Just got endowments out.... garment sizing issues :-/

[Jane_Doe]

34 minutes ago, JustRain said:

So I went back, bought more sizes, more styles. Nothing fits right... I even bought a petite in one size, and it's the same length as the regular. They also won't fit under any of my daily clothes. Finding clothes for me is like a needle in a haystack, as I also suffer from an eating disorder, which comes along with body image issues. The garments have only made me feel worse about my body :(. I don't know if special ordering is going to help or not. I know they are a gift, and that is why I love them. It's just hard to have a gift that creates problems that were once under control. I've gone through a lot of therapy for my eating disorder, and I was doing so well, I was almost done, but now it's back. I know it's just my body that has these issues, but I feel like I'm at a loss either way. I either am unable to sleep, eat well, and wear the garment, or not wear it and feel bad. So I really don't know what to do.

Are you currently in therapy?

[JustRain]

@Jane_Doe, yes I am, my but therapist isn't LDS. Most of what I've been taught is that I shouldn't be trying to fit in clothes or to conform to things that make me uncomfortable. Buy what fits (not by what size), what feels comfortable, so I can be comfortable in my own skin. I am unable to wear tight clothing due to this, or anything that becomes baggy.

[Bad Karma]

Tips from Mrs Karma,

order one set two sizes smaller. If you have a winner, there ya go! Order the rest in that size, otherwise, adjust your size order as needed until you score the right fit.

wear your bra under your garments lest it drive you nuts. The bra serves to promote the health of breast tissues, one would not wear a garment under bandages, same school of thought. 

Yes, there are some of the more zealous who insist on the other way, you're ok either way.

[Sunday21]

Dear @JustRain,

Sorry you are having trouble. We may have to take this in steps. Is there any part of the garment that you can wear? A top or a bottom? If so, start with that. Small steps. Try that step and talk to Heavenly Father.

[Jane_Doe]

7 hours ago, JustRain said:

@Jane_Doe, yes I am, my but therapist isn't LDS. Most of what I've been taught is that I shouldn't be trying to fit in clothes or to conform to things that make me uncomfortable. Buy what fits (not by what size), what feels comfortable, so I can be comfortable in my own skin. I am unable to wear tight clothing due to this, or anything that becomes baggy.

I think talking to your therapist about this would be a good idea, despite the fact that she's not LDS.  Therapists are there to help you achieve your goals, even if they are of a different religious persuasion.  I also like @Sunday21's advice of maybe doing things piece by piece.  

[JustRain]

4 hours ago, Sunday21 said:

Dear @JustRain,

Sorry you are having trouble. We may have to take this in steps. Is there any part of the garment that you can wear? A top or a bottom? If so, start with that. Small steps. Try that step and talk to Heavenly Father.

I've been trying to do this. I bought different bottoms... tried the stretchy kind, etc. There's not much room for extra fabric in my jeans (just note, they're not skin tight jeans, they're straight leg), or things just don't breathe, and tends to leave me feeling like I'm wearing a diaper. :-/ - it works okayish around the house in loose pjs, but that's about it. I feel like I'm the 1% that garments don't work for.

[Sunday21]

Dear @JustRain, Ok. Maybe step 1 is acquiring garments. Let's pause here for a bit. You have a recommend for two years and it may take some time to make the transition. Perhaps, you could return to the temple in a month or two for another session? Wear your garments in the temple at that time?

Why not put garments on the back burner for now? In say 6 months, you might need another blouse or pair of pants, you could at that time take the garments with you to the store and buy something that fits over the garments.

For right now, let's take a break. Go on with your life. You have made a start. Be proud of yourself! Congratulations on taking out your endowments!

[Sunday21]

@JustRain. Perhaps you need a celestial hug? Suggestion in a week or so when you have about 30 minutes, go somewhere quiet, read a chapter from the Book of Mormon, pray to Heavenly Father, bear your testimony to Him, and then ask if He loves you. Be nice to yourself. You have come a long way!

in any case, I am proud of you! You have taken out your endowments and thus have done a great thing! Hugs!

Edited April 22, 2017 by Sunday21

[JustRain]

@Sunday21 - Thank you! I guess I do need to slow it down, take it slower than most, and work through things. My body is really different when it comes to adjustments, more than most. There are those that have been making me feel bad that I haven't been able to wear them much due to the troubles I'm faced with. They threw out the "you're obligated to wear them, so put them on", which only made me feel worse. I know they are a gift, and I know why I was given them. I know god wants me to be happy and be able to function, but right now the garments seem to hinder that.

I was so overwhelmed by the spirit after going to the temple, that it made me feel as though I wasn't myself, I was different. Which was & is confusing, to say the least. Though, right now I haven't been feeling the spirit much due to the troubles I've been having with the garments. I do not hate them, it just makes me feel sad that I am unable to wear them as I should. I do try to read my scriptures daily, a chapter or two usually. It helps me to relax, and feel at ease.

[Jane_Doe]

20 minutes ago, JustRain said:

@Sunday21 - Thank you! I guess I do need to slow it down, take it slower than most, and work through things. My body is really different when it comes to adjustments, more than most. There are those that have been making me feel bad that I haven't been able to wear them much due to the troubles I'm faced with. They threw out the "you're obligated to wear them, so put them on", which only made me feel worse. I know they are a gift, and I know why I was given them. I know god wants me to be happy and be able to function, but right now the garments seem to hinder that.

I was so overwhelmed by the spirit after going to the temple, that it made me feel as though I wasn't myself, I was different. Which was & is confusing, to say the least. Though, right now I haven't been feeling the spirit much due to the troubles I've been having with the garments. I do not hate them, it just makes me feel sad that I am unable to wear them as I should. I do try to read my scriptures daily, a chapter or two usually. It helps me to relax, and feel at ease.

(My $0.02)

I would definitely focus on the Spirit and continuing to nature your testimony.  Let the garments come in time, a goal you are continuing to work towards.  Like maybe in a month you wear them for a hour with loose pajamas while chugging Netflix on your couch (this is just a random hypothetical example).  And then take a step up from there, keep marching forward-- most importantly with Christ at your right hand.  

[zil]

6 hours ago, Sunday21 said:

In say 6 months, you might need another blouse or pair of pants, you could at that time take the garments with you to the store and buy something that fits over the garments.

This is excellent advice and seems necessary in this scenario - make sure that all new clothing is clothing which is comfortable over the garment (however long it takes to restock the wardrobe).  Any clothing which is not comfortable over the garment is automatically rejected.  As a life-long member of the church, this was the default - even when we were children, this requirement was part of our shopping experience.  I'm sure this is a real challenge for new(er) members who have to sort through their wardrobe and change their shopping methods.  Reconcile yourself to it now, and implement it as you're able.  Eventually your wardrobe will consist entirely of garment-compatible clothing.  You might even make this a goal, if that will help you to recognize and feel better about the progress.

[Sunday21]

Dear @JustRain Ignore the haters. Heavenly Father loves you! Small steps. You have made your endowments. That's a big step! You may have to put a little distance between yourself and non-supportive people. Gradually stop confiding in those who are not supportive. Be kind to yourself. God loves you!

[Guest]

@JustRain the first thing to remember is that Heavenly Father loves you and understands what you are going through. I agree with @Sunday21 about going slowly, and I know Heavenly Father will understand. Because of my sensory issue I had a hard adjusting, especially at night, when the garments would drive my crazy. It came to the point where I couldn't sleep because of them. After a couple of nights with little to no sleep because of the garments. I felt like I couldn't go one more night without sleeping. But I was taught that you should never take off your garments (and even the Stake Pres. made a point about never talking your garments off), so I felt trapped. I was either going to go without sleep or disobey Heavenly Father. I felt I couldn't talk to anyone about it because it's a sensitive subject and most people don't know it understand about sensory issues. I was so distraught. I prayed to Heavenly Father and  pleaded to know what to do. And surprisingly I received an answer right away (usually when I pray, I don't get an answer right away.)  The answer I was given was that I needed to sleep, which meant for then I would have to sleep without my garments. I felt love and understanding from Heavenly Father. He understood what I was going through and he wanted what was best for me (which at that time was sleep). I eventually found garments that work at night. I still occasionally have problems with my garments, but I know when I have these problems, Heavenly Father understands and is there for me. 

I'm sorry for the long post but I know if He understands me, he understands you too. He will help you along this journey. As stated above try just one part of the garments, sounds like you can wear them under your pjs so wear then when you have your pjs on and try to with your normal pants, maybe an hour at a time, when you are ready. Have you tried the tops with the bra underneath? I know we have been taught to wear the bra on the outside of the garments but if you do better with the garments over the bra do it that way. Just remember as you try and figure out what works for you, that He loves you and He is there for you, He understands what you are going through and why you may need to adjust to garments differently than other people. 

Edited April 22, 2017 by miav

[Sunday21]

@miav thanks for posting!

[JustRain]

13 minutes ago, miav said:

@JustRain the first thing to remember is that Heavenly Father loves you and understands what you are going through. I agree with @Sunday21 about going slowly, and I know Heavenly Father will understand. Because of my sensory issue I had a hard adjusting, especially at night, when the garments would drive my crazy. It came to the point where I couldn't sleep because of them. After a couple of nights with little to no sleep because of the garments. I felt like I couldn't go one more night without sleeping. But I was taught that you should never take off your garments (and even the Stake Pres. made a point about never talking your garments off), so I felt trapped. I was either going to go without sleep or disobey Heavenly Father. I felt I couldn't talk to anyone about it because it's a sensitive subject and most people don't know it understand about sensory issues. I was so distraught. I prayed to Heavenly Father and  pleaded to know what to do. And surprisingly I received an answer right away (usually when I pray, I don't get an answer right away.)  The answer I was given was that I needed to sleep, which meant for then I would have to sleep without my garments. I felt love and understanding from Heavenly Father. He understood what I was going through and he wanted what was best for me (which at that time was sleep). I eventually found garments that work at night. I still occasionally have problems with my garments, but I know when I have these problems, Heavenly Father understands and is there for me. 

I'm sorry for the long post but I know if He understands me, he understands you too. He will help you along this journey. As stated above try just one part of the garments, sounds like you can wear them under your pjs so wear then when you have your pjs on and try to with your normal pants, maybe an hour at a time, when you are ready. Have you tried the tops with the bra underneath? I know we have been taught to wear the bra on the outside of the garments but if you do better with the garments over the bra do it that way. Just remember as you try and figure out what works for you, that He loves you and He is there for you, He understands what you are going through and why you may need to adjust to garments differently than other people. 

That's exactly how I've been feeling. I'm afraid to go to my bishop with my struggles, as I feel like I'll get the "never take off your garments speech" and only make everything worse. I did pray about it last night and got my answer pretty quickly too. I was told that I needed to rest, and that it was okay. What garments did you find that work well at night? I've tried the rib nit ones (poly cotton and dri lux), but they left me feeling so hot, that I couldn't take it, and I wasn't wearing anything over it. I'm someone that sleeps best when it's cool (no a/c in the house, and humid climate)

I've tried a few tops with the bra underneath, but the problem is the the lines in the chest area make things look odd, and depending on the fabric it's move in all the wrong ways. I don't know if there's a different style that doesn't have the line. I'll have to see if they can try and special order some tops (and have it made in a different fabric, and shorter too), as I found something that fits my chest area, but it's just too long and tight over the stomach, leaving me feeling hot, as there's no room for movement or air (it tends to make my skin itch), and it makes me feel worse about my own body (I do not feel comfortable feeling like I'm in a tube). This was one of my biggest worries about garments

[Guest]

I have found its not easy talking to people about clothing problems, not alot of people understand about sensory issues so i end up feeling they think im crazy (which I can kinda understand). I am glad you were about to receive an answer to your prayer last night, it helps knowing Heavenly Father understands!

I wear the one-piece garments at night, I know usually only older people wear the one-piece so don't laugh . I get them in Drisilque and always in a size that is a little bigger than what I need, that way they don't feel too close to my body and give me a little bit more room. I feel the Drisilque tops are harder to wear when its hot during the day but feels lighter than cotten-poly at night and I like the feel of them. During the day I wear cotton-poly for the tops and Drisilque for the bottoms. I feel the Drisilque slides better with my jeans and doesn't cause friction or pull the opposite way like the cotton-poly did. I use to wear the cotton-poly bottoms but the elastic band around the leg got to me, so I will call and special order some with out the band around it.

Are you trying  the Chemise tops or the tops with cups? I don't know if that would make a difference But it's worth a try.

Edited April 22, 2017 by miav

[JustRain]

@miav I've been trying both. I've tried the dri lux & poly cotton in the chemise, but I found both to be too hot, and they bothered my skin (it's rib knit, I wish they had it in jersey). I have also tried the Carinessa, but found it too clingy to my body. I have a dri silk one coming, but it won't be shipped off until Monday. The only reason I've been trying the tops with cups, is due to the neck line, since the neck line works with my dresses. I'm just hoping something will work right in this next batch of garments. It seems they have a much better selection in Utah, than our local store or online.

Edited April 23, 2017 by JustRain

[Sunday21]

I also had trouble adjusting to the garments. I did not find the silky fabrics comfortable. I trashed my wardrobe..but I could afford it! Big, big difference between me and others. 

I tired a number of styles and fabrics and ended up with the mesh. I like to wash them in fabric softener. 

It took me awhile to come up with a solution and then I lost 1/3 of my body weight and again trashed my wardrobe. Expensive hobby!

[JustRain]

@Sunday21 I wish I could do that! That is also what worries me, that I'll find the size and all that works and then lose the weight and have to start over again. I do plan on losing weight here shortly... let the journey, begin!

[Guest]

The drisilque is hard to wear during the day, when it's hot. I don't know how people can stand it (but it's the only garments my mom and grandmother's would wear). But it works for me at night, so I'm glad they have it. I couldn't wear the mesh ones, I couldn't even wear them for a day. It just shows how different we all are and what one can stand the other can't (maybe I didn't wash them in enough fabric softener ). Have you tried mesh ones @JustRain?  Once you you find the material that works for you, then it will be easier to find the right garments after you loose weight. Good luck with your journey, that's one thing I need to do but don't know how to start!

[JustRain]

@miav I'm going to give the mesh ones a try. I think the only thing that will fit in my jeans is something made of nylon at this point, so I'm also going to give the dri silk a try too. I'm trying to try everything, as at least one has to work, right? I feel like this is as bad as shopping for jeans! I'm starting to think part of the reason my garments may be feeling too hot is do to my circulation condition. I'm often too hot, or too cold at times.

[Guest]

Good luck finding the right one, I hope it works with different material and little by little you can adjust to them

Edited April 25, 2017 by miav

[Southern_Bell]

I second what the others have said so far. Finding garments that fit right can be tricky.  Ask to try some on at the distribution center next time you go.  Don't worry about what the size says, just whether or not it fits (the sizes are strange to me, and I've been endowed for a long time).  Also, even when it fits right, it can take a while to get used to the additional fabric.  This is normal.  You will want to experiment with different styles, fabrics, petite/tall, whatever.  

Some of the other posters have said that the sizes follow your bra size.  Given that, I can understand why that would make the tops fit strangely.  I, for one, measure 36 inches around for the bra, but I prefer a MUCH tighter fit for my tops and wear a 24 (I think--I haven't bought any for a long time) garment top.  Like I said, don't worry about the number, just what you feel fits well.

The good news is that garments are fairly indestructible, so once you find what works for you, they will last for pretty much forever.  I got all of mine just before I left on my mission 14 years ago, and I'm just getting to the point where I need to start replacing them.  When I got my endowment, there were some clothes that I thought I would be able to wear with garments that ended up not working anymore.  I remember feeling a little bummed about giving up my favorite skirt, but it wasn't the only thing I had to wear, so it was okay.  

The point is, you may have to adjust your wardrobe, even when what you wore before is reasonably modest.  Most importantly of all, don't stress about it.  Look at this as an opportunity to experiment.  Garments may not make you feel beautiful, but you will be able to be comfortable wearing them.  It just may take some time and some effort to find the right fabric/fit, etc.

[Southern_Bell]

Also, I have found that with v-neck tops and some scoop neck dresses, undershirts are a must.  It's another layer that isn't fun in the hot, humid southern climate, but I feel more comfortable about what I'm wearing, how I look, and I have gotten used to the effect it has on my body temperature.  I haven't felt the need to trash my wardrobe for it.

[JustRain]

Well, I managed to find some bottoms that work with my jeans! I'm quite happy about that. The nylon mesh thankfully doesn't make my jeans/hips bulkier to the point I feel like I can't move normally, and they breathe. The tops are still all really long on me, and my jeans don't allow me to tuck things in (not enough room for cotton poly). I measured the regular and petite sizes and they are both the same length... oddly. I'm going to have to special order some tops. I feel like the petites they make aren't petite (at least in the tops).