A person cannot be happy without....


srmaher

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Dennis Prager, a nationally syndicated radio host posed this question on his show last week, “what is the essential ingredient for happiness?  Allot of people called in and made great arguments for what they believe is the "essential ingredient" for happiness. What do YOU think? In your opinion, what is the essential ingredient for happiness? Don't write a one word answer; give the reasons behind your answer.

 

 

UPDATE, UPDATE!

 

Happiness Defined

Several people have asked me what I mean by happiness. Now, I am assuming that 99.9% of people who come to lds.net are actually LDS. That being said, when I refer to happiness, I am referring to the same concept that the Brethren refer to in their talks. For example, Elder Holland just a few days ago gave a talk about happiness. I doubt that anyone who read his talk asked themselves, "I wonder what he means by happiness." The happiness that I am refering to is the same as in Elder Hollands talk, and every other talk given to us from the Brethren that reference happiness!

Edited by srmaher
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Correct me if i am wrong. A persons happniness is dependt on other people loving them? is that right?

 

Are you really arguing about love? Just as I said it is a basic human need. Yes, everyone needs to be loved by someone, in some way, and yes, a person's happiness and well-being depend on it. There have been studies of babies in orphanages who had all their physical needs met, but who did not and could not thrive because they were not getting the constant love that we all need (mostly because of a lack of resources).

See: Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

 

Maslow-Hierarchy-620x440.jpg

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Are you really arguing about love? Just as I said it is a basic human need. Yes, everyone needs to be loved by someone, in some way, and yes, a person's happiness and well-being depend on it. There have been studies of babies in orphanages who had all their physical needs met, but who did not and could not thrive because they were not getting the constant love that we all need (mostly because of a lack of resources).

See: Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

 

Maslow-Hierarchy-620x440.jpg

 

As to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, I am sure you would agree (maybe not) that many people have everything that Maslow lays out and are very unhappy people. So, what makes the difference?

 

We live in a day where the word "love" has become a bumper sticker. I gave you two examples where the term love is rendered meaningless. For example, many in the Nazi party "loved" their family’s (and i am sure their family’s "loved" them to), and at the same time sent Jews to gas chambers. Can someone who sends innocent men, women and children to gas chambers be happy?

 

I agree that little infants need that touch and emotional connection from their mother/fathers, but this doesent mean they will grow up to be happy. Many unhappy people come from incredible familys where love was shown in abundance.

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Choose what? it doesnt just happen because we think it, what exactly are we choosing?

 

You *choose* to be happy --- regardless of circumstances.  And actually, thoughts precede everything so a person is happy (or not) because of the thoughts they think ("as he thinketh in his heart, so is he" proverbs 23:7)

Edited by notquiteperfect
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 In your opinion, what is the essential ingredient for happiness? Don't write a one word answer; give the reasons behind your answer.

 

Why ask for someone's opinion if you want to debate what their opinion is?  Sure keeps me from wanting to give my opinion. 

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 I agree with Eoywn, but not love so much as an emotion, but Love as a Person.  God, our Father, is Love.   And when we have Love, true Love, and are able to understand Who it is and what He is giving us, through grace, then we are able to realize that nothing else really matters, but this one Love.  Once we realize this, and are able to return this love as best we can, we suddenly see just how blessed we really are in our life, with everything that God has given us.  How could we not?  And we can also finally understand that this Love can make goodness come out of any situation, therefore, we can trust our Father and His Love, because He gives us His very self, and He is trustworthy.  So, IMO, happiness is found in losing yourself to Love, dying to self and allowing Christ to live within us, to truly transform us so that we no longer seek to find happiness in the material world or through others, but only through Christ.   

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You *choose* to be happy --- regardless of circumstances.  And actually, thoughts precede everything so a person is happy (or not) because of the thoughts they think. 

 

 I agree that happiness is a choice, and as to your comment about thoughts, I would categorize "gratitude" as a thought/belief.

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Why ask for someone's opinion if you want to debate what their opinion is?  Sure keeps me from wanting to give my opinion. 

 

I am not debating, I am asking for clearity, theres a difference between the two, No? Happiness is a seriouse subject and I don't see any issue in asking questions that clarify peoples thoughts.

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 I agree with Eoywn, but not love so much as an emotion, but Love as a Person.  God, our Father, is Love.   And when we have Love, true Love, and are able to understand Who it is and what He is giving us, through grace, then we are able to realize that nothing else really matters, but this one Love.  Once we realize this, and are able to return this love as best we can, we suddenly see just how blessed we really are in our life, with everything that God has given us.  How could we not?  And we can also finally understand that this Love can make goodness come out of any situation, therefore, we can trust our Father and His Love, because He gives us His very self, and He is trustworthy.  So, IMO, happiness is found in losing yourself to Love, dying to self and allowing Christ to live within us, to truly transform us so that we no longer seek to find happiness in the material world or through others, but only through Christ.   

 

I couldn’t agree more with this statement, but if i may. What leads to feeling Gods love? notquiteperfect mentioned that gratitude is essential for happiness, and I couldn’t agree more. I believe that expressing gratitude invites Gods love into our life. What other attributes invite gods love?  As a side note, I love what Helaman chapter 5 teaches about inviting Gods love.

 

34 And it came to pass that the Lamanites could not flee because of the cloud of darkness which did overshadow them; yea, and also they were immovable because of the fear which did come upon them.

 

 40 And it came to pass that the Lamanites said unto him: What shall we do, that this cloud of darkness may be removed from overshadowing us?

 

 41 And Aminadab said unto them: You must repent, and cry unto the voice, even until ye shall have faith in Christ, who was taught unto you by Alma, and Amulek, and Zeezrom; and when ye shall do this, the cloud of darkness shall be removed from overshadowing you.

 

 42 And it came to pass that they all did begin to cry unto the voice of him who had shaken the earth; yea, they did cry even until the cloud of darkness was dispersed.

 

 43 And it came to pass that when they cast their eyes about, and saw that the cloud of darkness was dispersed from overshadowing them, behold, they saw that they were encircled about, yea every soul, by a pillar of fire.

 

 44 And Nephi and Lehi were in the midst of them; yea, they were encircled about; yea, they were as if in the midst of a flaming fire, yet it did harm them not, neither did it take hold upon the walls of the prison; and they were filled with that joy which is unspeakable and full of glory.

 

 45 And behold, the Holy Spirit of God did come down from heaven, and did enter into their hearts, and they were filled as if with fire, and they could speak forth marvelous words.

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Amen to that!  I've known happy people who have very little, but they are thankful for what they have.  I've also known people who had everything they could ever want and were miserable.  It's being thankful now that makes the difference.

 

Is there anything else you would want to add that is issential for happiness?

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I couldn’t agree more with this statement, but if i may. What leads to feeling Gods love? notquiteperfect mentioned that gratitude is essential for happiness, and I couldn’t agree more. I believe that expressing gratitude invites Gods love into our life. What other attributes invite gods love? 

 

By God's grace, it is a gift!  Not everyone will receive this gift the same way, or even understand what it is.  Gratitude is a good way to recognize our blessings, but it is still not the ultimate means to happiness.  A person can think to themself on a hot day, "I'm sure glad this car has air conditioning!", and yet be struggling with depression.  Sure, they can be grateful that they aren't driving in a hot car, but that doesn't mean they are happy and satisfied with their life. 

 

Gratitude, I believe, is a fruit of Love, but not the means of finding happiness and staying happy. (Especially if they were grateful for their home, but yet lost their home during the recession.  Their happiness through gratitude was relying on a material good).  God's Love is not a material good we can purchase at a store, it is a free gift offered to all.     

 

"You have made us for youself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you"  St. Augustine. 

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See: Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

Maslow-Hierarchy-620x440.jpg

Maslow's theory had very little to do with what the "hierarcy of needs" has been used as/for by others. In fact, Maslow went to his grave frustrated that his entire theory was ignored just because of an example he gave that was illustrating a different point. Maslow never said these are our basic needs. The hierarchy people use is merely an example of a different point Maslow was making. But, people have taken this example out of context and misused it, his theory, and Maslow himself. Maslow was angered by it the rest of his life and never could steer the theoretical ship back on course.

 

As for my thoughts on happiness: I choose peace over happiness. But, maybe that's just me.

Edited by Urstadt
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Earlier this year I read a very interesting newspaper article about Lake Conroe (Texas).  I cut the article out and am paraphrasing parts of it here.

 

The Constable Office Lake Patrol responded to a distress call from a boat that was taking on water because nobody remembered to put the plug in the boat before launching it.  (I was astonished to learn that boats had plugs, but I guess they do.)  The Lake Patrol unit reached the sinking boat and ordered the captain to head to a nearby marina, because the boat would not continue to fill with water if it remained in motion (emphasis mine). Unfortunately, another man came by in a 3rd boat and advised the people in the sinking boat to come to a full stop.  They did, the boat immediately filled with water, and 11 people ended up in the chilly waters of the lake (only half had life vests, according to the story).  They were all eventually rescued, so the story didn't end in tragedy.

 

What a great parable for happiness in life.  Move forward or sink.  When I joined the LDS Church, the bishop took me aside after my baptism and told me that I'd be happy if I did three simple things: (1) eat right, (2) exercise, and (3) spend my entire life setting honorable goals for myself and working hard to achieve them.

 

He was right.  Setting realistic goals and working hard to achieve them every day has been a huge happiness generator in my life.  When I don't have goals, I feel like I'm sinking, just like that boat.

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