Want to convert, husband does not

[Kellybean]

Hi everyone! I've been meeting with the missionaries and plan to be baptized next month! I know this is what God wants me to do. I feel it with all my heart and soul! But my husband thinks I'm joining a "cult", and so far hasn't been open to coming with me to meet with the sisters. I'd really like some advice. I so want my husband to join me, but if he doesn't, what should I do? Does anyone else on this forum have a spouse of a different faith/no faith? Thanks for reading ?

[my two cents]

Welcome to the forum!  That's so great that you're planning on getting baptized!  I suggest you just give your husband time. Some people need more time than others to adjust to change and once he sees that you're only becoming a better version of yourself and feeling more hope and peace, the 'cult' label should take care of itself. If anything else comes to mind, I'll pop back in but again welcome - so glad to have you here! 

[Latter-Day Marriage]

I assume from you saying you are getting baptized that he has agreed to this, as I recall church policy is they won't baptize one spouse if the other spouse objects to it.  Your relationship with your husband is a higher priority even getting baptized and the church will go to great lengths to avoid causing conflict in a marriage. 

Feeling it is a cult is something that has a lot to do with not personally knowing any Mormons so you can help shape his mental image of what a Mormon is by being the best Mormon you can be.  Live the gospel, read the scriptures, pray, be kind and Christlike and let the fruits of the gospel come into his life through your faithfulness.  Living the gospel should make you a better wife, not create conflict. Invite him to church social events, help him get to meet other ward members if possible (missionaries can seem threatening and 'out to get you' to some non-members), make sure he knows the door is open for him to come to church but don't try and twist his arm or guilt him into anything. 

Respect his authority and position as as the head of the house. Don't make him feel that he is in some kind of competition with the church for your respect and devotion.  The fact that he is not a member doesn't change his position as husband and father and as spiritual leader in the home. Even if the Bishop wants to give you a calling of some kind and he says no, don't make it a point of contention between the two of you.  Let him grow at his own pace.

My mom joined the church not long after my parents married, several years before I was born.  He wasn't keen on it either but as he saw the good it did for his wife and for their kids his heart softened.  By the time I was born he knew it was true but he didn't feel he could live the Word of Wisdom so he didn't join until the year after I was baptized.  Play the long game, let the Lord gently lead him over the years to the gospel path.

[Guest]

Ah yes, the "cult" label.  I remember asking my mother at age 12, "what if we are brainwashed and in a cult and we don't know it!"  My mom said I would not be asking such questions if I actually was brainwashed and in a cult!  Over time, I have come to see that when some people call Mormons cultists, many of them are actually trying to say that we are heretics instead.  Anyhow, I don't know if that distinction helps at all, but it does explain a little about what is actuary going on when people say that Mormons are in a cult.

Edited June 11, 2017 by DoctorLemon

[Guest]

5 hours ago, Kellybean said:

Hi everyone! I've been meeting with the missionaries and plan to be baptized next month! I know this is what God wants me to do. I feel it with all my heart and soul! But my husband thinks I'm joining a "cult", and so far hasn't been open to coming with me to meet with the sisters. I'd really like some advice. I so want my husband to join me, but if he doesn't, what should I do? Does anyone else on this forum have a spouse of a different faith/no faith? Thanks for reading ?

My ward has many couples where both are now members, but one converted first and the other resisted for years.  One former counselor in the bishopric spent 20 years actively trying to keep his wife, then a recent convert, from going to church.  It took him 20 years, but he finally stopped resisting the spirit, got baptized, and eventually went on a couples mission with his wife.  Bet he felt pretty silly for how he acted!

I don't know all that happened in that case, but I know some correct principles include having faith, praying, being a good example, and being patient.  Keep an eye on the long term gameplan, and know the Lord is with you always.

Edited June 11, 2017 by DoctorLemon

[Jane_Doe]

15 hours ago, Kellybean said:

Hi everyone! I've been meeting with the missionaries and plan to be baptized next month! I know this is what God wants me to do. I feel it with all my heart and soul! But my husband thinks I'm joining a "cult", and so far hasn't been open to coming with me to meet with the sisters. I'd really like some advice. I so want my husband to join me, but if he doesn't, what should I do? Does anyone else on this forum have a spouse of a different faith/no faith? Thanks for reading ?

Hi Kelly, welcome to the forums and (far more importantly) welcome to strengthening your relationship with Christ!

I'm an LDS woman married to a non-LDS man.  It is a very doable combination, but requires respect and communication on both spouses parts (as does everything else in marriage).  While I would be overjoyed if my husband decided to join the Church and strengthen his relationship with Christ, that's something he's got to do for *himself* and *Christ* ---- not because it'll make *me* happy.  His faith is slow growing, but I respect it for what it is.  Likewise, he respects me and my faith, even though he thinks 3 hours of church is downright crazy.  But he's seen with his own two eyes how good my faith is for me: it makes me happy, more balances, and just a better person.  He does not share my faith, but unmistakably knows it's from God.

Feel free to ask me any more questions here on the public board or via PM!!

 

 

[prisonchaplain]

I may bring a unique perspective, as the non-LDS person on the board, but I'm trying to imagine how I would react if my wife decided to convert, join the LDS faith, and undergo water baptism.  There are so many factors that could effect my response.  What is hubby's faith practice (is he religious. how significantly, etc.)? Does he worry about how the children will be raised?  How long have you been married?  Was this matter popped on him, or has it been coming for some time?  To give a different context, I know of two men who converted from being Protestant ministers to Catholic. In one case the wife divorced him, and in the other the wife converted with him (as did the children).  Probably the best general counsel I would offer is to move with patience, constantly seek the Holy Spirit's direction, and to listen twice as much as you speak.  If this new-found faith is powerful, he will ultimately be moved by it, since he has obviously been moved by you.  To quote an outsider, "Preach the gospel by all means--and if necessary, use words." (St. Francis)