What can I say?

[LanPingPug]

I would love to start attending an LDS Chapel near to me, but I don't know what I would tell my mother and my boyfriend. In the past I've been to all sorts of different denominations of the christian church, such as Catholic, Pentecostal, Assemblies of God, Methodist, ICOC and even The Family International. I was christened in a Church of England (Anglican) church and confirmed as a Methodist but I've never found a place where I belonged.

I also suffer with mental illness and some of the churches have treated me really badly, telling me it was my own fault I was ill. I've been told it was because of unrepented sin or that I had evil spirits or the devil attacking me. Then someone sent me a link to an Ensign article about myths about mental health and when I read it, I nearly cried. It was so even-handed and understanding, so loving and positive. It was NOTHING like any of the other churches had taught. I really felt that God was drawing me to the LDS church.

A couple of years ago, missionaries had left me a Book of Mormon. I had forgotten about it, but I got it out and there was even a little leaflet that was a guide to reading it inside the front cover so when I get a free night I'm going to read it.

My mum doesn't like the idea of missionaries coming to the house so I'm looking to get in contact with my local chapel and see what they say. Unfortunately one of my phobias is using the phone, especially with people I don't know, so I thought I'd write them a letter instead of calling. I'll include my email address so they can either write back or contact me online.

I'd really like you to recommend some websites that I can direct my mum (who's a Methodist) and my boyfriend (who's an Anglican) to, so they can see for themselves that the LDS isn't a cult and that they have nothing to worry about. Also, have any of you got any tips for actually telling them I'd like to attend the church? I don't drive, so it would have to be my mum who took me to the chapel, so its not like I can go without telling her! I also see my boyfriend on a weekend and we usually spend sundays together so I can't go without telling him either. I'm still hoping that when I write, there will be some girls there that are my age and that I'll be able to chat to them about it.

[Dr T]

You can say "Hi" :) Welcome to this site LanPP

[lostnfound]

being a mom and not lds.and if they ever happened to me. I would want my kids to come to me openly and honestly. Telling me exactly why they would like to attend X and let there be really open dialogue about this. I would not want to be sent to a site to read..but I would want you as my son to tell me what you believe about the church etc..

[crytsprospect]

lds.org

what about mormons.org

look at the quick links on this site

start by reading the book of Mormon and pray about it

[Misshalfway]

I think that if I were you, I would try to sit down and talk to my mother and boyfriend about my feelings and intentions and what led me to them. Perhaps they will have objections at first, but maybe if they heard your feelings and desires it might help soften their reactions. And then maybe plan to give them a few days to get used to the idea. Let your mom know that you respect her and want her to be informed and involved in your journey. Let her express her feelings....whatever they are. Hopefully, you too can have a calm and healthy discussion. These things are nerve racking though, aren't they? Perhaps a prayer before, during, and after would help too. :)

I know members of the church who carry all sorts of burdens with regards to mental and emotional health. The church has professional supports to help families and individuals cope. The church isn't perfect, but they are trying hard to understand the nature of these challenges and to employ the well trained professionals so that any one who needs it can access therapy or other supports.

I think Crytsprospect is right. LDS.org is the best place to start. Or perhaps give her a copy of the ensign and maybe the New Era. Maybe even the article you read about mental illness. Let her read a little. I get mine in the mail and we just got an extra publication specifically about Christ. Perhaps that might be a helpful way to show her that we are indeed Christian. I wonder if the missionaries have pamphlets as well. Something basic and easy to understand. She could go visit the church and walk around to get a feel for what it is. I am sure the missionaries would like to help you anyway they could and try to meet your special needs too. Maybe introduce you to other members in your age range. The church has lots of activities and programs for youth and young adults.

I hope that your mom will listen. I know that there are so many misconceptions about the church. I hope that she will see your desires and support you.

Do you have any member friends that live nearby? Perhaps you could have the lessons in their home. They may be willing to help with transportation needs. I know on my mission, we taught in members home a lot. Maybe your mom could meet them and develop a relationship so she might feel more included and more secure about the process.

Beyond that, the BofM really is the best place to start. Good luck!! I hope you will come and tell us what happens. I know I would be interested .

[MorningStar]

I would pray and have a talk with them. I'll be praying for you too! :) Thank you for sharing your story.

[WillowTheWhisp]

Yes I agree that lds.org is the best place to find information about the church which would help your Mother to see that it is not a dangerous brainwashing cult. I can understand why you want to find something your Mum can read to understand more about the church. I also agree that telling her your feelings about wanting to know more and why you were drawn to this is important.

If she is negative about missionaries coming to your home perhaps this is due to fear of being 'brainwashed' which may sound silly to LDS members but I have known non-members who really are afraid of missionaries because they think they have been taught brainwashing techniques and that if they speak to them they will not be able to think for themselves.

It would be absolutely brilliant if your Mum could meet some church members and realise that we are just normal people. I knew a lady who was very anti-Mormon based on having once met one whom she didn't like. She conceded that we (my husband and I) were not like that but had decided that we were the exception to the rule. She was a dressmaker and we introduced a friend to her who wanted a dress making. This friend was also LDS and so the dressmaker now knew two LDS\families who didn't fit her image of Mormons. Then my friend introduced her to someone else and they turned out to be normal ordinary folks too. Then one day we were passing her shop and noticed two bicycles outside. The missionaries were in the shop.

After they left and we went in to talk to her she demanded to know why we had never told her about Joseph Smith! We reminded her that she wouldn't let us because she had always insisted that she didn't like Mormons and didn't want to have anything to do with them. She replied that that was before she knew what we were really like!

By the way, your story of searching other churches reminds me very much of myself. I did the same. I'd been most everywhere there is!

Sadly the misconceptions about mental illness are also alive and well within our church, even though we are repeatedly taught by our leaders that it is not true. I had a period where I suffered from quite severe depression and my then Bishop told me that "despair cometh because of iniquity" and to repent of my sins! That man subsequently suffered a breakdown so I think he learned that he was wrong. Sometimes people have to learn the hard way. I tell you this because although the church itself is perfect there are members who often put their own slant on things and unfortunately end up far from perfect. I hope you don't get disillusioned about the LDS church and the restored gospel if you come across any members like that.

I hope you find a way of getting to church and a way of talking to the missionaries and that your Mother will be understanding of your desire to seek the truth. God bless you.

[Dale]

LDS FAIR Apologetics Homepage and its FAIR Wiki. The link to that is on its main page. But they deal with a lot of basic objections LDS get about their history, doctrine and practice.

[pushka]

Hi Lan, I'm pleased that you received the article regarding the LDS church and mental health issues, perhaps showing your mum that article would be a place to start discussing your intentions?

I can't think of anything else other than what others on here have posted. You can contact The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to send you a Book Of Mormon, or to have it delivered to you by the Missionaries if you wish, or you can ring your local chapel (there is also a chapel locator on that website) and ask for somebody to accompany you to church or to come to visit you at home if you wish, before you attend the chapel..

Good Luck with your search :)

[seeker]

Audio Formats

this talk by Daniel Judd might be helpfull it is abit dry though

BYU Forum (7/18/2006)

[sjdean]

being a mom and not lds.and if they ever happened to me. I would want my kids to come to me openly and honestly. Telling me exactly why they would like to attend X and let there be really open dialogue about this. I would not want to be sent to a site to read..but I would want you as my son to tell me what you believe about the church etc..

Oh I don't know. There's nothing quite like a mothers guilt. I agree it's best to be honest, but you really have to say screw it, Im just going. My mothers similar. I'll talk about attending - just to see what things are like, but it would be strictly frowned upon.

[sjdean]

A couple of years ago, missionaries had left me a Book of Mormon. I had forgotten about it, but I got it out and there was even a little leaflet that was a guide to reading it inside the front cover so when I get a free night I'm going to read it.

I'd love to ask, how did you come by the Book of Mormon? Did you seek it out, or did it find you?

[LanPingPug]

I ordered a video from the LDS after seeing it advertised on TV. The video arrived in the morning post, then in the afternoon two missionaries turned up. I was surprised to see them as there was no mention of a home visit when I ordered the video, so I didn't let them in but they gave me the Book of Mormon.

So I guess you could say it found me!

[sjdean]

Is that the one they advertise around easter? Yeah, I still have that one. But never had the home visit. If you're anything like me you wonder, hrm, I met the missionaries in a way that hasn't happened to others, I wonder if that's significant. :-)

Im not LDS, but like you mention, I too feel drawn to the faith. Im not sure I agree with some of its precepts, but those are really personal struggles of mine.

Are you from the UK then? Which Sunny bit of the UK? Perhaps you could find other ways of getting to the chapel.

The very best of luck to you in your journey!

Cya

Simon

[LanPingPug]

Yes, I'm from the UK. South Staffordshire in central England to be precise. My nearest chapel is in Sedgley. Its part of the Woodsetton ward. I'm going to write a letter to the chapel leader, explaining my situation and I'll hopefully get a reply quite quickly.

[inthearmsofsleep]

Mormon.org is a good site for anyone unfamiliar with our church. I'm not sure if the missionaries were notified when you ordered that video... but they do find and teach by following promptings from the Holy Ghost so maybe that explains it Good luck with your family and your own search for truth.

[MorningStar]

being a mom and not lds.and if they ever happened to me. I would want my kids to come to me openly and honestly. Telling me exactly why they would like to attend X and let there be really open dialogue about this. I would not want to be sent to a site to read..but I would want you as my son to tell me what you believe about the church etc..

I think it's good to tell your parents, but a person shouldn't have to set themselves up to be talked out of it. My dad is very anti-chiropractor and when I decided to give it a try, I went and told him later and my mom had said, "Don't tell your dad you went! He would be furious!" I can make my own decisions. :)

[Vanhin]

Another thing you can do is email a question at this link, and the missionaries of the Church will answer them. There is also an option for live chat, but I'm not sure on the schedule for that. Here's the link -> Mormon.org - Email a question

Vanhin

[LanPingPug]

The live chat option isn't currently working as far as I can see. I have contacted the church through a contact form before but received no reply. Have now written a letter that I'll post to the LDS chapel closest to me. This is what I wrote:

Dear Sir,

My name is Lucy Reeves, I am 25 and I live in the village of Wombourne, not far from your chapel. I hope you don’t mind me writing to you; I have a phobia about talking on the phone to anyone I don’t know.

I suppose I should tell you why I am writing to you. I have recently been praying to God to help me find the church that I belong in. I have been to many churches in the past: Pentecostal, Methodist, Anglican, Catholic, ICOC, even The Family International, but I have never felt that I was meant to stay in any of them. One of the main reasons has been their attitudes to mental illness. As someone who has these sorts of problems I have found these churches can be very narrow-minded about the issue and have been told that it was my own fault that I was ill, that it was because of unrepented sin or that I was being attacked by evil spirits.

Then, someone sent me a link to an article about mental illness that was in “Ensign” magazine. As I read it, I saw that the LDS church’s teachings were incredibly loving and caring. I read more about the church’s beliefs and practices on various church websites and I came to understand that God had led me there because He wanted me to be in His one, true church. I remembered seeing your chapel once when driving past, so I looked up your address and thought I would write to you.

I do actually have a Book of Mormon. It was given to me by some missionaries a few years ago. I accepted the book but couldn’t ask them in as my mother didn’t want them in the house. I looked at it as soon as I had read the websites about the church and it had a small leaflet inside which showed me some passages to read. It also had the name of your chapel, which is where the missionaries must have come from in the first place.

By writing to you, I hoped that you would be able to put me in touch with someone my own age (I’m 25) or someone that lived near to me, with a view to meeting them and coming to the chapel. I don’t drive, so that is also a difficulty. I would like to meet missionaries (preferably female) but not at my home as my mother wouldn’t allow it. She is a Methodist and I’m really not sure how she will take the news about it all! I really hope that you can see a way for me to proceed as I know God wants me to be in the LDS church.

I have written my email address at the top of this letter. When you have the time please contact me either by letter or email. Thank you so much for your time.

Yours faithfully

Lucy Reeves (Miss)

I hope that sounds okay to you all. Let me know what you think.

[lilered]

Yes, it sounds fine. I would address address it to the Bishop of the Ward.

[Vanhin]

That sounds great. That's too bad about the live chat. I think that would have been a good thing in this situation. Maybe it will come back up soon.

Making a visit to the meetinghouse will be really good. There is a sunday school class that covers the basics of our Church that is really helpful. It's called Gospel Principles. The local missionaries usually participate in that class as well. It is a good place to ask questions and to learn more.

Good luck. Let us know how everything turns out.

Sincerely,

Vanhin

[WillowTheWhisp]

The letter sounds great. I hope it won't be too long before you hear from someone in the Ward\and can find a way of getting to church there.

[LanPingPug]

Well, I just got over a HUGE hurdle. I mentioned to my boyfriend Neil that I'd been looking into local churches but hadn't found one I felt drawn to. Then I said that I thought I might try an LDS chapel and he just asked me how I'd get there. He didn't comment on what sort of church it was or anything, so I'm assuming he doesn't know what LDS stands for, but at least I've broken the ice about it.

So if he turns round to me in a week's time and says "You're going to a Mormon church?!?!" I can say, in all truth, "You didn't have a problem with it when I told you about it the first time!"

LOL

God Bless

Lucy xx

[sjdean]

Staffs eh? I come from t'other side of Birmingham, near Solihull.

[LanPingPug]

Well, I did it...I told my Mum I was investigating the LDS church. She was a bit confused about the teachings but I told her about how loving the teaching on mental health was and I said I would show her some church websites with more about the teachings. She goes away tomorrow with my step-dad until monday, but my friend is staying over until monday and my boyfriend will stay saturday night too so I think we'll have fun. We're going to a Chinese buffet on saturday night then on sunday we're going to Birmingham and I'll show my friend the Bull Ring shopping centre.

Luckily, there's 3 bedrooms in the house, or else one of us would have ended up on the sofa. My boyfriend stays in the spare room when he stays here but my friend will be in there on saturday night. I get to sleep in the BIG bed in Mum's room and Neil will have to cope with my creaky little bed. Oh well...