Mikey9 Posted May 13, 2014 Report Share Posted May 13, 2014 In the latest two days i have broken the law of chasity not one but three times and i have repented but i dont want to talk to the bishop because if i tell him that i cant look him in his eyes again. I have been a member for a little over a week and yesterday i broke LoC twice and Today once. Should i talk to the bishop? What will happen? Will i be unable to participate in sacrament and Church Prayer or will he overlook it and just tell me to repent because im now? What will happen? Can i confess to someone else? The missionaries will visit me soon and talk about the temple. Must i tell them and can i confess to them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikey9 Posted May 13, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 13, 2014 I am a teen- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikey9 Posted May 13, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 13, 2014 It was P*rn and M***ur*ation not premarital sex or so Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
estradling75 Posted May 13, 2014 Report Share Posted May 13, 2014 As much as you like and love the missionaries your bishop is the one with the keys and authority to deal with the issues members have. Around these parts the question of "should I talk to my bishop about..." is answered with. "That is a good question to ask your bishop." Do understand that unless your bishop is brand-new your problem will not be the first of its kind the bishop has handled. He can help you and will help you, if you will let him. Roseslipper and Backroads 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted May 13, 2014 Report Share Posted May 13, 2014 Around these parts the question of "should I talk to my bishop about..." is answered with. "That is a good question to ask your bishop." We also say, if you are concerned enough to ask the question it's probably something you should talk to your Bishop about. And this is something you should speak to your Bishop about. Roseslipper 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikey9 Posted May 13, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 13, 2014 Okay but what can happen? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted May 13, 2014 Report Share Posted May 13, 2014 Only the Bishop can answer that. Bishops handle situations differently depending on their discernment and perception of the situation. There is no standard answer. Roseslipper 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
estradling75 Posted May 13, 2014 Report Share Posted May 13, 2014 Okay but what can happen? Since you are asking from a position of fear... lets talk about what will not happen. You will not be kicked out of the church.You will not be laughed at.You will not be publicly humiliated.You will not be told you are a horrible person. While we can not tell you details of what will happen, in general your bishop will listen and learn about what you are struggling with. Then he will recommend certain actions and changes for you to make to help you overcome your issues. Then he will follow up to offer encouragement and support as needed. Backroads, Quin, pam and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikey9 Posted May 13, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 13, 2014 Okay but the consequences? Is it possible that i must stop taking sacrament for a time? This is very embarrasing because the bishop talks to my Dad sometimes and he thinks im better than this. Is it possible to talk to a Bishop in another city or stake? I just want to die this is very embarrasing and i hate myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
estradling75 Posted May 13, 2014 Report Share Posted May 13, 2014 It is possible the bishop will tell you to stop taking the sacrament for awhile. That is a call for him to make. The interviews are to be keep confidential, barring some kind of legal requirement. If you wish you can ask you bishop straight out not to tell your father before you confess anything. That might help him remember his responsibility if you are afraid he might mess up. (Bishop's are human after all) Roseslipper 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dravin Posted May 13, 2014 Report Share Posted May 13, 2014 Mikey, you may be getting frustrated because people aren't coming out with lists such as, "He'll likely do X, Y, or Z". Pam has touched on why people aren't able to give such lists with confidence, because it depends on multiple things, but there is a degree of danger in us just blindly speculating. If say Pam or Estradling pipped up with, "He'll likely do X, or Y" and your Bishop does in fact do Z you may be inclined to feel that since Z is less desirable, from your perspective, than X or Y that your Bishop is being unreasonable. After all, you asked about online and the consensus was X or Y, not Z! You may immediately object with, "I'm not that silly! I understand that these are just in the dark suggestions offered by people divorced from the realities involved.", but folks who have been on the site long enough know to be wary. We have seen people come and complain that because, based on what other people have told them (most likely with the best of intentions), that their Bishop is being unreasonable because he's doing Z and not the expected X or Y. So while it may be frustrating for you, understand people like Pam or Estradling aren't trying to be frustrating or unhelpful, they just don't want to accidentally undermine your Bishop. pam 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikey9 Posted May 13, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 13, 2014 Okay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted May 13, 2014 Report Share Posted May 13, 2014 Exactly Dravin and exactly why I will never state what I think could happen. The fact is I just don't know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrShorty Posted May 13, 2014 Report Share Posted May 13, 2014 I just want to die this is very embarrasing and i hate myself. I hope the first thing your Bishop does is help you get over hating yourself. From statistics I have seen, masturbation is likely one of the most common "sins" we are guilty of. In this day and age, porn use is also very common. Neither sin is anything to "hate yourself" over. You are not perverted, hypersexual, gross, disgusting, or any other form of bad. You have succumbed to a "temptation that is common to man" (1 Cor 10:13). I would encourage you to talk to your bishop and work on developing a healthy and proper relationship with your sexuality. pam 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Folk Prophet Posted May 13, 2014 Report Share Posted May 13, 2014 Read this article: Why and What do I need to confess to my Bishop? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikey9 Posted May 13, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 13, 2014 Already Done, i think the FAIR article was better Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 13, 2014 Report Share Posted May 13, 2014 Mikey, if it helps... shame and remorse are steps towards repentance. If you didn't feel shameful or remorseful for the action, then you may not be ready for repentance. Because you feel these feelings, then you are well on your way to repentance and so the next step to that process is to desire to be back on that strait and narrow path to the tree of life so badly that you are willing to humble yourself and gain the courage to face up to its consequences by confessing to the bishop. The next step to that will be given to you by your bishop until this is behind you. Every mistake we have we can learn from. This is another one of those. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MacDow Posted May 13, 2014 Report Share Posted May 13, 2014 You are currently most likely in a shame cycle. Your behavior will continue until you confess and repent. Repentance is a process and not an event. It hurts and it is difficult but, well worth the effort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hobomidget Posted May 13, 2014 Share Posted May 13, 2014 · Hidden by estradling75, May 13, 2014 - pending mod review Hidden by estradling75, May 13, 2014 - pending mod review Yes, I would go up to the alter immediately and confess your sins to God and his people, cause this is very seriouse, As god was so displeased with Onan for doing the same thing, that he had no choice but to kill him. Genesis 38:9–10 And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother’s wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother. 10 And the thing which he did * displeased the Lord: wherefore he slew him also. and lets not forget Mathew:Matthew 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever llooketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. And immediately after he said, "And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell." (Matthew 5:29-30) So, now I hope you know how serious this is. Make your public announcement on this horrible thing your doing, and don't do it again. Yes, and dont be afraid to talk to your bishop about masturbation. Link to comment
Mikey9 Posted May 14, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 14, 2014 Agreed i will talk to him. There is just a problem. They day before the Sunday Meeting there will be a Temple Baptism. I guess its not a good idea to visit the temple and the day after confess this to my bishop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikey9 Posted May 15, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 15, 2014 So should i visit the temple and confess the day after or lie about why i cant visit the temple? I dont now. Off course not lying but i am in trouble. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted May 15, 2014 Report Share Posted May 15, 2014 Why lie? Just tell them you can't make this trip to the temple. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikey9 Posted May 15, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 15, 2014 okay but can i go to the temple anyway? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrShorty Posted May 15, 2014 Report Share Posted May 15, 2014 This is just my opinion, but from anecdotes I see around the internet, bishops do not universally see this kind of situation as "automatic" disqualification to go to the temple. They seem to consider temple worthiness in these cases on a case by case basis (part of why we here cannot give you specific suggestions). In keeping with the other advice given here, I would suggest you call your bishop. Tell him, "We have this temple trip on Saturday, and I'm not sure if I'm worthy to go to the temple. Can I meet with you between now and then to talk about it?" Then see if he can find a few minutes to sit down with you and discuss it. If, together, you and he decide you should not go, then you don't go to the temple, and nobody else needs to know why (and I personally have no qualms about little white lies to others in a situation like this. "I ate something that disagreed with me, so I decided not to go at the last minute" is as much as anyone else needs to know). If, together, you and he decide you can/should go to the temple, then go. Quin 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dravin Posted May 15, 2014 Report Share Posted May 15, 2014 okay but can i go to the temple anyway? Only if you're worthy. Are you worthy? Excellent question for your Bishop. I'd suggest that if you are wondering about your worthiness, and since one of the temple recommend interview questions is about if you consider yourself worthy that you postpone attending the temple until after you've spoken with your Bishop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.