Real or false memory?

[wellhellothere]

Hey guys! 

So I feel like I'm really stuck here regarding a memory of something that happened many years ago. I've talked to the bishop and I told him what I remember to be undoubtedly true and the matter was dealt with. Recently however, I dove into a pretty toxic spiral into discerning whether a certain "memory" relating to the experience all those years ago happened or not. It got me absolutely nowhere but I want to make sure that I COMPLETELY repent of everything that needs to be repented for and that really can't happen if I'm spending hours trying to justify whether or not I actually did something bad. Of course fear of consequences and guilt adds to the confusion. Like how can someone feel guilty about something that may not have even happened? Or am I somehow denying that it happened? It's a bit of an endless spiral. 

I've talked to the bishop about stuff that I actually concretely remember and I'm not too sure what I'm supposed to do with potentially false memories which are related to the pretty painful experience and whether or not I've fully repented. I'm kinda scared that this may be a symptom of false memory OCD because I've spent hours and days with thinking about things which may or may not have happened.  

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!! 

 

[Jane_Doe]

The big thing about repentance is the change of heart from sin to Christ.  Where is your heart here?  Is it changed/where it should be?

[Iggy]

D & C 58:

42 Behold, he who has ^arepented of his ^bsins, the same is ^cforgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more.

43 By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins—behold, he will ^aconfess them and ^bforsake them.

(bolding is mine)

Verse 42 says that the Lord will remember them NO more. If He remembers them no more, then you MUST remember them NO more, or as it is stated in the next verse: forsake them.  Put the past in the past, close and lock that door.

If you are still agonizing over this, then THAT is satan beating down on you. Banish the adversary - get on your knees in heartfelt prayer and banish him. I went through a time period where satan was beating me down in more ways than I could keep track of and fight back against. A very wise and wonderful women at church took me into one of the unused class rooms, we sat knees to knees (we both have arthritic joints, so no kneeling here) and we prayed together. She opened and then during the plea to Father to banish satan - she invited me to speak to Father too. Joint prayer. Never knew that could be done - and my Hubby and I do it often now.

So, banish satan. Do it daily if need be. After you do that, pray to Father and THANK HIM for hearing your pleas. Give gratitude for all of the blessings Father has bestowed on you. With a grateful heart, your pleas of banishment of the adversary will be heard.

[seashmore]

Our memories can play tricks on us sometimes; they are fallible.  If your priesthood leader has assisted you in repenting of all that you know you have done wrong, you are forgiven in the Lord's eyes.  If you aren't sure whether you committed the sin/s you think you are remembering, pray it out.  He knows what you've done and what has been distorted in your memory.  He knows how repentant your heart is at least as well as you do.  Your prayer may include wording such as "I'm not sure if I [did XYZ] but if I did, I am truly sorry that I behaved that way.  I seek your forgiveness and your guidance to avoid that in the future."  

Participate in the ordinance of the sacrament.  Those few minutes are meant to be a time to rededicate ourselves to the Lord and the promises we have made to Him.  Focus on what you can fix and do your best to forget about the rest.

Even though Brigham Young didn't really say this, I like it, anyway.

[NeedleinA]

On 7/23/2018 at 1:38 AM, Iggy said:

Joint prayer. Never knew that could be done -

Outside of the temple, this is news to me as well.
Just curious, have you seen this type of prayer taught before at church via a manual, handbook, etc?

Thanks

[NeuroTypical]

Yeah, vague memories can be an annoying plague. Real?  Imagined?  Started real and morphed into something that never happened?  Human memory can be notoriously unreliable.

I remember reading about an experiment.  They talked to 100 people about their Disneyland experience.  They asked about the characters they met in the park, and did anyone run into Woody Woodpecker.  10-15% of those surveyed did indeed remember Woody.  Of course, the woody character is owned by Universal, not Disney, and there has never been a Woody in any Disneyland park ever - Disneyland would be guilty of copyright infringement!  But just asking the question managed to create a false memory in some people.

Yeah, I have done things in my past which have led me to confession.  I have an imperfect memory of them, but did my best to confess everything.  The bishop assured me (and I have heard this from multiple sources), that repentance is a matter of turning the heart to better roads - it's not a pass/fail test with a minimum score.  I used to do crap.  Can't really remember it all.  Confessed as best I could, and don't do that crap any more.   I have no reason to doubt that's not good enough for God.  

wellhellothere, consider giving yourself a break about the vague details.  Are you sincere in your repentance?  Are you truly dedicated to renouncing sins and walking a more righteous path of a disciple?   Go forth and walk it.  Feel free to tell your bishop you're not fully confident that you're remembering everything correctly.  But don't let your imperfection consume you.

[Iggy]

14 hours ago, NeedleinA said:

Outside of the temple, this is news to me as well.
Just curious, have you seen this type of prayer taught before at church via a manual, handbook, etc?

Thanks

No I haven't