted May 31, 2007 Report Share Posted May 31, 2007 haha funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prisonchaplain Posted May 31, 2007 Report Share Posted May 31, 2007 I think most of this would work for evangelicals and protestants if we just changed "UTAH" to "BIBLE-BELT." Western Washington State was once referred to as the "Anti-Bible Belt," by the chairman of the Republican party here. So, I guess I feel you. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a-train Posted May 31, 2007 Author Report Share Posted May 31, 2007 Where on earth did you get those? I just made it up based on personal experience. Feel free to add away yall.-a-train Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr T Posted May 31, 2007 Report Share Posted May 31, 2007 Again, good stuff a-train :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vanilla Posted May 31, 2007 Report Share Posted May 31, 2007 These are great a-train! :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mamacat Posted May 31, 2007 Report Share Posted May 31, 2007 what's johnny lingo? (i like O'Doul's :) ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrimsonKairos Posted May 31, 2007 Report Share Posted May 31, 2007 Here are a few of my own additions...(I lived in Provo for a year and Cedar City for a year so...these are culled from personal experience). You know you aren't from Utah if: You've never heard of Michael McLean. If you have, you don't know the words to any of his songs. You see as many churches during a four hour drive as someone sees during a four minute drive in Utah. The girls in your ward don't have dyed hair and orange skin from faking'n'baking. The girls in your ward don't wear mini-skirts to church. There isn't a special musical number during every sacrament meeting, every week. Testimony meetings don't revolve around how great roommates/family members are. You can drink Coke in front of another member and they don't try to hide a look of disbelief. A dare doesn't involve getting a rub-on-tattoo. You have no idea what "Motab" is. (hint: Mormon Tabernacle Choir) You signal before you change lanes, and you don't cut people off in traffic. You also go close to the speed-limit. Your toddler doesn't come to church with a miniature missionary tag clipped to his/her Sunday shirt. No girls in your ward have been on missions. If you have served a mission, you don't refer to it as "the mish." Your friend's dad isn't a GA. You haven't marched through town in a pioneer re-enactment. You didn't see "Legacy" or "The Testaments" until they came out on DVD, and had never heard of them before they did. You didn't go inactive for a period after your mission. You haven't kissed half the members of the opposite sex in your singles' ward. You don't use a PDA during Church. Your ward roster doesn't have a picture of everyone next to their name. You've never heard of a "mix'n'mingle." You can count on one hand the number of potlucks your ward has had. You've never heard of "Jericho Road," "Inside Out," or "Hillary Weeks." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr T Posted May 31, 2007 Report Share Posted May 31, 2007 I lived there for a short time and those are still a different language to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Yediyd Posted June 1, 2007 Report Share Posted June 1, 2007 I lived there for a short time and those are still a different language to me. What a riot! you guys are great! I'm from New York...never been to Utah...and have been LDS for just under 3 years....most of those things you mentioned about Utah went right over my head....but I laughed anyway!!!!!!!!!!! THANKS!!!!!!!! I drink pepsie...is that bad? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted June 1, 2007 Report Share Posted June 1, 2007 Here are a few of my own additions...(I lived in Provo for a year and Cedar City for a year so...these are culled from personal experience). You know you aren't from Utah if:You've never heard of Michael McLean.If you have, you don't know the words to any of his songs.You see as many churches during a four hour drive as someone sees during a four minute drive in Utah.The girls in your ward don't have dyed hair and orange skin from faking'n'baking.The girls in your ward don't wear mini-skirts to church.There isn't a special musical number during every sacrament meeting, every week.Testimony meetings don't revolve around how great roommates/family members are.You can drink Coke in front of another member and they don't try to hide a look of disbelief.A dare doesn't involve getting a rub-on-tattoo.You have no idea what "Motab" is. (hint: Mormon Tabernacle Choir)You signal before you change lanes, and you don't cut people off in traffic.You also go close to the speed-limit.Your toddler doesn't come to church with a miniature missionary tag clipped to his/her Sunday shirt.No girls in your ward have been on missions.If you have served a mission, you don't refer to it as "the mish."Your friend's dad isn't a GA.You haven't marched through town in a pioneer re-enactment.You didn't see "Legacy" or "The Testaments" until they came out on DVD, and had never heard of them before they did.You didn't go inactive for a period after your mission.You haven't kissed half the members of the opposite sex in your singles' ward.You don't use a PDA during Church.Your ward roster doesn't have a picture of everyone next to their name.You've never heard of a "mix'n'mingle."You can count on one hand the number of potlucks your ward has had.You've never heard of "Jericho Road," "Inside Out," or "Hillary Weeks."Another would be. You know you are NOT from Utah if you actually pronounce MOUNTAIN with a "T" in it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a-train Posted June 1, 2007 Author Report Share Posted June 1, 2007 You don't know what a fark is. Root Beer is not available in gallon milk jugs in your area. A twenty-two is a beer not a gun. Your a Democrat. YOU don't even know who Johnny Lingo is. -a-train Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Yediyd Posted June 1, 2007 Report Share Posted June 1, 2007 You don't know what a fark is.Root Beer is not available in gallon milk jugs in your area.A twenty-two is a beer not a gun.Your a Democrat.YOU don't even know who Johnny Lingo is.-a-trainwhat IS a fark? rootbeer comes in a gallon jug? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted June 1, 2007 Report Share Posted June 1, 2007 <div class='quotemain'>You don't know what a fark is.Root Beer is not available in gallon milk jugs in your area.A twenty-two is a beer not a gun.Your a Democrat.YOU don't even know who Johnny Lingo is.-a-trainwhat IS a fark? rootbeer comes in a gallon jug? A fark is a fork and yes rootbeer comes in gallon jugs. One place to obtain is A&W. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a-train Posted June 1, 2007 Author Report Share Posted June 1, 2007 Older residents of American Fork, Utah say: 'American Fark.' A 'fark' is a fork. I don't remember the name of the pizza parlor, but I once ordered a pizza from a joint in Provo that was running a special: Order two large pizzas and get a free gallon of home-made rootbeer. The gallon was delivered in a standard white plastic gallon milk jug. -a-train Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Yediyd Posted June 1, 2007 Report Share Posted June 1, 2007 Older residents of American Fork, Utah say: 'American Fark.' A 'fark' is a fork.I don't remember the name of the pizza parlor, but I once ordered a pizza from a joint in Provo that was running a special: Order two large pizzas and get a free gallon of home-maid rootbeer. The gallon was delivered in a standard white plastic gallon milk jug.-a-trainthank you...I truly didn't know...this topic has been fun. I'm new LDS, from NY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr T Posted June 1, 2007 Report Share Posted June 1, 2007 That was another new thing for not Utah types. My favorite pizza of all time is from "The Pie" is SLC. They offered me rootbeer. I gladly accepted. It was warm so I asked for some ice. They looked at me with disdain and asked, "You're really going to ruin rootbeer by putting it in ice?" I said, "Yes." They shook their heads. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted June 1, 2007 Report Share Posted June 1, 2007 That was another new thing for not Utah types. My favorite pizza of all time is from "The Pie" is SLC. They offered me rootbeer. I gladly accepted. It was warm so I asked for some ice. They looked at me with disdain and asked, "You're really going to ruin rootbeer by putting it in ice?" I said, "Yes." They shook their heads.The Pie is an awesome place. Hey I would put ice in rootbeer if it were warm too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StrawberryFields Posted June 1, 2007 Report Share Posted June 1, 2007 The Pie...great place unless you work there. B) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mamacat Posted June 1, 2007 Report Share Posted June 1, 2007 we're going to visit Utah soon, and one thing i hope that they have is veggie restaurants. is it all hunters there? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr T Posted June 1, 2007 Report Share Posted June 1, 2007 Eat at The Pie! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrimsonKairos Posted June 1, 2007 Report Share Posted June 1, 2007 Dude, Provo never did me wrong with Pizza Pipeline and their cinna-stix. Dang, those suckers are good! B) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr T Posted June 1, 2007 Report Share Posted June 1, 2007 I'm ready to travel for some "Pie." I might have to stop talking about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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