Gift of Tongues

[Garry73]

So, to shorten a long predicament, I am schizophrenic and was assigned to a service mission, for a multitude of reasons. 

This is where I really would like to capture your guy's attention. When I was 13, I had a desire to get my patriarchal blessing. I got it, but was a little disappointed due the the subject, or lack thereof to my blessing. You see, ever since I was a kid, I was obsessed into finding something I'm good at, a talent, even a gift. I've heard a lot of people getting their blessing with a spiritual gift. I didn't get it.

So, that sucked and really broke me into a self-esteem crisis. But this isn't the end, as my mission setting apart by my Stake President. He's a great man, and I trust him with a lot of things. I'm just confused about spiritual gifts he said in my setting apart. 

The first one, and I think most predominant one is the gift of tongues. This is stumping me, as I'm pretty much the opposite guy who could use this. I'm in Iowa, and don't see too many foreigners speaking foreign languages. I don't know if I'll ever use the colloquial meaning by it. I understand that gift of tongues is not ubiquitous to us individually, but I'm not particularly eloquent in speech or writing. 

The second is a bit more difficult to answer, and I'm not really looking for anyone to answer it, unless they want of course. It's listening to the Spirit. This coincides with my schizophrenia as I hallucinate the spirit. I won't go into detail on how it happens, but just know that when schizophrenia and paranoia masquerades as God, you don't want to see that happen

Thanks for reading and maybe I'll learn something about myself. I'm just curious why I've never been good at anything in my life, and then get an answer, to do something I can't use on my mission.

 

 

[LDSGator]

God can do amazing things my brother. You never know when you will use the gifts He gave you. 

[Carborendum]

4 hours ago, Garry73 said:

So, to shorten a long predicament, I am schizophrenic and was assigned to a service mission, for a multitude of reasons. 

Well, that seems like a difficult predicament.  I hope the Lord can help you through that.

4 hours ago, Garry73 said:

This is where I really would like to capture your guy's attention. When I was 13, I had a desire to get my patriarchal blessing. I got it, but was a little disappointed due the the subject, or lack thereof to my blessing. You see, ever since I was a kid, I was obsessed into finding something I'm good at, a talent, even a gift. I've heard a lot of people getting their blessing with a spiritual gift. I didn't get it.

So, that sucked and really broke me into a self-esteem crisis. But this isn't the end, as my mission setting apart by my Stake President. He's a great man, and I trust him with a lot of things. I'm just confused about spiritual gifts he said in my setting apart. 

I've heard some people have had that happen.  But of all the people who have personally shared theirs with me (either generally or completely) none of them have had any gift of the Spirit mentioned in their patriarchal blessing.  So, I wouldn't feel so bad about that.

It has been my experience that the gifts of the Spirit come from the Gift of the Holy Ghost.  That is to say, when we "receive the Holy Ghost" we generally receive at least one gift of the Spirit to some degree or other.

4 hours ago, Garry73 said:

The first one, and I think most predominant one is the gift of tongues. This is stumping me, as I'm pretty much the opposite guy who could use this. I'm in Iowa, and don't see too many foreigners speaking foreign languages. I don't know if I'll ever use the colloquial meaning by it. I understand that gift of tongues is not ubiquitous to us individually, but I'm not particularly eloquent in speech or writing. 

Perhaps this blessing had nothing to do with your mission.  It was a promise of a gift yet to be developed.  And as you do, you'll find a purpose for using it that may be later in life.

4 hours ago, Garry73 said:

The second is a bit more difficult to answer, and I'm not really looking for anyone to answer it, unless they want of course. It's listening to the Spirit. This coincides with my schizophrenia as I hallucinate the spirit. I won't go into detail on how it happens, but just know that when schizophrenia and paranoia masquerades as God, you don't want to see that happen

Yes, that's a pretty tough one.  It is often difficult for a neurotypical mind to comprehend the differences between our own thought vs the impressions of the Holy Ghost.  It would undoubtedly be more difficult for a schizophrenic.

I can tell you that being able to "hear" the Spirit comes in stages.   As you learn to hear the Spirit on very simple things, first, then you can eventually get more important and more nuanced things later. 

It is like developing a palet for fine foods.  If all you've had is cheap bread, you may not know the difference in flavor of various breads.  But with enough experience, one can recognize the difference between 50 cent store brand vs those fresh french bread loaves that they bring out to the checkout lines.  It takes a lot of experience with many loaves and paying careful attention with each exposure.  Slowly, you explore and experience, keep analyzing and comparing.  Experiment.  Pray and learn.

It usually starts with the feeling of "I wonder if..."  As you pursue and experiment, you'll know through experience which of those "I wonders" are from the Lord or not.  As you learn and grow, your confidence in being able to discern will be greater.  While you have the added difficulty of schizophrenia, you'll need to be even more cautious.  For others, they only need to discern between their own thoughts vs the Spirit.  But you have a third possibility - your schizophrenia.  So, that added handicap is what requires the additional caution and experience.

I can give you this advice: If you're hearing a "voice" early on, that is probably not correct.  It is a rare individual that can hear the Spirit as a "voice" in early levels of familiarity with the phenomenon.  That usually comes later.   I say "usually" because I've known someone who heard the Spirit voice as a recent convert.  I won't go into details, but I was witness to his ability to perceive things and hear verbal guidance from the Spirit.  For me, I've rarely heard a voice.  And the few times I did hear an actual voice was when the stakes were very high.  I was much older and had prayed for many years to develop this gift.  And it has never been "on demand" for me.  It was when the Lord saw fit to grant me this boon because it was really necessary.

Another factor is this:  If you're getting a "voice" without the assurance of understanding and peace, that is probably your schizophrenia speaking.  The voice tends to come only in a very dire need or for something very important.

4 hours ago, Garry73 said:

Thanks for reading and maybe I'll learn something about myself. I'm just curious why I've never been good at anything in my life, and then get an answer, to do something I can't use on my mission.

Garry, I'm going to make a guess based on what you've said in this final line.  You seem pretty down on yourself.  I'd encourage you to spend more time praying, pondering, and studying the scriptures for more talents and abilities that you have.  Spend some time searching the internet for hobbies, talents, professions that seem to "speak to you."  When you see/hear some profession where you think "I could see myself doing that."  That is a signal that it is something to explore.  It may not be "THE" thing you'll end up in.  But maybe it will.

For me, I delved into many different things. And many times, I thought "that didn't work out."  But it turned out that while those episodes were not my final destination, they did contribute to my life and make me a better, more confident person overall.

May the Lord bless and guide you on your journey.

Edited February 13 by Carborendum

[NeuroTypical]

Hi Garry73, cool story!

15 hours ago, Garry73 said:

It's listening to the Spirit. This coincides with my schizophrenia as I hallucinate the spirit. I won't go into detail on how it happens, but just know that when schizophrenia and paranoia masquerades as God, you don't want to see that happen

I must say that you're hardly alone in struggling to determine whether you're experiencing a brain thing or a spirit thing.  Your situation is a bit uncommon, but I think we've all encountered folks who mistake mere feelings for spiritual impression and direction.  There surely seems to be no shortage of them in testimony meeting.

What a cool thing to have this firm a grip on your own brain, so you know that a bit of discernment is needed before you listen to any old random brain thing.

 

[Ironhold]

Right now, translator jobs are in *very* high demand. This is especially the case in the entertainment industry, as there have been repeated fan revolts over the way that companies like FUNimation (now a part of Crunchyroll) and Seven Seas have mishandled the various foreign-language franchises they've gotten the rights to. 

If you're fluent in another language, you can get some pretty solid job offers. 

[Garry73]

Thank you guys for your responses. It has helped me realize that maybe it just doesn't mean during my mission. I've always had an issue to recognize the Spirit from my internal monologue, but there's a point in the Doctrine and Covenants, that basically says He will teach you in your heart, but also in your mind. Unfortunately for me, I struggle with my perception of reality, think an auditory hallucination is really a hallucination or God speaking to me. Schizophrenia is like your mind constantly deceiving reality. I also have scrupulosity, and that makes it harder to deny the voice when I'm being delusional. But all of this is more psychiatrict than spiritual, so I'll leave it at that. Again thank you.

[LDSGator]

2 hours ago, Garry73 said:

Thank you guys for your responses. It has helped me realize that maybe it just doesn't mean during my mission. I've always had an issue to recognize the Spirit from my internal monologue, but there's a point in the Doctrine and Covenants, that basically says He will teach you in your heart, but also in your mind. Unfortunately for me, I struggle with my perception of reality, think an auditory hallucination is really a hallucination or God speaking to me. Schizophrenia is like your mind constantly deceiving reality. I also have scrupulosity, and that makes it harder to deny the voice when I'm being delusional. But all of this is more psychiatrict than spiritual, so I'll leave it at that. Again thank you.

Oh anytime bro. We are praying for you.