Very frustrated with missionaries right now

[Celticpride]

hi I'm very frustrated right now, the missionaries who taught me left and knew my situation, and sisters took their place and told them about my situation, but they don't really care! My family is very toxic and very anti Mormon, so I'm being careful right now, I am also going to be taught the lessons all over, I don't understand what to do now, having droughts about even being taught by the missionaries, and I can't always go to church because my family stays home and they are controlling, I'm 23 but I can't say I'm going to a Mormon church now, they will say all the lies about the Mormons and that they just want everyone to be Mormon and live on planets, don't know what to do, thank you 

[Jane_Doe]

Ok, so I'm seeing three difficulties here: 1) connecting with the current missionaries, 2) your family, and 3) not knowing what to do .  Let's talk about these.

1) Difficulties with connecting with the new missionaries: my heart goes out to you.  Yes, it indeed can be difficult to connect to new people and the missionaries teaching you are far from perfect.  The both work (and stumble) every day to be a better disciple of Christ (like the rest of us).   Have you tried telling them your feelings here?  Have you tried praying for them, that they might better understand your situation?  

 

As far as them wanting to teach the lessons all over again: a useful trick I find when people do that and I'm supposed to be the student is for me to take the teacher reins for a bit.  Teach them what you know-- they'll probably love it.  It super challenges yourself to really examine what you know, what you're contemplating, and what you don't know.  You'll never learn better than when you teach!

Edited October 14, 2017 by Jane_Doe

[Jane_Doe]

2) Your family.

I totally get this one.  My husband's family is very anti-Mormon and still refuses to see that I'm a Christian.  And that's after nearly 20 years of knowing them.  Some times people want to see the truth, and some times they find their old preconceptions more comforting.  Ultimately that's their choice, as is each of our choice to follow Christ.  Doesn't that doesn't mean it still doesn't suck or hurt/irritate (like every time my mother-in-law says "I just wish you were a Christian"), but it's their choice.  

The best thing you can do to testify of the Truthfulness of the Gospel is to live: live the Gospel and let your light shine.  Let it bring you joy, more love, and a better life.  Letting Christ's light shine is far better than any other way of testifying. 

Edited October 14, 2017 by Jane_Doe

[Jane_Doe]

3) What to do: Before I address this, I have a clarifying question to ask-- 

From your post I got the impression that you are 23, live with your parents, and are financially dependent on them.  Is that correct?

[Guest MormonGator]

I get your frustration 100%. Going over the same thing/or being taught things you already know can be so frustrating. That's the drawback of being a convert-a lot of people will assume that you don't know anything about the church and be sort of condescending to you. You have to try a little harder sometimes to "prove" yourself. It's also hard to be young and depend on your family when you disagree with them. Then to top things off, you feel like you don't connect with anyone in the ward except the missionaries and they move out/get transferred. 

My heart is with you my friend. Try to remember that it's the gospel itself that is true-and you'll always have a special bond with the missionaries who taught you. 

Edited October 14, 2017 by MormonGator

[Grunt]

I feel your pain.  I have a billion page thread mostly complaining about missionaries.  I feel pretty silly about it now.  

Take control of your own learning.  Have you been on Mormon.org?  Chat with a missionary there.  I have found them to be VERY helpful and if you want them to they will communicate with your missionaries.  It's funny how the sisters on mormon.org can really set things straight with your ward missionaries.  It seems they can get my thoughts across even when I can't.

 

[NightSG]

Well, the missionaries are supposed to be the ones dedicating themselves full time to teaching you, but that doesn't mean that nobody else can.

First, check mormon.org and see if there's more than one phone number listed for missionaries.  Maybe there's another pair in your ward.  I'm sure leadership will understand if you just tell them you'd rather not be taught by the current set but are willing to be taught by someone else.  Failing that, the bishop's number should be there, and he should have some ideas that can help; every set of home/visiting teachers has that one assignment that will never answer the phone/door/email, and some have nothing but those types, so maybe a pair can put you on their list just to have someone that actually wants to hear from them.   Then there are those people who just like to talk so they can hear their own heads rattle; you may have noticed a few of them on here, and they really are everywhere, so likely your ward has a few women who will gladly teach you whatever you want to know, what you don't want to know, what you hope never to know, and what nobody (including them) actually knows if you give them a chance.

[Celticpride]

I'm very frustrated with the sisters! They tell me the elders can't come to your baptism, and asked why but won't tell me, and no I can't go to church all the time, try living with a very toxic and controlling family who only brags about themselves every day, i text the elders but feel like I'm moving to a different country, I'm very frustrated and think I'm done, I'll go to Mormon.org, but I'm very frustrated 

[zil]

8 hours ago, Celticpride said:

I'm very frustrated with the sisters! They tell me the elders can't come to your baptism, and asked why but won't tell me, and no I can't go to church all the time, try living with a very toxic and controlling family who only brags about themselves every day, i text the elders but feel like I'm moving to a different country, I'm very frustrated and think I'm done, I'll go to Mormon.org, but I'm very frustrated 

Celticpride, perhaps no one has explained this, and it won't likely be comforting, but at least you'll know what's going on.  (If you already know this, please forgive the repeat.)

1) The church has divided the world into geographic areas called "Missions" - how many square miles any given Mission takes up will vary, but each Mission has geographic bounds and those assigned to a Mission do not work outside the geographic bounds thereof.

2) Within a Mission there are smaller areas (I'm not certain, actually, what these are called, so I'm going to call them "Areas").  Missionaries who are sent to a Mission are then assigned to an Area for a limited time (let's say 6 months for the sake of discussion).  They serve in that Area for their assigned period of time.  They are not allowed to work outside their assigned Area.  (As I understand it, they're not even allowed to leave the Area without permission.)  They have no choice in the Area nor the duration of their assignment -- they go when and where assigned.

Thus, it's not the choice of your former missionaries not to come back for your baptism.  They have been reassigned.

We believe that the Lord guides those responsible for these assignments, and that the Lord has guided those who set the pattern described above.  There are good reasons for it, but that doesn't mean it won't occasionally be frustrating to someone who has a rapport with a pair of missionaries.

Please try to be patient and tolerant (not just with the missionaries, but with yourself, and those you must interact with daily) - everyone involved in the situation is human and has their own weaknesses.  I'm certain there are many (here and there) who are praying for you.  I pray you will have success as you work to improve your life, not just the spiritual aspects, but your family and living situation as well.  Hold tight.  Remember God loves you.  The missionaries at Mormon.org may well offer the additional support / stability you need.

[anatess2]

Hi @Celticpride!  Love that name... brings me back to my Enya days.  LOL.

So, I have a direct answer for your "What do I do?" question.

This is how missions is supposed to work: 

@zil outlined the logistics of full time Missionaries above - those young elders and sisters who are teaching you right now.  Those missionaries serve full-time for 18 months for sisters and 2 years for elders and then they go home.  They don't do anything else in that time but teach and serve, moving between areas in a specific mission field. 

But full-time missionaries are only one resource among the entire plan.  What should have happened is that the missionaries help build a relationship between you and the ward while teaching you the restored gospel.  It is the ward you need to make deep connections to because they are your ward family.  Full-time missionaries come and go, wards don't go anywhere.  So, this is what I suggest you do.  Ask the missionaries to help you get to know the ward.  They don't just meet for church on Sundays.  They have tons of activities and such that you can join.  There's usually a Ward Mission Leader who leads a team of Ward Missionaries in a ward.  These ward missionaries are people who belong to that ward whose job is to teach the discussions to investigators or new members of the ward.  They don't go door-to-door like full-time missionaries do because the ward missionaries are not full-time missionaries.  They serve as missionaries in addition to their regular life.  If your ward doesn't have ward missionaries,  you can ask the full-time missionaries if one of the ward families can teach you the discussion.  Even ask if you can meet with the Bishop.  Try to meet as many of your ward families as you can and see if there's one that you feel you can build a deeper connection with so you can share your very personal struggles and hopefully get some compassionate assistance in your journey for as long as you both live in the ward and even as a lasting eternal friendship.

Hope this helps.

Edited October 17, 2017 by anatess2