Why I Broke Up with Christmas

[Third Hour]

Not gonna lie: I’m not a fan of Christmas. I confessed this to a complete stranger the other day when we were busy at a Festival of Trees charity event, and she unassumingly asked me if this experience got me in the “Christmas spirit.” “Eh, no.” “But don’t you just loooooove Christmas?” “Nope, no way, not in the very least. If anything it makes it worse. All the same twenty Christmas songs on repeat lathered with bells jingling and carolers singing: It’s maddening. You can take your pear tree and go fly a kite.” She stopped talking to me at that point, which didn’t give me a chance to explain why Christmas and I are no longer seeing each other: we simply wanted different things. This stance is not necessarily based on the over-consumerism of stuff you simply don’t need. Nor is it to take away the fraction of Christ’s birth. I love Jesus. It’s just a myriad of little things that have added up over the years to create a heaping pile of...

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[Guest MormonGator]

48 minutes ago, ldsnet said:

Not gonna lie: I’m not a fan of Christmas. I confessed this to a complete stranger the other day when we were busy at a Festival of Trees charity event, and she unassumingly asked me if this experience got me in the “Christmas spirit.” “Eh, no.” “But don’t you just loooooove Christmas?” “Nope, no way, not in the very least. If anything it makes it worse. All the same twenty Christmas songs on repeat lathered with bells jingling and carolers singing: It’s maddening. You can take your pear tree and go fly a kite.” She stopped talking to me at that point, which didn’t give me a chance to explain why Christmas and I are no longer seeing each other: we simply wanted different things. This stance is not necessarily based on the over-consumerism of stuff you simply don’t need. Nor is it to take away the fraction of Christ’s birth. I love Jesus. It’s just a myriad of little things that have added up over the years to create a heaping pile of...

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I know exactly how you feel. 100%. It wasn't until very, very recently that I got into the Christmas spirit. Lots of reasons for it. I just put on a happy face (sorry @Carborendum I wasn't being a what you see is what you get kind of guy) and didn't bring anyone down. The few times I tried to be open about it I was obnoxiously accused of being a buzzkill, a Grinch, or a killjoy.  It was so frustrating. 

A+ article.  

[Guest]

2 hours ago, MormonGator said:

 (sorry @Carborendum I wasn't being a what you see is what you get kind of guy) 

How can you be?  Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately?  Your outward facade is certainly not the Gator I've come to know and love.

[megsrondeau]

On 12/18/2016 at 8:52 AM, MormonGator said:

I know exactly how you feel. 100%. It wasn't until very, very recently that I got into the Christmas spirit. Lots of reasons for it. I just put on a happy face (sorry @Carborendum I wasn't being a what you see is what you get kind of guy) and didn't bring anyone down. The few times I tried to be open about it I was obnoxiously accused of being a buzzkill, a Grinch, or a killjoy.  It was so frustrating. 

A+ article.  

I find it annoying that all the Christmas lovers out there take immediate offense when your own attitude is "meh- it's really not that big of a deal folks" and then they erupt and you are labeled as a black hole where dreams go to die. (really what I wanted to say but then the article couldn't be too melodramatic) 

[prisonchaplain]

This topic confuses me, to be honest.  As a chaplain, I get that Jewish folks--especially those with younger children in public schools, may feel negatively towards civic Christmas celebrations.  As a pastor, I get that some have experienced family and relationship struggles, or personal tragedy, that happened around the holidays.  Then there are those singles, far from home.  Soldiers too.  And prisoners.

BUT, for Christians--observant, believing, Spirit-led--for these to approach Christmas as "meh"--yeah, I don't get it.  Sure, there's the commercialization, but there are also fresh opportunities to share faith, and certainly to celebrate it.  Family traditions--especially for those where all members are grounded in the same precious beliefs--well they bind us, and the memories are so sweet.. So, I'm not read to condemn anyone who's just not feeling it, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit there's a part of me that wants to say kindly but clearly, "Come on...get with the program."

[Guest MormonGator]

On December 20, 2016 at 1:32 PM, megsrondeau said:

I find it annoying that all the Christmas lovers out there take immediate offense when your own attitude is "meh- it's really not that big of a deal folks" and then they erupt and you are labeled as a black hole where dreams go to die. (really what I wanted to say but then the article couldn't be too melodramatic) 

Amen. Totally agree 

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

On 12/20/2016 at 10:32 AM, megsrondeau said:

I find it annoying that all the Christmas lovers out there take immediate offense when your own attitude is "meh- it's really not that big of a deal folks" and then they erupt and you are labeled as a black hole where dreams go to die. (really what I wanted to say but then the article couldn't be too melodramatic) 

I loved this article because I could totally relate to it...not about Christmas, but...in a significant way I don't want to get into here.  It was very helpful to me, so thanks!  

@prisonchaplain  I think the article would answer your questions, at least regarding the writer of this article.  That is unless you already read it.   

[prisonchaplain]

I reread the article, and do not want to delve into the author's personal story anymore than I would want to pry into that of @LiterateParakeet.  My thing is that most people these days realize that for some, the holidays offer hurts, due to personal stories and memories.  We're reminded at employee meetings to be on the lookout for each other...to be present and alert for our line staff.  Maybe I'm too shallow, then. My thought is that if I'm grieving personal tragedy, and the holidays trigger some hard memories/feelings, I would protect those--relying on friends, family, Heavenly Father, and perhaps even a therapist.  BUT, when the acquaintance, co-worker, or stranger says, "Merry Christmas, are you enjoying the holidays?" my answer would be to smile back, says, "Merry Christmas to you...and God bless you real good!"  We all need that, and no one should feel embarrassed for attempting to issue me goodness and blessing.

Granted, no one deserves condemnation for being more frank.  I just think the world needs Christmas cheer more than ever.

[Guest]

7 hours ago, prisonchaplain said:

This topic confuses me, to be honest.  As a chaplain, I get that Jewish folks--especially those with younger children in public schools, may feel negatively towards civic Christmas celebrations.  As a pastor, I get that some have experienced family and relationship struggles, or personal tragedy, that happened around the holidays.  Then there are those singles, far from home.  Soldiers too.  And prisoners.

BUT, for Christians--observant, believing, Spirit-led--for these to approach Christmas as "meh"--yeah, I don't get it.  Sure, there's the commercialization, but there are also fresh opportunities to share faith, and certainly to celebrate it.  Family traditions--especially for those where all members are grounded in the same precious beliefs--well they bind us, and the memories are so sweet.. So, I'm not read to condemn anyone who's just not feeling it, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit there's a part of me that wants to say kindly but clearly, "Come on...get with the program."

Yes.  And yes.  When Christmas is actually like that, then it really is a blessing.  It is something to look forward to.  The thing is that I actually like the "idea" of Christmas.  But the reality is far from the idea.  Of course any Christian of any stripe would think highly of the commemoration of the coming of our Savior into the world.  But most of the time, we're not talking about Christ around the holiday.  We're too busy with decorations, with present buying, and figuring out schedules, dinners, etc.  

I basically have to force the Children to listen to the Christmas story before we jump into opening presents.  How much spirituality did we get out of that?  Well, a tad more than if we didn't read it.  But so often, it feels like the minute I close the Bible, then the Spirit just disappears.

I once suggested to my parents and siblings that we forego gift exchange and volunteer at a soup kitchen or some similar charitable endeavor.  They stoned me (figuratively, of course).

How many church Christmas dinners or parties have I been to that had little more than a 2 minute talk on Christmas?  Many.  Thankfully, we've also had several that really focused on Christ.  And I enjoyed those much more.  

Last Sunday the ward had a musical Christmas program.  The primary, the RS, several independent groups, and the ward choir got up to sing.  Of course they were all religious carols rather than secular ones.  But what impressed me most was that the bishopric counselor who was conducting the meeting said the following prior to the music:

Quote

As we listen to the music, I'd encourage you to think of the message of Christ in all these numbers.  Remember the music isn't here to "WOW" us into recognizing how wonderfully so many in the ward can sing.  These carols are a method of worship.  And the entire program which is centered on Christ is here to help us worship.  I pray that we can all join in this very special worship service.

That really was fantastic.  Maybe as we get enough Christmases like this one, I might get more excited about the anticipation.  But based on past history, I'm more inclined to meet it with dread than with the Spirit.

The bottom line is that if it really were a religious festival, I'd love it.  It would be my favorite holiday.  But the commercialization, the secular part of Christmas is so loud that I just can't hear the Still Small Voice.

[megsrondeau]

Sometimes people just can't handle honesty. I would LOVE to be that person that LOVES christmas- to "get with the program" but I can't fake it anymore than I can fake liking peas. That is not to say that if someone were to wish me a Merry Christmas or get me a gift or go out of their way to make me jolly I would be-grinch them and slam the door in their face- quite the contrary! But what I can't do is dredge through all the expectations knowing it won't make an ounce of difference.

I've found the only thing that brings me close to Christ is being with my family- which I make a point to spend a lot of time with so if at the end of the year family time is surrounded by decorated trees and cheesy movies then so be it- I would never let my indifference shatter the magic my siblings are trying so hard to share with their kids. 

My brother read this then asked his wife if I really felt this way- and it made him sad. But I'm not going to put on a phony happy face just to appease his feelings. People (especially christians) need to stop comparing and judging- just let me be. My hope is that one day there will be magic again- and I will appreciate it more than ever!

[prisonchaplain]

@megsrondeau  Your feelings are yours, and you do well to own them and protect them. Further, you get why people want to cheer you up, "correct" your attitude--and are comfortable enough with your heart and mind to push back--a little--and say, "I'm okay where I am and God is getting me where I need to be."  It all sounds healthy to me.  Not the road most traveled...but healthy and authentic.

[prisonchaplain]

On ‎12‎/‎21‎/‎2016 at 10:44 PM, Carborendum said:

I once suggested to my parents and siblings that we forego gift exchange and volunteer at a soup kitchen or some similar charitable endeavor.  They stoned me (figuratively, of course).

Noble intentions, but, imho, bad context.  The purpose of foregoing gift exchange would appear to be a renunciation of doing so--as if the more noble and Christian thing to do--the thing all the faithful should do--is to volunteer at the soup kitchen.  I tell my children they are not privileged for having a white dad, nor for growing up in a middle class two-parent household.  They have nothing to be ashamed of.  There were not given too much.  Every child ought to have the two-parents living in their home.  They ought to not have to worry about food and shelter.  I hate to say it, but I'm guessing that the virtual stoning you experienced was an anti-PC reaction--whether you intended it or not.

[Guest]

No, not really.  My sister specifically said,"No (disgust in her face and tone) I want my presents.".  They were not offended politically.  Understand that this was before the PC era. They simply were not very charitable people.  Christmas made no impact on them spiritually.

Edited December 24, 2016 by Guest

[prisonchaplain]

Oh...well, there are those.  I asked one fellow, who had told me what church he belonged to (Catholic) but then all the things he disagreed with it over, whether he was a C.E.O. Christian.  He asked what that was and I said "Christmas Easter Only."  He kinda mumbled, and said, "Well, I err, don't go quite that often."