Worried about getting baptized

[Smallfootsteps]

So I'm an investigator of a few months who has decided to get baptized but for various reasons couldn't set a date to do it for some time. Before I agreed to get baptized I was meeting with the missionaries and friends from church twice a week.  But now it's all stopped and I'm starting to panic and worry about everything. I don't know how to answer the questions in the interview, no-one's even talked about about the interview questions with me (and I googled it and know that people can fail the interview), I have no idea if/when I'll see the missionaries again (all I get now is random text messages from them), I'm worried about everything and I'm starting to wonder if I'm making a big mistake. One minute I feel happy about deciding to be baptized then the next minute I'm freaking out and worrying that I can't give up my old life. I thought it would be an easy process but now I feel like I'm on my own and I can't do it. Is this normal? I'm only asking about this because there's still a big part of me that wants to do it but on the other hand im consumed with doubt and worry and have nobody to talk to. 

Edited December 18, 2016 by Smallfootsteps

[zil]

Smallfootsteps,

Are you attending church?  If not, please do.  If so, perhaps ask the Relief Society President to assign you temporary visiting teachers, or for the bishop to arrange for you to have temporary home teachers (or both).  I think you should tell the missionaries you'd like to continue meeting with them regularly, even if only once a week or so, to talk about whatever you want - questions, scriptures, Mormon culture, whatever.  Everyone (you, the missionaries, and your new ward) is probably a little uncertain what to do (they're not sure how you want to handle this time, you're not sure what the norm is, everyone is unsure of everyone else's schedule and expectations).  I think the best way to solve that is to let them know what you would like.

E.g., it's OK to contact the members who used to come with the missionaries and ask if you could still get together on occasion, so you can keep learning and feeling the Spirit as you wait for your baptism date.  This thread may have some ideas for you, though it's not exactly the same scenario...

And we would be happy to talk to you if the locals are all buried in Christmas busy-ness.

PS: I think the mixed feelings you're experiencing are because Satan really doesn't want you to be baptized, so he's trying to find a way to stop that.  It's also perfectly natural to worry about the unknown.  Ask us your questions and we'll do our best to answer, to help shed light on the unknown.

[Jane_Doe]

It is perfectly normal for Satan to assail people whom desire to follow Christ and get baptized.   And it's also perfectly normal for people to worried about making a big change in their life.

You don't need to go at this alone!  If you want to meet with the missionaries or anyone else, just tell them-- they'll jump at the chance.  Weekly church is great too, and as @zil mentioned you can get home teachers and (if you're female) visiting teachers.   We're also here on the forum to help out if you'd like.

Besides all the humanly people, don't forget about Christ and your Father in Heaven.  Don't forget to pray, to listen, and to read your scriptures.  That's vitally important for coming to baptism and every step thereafter. 

 

As to the Baptismal Questions, I'll list them below.  We can talk about them if any of them have you worried.

1. 1. 

   Do you believe that God is our Eternal Father? Do you believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, the Savior and Redeemer of the world?

2. 2. 

   Do you believe the Church and gospel of Jesus Christ have been restored through the Prophet Joseph Smith? Do you believe that [current Church President] is a prophet of God? What does this mean to you?

3. 3. 

   What does it mean to you to repent? Do you feel that you have repented of your past transgressions?

4. 4. 

   Have you ever committed a serious crime? If so, are you now on probation or parole? Have you ever participated in an abortion? a homosexual relationship?

5. 5. 

   You have been taught that membership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints includes living gospel standards. What do you understand of the following standards? Are you willing to obey them?

   1. a. 

      The law of chastity, which prohibits any sexual relationship outside the bonds of a legal marriage between a man and a woman.

   2. b. 

      The law of tithing.

   3. c. 

      The Word of Wisdom.

   4. d. 

      The Sabbath day, including partaking of the sacrament weekly and rendering service to fellow members.

6. 6. 

   When you are baptized, you covenant with God that you are willing to take upon yourself the name of Christ and keep His commandments throughout your life. Are you ready to make this covenant and strive to be faithful to it?

[Jane_Doe]

Another thought---

It's not possible to "fail" a baptismal interview, if you equate "failing" that they will say "you'll never allowed to be baptized!".  Rather, the purpose of the baptismal interview is to check that you understand the promises you're about to make with Heavenly Father.  If so you don't understand something, then they'll take the opportunity to teach you.  If it's something big, they may take more time to teach you and push baptism back for a while.  But, if you have a testimony of the Gospel everyone does desire that you be baptized.  

 

 

[Smallfootsteps]

Thanks for your replies. Yes I am attending church. But last weekend I felt reluctant to go and now I'm feeling the same about this Sunday. I don't know what has changed, to begin with I liked going to church a lot. I don't really get what a testimony is. I know the church is big on them but I don't think I have one and to be honest don't undetsand what a testimony exactly is. No one has talked about this with me. I googled the interview questions but I have no idea how to answer them. Especially the bit which says "what does this mean to you". I don't know how to answer that.  No one has talked to me about the questions or helped me with any of this. I feel abandoned by the missionaries. It's like as soon as I agreed to be baptized they don't want to see me anymore. And because it's Christmas the other members I know are on vacation. I don't really have friends at the church now and feel sort of left out. Today I was feeling like I don't belong there. Everyone there knows each other but I don't know anyone. I've lived the word of wisdom for a while now but I'm still struggling to do it some days. Other days are easier. I feel so alone in all his. I don't even know who the relief society President is and I've never heard of teachers at home. I thought the missionaries would be there for me, not teachers that I don't know. Honestly I'm feeling like this isn't for me anymore. It's all a huge change for me and I have no support for any of it. I've tried praying about it but just feel defeated and overwhelmed right now. Before I said I'd get baptized I felt fine. Now it's the complete opposite and I feel like I've wasted everyone's time because for weeks I was so happy and enthusiastic to join the church, and now I feel alone and like I don't belong there anymore.

Some of the questions I have are what does it mean when there will be many more Earths? What is the difference between an exalted person and an angel, or are they the same? Once Jesus returns what happens then? Also does the church accept divorce and remarriage? I'd appreciate any help that anyone can give with this, thanks. 

 

Edited December 18, 2016 by Smallfootsteps

[Vort]

@Smallfootsteps,

I am sorry you're feeling so discouraged. Please don't give up. There are lots of very good people in the Church, but sometimes we fall down and fail to live up to our desires and standards. Give them another chance, and another after that if needed. They are fellow Saints, and they want to be there for you. They're learning how to be Saints just like you.

A "testimony" is a revelation from God to your spirit. Generally, we talk about our testimonies of the truthfulness of the Gospel, of our prophets, of the Church, or of Jesus Christ himself. Information about the truthfulness and reality of all of these is available to us through revelation.

Our earth is a place created for us so that we, our ancestors, and our descendants could experience mortal life and work out our salvation, with Christ as our Savior. This is the only earth that God has given us any information about. Nevertheless, the creations of God are endless, and we do not doubt that God has created countless other "earths" for countless others of his children.

An "angel" is a messenger from God. Angels can even be regular mortal people, I suppose. I don't see why not. But the term "angel" is usually reserved for a heavenly messenger. Those messengers are normally resurrected beings who (presumably) have received their exaltation.

Once Jesus returns, he will be acknowledged king and will reign. We have very little information about how that will happen, what process will be followed, and so forth. We have been taught that not all other religions will vanish, so presumably it will take one or more generations for the entire world to embrace the gospel. The bottom line is that we just really don't know about such things. They have not been publicly revealed.

Divorce and remarriage are allowed in the Church today, though they are strongly discouraged except in rather extreme cases of abuse or neglect. If you marry and either you or your spouse have been divorced before, that is not considered adultery by the Church. In a future time, divorce will not be acceptable, because people will more fully understand and embrace the sanctity of marriage.

Hope this has been of some help.

[zil]

6 hours ago, Smallfootsteps said:

Everyone there knows each other but I don't know anyone.

I know it seems like everyone knows each other, but that's probably not true.  But more importantly, you'll never get to know each other unless you spend time with each other.  I know that's easier when someone like the missionaries introduces you, and I'm sorry that the missionaries, members you've met, and the ones in the ward aren't making that easier for you.  Could you bring yourself to go back and say to just one person something like, "I'm an investigator and am unsure what to do now, is there someone who could help me?"

I'd like to direct you back to your own words:

On 12/15/2016 at 5:24 AM, Smallfootsteps said:

Before I agreed to get baptized I was meeting with the missionaries and friends from church twice a week.

 

6 hours ago, Smallfootsteps said:

for weeks I was so happy and enthusiastic to join the church

(That happiness, I think, was in part because of the Spirit testifying to you of the truth of the things you've been learning - since you asked about testimony, I thought I'd point out that you have experienced at least the start of one).  Then something changed (loss of contact with those who were teaching you and helping you learn these things which made you happy):

On 12/15/2016 at 5:24 AM, Smallfootsteps said:

But now it's all stopped and I'm starting to panic and worry about everything.

 

On 12/15/2016 at 5:24 AM, Smallfootsteps said:

 I have no idea if/when I'll see the missionaries again (all I get now is random text messages from them), I'm worried about everything and I'm starting to wonder if I'm making a big mistake.

 

6 hours ago, Smallfootsteps said:

now I feel alone and like I don't belong there anymore

What you want, I hope, is to get back to what was making you happy, and get away from the things making you unhappy.  For that, we need to get you back together with people who will help you learn, and help you feel comfortable while you're at church.  I think it's OK to tell the missionaries what you've told us.  Use different words, as you think appropriate.  Just text them back and tell them you're feeling uncertain and sort of abandoned and would like for them to continue their visits up until your baptism, and to help you meet more people in your ward.  PM me their contact info and I'll tell them to get back to you.

Did you know that missionaries are transferred from place to place, so that it's possible one or both of the ones who taught you have left the area (but the phone number, as I understand it, stays in the area)?  So maybe there were transfers and the new missionaries don't realize there's a need for them...  (I'm not trying to make excuses for them - I think they and/or someone in the ward should be in frequent contact with you unless you told them not to be - I'm just trying to point out various realities which might explain matters and make the problem easier to solve.)

I know this might seem backward (that they should be reaching out to you), but as Vort said, we're all flawed and trying to do our best and failing at it, so if you can bring yourself to speak to a ward member or text the missionaries, that might get things back on track.

As for the Relief Society President...  Have you been to a class after Sacrament Meeting that was only women?  That's Relief Society.  The Relief Society President, her two counselors and her secretary should be seated at the front of the room facing everyone else.  One of them conducts the meeting before the teacher gets up and gives a lesson.  If you've never been invited to attend Relief Society, then I really want the contact info for your missionaries, cuz they've dropped the ball.

Finally, I'll say that I don't think you need to worry or stress over the baptism interview.  The whole point of all this (missionaries, lessons, church, the interview) is to help you learn the Gospel of Jesus Christ and come to Christ.  So the interview is to see if you're ready to make a covenant to follow Christ, with a good understanding of what that means.  If the interview reveals that you're not ready, then folks will help you to get ready.  There's not "pass" or "fail", just working your way forward, like we're all trying to do.

Sorry, I feel like that's not worded so well, but I don't know how better to say it...  I hope you'll forgive the ward members in your area for getting overly caught up with their own lives, and give them another chance (and help them) to get to know you and help you along the path.  One thing I know for certain is that the church needs you - not another person, you specifically.  There are things unique to you which can bless the lives of others in and out of the Church in ways no one else can.  The Gospel of Jesus Christ can help you to do that and find real joy in your life.  (It will be hard, as you've discovered, but worth it in the end.)

[zil]

PS: You have not wasted anyone's time in all this, no matter what else happens from here, nor will you be wasting anyone's time going forward.

[Jane_Doe]

Adding to the chorus here--

7 hours ago, Smallfootsteps said:

I don't really get what a testimony is. I know the church is big on them but I don't think I have one and to be honest don't undetsand what a testimony exactly is. No one has talked about this with me.

A testimony is the faith you have in Jesus Christ and His Gospel.

7 hours ago, Smallfootsteps said:

 I googled the interview questions but I have no idea how to answer them. Especially the bit which says "what does this mean to you". I don't know how to answer that.  No one has talked to me about the questions or helped me with any of this.

Feel free to ask any question you might have, including the broad "I don't get this!  Please help me understand!"

7 hours ago, Smallfootsteps said:

 I feel abandoned by the missionaries. It's like as soon as I agreed to be baptized they don't want to see me anymore.

*Warning: Incoming Bluntness*

It sounds like your missionaries have MEGA dropped the ball!  Text them and tell them to get their butts in gear.  They should be WAY more on top of this.

Other avenues of support are of course the people at church, the people here online, and there's even missionaries online https://www.mormon.org/chat

7 hours ago, Smallfootsteps said:

And because it's Christmas the other members I know are on vacation. I don't really have friends at the church now and feel sort of left out. Today I was feeling like I don't belong there. Everyone there knows each other but I don't know anyone.

That'll come in time, don't worry.

7 hours ago, Smallfootsteps said:

 I've lived the word of wisdom for a while now but I'm still struggling to do it some days. Other days are easier.

Yeah!!  Keep going!  Keep strong!

7 hours ago, Smallfootsteps said:

I don't even know who the relief society President

During Relief Society, there are the ladies who stand up and lead the meeting-- they are the Relief Society Presidency (there's a President and she has two counselors).  They are thier to provide relief-- to help people when they feel alone, when they need help, or other times.  They do this either directly themselves, or indirectly by arranging for others to help out.  One of these other helps is that every member of Relief Society (or anyone else who requests them) has a pair of ladies who's supposed to visit them every month (called "visiting teachers").  During this visit they teach about the Gospel and ask if you need any help.  Then again, you can call them any other time for help too (like that time I was stranded on the highway in a blizzard in the middle of the night).  

"Home teachers" are essentially the same thing, but guys instead of gals.  As a gal you have both home teachers and visiting teachers.  And plus as a investigator/new member you're supposed to have the local full time missionaries and ward missionaries helping out.

Like people have been saying, you're NOT supposed to be alone in this.  Speak up!

7 hours ago, Smallfootsteps said:

It's all a huge change for me and I have no support for any of it. I've tried praying about it but just feel defeated and overwhelmed right now. Before I said I'd get baptized I felt fine.

Did the missionaries tell you the Joseph Smith First Vision story?  Do you remember the part about the terrible darkness which gripped him while he was praying, before the Father and the Son appeared?  That's exactly what you're going through- Satan's powers trying to clinch you before you come to the light.

7 hours ago, Smallfootsteps said:

Now it's the complete opposite and I feel like I've wasted everyone's time because for weeks I was so happy and enthusiastic to join the church, and now I feel alone and like I don't belong there anymore.

You are NOT a waste of time.  Even if you don't decide to be baptized, you are NOT a waste of time, in any way.  Of course, if you decide to be baptized, that would be over the moon fantastic, too.

[Jane_Doe]

8 hours ago, Smallfootsteps said:

Some of the questions I have are what does it mean when (someone told me this at church) there have been many Earths and there will be many more Earths? 

This gets into a lot of deeper stuff and/or unconfirmed speculations.  Either way addressing this is a VERY long answer.  Did you want me to go for it?

8 hours ago, Smallfootsteps said:

What is the difference between an exalted person and an angel, or are they the same?

An "angel" is a messenger.  That's literally what the Greek word means.  God can send whoever He wants to send messages: spirits not yet born, people whom have passed away, etc.

An exalted person is a person which has been exalted.  Exalted means to made perfect in the blood of the lamb and like the Father.  This happens after the Final Judgement.  More info: https://www.lds.org/manual/gospel-principles/chapter-47-exaltation?lang=eng

8 hours ago, Smallfootsteps said:

 Once Jesus returns what happens then? 

Short answer: Jesus second coming as the triumphant king, then the resurrection, then 1000 year millennium, and then final judgement.  

Second coming of Christ: https://www.lds.org/manual/gospel-principles/chapter-44-the-second-coming-of-jesus-christ?lang=eng

Millenium: https://www.lds.org/manual/gospel-principles/chapter-45-the-millennium?lang=eng

Final Judgement: https://www.lds.org/manual/gospel-principles/chapter-46-the-final-judgment?lang=eng

8 hours ago, Smallfootsteps said:

 Also does the church accept divorce and remarriage? At my old church I was taught that getting remarried is adultery, but I'm unclear what the LDS church teaches. 

In regards to civil marriages, totally.  Sealings are more complicated (I can elaborate more if you wish).

 

 

[Smallfootsteps]

16 hours ago, Jane_Doe said:

Adding to the chorus here--

A testimony is the faith you have in Jesus Christ and His Gospel.

Feel free to ask any question you might have, including the broad "I don't get this!  Please help me understand!"

*Warning: Incoming Bluntness*

It sounds like your missionaries have MEGA dropped the ball!  Text them and tell them to get their butts in gear.  They should be WAY more on top of this.

Other avenues of support are of course the people at church, the people here online, and there's even missionaries online https://www.mormon.org/chat

That'll come in time, don't worry.

Yeah!!  Keep going!  Keep strong!

During Relief Society, there are the ladies who stand up and lead the meeting-- they are the Relief Society Presidency (there's a President and she has two counselors).  They are thier to provide relief-- to help people when they feel alone, when they need help, or other times.  They do this either directly themselves, or indirectly by arranging for others to help out.  One of these other helps is that every member of Relief Society (or anyone else who requests them) has a pair of ladies who's supposed to visit them every month (called "visiting teachers").  During this visit they teach about the Gospel and ask if you need any help.  Then again, you can call them any other time for help too (like that time I was stranded on the highway in a blizzard in the middle of the night).  

"Home teachers" are essentially the same thing, but guys instead of gals.  As a gal you have both home teachers and visiting teachers.  And plus as a investigator/new member you're supposed to have the local full time missionaries and ward missionaries helping out.

Like people have been saying, you're NOT supposed to be alone in this.  Speak up!

Did the missionaries tell you the Joseph Smith First Vision story?  Do you remember the part about the terrible darkness which gripped him while he was praying, before the Father and the Son appeared?  That's exactly what you're going through- Satan's powers trying to clinch you before you come to the light.

You are NOT a waste of time.  Even if you don't decide to be baptized, you are NOT a waste of time, in any way.  Of course, if you decide to be baptized, that would be over the moon fantastic, too.

Hi, I don't know anything about the first vision story. The missionaries didn't talk about that. What happened? 

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

1 hour ago, Smallfootsteps said:

Hi, I don't know anything about the first vision story. The missionaries didn't talk about that. What happened? 

That should have been one of the first discussions you recieved.  I would ask them about it if I were you.  In the meantime, here it is:

https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/topics/joseph-smith?lang=eng

[Smallfootsteps]

Thank you @LiterateParakeet