Peyton2309 Posted July 27, 2017 Report Share Posted July 27, 2017 Any advice from people who have gone through this or have anything to say: So I've been a member of the church for 3 now after attending church on my own after having read about it. I LOVED IT! Since then I've been on this on and off journey and I'm just feeling fed up and slightly conflicted. My on and off, what I mean is that I go through periods of really reading and praying, holding my garments sacred and just really emerged in the gospel and in church. Then... it's all downhill. Work or feelings just take over and it's not like I'm angry or cross, I just feel like I get sidetracked; stop wearing the garment because they are hard to wear with my work inform; I get distracted and life carries on. I guess a lot of people are thinking "well, there you go, she's not doing what she's meant to" but seriously... it's more than that. Even with dedicated weeks, it all comes crashing down and often I feel a bit suffocated. Right now, my ward has no YSA, so I don't have any friends in the church. I don't have any home teachers as they still haven't been assigned and im a teacher for the youth. I miss just going to church to learn about God and Christ and using the 3 hours for myself (as shellfish as that sounds), but even then, I'm sure it would be up and down within a month or 2. I've tried so hard to work out what gets in the way, what makes it so easy to treat my faith and the gospel like a light switch and I can't put my finger on it. I'm trying to decide if it's worth going back because I'm always so defeated. I know the atonement gives us chances to change and get better. But I'm asking myself whether or not this is what I genuinely want. I do go back, but as I said... it's that wave. Has anyone else experienced this? Do you have any suggestions or starting points? Thanks, The tired surfer Just_A_Guy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just_A_Guy Posted July 27, 2017 Report Share Posted July 27, 2017 How are you liking your Sundays overall? Would you call them "delightful"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunday21 Posted July 27, 2017 Report Share Posted July 27, 2017 @Peyton2309. Hi there! I went through this as well. I would not beat yourself up too much. It is natural to be uber enthusiastic at first and then wane a bit. You need something to spice your religious life up a bit. Do you have a temple recommend? If so, maybe go do some initiatories. These are shorter and then go to the celestial room and tell God all your problems. How about a good book. https://www.google.ca/search?q=gerald+lund+personal+revelation&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en-ca&client=safari There maybe some single adult activities in your stake where you could meet some new friends. Do you know how to find your stake young adult rep? If not, I can explain. Dont get down on yourself, you just need something to spice your religious life. Hang in there! seashmore 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peyton2309 Posted July 27, 2017 Author Report Share Posted July 27, 2017 6 minutes ago, Just_A_Guy said: How are you liking your Sundays overall? Would you call them "delightful"? No not at all! I feel trapped in the calling I'm in and very isolated overall. I haven't been for 3 weeks because I don't have any friends there and I feel like when I go I just want to spend 3 hours getting closer to the saviour, not telling children to sit down and listen (which I do 5 days of the week due to my work). My visiting teacher doesn't really engage, we used to be a group of friends until a couple of the others moved away and she had a baby, so home is the focus. I don't have home teachers and I just feel isolated in the ward. If I could say going for 3 hours gives me a chance to spend time with God, then at least that would be a purpose to go, but I can't even do that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peyton2309 Posted July 27, 2017 Author Report Share Posted July 27, 2017 3 minutes ago, Sunday21 said: @Peyton2309. Hi there! I went through this as well. I would not beat yourself up too much. It is natural to be uber enthusiastic at first and then wane a bit. You need something to spice your religious life up a bit. Do you have a temple recommend? If so, maybe go do some initiatories. These are shorter and then go to the celestial room and tell God all your problems. How about a good book. https://www.google.ca/search?q=gerald+lund+personal+revelation&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en-ca&client=safari There maybe some single adult activities in your stake where you could meet some new friends. Do you know how to find your stake young adult rep? If not, I can explain. Dont get down on yourself, you just need something to spice your religious life. Hang in there! Hey , thanks for the advice. Yes, we only have institute on 2 nights a week and guess what? I have class! Literally it's my biggest pet peeve that I always miss out. I have got my recommend, but the temple is 2 hours away. I think I'll try and make time to go, it's been a while and thanks for the book suggestion , I check it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunday21 Posted July 27, 2017 Report Share Posted July 27, 2017 10 minutes ago, Peyton2309 said: Hey , thanks for the advice. Yes, we only have institute on 2 nights a week and guess what? I have class! Literally it's my biggest pet peeve that I always miss out. I have got my recommend, but the temple is 2 hours away. I think I'll try and make time to go, it's been a while and thanks for the book suggestion , I check it out. How about a young adult conference? Or a stake activity? You need some friends! Facebook friend your young adult stake leader? seashmore 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just_A_Guy Posted July 27, 2017 Report Share Posted July 27, 2017 15 minutes ago, Peyton2309 said: No not at all! I feel trapped in the calling I'm in and very isolated overall. I haven't been for 3 weeks because I don't have any friends there and I feel like when I go I just want to spend 3 hours getting closer to the saviour, not telling children to sit down and listen (which I do 5 days of the week due to my work). My visiting teacher doesn't really engage, we used to be a group of friends until a couple of the others moved away and she had a baby, so home is the focus. I don't have home teachers and I just feel isolated in the ward. If I could say going for 3 hours gives me a chance to spend time with God, then at least that would be a purpose to go, but I can't even do that. What about the rest of Sunday, when you aren't at church? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peyton2309 Posted July 27, 2017 Author Report Share Posted July 27, 2017 3 minutes ago, Just_A_Guy said: What about the rest of Sunday, when you aren't at church? My family aren't members, it's just me. When I can I read a general conference talk here and there. Most of the time they have people over or want to do stuff. Sunday21 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunday21 Posted July 27, 2017 Report Share Posted July 27, 2017 23 minutes ago, Peyton2309 said: My family aren't members, it's just me. When I can I read a general conference talk here and there. Most of the time they have people over or want to do stuff. I went through this too! It is tough not having control over your own space, seashmore 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 28, 2017 Report Share Posted July 28, 2017 (edited) @Peyton2309, Hello! Welcome to the forum! First, this forum is where it's at. We'd be happy to make friends with you. Second, yes, many people go through the up and down -- even many who "attend" church regularly still "feel" the up and down that you describe. I think that this is essentially the tortoise and the hare. You "really want to ramp up" then you kinda lose steam and fall back down again. Try "slow and steady". Read your scriptures for 15-30 minutes a day. I personally have the BoM audio in the car. Then I'll study the Sunday school lesson for the week as I have time throughout the week. That way I still get to read all the standard works. Pray both morning and night and over every meal. I'm fortunate enough that I live in a fairly religious state (TX). Even though I'm the only Mormon at work, there are a lot of folks who pray over their meal here. Attend church NOT JUST FOR the lessons and socializing. Go there to feel what portion of the Spirit you can obtain. Remember, that it is not always going to come from other people. It is great if you get into one of those discussions where everyone is feeling the Spirit very strongly, but most of the time you feel the Spirit because you yourself are looking for it when no one else is. When General Authorities go to Sunday School, do you really think they need to learn more doctrine or Church history? No. But they are going to class to feel the Spirit. In your calling (I'm assuming you're in the Primary) in every lesson you prepare, ask yourself "What can I do to let the children feel the Spirit through this lesson?" That way, even if they don't feel it, you can. Given your distance from the temple, you might want to set more realistic goals. Try to go at least once a quarter, hopefully every month. Trying to get there every week is just unrealistic given the distance. Remember that progression on the road of discipleship is more often a gradual process rather than "all of a sudden." As long as you don't go backwards and you don't stop, you're going well. If you backslide or stall, then rest for a bit, and get going again. Everyone will go through that. It's just a question of how long you stay there and also, that you rise each time you fall. I've been working on some things for over 40 years. And it is discouraging to think I still haven't conquered some things after all this time. But it is those times of disappointment that you have to realize that each time you get back up from falling, you're that much stronger. Success comes not from the spectacular, but from the persistence of our mundane efforts. BTW, while we are friendly with almost everyone in the ward, I really can't say that I have any friends. It may seem lonely that way -- and for you as the only member in your family, it is probably more so. But we still have activities to go to. We see others a lot and socialize that way. Edited July 28, 2017 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunday21 Posted July 28, 2017 Report Share Posted July 28, 2017 @Peyton2309. Hey there! When I feel disconnected, I listen to general conference. I joined the church and they shortly thereafter put me in primary. I left the church because I felt disconnected. Sometimes a calling is good because you keep going to church and sometimes it is bad because you can miss spiritual nourishment. Think about it. Do you need to be in the classes that you are missing? Maybe pray about whether or not the calling should go. If you decide to drop the calling, be firm with the bishop. Tell him you can feel yourself drifting away and that you need to be in Sunday School. Give him a date, about a month away and then stick to it. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peyton2309 Posted July 29, 2017 Author Report Share Posted July 29, 2017 Thanks so much for the advice. It's really helped me to see a few things and problem. Firstly, I guess the question on my mind at the moment is... Do I want to be a chriatian or do i just like the idea of it? And actually I think that's why I'm so up and down. Sunday21 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunday21 Posted July 30, 2017 Report Share Posted July 30, 2017 3 hours ago, Peyton2309 said: Thanks so much for the advice. It's really helped me to see a few things and problem. Firstly, I guess the question on my mind at the moment is... Do I want to be a chriatian or do i just like the idea of it? And actually I think that's why I'm so up and down. Hi. I went through this too! Perhaps read some of the New Testament and ask God if He is there? Assume for the moment that there is a God and talk to Him. Ask Him bluntly if He exists and if He loves you. Hugs! seashmore and Peyton2309 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seashmore Posted July 30, 2017 Report Share Posted July 30, 2017 On July 27, 2017 at 4:34 PM, Peyton2309 said: Right now, my ward has no YSA, so I don't have any friends in the church. I don't have any home teachers as they still haven't been assigned and im a teacher for the youth. I totally get this. There are literally zero active singles within ten years and twenty miles of me. My last known home teacher suddenly moved to Utah about two months ago. I've been in the YW Presidency since March, and have spent about half of my three years in this branch as the Primary Music Leader. The friends I've found here have come through service, either me serving them or by allowing them to serve me. Even the free spirited three year old I consider one of my favorite friends came about because I'd give her, her younger sister, and her pregnant mom rides home after church so their dad could go to work. I'd end up hanging out for a humble lunch and sometimes a movie. I took on the role of "sacrament meeting nanny" and sit in rows or with families where the adult to child ratio needs some balance, especially if you see Mom is giving a talk that day. Carpooling is a great service vehicle. Ask someone if you can ride with them to stake conference, carpool to your VT assignments with your companion. I wish I could remember where I read/heard this, but this mortal life is meant to be a little lonely from time to time. Not only does it help us yearn for heaven a little too, but if we allow it, our own lonliness can help us recognize that feeling in others. As far as the ups and downs go, it's like climbing Mt. Everest. There are built in plateaus that allow climbers to acclimate themselves to the changes in altitudes. Same goes for living the Gospel. These times can be tough but necessary. This December was the first time in ten years I missed more than two consecutive Sundays. Quite honestly, I was incredibly depressed; enough so that I called the suicide help line. Even though I had no intention of ending my life, I wanted nothing more than for it to be over. I had gradually fallen out of daily prayer and scripture study, and from there, the rest of my life spun out from under me. Only within the past few months have I started back with the regular prayer and scripture reading (still not quite up to them both happening every day), and even little steps make a difference. Peyton2309, my two cents and Sunday21 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentOne Posted July 30, 2017 Report Share Posted July 30, 2017 @Peyton2309Have you read The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis? I first thought of this book because one of the letters (Chapter 8, I believe) deals with the normal human tendency to go through cycles like you described in your original post. I also feel like it could help with your question about whether you really want to be a Christian or not. Not saying it definitely will; just maybe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunday21 Posted July 30, 2017 Report Share Posted July 30, 2017 Hi @Peyton2309! i was thinking of you and I hope that you are doing well! Sometimes, when we look at the lds lifestyle, we see a lot of effort for little gain. A big part of the benefit of belonging to the church cannot be seen but makes up for all the effort. As you know, you can have the spirit living inside you all the time. When you hit a low point, the spirit is hard to see. This video might help you recognize the spirit in your life at the low points. Thinking of you! mirkwood and seashmore 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mirkwood Posted July 30, 2017 Report Share Posted July 30, 2017 good video. Sunday21 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fether Posted August 2, 2017 Report Share Posted August 2, 2017 Lots of good advice here Life is not meant to be all sunshine and rainbows. God will place trials in our path that help us grow. When difficult times come or we get frustrated, it is our spirit telling us that there is room to grow. God wants this. "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them" ether 12:27 Life is meant to be difficult ALSO! There is a difference between happiness and joy. Happiness is that emotion you were feeling Joy is the constant feeling of security, peace and love that comes from consistent righteous living. seashmore 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peyton2309 Posted August 3, 2017 Author Report Share Posted August 3, 2017 Thank you all for the support and help. I've done some thinking and found the answers to some of the problems I've been having. Hoping to see what Christ does with me now seashmore and Sunday21 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eddified Posted August 4, 2017 Report Share Posted August 4, 2017 On 7/29/2017 at 11:09 PM, seashmore said: I took on the role of "sacrament meeting nanny" and sit in rows or with families where the adult to child ratio needs some balance, especially if you see Mom is giving a talk that day. This is incredibly kind of you! I give a big thanks to anyone who does this! seashmore and Sunday21 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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