How do Mormons do it?

[Sunday21]

This is a question, that as a convert, I have always wanted to ask. How do the lds manage to do all the things that they do? Cart 4 kids from activity to activity, hold down a full-time job, read scriptures, and on and on. I am unmarried, no kids and I can barely do it. I quit working Sundays a few years ago and it nearly killed me job wise though I have managed. Still I have friends with 5 kids, unsupportive spouses and full time jobs who teach early morning seminary and still smile. I have no idea how those with kids and both parents working manage to keep going. Any thoughts?

[Lakumi]

This is a question, that as a convert, I have always wanted to ask. How do the lds manage to do all the things that they do? Cart 4 kids from activity to activity, hold down a full-time job, read scriptures, and on and on. I am unmarried, no kids and I can barely do it. I quit working Sundays a few years ago and it nearly killed me job wise though I have managed. Still I have friends with 5 kids, unsupportive spouses and full time jobs who teach early morning seminary and still smile. I have no idea how those with kids and both parents working manage to keep going. Any thoughts?

I couldn't risk not working on Sunday's due to the abysmal job market here.

The hardest part for me is waking up so early since I rarely ever do. I read scriptures at my leisure- once you force yourself to do things, they usually feel like a chore and you will find ways to avoid or put them off (its not like taking out the trash, something you can only avoid for so long, you can wake up one day and be all "I've not read the BoM for weeks")

[Guest]

I call it "tithing your time". If you do the most important things first, there always seems to be room for the rest. Just like if you pay your tithing first, all your needs seem to be met.

Of course we also have to be wise with what we have, including our time. Sometimes you have to say "no" to things. A lot of kids don't need to do all the activities they do, for instance. Mine get one each.

We don't generally party into the night. We have the WoW that (ideally) helps us take care of our bodies. We have a support network in each other.

[dahlia]

I hear you, Sunday21. Many of the men in my ward are doctors or residents. I don't know how they deal with being on call, class work, and callings, My home teacher is a great guy with 5 kids and a busy practice, yet he still brings me treats he's made, fixes things in my house, etc., without a second thought.

The one difference I see between their work and mine (I'm a professor), is that, once they're practicing, when they come home, their time is their own, whereas I'm still grading papers, writing articles, reviewing other people's papers for publication, etc. It seems my work is 24/7. I just don't have the time nor energy for all that some of these folks do - with 3-5 kids (my son is grown).

It's a hard model to emulate, for sure.

[Connie]

The first thing that comes to my mind is Psalm 55:22. Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee.

[Suzie]

This is a question, that as a convert, I have always wanted to ask. How do the lds manage to do all the things that they do?

Sometimes we do and sometimes we don't. Unfortunately, many times we are away from home for many hours not only due to our demanding jobs but also Church related activities and callings, leaving little time to spend with our families.

I think the most important thing to do is prioritize, it makes little sense to me to spend hours in a Church activity when at home our spouse might be alone dealing with the children and doing all the chores. Service starts at home, families are our priority and the proper balance needs to be reached.

[Sunday21]

The first thing that comes to my mind is Psalm 55:22. Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee.

Just how do you go about casting your burdens on The Lord? Can you break that down into steps?

[Drpepper]

I would recommend this talk on when choosing what to do.

https://www.lds.org/ensign/2007/11/good-better-best

[lagarthaaz]

I would recommend this talk on when choosing what to do.

https://www.lds.org/ensign/2007/11/good-better-best

Thank you for posting that link - I really needed to read that talk today.

[lagarthaaz]

This is a question, that as a convert, I have always wanted to ask. How do the lds manage to do all the things that they do? Cart 4 kids from activity to activity, hold down a full-time job, read scriptures, and on and on. I am unmarried, no kids and I can barely do it. I quit working Sundays a few years ago and it nearly killed me job wise though I have managed. Still I have friends with 5 kids, unsupportive spouses and full time jobs who teach early morning seminary and still smile. I have no idea how those with kids and both parents working manage to keep going. Any thoughts?

Things are not always what they seem, and while on the surface people might be going along swimmingly, there is usually a cost to family time or our emotional, spiritual or physical health. I have a friend in just that position who suffered a heart attack last week. Fortunately it was 'mild' and she's home now on strict orders to re-prioritize her commitments and lifestyle. There's a warning there for every one of us, especially as women who work and take care of families, to slow down and take care of ourselves, or our bodies will force us to do it. I'm certainly one who needs to heed that advice - and am re-evaluating all that I do.

[The Folk Prophet]

It is by the grace of Christ that any good is in the world. This is true of Mormons as well as others.

[Quin]

The same way parents everywhere do it : by the skin of our teeth when we're new, and as easy as breathing later.

Parenting is a steep learning curve.

It just is.

But people find their groove.

Their style.

What works for them, and their family. .

And the moment you find your groove, things change.

So you have to find another one.

So it's also constantly adapting to changing circumstances.

So we change over time, as our lives change.

Sometime dramatically (death, divorce, illness/Injury, job loss, etc.)

And always gradually (lifespan development).

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying its easy easy.

Parenting is hard.

Agonizing, crazy making, cry yourself to sleep HARD sometimes.

But breathing gets hard, from time to time, too.

It's just also a PART of us.

Something we HAVE to do.

Not because we're LDS.

But because we're parents.

Honestly... Being a convert with kids... It's EASIER being an LDS parent, than back when I wasn't.

Because the church is super family friendly / child friendly.

There is a ton of support, shared values, shared experience.

But parenting is still hard.

That's the name of the game.

Q