Would you bring a visitor to church if you had reason to fear bad behavior?

[Backroads]

My aunt left the church in college and was severely anti for awhile (still harbors some disdain.) Next month, she is coming up to visit and is bringing her boyfriend.

Now, Aunt and Boyfriend are quite eclectic in their spiritual beliefs and embrace a lot of New Age stuff. I'm not complaining about that, to each his own and I find a lot of it kinda cool.

Boyfriend wants to experience a LDS church service ('cuz apparently they can't find any in their state.) So upon this visit, they will be attending church with my parents.

I've never met Boyfriend, but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt that he just wants to experience a bit of Mormonism all in good heart.

However, none of the family really trusts Aunt to be on her best behavior. Based on past experiences, we do not find it unreasonable to fear her making some wild and nasty outbursts.

Not really sure what I'm asking as I'm not even in the ward in question, but, well, what are your thoughts? Would you "prepare" the ward?

[Vort]

Nope. I'd bring them, present them as family, and let the chips fall where they may. You can always clean up any messes post-mortem, unless you think your aunt might target individuals.

[Guest]

The church is open to anyone. Anyone. Your aunt included.

But yeah, you might have to bear the embarassment for weeks to come if she does do something stupid. But, hey, she might not. And she might really enjoy it! You never know.

[Guest]

My crazy SIL lived with us for a few months and thus, went to church with us. Granted, she is LDS. She never said anything anti, per se, but she has her own "unique" way of seeing things.

I only ever said good about her to people in the ward. I didn't have to warn them that she was nuts. They figured it out on their own.

[Finrock]

Good Afternoon Backroads. I hope you are having a good day! :)

We had a recent convert who's sister also joined soon after she did. Well, not too long after the sister joined, she also became inactive. During missionary correlation meetings the new member (who is a ward missionary) would frequently speak about her sister and she would feel ashamed that her sister in no longer an active member and she would apologize for her inactivity as if her sister's inactivity reflected on her. Our Ward Mission Leader told her that what her sister does, doesn't reflect on her at all and that she should stop apologizing and feeling ashamed, as if she had let the Church down because her sister went inactive so soon.

Moral of the story? Much like what Vort stated, take your aunt to church and let her be who she is. It in noway reflects on you or anybody else. You do what you know is right and leave it at that.

-Finrock

Edited February 21, 2014 by Finrock
Spelling; Fixed: "...no longer a member..." TO "...no longer an ACTIVE member..."

[skippy740]

Sometimes its fun to watch the unprepared teacher try to scramble a way to bring the lesson back on track! My ward has a couple of people that are a little "off"... so we're kinda used to it by now. Maybe that's why I was called to be one of the EQ instructors... I can generally handle whatever's thrown out at me during a lesson. :)

[Bini]

My husband has a step-sister that has a bad mouth on her. She's just a lot rougher around the edges than most mainstream folks. There was a baby shower hosted awhile ago for someone in my family - relief society did it - and they put 110% into setup and just making the event beautiful. The mother to be was hesitant to invite the step-sister because of her awful language and pretty nasty talk in general. In the end, she wasn't invited for fear that the RS women would be put-off and leave a bad taste in everyone's mouth.

So, I think if it's a personal event, you have all the say in the world to omit certain people because it's YOUR DAY. Since the Church warmly welcomes everyone, no matter how rough a character they might be, no one has the right to turn anyone away. I think if there were to be a "problem", I'm sure the Bishop and whatever other priesthood holders need be involved, will step in and address it.

[Guest greengal]

Are you more concerned about her personality or her making anti comments?

[slamjet]

It seems you're asking if we would bring someone to church who may make other members uncomfortable if not also offended. I say screw what others are going to think. This is not about making sure others feel ok, it's about showing a good example to the visitor.

We've had drunks, looney folks, people who sure seem they're off their meds, Etc. Heck, I only need to look at how I treated people when I started to come back to church.

So let her loose and watch the fun unfold.

[Backroads]

Are you more concerned about her personality or her making anti comments?

The anti stuff is the main concern (my parents' belong to a... quirky... ward to say the least). But Aunt is the type that would start a doctrine war in the middle of a lesson.

Thanks for your thoughts.

[Palerider]

The anti stuff is the main concern (my parents' belong to a... quirky... ward to say the least). But Aunt is the type that would start a doctrine war in the middle of a lesson.

Thanks for your thoughts.

I would think they would be attending the Gospel Principles class. I think those who teach that class and missionaries included would be able to handle what comes up.